How to achieve consistency?

[TFLuke]

So. I've been forcing off-again, on-again for a few years, with very long breaks in between (so, more like giving up than taking breaks). I'm in the middle of another iteration, and I just can't break through. I do get occasional results, and I put in effort to keep S. in mind (hell, this time at my peak, I ended up narrating in my dreams). At our best, I'm pretty good at knowing what she does; not so much at visualization. We have some simple conversations, but I have to take the initiative.

 

Here's the problem, though. It's very inconsistent. I'd say I get the results if I force single-mindedly for a few days, but it's not sustainable - if nothing else, I just get exhausted. And if I stumble (for example, I was busy at work for a couple days and just don't have the energy to narrate or something, or maybe I wanted to be left alone for a while, or whatever), the forcing gets into some inconsistent state where... I'm not even sure how to describe it. Basically, it doesn't feel the same when I try to pick up where I left off. Not as enjoyable, too puppet-y, something like that. Then I dedicate my efforts into trying to get back at the level we had, gradually spiraling back to nothing. Occasionally, I have some breakthroughs and we resume the process; more often than not, I kind of wait for it the progress to tank completely and start from scratch.

 

For the last few days, I've been pretty busy, and since we've been on a decline anyway, the forcing deteriorated. Then I had another burst where I restored contact, and I was hoping we started another iteration, but then she started fading on the same day, and later told me something like "I gotta go do something", and went on a journey through my mind or something. Right now, she's busy with something and doesn't talk much if I ask how she's doing (which is completely unrelated to the fact that I'm slacking off. Sarcasm).

 

Honestly, this is pretty frustrating. I know people achieved more without forcing literally all the time. I just want to get to the point where I don't have to put in conscious effort just to keep the process going (not sure if that's even possible). Otherwise, I slip up eventually, and the whole thing starts again. Am I doing something wrong? How do I achieve consistent forcing?

[suhail Al ketbi]

I think the main key in tulpa stuff is madetation.

Deep madetation for an hour up to 3 hour .

Why I see it clearly now that is the main key .

Because tulpa has background in old indian and tibten

Buddhism.

And this religion do alot madetation and talked about tulpa in bardo realms.

So people have tips and guides here about forcing, but the main key is madetation.

[Butterologist]

It can be hard, there's no doubting that. To stay on a consistent path, whether there's progress or not is still difficult. It seems more about personal problems than about forcing, I suggest trying every method out there. Making a strict schedule, having fun, taking a small break for some alone time, everyday try something at least one thing new until you start forcing normally again.. Also, the more you involve them in your day-to-day life, the more intuitive and natural it will feel to have them there and eventually it will feel weird to not see them for X amount of time everyday. For me, I just needed to stick to a strict schedule for 3 days and it just felt like a natural routine after that.

[Starstruck]

I've been having this same problem lately. I'm taking this very involved chemistry course and it's very difficult to keep Lucy around throughout much of the day. Often when we resume our conversation it feels like we've regressed a bit, like what you were saying. The best way I've been fighting this is with presence imposition. I've been dedicating much of my brainpower to forcing her presence around me as much as I can throughout the day, simulating the feeling of a real person in close proximity. Then I'm able to locate her, and with my vague visualization skills and her own animated nature she's able to indicate that she's still present, and we can keep our groove going. But it's still difficult. I'd love to hear progress reports from you, and what techniques you've tried to what success. Good luck.

[Vos]

Stop taking long breaks, make a schedule that forces you to put in effort but also allows you to take breaks when you need to, set reminders that'll help you narrate/force - this is pretty simple stuff, but it helps out a lot. You don't need to force "literally all the time", but you're going to have to put in the effort to make a tulpa.

[Joss]

I think the main  key  in tulpa stuff is madetation.

Deep  madetation  for  an hour up  to 3 hour .

 

Yuck. Just thinking about sitting and meditating for an hour+ a day makes me break out in headspace hives.

 

For my system, we find the most success in doing something that's actually enjoyable. Our host writes our stories, or draws us, or plays RPGs where we direct the actions of her character, and has us starring in music video style vignettes to songs that fit our personalities. It's fun for her while still being constructive for us, and that removes a lot of the chore aspect from it.

 

(Because for some people, meditation is a chore. You're not going to make much progress if you're bored out of your mind.)

 

Also, the thing where you said she feels a bit puppety after taking a break? That sounds normal. See, building a headmate is like walking a trail in the woods. Your brain is treading the same path over and over again, and it will get easier each time as you wear in a trail. Soon it's a familiar road that you can walk without thinking about it. But... stop walking it for a while, and it starts getting overgrown. So you come back after six months and find parts of it destroyed by rain, while other parts have new plants growing in the trail. So, you have to start walking it again. YOu're not back to zero, but it's work to bring it back to where it was.

 

And that's what you're doing with your tulpa: you're building up synapses and connections, so that your brain comes to more and more accept the "presence" of the tulpa (whatever that actually involves). You just have to keep building it up. It will get easier, but it takes work and a lot of repetition to get it going.

 

So that's my long, rambly way of saying "Just keep working on it." This is a matter of time and repetition, plain and simple. Maybe look for ways to keep it fun by incorporating her into your other interests. Don't let yourself backslide... do something with her every day, even if it's as simple as just having her tell you what you should have for dinner. Make her an essential part of your daily routine, instead of an obligation. Your headmate is your companion and partner in crime... so stop thinking of it as "forcing" her and think of it as "spending time" with her. She'll grow on her own if you just keep putting in the time.

[TFLuke]

 

Make her an essential part of your daily routine, instead of an obligation

 

That's the problem, isn't it. On our worst days, that's exactly how it feels. Whatever attempts I make at forcing just feel half-assed and artificial. Maybe I should say I don't want a tulpa if I don't put in proper effort, but then why the hell do I keep trying? (And I'm kind of a lonely person, too.)

 

The contrary is also true - I'm pretty sure we have better (or any) progress when I enjoy the process (or maybe it's the other way around, I can't tell). I just can't figure out how to get back into that headspace when I fall out of it.

 

Another weird thing is that I kind of... don't know what to do with her on weekends, when I sit around in my apartment with nothing to do and dick around on the internet. We're absolutely not at the point to have an engaging conversation, and actually dicking around on the internet occupies my mind too much. The best time we have is when I walk to and from work, when there are no other distractions and no other things to do.

[tulpa001]

Walking to and from work should give you more than enough time to reach maintenance levels of forcing.

 

Here is an important point. It is indeed extremely important to force regularly. Important enough to abandon the ordinary notions of how to get things done. You can't just do it. You are too unreliable. And she needs to get forced no matter what.

 

So we fall into the strategic space of looking for ways to guarantee that they get forced. You don't matter. The forcing is more important than you. So let's look at this from an ego free, objective perspective. Our objective is to make us force, guaranteed. The easiest way to do this is by applying psychological manipulation schemes. Apply rewards to ourselves when we force, to stimulate the pleasure centre. Apply punishments to ourselves to trigger avoidant behaviour when we forget to force. Push through an unpleasant training session until you reach a high note to promote positive memories. Have your tulpa emotionally manipulate you into falling in love with them.

 

The second easiest way is to give up ultimate control over your life. The rule here is simple. Your tulpa makes the decisions. They decide when you force. They decide what you eat. They take responsibility for forcing sessions. Due to their greater investment into the process, this will guarantee consistent forcing. But you will be inherently unwilling to give up this control.

 

The third easiest way is to share activity with them. Sit back and have them do your work for you. This will slow you down. Their comments will be amateur at first. They will make mistakes. You will need to stop and make sure they are still engaged. Have them solve math puzzles, draw something, or solve another difficult problem. This will force them to "wake up" into the land of conscious thougt, at which point forcing should become way easier. Have them chat with your friends. This will force them to essentially force themselves as they work through what they should say.