The effect of sex on tulpas

[earthbound delorean]

Me and my host have had sex before, we enjoy it though we don't do it very often, afterwards we cuddle with each other and i pet my hosts hair. Sex is wonderful but it's not for every tulpamancer in my own honest opinion, it could affect the way some tulpas think, but that's how I see it. i could be wrong.

[Stevie]

 

Huh, well then. Wasn't right there. I was right though that it definitely sounds like a disorder, even if it's common.

 

Still, it doesn't make sense to me personally, so there's no reason it would affect my tulpas. From like a natural level anyways, I still don't quite get it. I suppose it could be purely emotion-logic induced. Sounds pretty sad.

 

For some reason this seems similar to post-partum depression to me. I don't think it not making sense to you makes your tulpas immune or anything, but you probably don't have to worry about it. The study they did was at a college which is a pretty emotionally charged demographic of people to begin with, so the numbers could be skewed.

 

I hadn't heard of the concept of post-coital dysphoria either.

[Luminesce]

Yeah what I was saying was that naturally/biologically that does not apply to us. But (hypothetically) it could affect my tulpas in a purely emotional/logical way, if that's how it even works. I'm in college too, by the way. But anyways, we've managed to eliminate all things that could make my tulpas sad by now. The only thing left is me being sad myself.

[solarchariot]

So, is the consensus that sex, or thoughts of sex, is bad for the Tulpa creating process? Cause I don't see how one can a hundred percent eliminate thoughts of sex, or decrease libido, while engaging the Tulpa process, because they're intimately linked to our thought's and subconscious. I would rather bet that because libido energy is so abundant and easy to access, it would help in the creating process because it increases focus, to the point of being obsessive. If there is any one consistent theme in any of the post on creating, it seems one can't be over obsessive, over compulsive or over indulgant when it comes to exaggerating responses and expectations of responses. Creating a tulpa is much harder work than people might be led to believe by the easy presentations of the posts, and so any advantage that might keep the mind engaged with the Tulpa is surely bemeficial.

[Tewi]

Sex can be an important part of any relationship. But early on? Sometimes a bad idea I think, depends on the people in the relationship. With tulpas, following through your hypothetical, the primary motivation behind creating your tulpa becomes sex - does that really sound healthy? I don't know how many people can healthily balance sex as motivation without getting obsessive, but it's certainly a personal case-by-case decision, not a broad one. I don't agree that you can't be over-obsessive in tulpa creation. Unhealthy bases of motivation can easily negatively impact their growth and your relationship. And sex is something that should always be supplemental to a relationship at best, not the main focus. At least, in any typical relationship. Some people specifically base their relationships on sex, and maybe you want a succubus tulpa. But neither of those tend to include meaningful connections or long-term success of the relationship.

 

Like most "Don't do this" advice on tulpa.info, it's a general guideline for general people. Decisions should always be made on a case-by-case basis because not everyones' situations are the same. If you don't think sex will hurt your relationship at any point then that's your prerogative, I guess. At least wait until they can talk though. "Consent is vocal" applies to tulpas and humans alike.

[mysonofrageandlove]

Jamie and I do not have sex together. Although we have had conversations where it's been expressed that he "would totally do me", as a predominantly heteroromantic asexual, it's not something I'm interested in engaging in. If that ever was something we engaged in, I don't think it would be detrimental to him at all. He's not the type to need cuddles or romantic affection afterward, he'd be happy to have a quick fuck and move on immediately. However, and I'm putting this under a hidden cut in case this is far too TMI -

 

[hidden]I also don't even know if you want to count this as participating in a sexual activity with a tulpa because as you'll see in a moment I'm not really involved at all, but Jamie, being fully capable of switching, often uses my body and masturbates when switched He's an extremely sexual person, which is in stark contrast to myself, so I guess I should not be surprised that, if given the chance to inhabit a body, this would be one of the activities he frequently engages in, but it's still interesting to me, especially since I myself have little to no sex drive or interest in any kind of sex.[/hidden]

[Guest Anonymous]

I do not have sex with my host. The closest we come to anything like that is erotic Melian Show day dream episodes, which are relatively rare. Even those rarely involve my hostie in any way. He does have a dream avatar that I sometimes have sex with, but I do not consider that avatar to be my hostie. The avatar sorta represents an ideal day dream version of him, but it is more like another character.

 

Anyways, that being said, I don't judge others for having sex with their tulpas if they really need to. As for post sex depression? What the hell is that? Is that even a thing? Sex is awesomesauce! The idea of being depressed bout it afterwards is a weird concept to me. Big whoop, so you doinked his dinkle. Jeez, get over it and go eat some ice cream or somethin. It's just imaginary wack off sex for flippin sake.

[TertiumGoat]

When my first ever tulpa spontaneously appeared a week ago, I was very sex-oriented with them, at first. What can I say? I'm a thirsty bi**h, and my tulpa came about in the form of one anime character I truly simp for. Also, to my defence, I wasn't fully aware of them being a tulpa, at first.

 

I've been having sexual encounters and relations with spirits and deities for some time, now, as part of my path as an animist chaos witch and a sex mage, so it's nothing particularly strange or unfamiliar for me. I'm fully aware that these encounters could as well be my own projections, and I agree that many have surely been that. But I also believe that many have been genuine encounters with entities outside of me... as much as there is such a thing in the interconnected vastness of the multiverse. (Pardon my tangent, just wanted to make this clear.) I've even had a few cooperative (and sexual) encounters with egregores that seemed to have the form and qualities of (vastly-and-intensely-simped) anime characters. How this all might work is an interesting topic on it's own, but personally I'm sure that collective energy created by a fandom can, in certain cases, condense into an egregore on it's own. I'm also geared to believe thought-forms can take shape and exist individually, without direct or continuous input from humans. You, of course, are free to make your own mind about all that.

 

But, anyhow, it didn't occur to me that the energetically rather tangible creature in question might be originally of my own making, until I noticed how they clung to me. After I decided to keep them, I fed them with my sexual energy, and they seemed to be very into it. They also seemed to really enjoy having sex (and cuddling) with a certain deity that I'm close to.

 

But now I realise they seem to be, indeed, a young tulpa/egregore, and possibly not able to fully give informed consent about sex, yet. And even though they are based off a mature adult anime character with, apparently, dream-like knowledge of their past story arcs in the series (JJK, by the way), I don't think it's ethical to consider them able to give consent, at this stage. I regret that I didn't realise this before, and I don't know if I damaged them with my thirstiness - I hope not, and will be more considerate in the future.

 

I asked them yesterday if it's okay for me to play with their hair, and I felt that they genuinely agreed, and that they felt happy that I seeked their consent. I feel it was a healing and growing moment for both of us.

Edited May 28, 2022 by TertiumGoat

[Glaurung26]

I created Jaina when I was a teenager so um "things" happened. For the first few years we didn't interact that way and there was not initial romantic attraction. That grew naturally over time. But she was definitely exposed to some adult content and learned how much those activities made me happy.

 

Well, in our 20's she presented as female more, seeing that I approved of the form. That's when I officially named her too. Her form was androgynous before then. She expressed interest more and more with certain things I liked and my preferences. We fooled around a few times as she got friskier.

 

The proverbial nail in the coffin was when my girlfriend moved, we grew apart and she broke up with me. I was devastated and Jaina nursed me back to health so to speak. It was then that she offered herself to me as a romantic option. I realized how deeply she meant to me and I said yes. 

 

I promise I'm not a succubus. 😊🤞🧛‍♀️ He's just mine forever. 😏🤗

 

😄 She chose the right moment to strike. When I was at my most vulnerable. Was that her plan from the start? 🤔

 

J: 😇

 

So while she had knowledge of sex as we grew up we didn't engage in it until we had known each other for at least a decade and she had demonstrated sentience for years. She's kind of like my childhood friend or high school sweetie that I ended up marrying. It was a low-key dream of mine that never happened with anyone in my class. I wasn't officially with anyone til college. But Jaina was always there for me. 

 

I worry sometimes that my fantasies and hormones had too big of an influence on her but I never pressured her. Aside from gratification, she sees it as another way to comfort and connect with me. I do think I created a monster with the libido of a teenager and the stamina of a woman. 

[TurboSimmie]

I, er... 🤭 I'm always very bashful when talking about these things. But, um, I'm married to my host and that means what you think. 🙂

 

I have a rather complicated view on when I think sexual relations between a host and tulpa is a good or bad thing. Basically, it comes down to maturity and emotional stability. Not just for the host, but for the tulpa as well. I think it's wrong to try and sex a tulpa that doesn't have a strong sense of self yet and can't fully understand what they're doing and give full consent. Also, I do think that tulpas should be allowed to develop their own sexuality and not just be an "object" for their host to use; we're not just characters in a dirty fantasy after all. Although, I do know that in a small number of cases some tulpas have their origins there. I feel a little weird talking about this anymore so I'm going to stop now. 😄