Merging General Discussion

[Guest Anonymous]

You don't have to walk on eggshells when recognizing how adorable I am! Everyone will understand the need to say it again trust me. :-) Yeah sometimes our hosts need us to be assertive. I think part of our problem is that I have not been assertive often enough or soon enough.

[Temar]

Heh, yeah. We get blendy from time to time. Usually briefly and on accident, though. But hey, if you want to try out Gem Fusions, no harm in that. :)

 

We've experimented with fusion between other system members, including myself, with varying degrees of success.

As I predicted: It's very difficult for me to do it, since it's a fragile process at best and can be undone by the smallest of distractions.

It's also disorienting. At first you're not sure who you are, then memories/feelings start to come back and you realize you're two people... but also NOT two people.

I've mentioned my philosophy of contradiction before, and I feel certain that it is helping us achieve these fusions.

In fact, whenever I/we stop to question the fusion it immediately comes undone

(worth noting is that when the tulpas fuse without me, they can question it all they want and it doesn't seem to affect the process at all).

The successful attempts involving me have always been due to complete immersion into the feelings of the moment.

 

It might be that what's holding you, the host, back from fusing well is that there is still a distinction or dominance in your personality that your tulpas don't have, simply by virtue of you being the established fronter. Try learning to switch, to help bring their personalities into active consciousness. Once they've learned how to dominate the front of the system, they'll know how to stay up there with you without you overpowering them out of habit. Then, fusions that involve you might be easier to maintain.

[Tewi]

Before we found out about tulpas, sometimes we thought that with the positive/productive traits and mindsets we had, that some day we should "merge" back together with our host to try and combine all those traits and leave just one self-sufficient person. But Lumi was too afraid of being alone afterward. Reisen told him they'd always be together (seems she was the largest focus of this) and that she wouldn't actually be gone, just a part of him. But he wouldn't, and so she stayed this way. He'd been reading a lot of books and such on new age spirituality, the kinds that focus on "one-ness" and unconditional love. So it seemed like that was what he was supposed to do to improve himself, that it'd be for the best. But even if he did not feel lonely after the fact, he was too afraid of losing her to do it regardless. Which was no problem of course, so she stayed with him, and so did we.

 

We have zero interest in merging at this point. Even in the temporary sense you mentioned, it would be too uncomfortable. We've spent a lot of time working on separating our identities to be very independent of each other, and have had surprising success when examining thought processes while switched. I guess we've chosen to live separately together indefinitely. Because Lumi is too afraid to lose any of us. I don't blame him. I also feel like we'd lose a lot of our uniqueness, because we're all pretty different to be mixed into an in-between.

[Guest Anonymous]

Thanks everyone for your very interesting responses! There is no "like button" on Tulpa Info to let you know I have read them even if I don't respond in detail. So I am left with saying thanks now and then. :-)

[Solune]

Try learning to switch, to help bring their personalities into active consciousness. Once they've learned how to dominate the front of the system, they'll know how to stay up there with you without you overpowering them out of habit. Then, fusions that involve you might be easier to maintain.

 

I assumed that this would help me learn how to switch... never even occurred to me that it might be the other way around. But it makes complete sense.

Thank you for that insight, I'm so glad I made this thread =D

 

You don't have to walk on eggshells when recognizing how adorable I am! Everyone will understand the need to say it again trust me. :-) Yeah sometimes our hosts need us to be assertive. I think part of our problem is that I have not been assertive often enough or soon enough.

 

Luna: Preach it, sister. But for the record, there is also power in submission. And I hope you know I'll respect you no matter what the nature of your relationship is with Mistgod. I thought you were both beautiful when I met you, and neither of you has done anything to change that opinion. Sorry to get hugboxy, I know it's a bit off topic. I just can't help myself.

 

Before we found out about tulpas, sometimes we thought that with the positive/productive traits and mindsets we had, that some day we should "merge" back together with our host to try and combine all those traits and leave just one self-sufficient person.

 

We've considered this. Alice brought it up after she became more independent (which is ironic). I empathize with your host... it is terrifying for me to think about. But then again, we've discussed what I would do if they somehow disappeared. I think ultimately, I simply function better this way. We could fully integrate, but to what end? To grow as a person? What standard of growth are we measuring ourselves against? It all seems arbitrary to me. Much too arbitrary to make a huge life decision based on it.

No... I'm content with the way things are.

 

...and have had surprising success when examining thought processes while switched.

 

I've been so distracted/caught up in my writing that I've neglected imposition and possession.

For the longest time we had just written off switching altogether... but now I think we shouldn't have.

This thread has rekindled my ambition to deepen the connection between me and my system mates. We thank you for sharing.

[Guest Anonymous]

I'm so glad I made this thread =D

 

WE are too! :-)

[Vos]

There was something of a negative connotation when it came to merging back in the day, at least in some of the smaller channels, because people would report some pretty nasty, dramatic experiences after trying it. Merging sounds like it could be a pretty interesting experience, but it isn't something that I'm interested in trying out. I can't imagine being that close with another person, even coming from someone who's in a tulpa-host setup.

[Tewi]

Can you even imagine what it would be like if any of us merged with Lucilyn?

 

It goes without saying, but I'll note again this isn't remotely something we ever plan on doing. Admittedly I've got my own fear when it comes to this subject (perma-merging anyway?), that the resulting individual (it really would just be a better Lumi in our case) wouldn't be as capable as I am in taking care of themselves. Basically, I'm afraid I won't be able to help us. My only worry or, I'd go as far as to say attachment in this world, is the others' well being. If I'm not me and only me, I would worry for their safety.

 

There's probably something wrong with that somewhere, but I don't care.

[Solune]

I can't imagine being that close with another person, even coming from someone who's in a tulpa-host setup.

 

It's a religious thing for me. I believe that "we" (all life) are fragments of the same soul. I see individuality as a great tragedy (though I believe it is a necessary one).

Merging, melding, blending, fusion... to me, that's an infinitesimal glimpse of returning home. It's pure love and I crave it more than any vice.

When I, and our system, die we will return home only to be sent back out on another mission... until the war is over.

At that point we will be allowed to return home FOR GOOD. And all will be one <3

 

There's probably something wrong with that somewhere, but I don't care.

 

That's the spirit!

[Faemon]

I understand and appreciate that others may view this as elaborate self-deception, or may simply think we're doing something other than what we think we're doing.

I wouldn't appreciate this. If this is already too elaborate to be true, then how is it better to add another layer to say it's a deception of one's personal experiences, and you're really doing something else that only looks like what you've experienced, but can be explained by what must be elaborately labyrinthine logic that nobody can even check? That's like...Occam's paisley three-piece hologam parachute pantsuit. Logisticians are supposed to like Occam's Razor.

 

Feel free to post with any experiences and opinions you may have.

All I want to do is see them turn into a giant woman. A giant woman! Anyway, I'm curious if you did a proto-do? As in mulled over possible fusion results, and felt the most likely one to be proto-Ambi? Or was the process closer to: "You! And you! Do the do, do! Like on TV! Yay! Uh. Wh-What are you even..."? Interesting that you'd found it to be delicate, difficult, and disorientating, but from the outside it's more stable if effortful.

 

 

I've mentioned my philosophy of contradiction before, and I feel certain that it is helping us achieve these fusions. In fact, whenever I/we stop to question the fusion it immediately comes undone

Unfortunately, I'm unfamiliar with your contradiction philosophy. But did you try to...take a moment to think of just...flexibility, love, and trust? Take a moment, remind yourself to take a moment and find yourself?

 

We've read about there being a "dominant" and "submissive" mind during this process, but so far it seems to be pretty equally distributed (though we obviously need more experience before we can make a conclusion one way or the other). It might just be a subtle difference we haven't noticed yet. As I write this, I suspect that may be the case.

Is this working from meta on the pop culture source material? Like Lapis the domme with Malachite, except when watermelons are attacking? (That can't have been a spoiler, by the way, this has been a very strange show since episode one.) Because either way, I would have thought fusion more a natural result of being on the same wavelength, noticing that harmony, and keeping it up.

 

Mine are more prone to fission. One and I blended by accident one sleepy sleep paralysis morning and decided never to do that again. I say One, but this One has an alter-ego and they often present as the same person...? So I guess they've been doing fusion most of the time, but the way I met this One was "one who becomes two" not "two separate, let's see who happens when shmoosh".

 

There are two others who remain individual on their own, but I speculate on how much more comfortable I would be if we ever blended or switched. Would that be fusing with me?

 

I'm guessing this can all also be on a spectrum of, simply, influence. Some combinations/methods of influence can become identifiable as an entity...more than, or characteristically different than, the sum of the parts.