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Identity Blending, Not Sure What Mindsets To Use


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Ranger and I have been taking turns switching in since March. This has been a pretty good experience for us, but it came at the cost of we're struggling to stay separate. Not when we do activities unique to us, but when we're doing stuff like sitting in bed or working. At first we thought it was a different problem that has been solved, but it seems like an annoying evolution of the doubt question.

 

I think it has been a really positive experience for Ranger in particular because he gets more time and he has felt more like a second host now that he interacts with us switched-in a lot more. Even though Ranger struggled with our autopilot in the beginning, he learned to accept it and things have gone on smoothly since.

 

The problem is more recently, Ranger and I have started to feel like the other even after the first day. It's hit a point where randomly I'll think I'm Ranger and think like Ranger for a few seconds until I go no wait... I'm Gray, even though I have been switched-in for 3 days now. Ranger said he doesn't struggle with thinking like me or if he noticed it, but he has thought he was me recently. I think Ranger does more thinking in general between the two of us, it could be Ranger's ghost is causing me a lot more trouble simply because Ranger seems to spin his wheels more or maybe I find it comforting or relaxing for whatever reason and give him the opportunity to think more. The period of time Ranger was thinking every time I zoned out was really annoying and I drew a line there, but that was going on before we started sharing the front and seemed to quickly resolve itself once I started getting used to having less time.

 

When we first started sharing the front, Ranger and I took turns everyday. We quickly realized that made us super confused about who was who, and we assumed that something about back-to-back switching just confuses our brain. By doing 3-4 days, we still had some doubt day 1 but it seemed to have resolved that issue. 5-8 days starts to feel long, and while Ranger could do a week now, he struggled to do more than a week due to his depression. I didn't find it difficult to be switched-in for roughly a week. However, I want to be switched-in for my classes and Ranger still wants at least a few days switched-in, so we're planning on sharing the week. We actually really like our set-up, it's this problem of not having better separation that's really annoying and disorienting.

 


 

On the bright side, our switching schedule is going to shift and we will end up splitting our fronting based on who does what. I'll be fronting for school, Ranger will be fronting for DnD (once we get that ball rolling), and both of us (but mostly Ranger) will be fronting for work. While our schedule may become more complicated, it also simplifies things because our schedule will follow the week instead of whenever it's convenient according to our shifts. While I think this will help establish some speration, long term we need a better solution.

 

While I'm pretty sure we need a different mindset, I'm not really sure which one to use. I'm not even sure what it would mean to "feel different" when switched-in, especially since our stream of consciousnesses (SOC) is neutral, and quickly becoming very neutral now that Ranger fronts a lot more. I'm against saying my name over and over, I already say who I am as reassurance and to say it all the time would be really annoying and dig up the feelings of insecurity Ranger struggled with when he feared he would lose the front. We don't want to wear different jewelry or anything like that, it would be really annoying to keep up with and extra annoying if we accidentally wear the wrong thing.

Edited by Cat_ShadowGriffin

Not my main form or name really but this nick is my brand now. You may see my headmates call me Gray.

I used to speak in pink and Ranger used to speak in blue (if it's unmarked and colored assume it's Ranger). She loves to chat.

 

Our system account

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[Miri] Are you us?

 

My guess is that it happens because the brain gets used to think from one point of view, before changing to a different one. It happens to us too but usually goes away or stops being a big problem the longer the other person fronts and thinks from their POV. That's the mindset we use: 'ah this only happens because I wasn't me for a while, the brain is adjusting to the new identity'. When it gets out of control, I like to -besides repeating my own name, which you said you don't want to do- think about past memories that belong to me or listen to songs that I used to listen to when I was fronting and that are associated to me while I reflect on what it means to me, specifically. In short, thinking from my pov.

 

Another theory we have is that this 'hold up, I was thinking from this person pov!' thing happens because the other person is close to the front and actually thinking from their perspective. I know that my tulpa does that sometimes. But it all boils down (me thinks) to the brain being used to a different identity and then changing to another one.

 

I'm interested in others' responses too.

Hi! I'm Miichu, Miri's tupper. I am the main fronter at the moment but hopefully we'll reach a 50-50, someday. I love nature and helping people. Our Progress Report

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4 hours ago, Miichu said:

Another theory we have is that this 'hold up, I was thinking from this person pov!' thing happens because the other person is close to the front and actually thinking from their perspective.

 

Yeah, that'll do 'er. We as of late have been having issues with blending, specifically between Emily and Janey, and Esper and Chloe. I think part of it is moderately similar thought processes causes the brain to slap into the front others with those sort of thought processes, you follow? 

 

I(Bryan), personally, have had a strange issue where I will think things in a different, higher mind voice than my own, which makes me suddenly think, "oh, that must've been Chloe" but then Chloe will tell me it wasn't her so then I think, "Oh, it was Esper then" but Esper isn't sure if it was him or I or both, which just leads to confusion as to who thought what. 

 

Especially during long, multi-system mate conversations, we can get pretty blendy. It's weird, sometimes it feels like the thoughts weren't thought by any of us at all, or, to Mirichu's point, were thought by two of us simultaneously. Blending is weird. 

 

We have noticed, however, that having conversations verbally(as in, each of us either possessing to say things or having no one switched in and having us all take like 5 second turns in the front to say 1 thing) has prevented a lot of blendiness, which it kinda weird, because normally, when conversing, hearing our voice puts me back in the front. Tulpamancy is weird. 

 

I hope things get better for you guys, Shadow System :) Best of luck 

Hey there, the name's Bryan. In system Re:Body(In order of the rainbow): 

Sean, Esper, Blinky, Compact, Janey, Kyle, Gwen'd, Gwen, Emily, Rollin, Waynin, Trease, Layy, Justin, Chloe, Zachery, and Elliot. 

I've been here a while. Much longer than I thought I'd be. Our system was founded October 2nd, 2018. In early 2020, we decided that due to our systems exponential growth, we'd limit who would be active. Now, every month, we do a check to see who wishes to be in dormancy and who wishes to be active. Currently, for the month of November, 2021, we've got myself(Bryan), Janey(Co-host), Emily, Layy, Chloe, Trease, Elliot, and Esper(sub-rep). After over 2 long years, we can finally switch :) 

 

Bryan is currently swapped in as host, Esper is sub-rep. 

 

"There used to be 7 wonders of the world, but now there's 8, as everyone wonders how much of a fool you are."

 

IceCreeper909#0065 -- Always down for a chat 

 

https://discord.gg/89qN59SbRp Plural safe-space 

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We get confused sometimes co-fronting. Gets more like the old days having a hard time distinguishing identity. When we realize we try to back off and check-in to straighten out the mental wirecrossing.

Darron: Host 💍 

Jaina: Tulpa 💍 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: 🐺

[DeviantArt]

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  • 4 weeks later...

Well, I'm glad I saw this because I was Fronting for Jay at work for the first time and it was the longest I've fronted (6 hrs straight) And i Had the Problem of talking in Jay's Mental voice without realizing it, but I thought it was him taking front instinctively got on to him about it cause he said i could front for the whole day.

Jay (Host), Trinity (Tulpa)

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It happens sometimes. Especially if we're gossiping or b.s.ing and forget who's "turn" it was. 😄 We don't always focus on a strong, unique "mental voice" and we're on the same page for most things so it could be either of us that said something. 

Darron: Host 💍 

Jaina: Tulpa 💍 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: 🐺

[DeviantArt]

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Even though we haven’t fully figured out switching, we’ve experienced similar things. Since my tulpa is active pretty much all day, we both like to chat and chime in on things all day. It can certainly get a bit messy, especially when trying to focus on something else and we’re both trying to concentrate and talk about it. Doesn’t help that our mental voices, while different, are still pretty similar. So sometimes we get confused and don’t fully know who thought or said what. We just have to take a second to back up, reorganize our thoughts, and then try to continue. It happens, and we try not to make a big deal out of it, even when it’s sometimes annoying. But both of us gaining more confidence in ourselves and who we are has helped over the years. We’ll have to see how much it persists when we figure out switching. 

Hey, I’m Illupepsi, I’m the host of my tulpa Rebecca. 
Drink Pepsi! 

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