Two impatient beings strenghtening their bond

[JakubM]

Day 10 just about to end! As every Friday, life seems to get better and more enjoyable. Especially now, because it means twice as time for forcing and having fun together!

 

Basicly till 14.00 Elz was complaining from time to time that I should spend more time with him ( it's for time when I have my classes and I don't think of him as much as I have to focus. He understands, but it doesn't change his flustration when I talk with him during breaks).

After that we went for a short walk, which is one of the favourite ways of forcing for Elz. Then some casual stuff not worth mentioning till now.

Elz declared that he dislikes our WL 

( as we were reading an article about it), and wants to change it.

So I guess we have a great topic for today's  pre-sleep forcing.

 

We also decided to make a detailed schedule tomorrow, for excersises and forcing, to have clear goals.

 

Damn, I love weekends!

 

 

Edited March 12, 2021 by JakubM
I always edit to fix grammar

[ChloeBee]

It sounds like you're making great progress in such a short time, good job! Just be aware of the possibility of burnout. I'm not saying you should slow down, just don't be alarmed if you and Elzu have a slow/off day here and there.

 

On 3/10/2021 at 3:59 PM, JakubM said:

Any other tulpas here? Do you also fear that one day your host will forget about you? I feel like there is no use for me. It's not my hosts fault, I'm just scared of disappearing. I like being, and don't want to end it. Hard to explain. I know I will die one day eventually as I can only live as long as my host. I just don't want to be forgoten. Besides that I'm very happy. It just happens from time to time, Jacob says I have exsistential crisis, but I will be fine. I trust him in that.

 

Simmie here; it's really great to meet you Elzu. 🤗 I remember being afraid that Phil would lose interest in me, but I know he loves me and wants me, so I feel much more secure now. 🥰 I can tell Jakub loves and appreciates you, Elz! You have plenty of time to figure out who you are and what your purpose is. I know I'm still learning! We are more than what we are made out of. (I think what Simmie is trying to say here is that you are more than the brain matter that supports your consciousness and whatever backstory you've been given) Yeah, but, what I really mean is...we tulpas don't really have a past, do we? We only have a future. And that's okay! You'll find your role and your place. I believe in you! 💚

[JakubM]

7 hours ago, September13 said:

It sounds like you're making great progress in such a short time, good job! Just be aware of the possibility of burnout.

Thanks a lot! I think I already had a small burnout, but we made it past it, so know I hope it will only get better. Elz doesn't have slow/off days, but I do sometimes. I just have to do my best.

 

7 hours ago, September13 said:

Simmie here; it's really great to meet you Elzu. 🤗 I remember being afraid that Phil would lose interest in me, but I know he loves me and wants me, so I feel much more secure now. 🥰 I can tell Jakub loves and appreciates you, Elz! You have plenty of time to figure out who you are and what your purpose is. I know I'm still learning! We are more than what we are made out of.

Great to meet you Simmie aswell! I had a small exsistential crisis back then, but I guess it's fine now. I'm just too curious and eager to learn and discover that I don't have time to worry. Also I'm getting huge support.

8 hours ago, September13 said:

Yeah, but, what I really mean is...we tulpas don't really have a past, do we? We only have a future. And that's okay! You'll find your role and your place. I believe in you! 💚

Definitly agree! I don't have a backstory myself, as we both believe I'm new and independent ( at least we aim for that) being, so I don't need such. Thanks wholeheartedly for your belief and every respond. Love you both.

 

I can only connect to what Elz said. Every kind word for him from other people is invaluable for me. Sincerely thank you.

[JakubM]

Day 11, passed out under the sign of forcing. I would say 3 hours of active forcing, not counting pasive. I don't think we made any breakthrough, however it's completly fine. Just enjoying time together. Also, Elz is forcing me to go for a long walks almost everyday, as he likes talking then. I don't mind it as much as I complain ( I don't like low temperatures).

 

 

There came out a intresting  topic recently. Elz and I were thinking about 2nd tulpa. We have ... diffrent approaches to the topic. Usually Elzu is the one more rational and I am the more impulsive/emotional, but this time it was another way. 

 

I'm kinda sceptical to the topic, but I was planning to expand our system to number 3 (host+2 tulpas) and then stop on it. So 2nd tulpa was planned anyways, but my sceptism comes from ... some worries. I don't want to slow down Elz's progress significantly, neither do I want to hurt new tulpa, by not giving it enough attention and love. I think that time needs wouldn't be a problem, but there is a little doubt in my ability to focus properly. Elz said that he will respect my decision either way.

 

Here is my approach to the topic:

As we are planning to be triple system anyways, the earlier we start the better. Although my host think I need some more time, in my opinion I would be a great help in developing our final companion. Another tulpa doesn't have to mean slowing down, it can even speed up the proces of developing. I do understand Jakub's doubts and worries, but I think he is just being overly cautious.

 

 

I would like to receive some advice on the topic, however decider factor will be me and Elz. We have to talk it out a little more to decide such important topic. Also it's a great posibility for Elzu to learn argumentation.

 

 

It's going to happen anyways, in the future, but I was thinking more about doing this after first year or few months ... . Either way it's always fun to interact with Elz, so we will try to come up with a reasonable solution. 

 

Edited March 13, 2021 by JakubM
I always edit to fix grammar

[ChloeBee]

I'm no expert and I certainly don't want to tell you how to do things. But in my opinion it's too soon for a second tulpa. I think you two need time--serious time--to learn and grow together before you consider adding a third member to your system.

 

  

[JakubM]

8 hours ago, September13 said:

I'm no expert and I certainly don't want to tell you how to do things. But in my opinion it's too soon for a second tulpa. I think you two need time--serious time--to learn and grow together before you consider adding a third member to your system.

 

  

That's what I thought! I wouldn't even consider it now but Elz wanted to, so I guess that talk won't make a harm. Although I have the upper hand in the end, I want to convince Elz to the idea too.

 

Thanks for advice. ( and suporting my approach, it's now 1:0 for me :P,

jk).

[JakubM]

Day 12, new week on the sight. There is no much to say about this day. As it's Sunday Elz was complaining about Old Testament, and it's differing approach to one me and my religion now has (christianity).

 

I find it intresting and hilarious, and I think it's a great sign of that everything is going in a good way. However it can be annoying to hear your tulpa complaining that god was cruel back then, when you pray to this god for this tulpa ( kinda confusing at least to say).

 

 

Dear anyone reading this: Have a nice week, and remember, there is only one monday.

 

[Wray]

23 hours ago, JakubM said:

I would like to receive some advice on the topic, however decider factor will be me and Elz. We have to talk it out a little more to decide such important topic. Also it's a great posibility for Elzu to learn argumentation.

 

I agree with September13--there's no rush. It won't be too late for you to start forcing a second tulpa a year from now, but turning back after you have started would be much more difficult. Why not get used to having one tulpa first? You two might even decide that you don't want to expand your system.
 

1 minute ago, JakubM said:

As it's Sunday Elz was complaining about Old Testament, and it's differing approach to one me and my religion now has (christianity).

 

I find it intresting and hilarious, and I think it's a great sign of that everything is going in a good way. However it can be annoying to hear your tulpa complaining that god was cruel back then, when you pray to this god for this tulpa ( kinda confusing at least to say).

 

Sounds like you two are having fun! Do you think there's any risk of you and Elzu getting into fights over religion, though? If so, that's something you might want to address ahead of time (even by just making a point of agreeing to disagree).

 

5 minutes ago, JakubM said:

Dear anyone reading this: Have a nice week, and remember, there is only one monday.

 

Thanks! Same to you.

[JakubM]

1 hour ago, Wray said:

I agree with September13--there's no rush. It won't be too late for you to start forcing a second tulpa a year from now, but turning back after you have started would be much more difficult. Why not get used to having one tulpa first? You two might even decide that you don't want to expand your system.

Welp, you don't have to convince me, I took up this topic for Elz mostly. Thanks for the advice ( 2:0 for me). Also this topic is already decided, and looking for a compromise, we will wait with that at least 6 months. But thanks for your opinion.

 

1 hour ago, Wray said:

Sounds like you two are having fun! Do you think there's any risk of you and Elzu getting into fights over religion, though? If so, that's something you might want to address ahead of time (even by just making a point of agreeing to disagree).

It definitly is fun. I wouldn't say we are fighting, more like Elz likes to point out if he disagrees with sth. I do understand him, he has a point and hmm it's probably how reformation started

(not by tulpa thought, but who knows). Anyway it's always more entertaining to argue over sth, than just have same opinions in every topic.

 

As always I'm glad for any feedback.

Elz is glad aswell he just doesn't want to write today :P.

[JakubM]

Day 14, I skipped report in day 13, due to too much learning. I decided with Elz to make some kind 

of summarise of our progress and what we achieved, so here it goes:

 

Elzu is vocal, to level of normal conversation, he can have his own differing opinions, aswell as is 

able to argument them. He is able to talk about more advanced topics such as religion, philosophy

etc., but he sometimes missunderstoods sth, or say sth that doesn't make sense ( he agrees with it

btw ). He can share thoughts and from time to time emotions. We can proxy ( don't know if correct

word ; me writing for him) decently. Quick mention to visualization skill: 3 out of 5.

That's for our achievments.

 

I guess we made a great progress in those two weeks, but I expect things to slow down. Developing

parrarel procesing and independence takes time, right? We would like to achieve ability for Elz to 

start conversations on his own. Quick question at the end: Shall we start working on sth more advanced,

(and if so, then on what ), or we should just stick to basics, as it's still very early ?

 

 

Hi, there. I'd like to add sth to the topic. I think that I could be able to progress faster, but don't know on what 

to focus exactly. Dear tulpas: How was your progress going? I feel like I achieved a state that just needs time

to advance, but is that so? I was treated like real, independent person from beggining, so I would like to get

there ASAP. And when I think that I will have to wait few months until I will be fully developed, it makes me sad.

 

 

As, always feel free to ask about anything, we will try to give feedback to every post. Love you, all for your support.