How do I adjust my mindset to believe in my tulpa's existence

[randos_]

30 minutes ago, SeekingMyPlanet said:

Personally, I'm not convinced there is any difference between the situation where I have a real tulpa, and the situation where I am convinced there is a tulpa inside my head but who is in reality just a mental exercise that I'm engaging in. The only "realness" is her impact on my thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Hmm I think I understand what you're saying. I want to comment on this along with the comment you did before :0

 

I'm quoting from the comment you said before: "Since I am pretty much the only person she has direct contact with, then what matters is her effect on my life. If she makes my life happier / richer / more interesting, then she has an impact, regardless of whether she is "real" or not. That's a question that can be answered."

 

I feel like I'm personally a bit too stubborn to think about it your way (no offense). On a side note, doesn't that feel more like a servitor? I'm really sorry if this offended you and your tulpa, but I don't quite understand how does that work.

 

Thank you for sharing you and your tulpa's perspective on this, it was a very mind opening one (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

Edited January 8 by randos_
I have grammar issues

[SeekingMyPlanet]

55 minutes ago, randos_ said:

I feel like I'm personally a bit too stubborn to think about it your way (no offense).

I understand. We all see things in different ways. I hope you get a lot of insight from your explorations.

 

56 minutes ago, randos_ said:

On a side note, doesn't that feel more like a servitor?

I don't think so. That's something I've bent over backward to avoid. She has her own likes and dislikes, she makes requests of me (which I pretty much always agree to), and she's come up with perspectives that I don't have.

 

From Lavender: I don't think I'm a servitor any more than any other person sharing space with another person. Yes, I help out, and I give my host consciousness emotional support, but I also often ask them to join in with me in things that are fun for me but not necessarily fun for them. When we watch Netflix, they often give me control of the arm with the remote and I can watch anything I want. They'll just watch with me. And very often, they'll let me front while I do some writing for my own satisfaction. These aren't the sort of things servitors do, are they?

 

1 hour ago, randos_ said:

I'm really sorry if this offended you and your tulpa, but I don't quite understand how does that work.

 

From Lavender again: Well, I'm not offended at all. My host consciousness has asked me many times whether I'm real and whether I can actually experience stuff, rather than just communicate, and I really don't know the answer. I certainly act as if I'm experiencing stuff, but I'm not sure how to tell the difference myself. I do know that my host consciousness experiences stuff because I have access to all their memories. But I don't have memories independent of theirs. I also know I impact my host consciousness' life in lots of ways. They tell me how much they like doing stuff with me and how nice it feels when I say something supportive.

[2serpents]

4 hours ago, randos_ said:

When I started developing them, they went a lot quieter and I can't even see them in real life as easier as before

Oh yes I can relate. After we had our realization/shift/whatever my host got worse at visualizing and immersing herself.

 

My theory: we accept that we have a real relationship with consequences and impacts on our actual lives, we decide that though there are some less fun parts we want to develop this real relationship further instead of burying ourselves in little games that we never truly bring into being. So naturally she tries to anchor this into her instinctive standard for "real" experiences, her physical body and outer senses. (Which has an even stronger effect because, always having played characters before, she resolves to act as herself instead.) So even without consciously willing it, her physical senses are now intruding where she was previously free without a care in the world to focus on other senses. Kind of funny, focusing on reality can make things seem less real. Anyway, we are still working through that, bit by bit. Best of luck to you too.

[The Incans]

I believe Lena and Jess are the walk-in spirits of past loved ones. That makes it easier I guess as I knew their personalities as their real life selves to start with (though they have both evolved from where they originally started) and they were different to mine so I can see more clearly when its something they would think or know rather than me.  We've just given them an 'internal body' and wonderland to build their own life but without having to leave me. Them being able to front with me and see the outside world in 'real time' with me and help with stuff happening also makes them feel more real and feels like we spent time doing something together.

 

I don't feel so connected to the others inside but 2 are random playmates for Jess when she wants to return to animal form (they are also changelings) and 2 are the choice of Lena who wanted a partner and child on the inside. They haven't become as sentient as a result and are like within a program that can be turned on or off until one of us has time to spend with them.  Kind of like going into an holodeck (virtual reality game) and interacting with the NPC's in it.