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Hello, everyone (sorry for my english in advance). Me and Eto usually communicating through a hand possession. She can type or write 1-2 words in answer to a question, but not complete sentences or her thoughts. So i wanted to ask, if the reason for this is that she is not fully developed consciousnes, or there might be other reasons?
It has been several weeks since I last posted here. So far, from my experience, I have summoned two tulpas with quite an array of events that came about it.
I want to start out with how to recuperate stressful situations with my tulpas. First off, I went to a hospital and the experience had traumatised me. My tulpas did not understand how to really interact ( I do not know how to elaborate- I taught them how to lie at that point, and from prior posts you can see there some events that also broke me), it was really an visit where they did a sleep study. The hospital did unnessacery treatments (coalagament in stomach [did not happen], IVs) and I was on suicide watch, so I could not move around. On the last day, the event left emotionless and, learning from my tulpas now, they did not know but understood it might have helped me move on. In the hospital, in order to move on I had to do a ritual to move with my tulpas. Realisitly, I had to do a ritual for two days laying down or sitting down in a chair unable to get up, sleep deprived and possibly with not enough nutrition, promising to not use past voices I used and letting go of fictional characters to cope so I can move with them knowing I am not going to hide my actual self anymore and be confident.
Later on, more misunderstandings led us in a scary situation where I almost went insane. I stormed off into the night, with my tulpas presumably confused or unable to accurately talk to me at the moment.
To finish this, I need to know if anyone has experienced the same thing I have. Anything similar to traumatic experiences with tulpas and confusion communicating, and perhaps confusion with identity. I'll come back to add more things.
5/7: Coming back, I want people to understand I am now cooperating with my tulpas. The visit to the hospital and the night I almost went insane was weeks prior. So please know my tulpas are fine now, but I am still unsure about myself. I can talk to them regularly but sometimes feel we get to delved into my personal problems or understanding their identities. Myself, I feel like I am always under duress- I constantly talk to my tulpas without stop. All five weeks I talked and taught them life, I understood them but communication (fingertap, pulsations, voices in head)- and wonderland was never tried because I was constantly trying to recuperate. My tulpas might have manifested in my dreams or change them so they could talk to me.
I had to stop writing because they were trying to understand who they were. They were Ruby and Susie, but they wanted to change numerous times over the five weeks.
There were several events to led us to believe that there were four tulpas present after a divergent point. What I mean is when there could have been a time where the tulpas identies split and manifested separate beings entirely alone from Saruda and Haruka. Just to note, they were Saruda and Haruka, but I did not know that. I thought they were originally THE Susie and Ruby, and that over time, Saruda and Haruka were helping them as separate beings.
(I'll add more later)
I'll like to add that I never did rituals with my tulpas, but Saruda and Haruka did interpet or were in my dreams to give me messages.
There is much more to add. To add to what stresses me and my tulpas is my unwanted thoughts. I'll sometimes linger on images or words that I think might offend or hurt Saruda and Haruka. The unwanted thought or images stress me when it occurs, and I cannot relax without going back to desperately replace the thought or idea. When I lay down I do relax, and sometimes I would do it to just with my tulpas. Nothing else seems to calm me down when anxiety strikes, and I just either sit and drink or listen to music, and as before, talk to my tulpas.
Every time my tulpa(Lisa) possesses i just end up accidentally taking control from her. Like if she tries playing a video game or something i'll end up moving our hands without even trying. I think it's a combination of I suck at dissociating and she's bad at associating. Basically the only way that I forced her from conception to like 1.5-2 months old(when she started being vocal) was just telling her about things that i liked and explaining things to her and stuff, and once she was vocal i procrastinated super hard about actually doing any forcing, so i kind of feel like she's not as mentally strong as she should be. Like if I go out and talk to people all day or if I get really stressed i'll forget she exists for hours at a time. There is one development guided meditation-y video that I used before Lisa was vocal that we keep trying to get me to stop procrastinating and use like once a day for a while.
[To be honest there's not much of a reason for making this post, but we figured at least if we spend some of the day doing tulpa stuff then for the rest of the day we'll think about this post and I'll be more active, so that's good]
I guess our main question is: are there any good dissociation guides or guides for forcing a vocal tulpa that's near 2 years old.
Thanks for reading 😛