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Solve the above with troll science


Quetzal the furdragon
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I use the network cable to transfer my consciousness and my tulpas to my personal website, which I fortunately was hosting somewhere else while I fixed my server PC. My body doesn't survive, but I'm free to live on the internet. I then take the Rick Astley poster and put it on the front page of Youtube. Next I drink the soda and wear the high-heels that I also uploaded before the flood came. I discard the joystick because why use it if I can play games with my mind.

 

(Yes, I know the internet doesn't work like that, but still, it is troll science, after all)

 

You find yourself stuck in a atrocious crossover romance fanfic featuring Picard and Edgy the Hedgehog. You have a broken inter-dimensional portal creator-thingy that you're probably not gonna fix anytime soon, a dress, some tic tacs, and the mental image of those two engraved in your mind. Escape.

Tulpas:

Melody - Creation Date: October 21st, 2014

Pumpkin - Creation Date: January 2015

 

my mastodon - my other mastodon

We're gonna try to post more often, but you know, no promises or whatever.

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I try to use the interdimenional portal creator to try to go back to the real world, but because it's broken it instead sends me to an erotic but terrible Bleach fanfic. So I then throw the dress on the two characters having sexy time to cover them up because I don't want to watch, then leave and redesign the portal creator to run smoothly on tic-tacs an create a portal back to the real world. I then go to therapy because the mental image of both fanfics torture me in my sleep.

 

You wake up to find yourself on Jurassic Park. After walking for a bit you stumble upon a Tyrannosaurus rex and learn firsthand that standing still to avoid being seen is a myth. You check your backpack to find that all you have is a DVD for the fourth season of Bleach (ew bount arc), a cheap $1 squirt gun, an empty water bottle, and a jar you bought from a sleezy black market merchant that said it contains the Sands of Time. How to you escape the island?

 

Edit: spelling

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push the water bottle into the dirt so that it picks up the water in then dirt, then pour it into the squirt gun. Shoot some water at the dino's eyes so that it closes its eyes and can't see. Run to the edge of the island, and sprinkle the sand in front of you on top of the water. Since it's the sands of time, they slow down before they hit the water, so you can walk on the grains of sand. Continue spreading sand in front of you and walk away from the island.

 

You are stranded on a stereotypical tiny sand island with a palm tree and coconuts. You came here to escape society, so instead of 'escaping' back to society, you need to live a long fullfilled life. You have your gameboy advance, 2 shipping containers completely filled with AA batteries (you thought ahead somewhat), some games for it, a headlight, a soda can of off-brand mountain dew, a magnifying glass, 3 pet pidgeons, and the things on/around the island (palm tree, coconuts, sand, salt water)

I don't visit as often as I used to. If you want me to see something, make sure to quote a post of mine or ping me @jean-luc

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I put one of the games in the game boy, set it down and go open up one of the shipping containers but am then suddenly crushed to death by the thousands of pounds of batteries,i then float my soul over to the gameboy and live inside the world of the game.

 

you wake up one day with no idea who you are, no memories of a past life and your world resembles that of one of your favorite video games. how do you escape this fantasy and go back to the real world?

"October 1st 2014 8:00pm Central time US, unknowing innocent 4channer Mariothefatplumber known now as tulpamancer31 on these lovely  forums, has just stepped into a world of pure imagination and wonder,something that he maybe should have tried to understand a little bit better before jumping headfirst into, mario has crossed over into the tulpamancing zone, better known as section E,Subsection 14, and division 2 and a third, of the Twilight Zone."

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Because my favorite game is spore, I wait three billion years until I can invent a computer to take me to this world, because this world is in a computer.

 

Ken Ham exists. What do you do?

Your quantum scrublobster here to scrub you up.

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Ken Ham lives in denial.

Denile.

De nile.

Therefore, I simply leave him to the crocodiles.

 

Your friend points out to you that the mug you've been drinking your coffee out of for the past 5 years isn't a mug at all, but in fact a penguin. Those strange honking and squealing noises, the way the surface was often so slippery you could barely hold on, all those times you wondered why it wouldn't fit in the kitchen cabinet... it all makes sense now. How do you explain this unfortunate mix up to your friend without them questioning your sanity?

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  • 4 months later...

There is no mug Neo

 

How can you explain colors to a blind guy

My tulpa:

Name: Aiko

sex: female

statue: Not yet voiced

birthday: 11/11/2015 22h

main traits: Chatty, Cuddly, Curious, Nice and Happy

 

Nya =3

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Cut up the eyes of a recently dead person, cut up the blind eyes of the person and stick the working eyes into the sockets. Make sure to connect everything well. Now you don't even have to explain anything to him.

 

There is a dragon in a cave by the north side of the town you live in. He is friendly with the inhabitants, but he could never cut one of his scales off to give to aid research. How do you cut off a scale for science?

 

I'm not going to listen to you guys since you are all probably just talking to yourself and don't really have a tulpa like me.

 

 

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Grab a knife and cut one of the scales off.

 

You just accidentally shit yourself while playing fallout 4. You have your controller, PC, monitor, a microphone, posters, and a doorknob. Go back in time and prevent yourself from shitting yourself.

I don't visit as often as I used to. If you want me to see something, make sure to quote a post of mine or ping me @jean-luc

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I draw a clock on the doorknob which sets the base for my time travelling action. I search up how to time travel on the pc and look there, the most unexpected search, deep in the bowels of the internet give me the knowledge I need. I cut up the posters and set them on fire from the electric current from the controller, nearly electrocuting myself, but I set the house on fire. While it's burning, I stick the doorknob on the microphone and generate a bunch of sound energy which then collides with the heat generated from the fire, and with the program provided by the pc which materialized itself in real life it creates a ripple in the time space continuum allowing me to return 10 minutes in the past, barely escaping my burning house.

 

A sleeping Snorlax blocks your way! You could go back to whatever-its-name-is town and get the pokeflute, but your way too lazy for that. How do you move the Snorlax?

 

I'm not going to listen to you guys since you are all probably just talking to yourself and don't really have a tulpa like me.

 

 

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