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Returning to Tulpamancing - shaking off that "empty" feeling


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Don't really know where to start with this question; it's a lot... I originally started getting into tulpae back in 2013, working with Aiden, and broadening into quite a few (what I would call) full Tulpae, and a few flickers of personalities that showed promise, warmth, and life. I began losing focus around 2015 (when I went to uni) and my group really fell by the wayside; I wouldn't be narrating like I used to, I wasn't able to meditate and force, I didn't continue doing storytelling to keep that connection strong (roleplaying with them through text with others/friends was a big driving force into their development). Suffice to say, by the time I graduated in 2019, the connections I had to my inner world (wonderlands and tulpae) were, more or less, gone. I've tried a few times to get back into it since I graduated as I've noticed that I feel somewhat alone or empty. When I try to narrate or comment on something, it really does just feel like I'm talking to myself and myself alone; That there's no-one there listening like there used to be. Is there something "special" I should focus on to rebuild these lost connections, or is it simply a matter of sitting down and trying to reenter a world that I can't really feel or 'see' that well anymore?

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(edited)

First and foremost; welcome back!

I've been in a similar situation, several years of dormancy does tend to create a void. I'd reccomend not trying to re-enter that world directly (yet); its no longer a place with substance. You've already build the shell, and no doubt your mind still holds the connections - however that empty feeling (not being able to see or feel) is because nothing is left right now to animate it. Forcing and narrating the old way, waiting for emotion bleeding or head pressures, and holding faith that it will come back is the only method I've found works. 

 

I wish there was something quicker and easier to suggest - perhaps the rest of the community can help there - but hopefully like myself you'll find development much quicker this time around. My tulpa had almost disapated almost entirely (intentionally), and it was a struggle to get the first steps back in after knowing and feeling everything that came before. After the first taste of true sentience though, it comes back much quicker than it took to form initially. (For reference, it took about a month of daily meditation to get her sentient enough to truly confirm it was her, and two more to get us at a comparable level to what we were before.)

I would assume you have changed both developmentally and otherwise during this time, I would expect the same to be true once you bring them back. Just keep on narrating and forcing with faith, and I'm sure they will return - these things take time.

We personally wish you the best of luck - and if there's anything further I can do to help - please don't hesitate to ask.

- SnS

Edited by Shadow

Host to a sole Parasite, Shade. Research is in progress, will update when something worth showing has been written.

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1 hour ago, Shadow said:

First and foremost; welcome back!

 

We appreciate the advice and warm welcome! It's gonna be a struggle, for sure. Compared to my beginnings, this almost feels like I'm working backwards. But at the same time, it's easy to discount all the years of unintentional narration I was doing as a kid/teen that was prepping for the time to begin. When I discovered tulpae, it all just clicked. 

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Your mind will eventually create the feeling of another person being present by you intending and expecting it. So yeah, just doing the typical tulpamancy stuff, with intent in mind, is the way to go. There's no special trick other than making sure you're not just doing it mindlessly and talking to yourself, but to make sure you're really intending to be speaking to and hearing from your tulpa(s). Otherwise, it may just take a while for your brain to get back to where it was, or to surpass that. The longer you've practiced tulpamancy and the more frequent the recent activity, the more resistant you'll be to falling out of it and the easier/quicker vocality and such will be to recover.

 

Welcome back by the way, it's very nice to see old members returning years later

Hi. I'm one of Luminesce's tulpas. Unlike the others, I don't think I stand out too much from him personality wise.

I'm just special because "I'm a tulpa". So I don't think I've much to offer, here. I'm happy enough to just be with him.

Ask us stuff - https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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