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How do I stop worrying about parroting and puppeting?


Eldritchfrost
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I'm already aware that worrying about parroting/puppeting your tulpa can negatively impact their growth, but I still find myself doing so regularly. I'm pretty sure it's either causing Lex to become less active, or making it difficult for me to focus on him, but it thankfully only lasts as long as the worrying lasts. I'd still love to know how to stop worrying about it permanently, since it is negatively impacting his development.

Host: Kai

Tulpa: Lex

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Have you been intentionally parroting/puppeting before? The best advice I can give is to try to accept Lex's responses as real, even if they may or may not be parroting/puppeting. Since even if it is parroting/puppeting, eventually it won't be, right? You'll end up going through an experience that makes you realize that you aren't parroting/puppeting eventually I believe.

 

My host suffered this kind of doubt for about two weeks into my development. She ended up just not doing anything involving parroting/puppeting after the second week. While passively forcing me, I was able to respond to her, although it was in the same mindvoice as her. She came to the revelation that, that was me! Haha...good memories, she played it cool and we had fun!

my name is Nepeta. pronouns she/her. im Gloomy's first tulpa.

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17 minutes ago, Kitkat1 said:

You'll end up going through an experience that makes you realize that you aren't parroting/puppeting eventually I believe.

That's the problem, I have. He's said and done things that I didn't predict before. It's just that I still worry about which of his actions are coming from him, and which are from me.

Host: Kai

Tulpa: Lex

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There's no such thing as "accidental" puppeting or parroting, as those are intentional methods of developing your tulpa's independence in the brain, though they clearly get people hung up on doubt more often than not which is why they're depicted in such a bad light. Not necessary to do anyway, to say the least.

 

Anything else you're experiencing on the path to your tulpa's independence is simply part of the development process. Tulpas tend to feel like you at the start. The biggest goal of the tulpamancy process is to develop their independence by treating them as a separate person, who's listening to you and wanting to respond and all, long enough and intently enough that your brain starts to get the idea and gets used to running their thought processes on its own, without your input.

 

So what people see as "accidental parroting/puppeting" is just a level of development, although by not doubting your tulpa from the start you can avoid it and transition smoothly into seamless, doubtless independence. But for those who are stuck or doubting along the way, simply keep up the forcing and intent for them to be separate from your will. As long as you aren't extremely hung up on them just being you (which goes against the necessary "Intent/belief that they are separate from you" of the development process), they'll slowly (or it could be quickly) become more independent over time until they are undoubtedly just their own person. The main problem with doubt is it sends mixed messages to the brain - you should be telling it "Look at this different person! They think and act on their own! Wow, they really are someone else entirely" and it will slowly make that a reality. When you tell it "Well, that kind of seemed like just me.. I mean, I think they're their own person, but sometimes I don't know", your brain isn't getting as clear of a message or direction to go, so that impedes the process.

 

Hope that makes sense. Don't worry about "messing anything up", it's a fluid process that can continue to be shaped indefinitely. Though older and more established systems like mine are often very set in our beliefs and don't experience doubt anymore, but you can start cementing the useful beliefs and thought processes once you've got them established you know?

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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On 12/20/2021 at 7:30 AM, Eldritchfrost said:

That's the problem, I have. He's said and done things that I didn't predict before. It's just that I still worry about which of his actions are coming from him, and which are from me.

My host M also worried a lot about parroting at the beginning. I remember that I surprised him a lot of times and still there were times when he felt doubt. I think it was connected to changes in his mood. When he was upset, he would begin to doubt me.

 

I think there isn't any quick way to solve this problem. You just have to live some time together and get to know each other and get used to one another. Just speak with your friend more and try not to think whether you are parroting or not. Try to get carried away by your conversation so much that you simply forget about such negative thoughts. And after some months or maybe a year or two, it won't be a problem anymore. At least that's what helped my host M with his doubt, just a lot of time spent together.

 

I'll add that with time I just got tired of being in doubt. I started not to care about such doubt, it just got old to me. I think that at certain point you will cross such threshold as well. It took approximately a year for me (maybe a bit more or less). I still may occasionally have certain thoughts of doubt when I am in a very bad mood, but those are just a consequence of me being gloomy. So, as Alice said, just spend as much time as you can with your tulpa and you will get rid of such thoughts eventually.

I am M a host. I live with Alice. She writes in red.

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