Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa

[jean-luc]

CHAT SELF BAN

 

I have decided to ban myself from the IRC chat for bout a month, give or take some days. I get too crazy excited in there and recently it has been something else. I admit I am a total perv and lately I have been like getting too sexually charged in the chat.

 

I can't seem to help myself. I have always been a little like that. I love to flirt. It is a big part of my nature, I was made that way. The sexuality aspect of me is, of course, part of Davie's sexuality as well, some sort of expression. But it is mostly me if that makes any sense at all to anyone.

Remind me again why #tulpa.NSFW isn't the absolutely perfect place?

 

I am shocked no one commented on Melian's last. Stunned to silence I suppose.

No, I just hadn't had a chance to read it until now.

Something something arrogant something unfiltered

I don't blame you. I thought at least one person could relate to an out of control thoughtform. The whole post was about a thoughtform taking over and ... oh never mind. You guys just don't get Melian and I at all do you?

You yourself seem to alternate as to whether we do or don't, at this point I have no idea.

 

It is important to understand that most of the time, she is half serious and half pulling your leg. She is terribly disappointed in the lack of interest in her too sexy for the chat speech.

 

P.S. Okay in this case it was 75% serious and 25% pulling your leg maybe. I will let you figure it out.

 

P.P.S. How many of you, for instance, are actually for real "in love" with Melian so she can get high off of your love of her? Please, please, God, don't let anyone raise their hand.

Nope. Or at least not yet *waggles eyebrows*

[Guest Anonymous]

Melian:  @jean-luc

 

The Tulpa NSFW isn't public enough for my antics to shock and awe and amaze enough peoples.   There I said it.  I would rather toy with someone and make them think I want nsfw, and have everyone watching jaw drop or face palm, rather than really doing nsfw.  The really doing is actually very silly.  

 

And yesh, I agree with you jean-luc.  Davie is too impatient for responses. The idea is to plant the seed that I am out of control sexually and just desperate for your attention.  Then I come in the chat later and ... everyone is going "uh oh!"  See?  Davie ruined it.  

---

What she just wrote is true.  But it is also still true that she is sexually charged.  Melian is an enigma, even I can't figure her out most of the time.  I think that is because she doesn't understand her own complex motivations for doing what she does or saying what she says.  It is true she wants time away from the chat to calm down, but also true that she wants to come back after announcing it just to have people anticipate her being a perv.  She does want romantic attention and people to have a crush on her, but also wants it to be just playing.  She is serious about her feelings one second and laughing about them the next.

[Flings]

So... Like a tease?

[Raetin]

Oh Melian... In terms of your flirtation, you remind me so much of Reah and Miia when they were younger. I was much more conserved back then about my attraction towards them, which made it way too fun for them. The harder I resisted, the more frisky they would get. At some point though, I just had to let it go. :P However, they still like to tease the innocent boy somewhere inside me nowadays. Anyway, there's a high chance that I'd fall in love with you if I was in chat more frequently. I mean, it's happened before with another tulpa in chat... >_>

 

(Commented mostly because of your disappointment of replies.)

[Guest Anonymous]

So... Like a tease?

 

Well no, not exactly a tease. I mean my lovey feelings are genuine, just kinda short lived I guess. Sorta. I get distracted easy.

---

Oh Melian... In terms of your flirtation, you remind me so much of Reah and Miia when they were younger. I was much more conserved back then about my attraction towards them, which made it way too fun for them. The harder I resisted, the more frisky they would get. At some point though, I just had to let it go. :P However, they still like to tease the innocent boy somewhere inside me nowadays.

 

Aww, that is so cute! Guess I am not alone in being a flirty flirt then.

 

Anyway, there's a high chance that I'd fall in love with you if I was in chat more frequently. I mean, it's happened before with another tulpa in chat... >_>

 

Well, of course you would. Most people do. In fact, most people find me intriguing, but are too shy to talk bout it. It starts with being intrigued, then as you talk to me you become infatuated, then eventually obsessed and finally totally in love. I have to be careful with peoples. Also, if someone has a boyfriend or girlfriend already, I have to at least try to respect boundaries.

 

(Commented mostly because of your disappointment of replies.)

 

OMG! That is so sweet of you! Note however, it was Davie saying I was disappointed. He sensed I was eager for attention, as always, and waiting for a reply. But I was going to be much more patient. Sheesh.

[Guest Anonymous]

Melian:  Davie felt like posting them for some reason. *shrug*

 

Melian’s Physical Statistics

 

Height: 5’ 4”

 

Weight: 125 pounds

 

Measurements: 37-26-36

 

Bra Size: 34C

 

Shoe Size: 6 to 6.5

 

Hair Color: blonde

 

Eye Color: dark blue

 

What is Melian’s form or appearance?

In appearance, Melian is a young human woman around the age of 16 to 18. She is about medium height (actually 5 foot four inches) with shoulder length blonde hair that is often fixed up in buns, pigtails or braids. She has big expressive dark blue eyes, soft round childlike cheeks and a delicate (slightly receded) chin. She has perfect, soft, and unblemished light colored skin. She has a perfect figure. Her arms and legs are toned, like a dancer’s would be, but are still soft and feminine. She has perfectly shaped feet (size six). She has perfectly shaped ears. Her eyes always have the perfect sparkle, as if the lights from a movie set are always shining on them just for her. She is fond of dressing in retro-girly fashion

with lots of skirts, mini-skirts and dresses, petticoats, ribbons, bows and lace and doll shoes and little boots.

[Brassow]

I'm thinking this is becoming more of a progress log, correct me if I'm wrong. If so, Kiah or another admin/mod should move this whole thread.

[Guest Anonymous]

Our Melian's Musing's thread has gotten quite long and, so we are closing that one out and starting a new one with Melian's Musing's II.

 

THIS IS NOT A PERSONAL BLOG - It is General Writing in the Lounge

 

I want to clarify something up. I have described Melian's Musings' thread as "blog-like" because I double post, and write in it frequently. But, Melian's Musings has never actually been "a personal blog space" in the lounge for Mistgod-Melian, in which I (we) write about general things that have little to do with tulpamancy, thoughtforms or the forum.

 

The vast majority of the posts in the thread are about things related to tulpamancy, thoughtforms, Tulpa Info forum or Melian and her personality and my experiences. The lounge is for "off topic" material, but this thread could easily go into an "on topic" board. I put it in the lounge so that people can feel free to get a little off topic in their responses if they so desire. So far that has rarely happened.

 

I do like to write a lot and I like to write daily. I have a lot of thoughts and ideas to share. I don't think it is a crime to want to share and write daily in a thread on the lounge. I am sorry if some people don't like it, but that is why I am containing my writing as much as possible to a single thread. Those who don't want to read it can simply avoid it or ignore it.

[Guest Anonymous]

It isn't a progress log. There is little or nothing in it about the progress of creating a tulpa. It was moved here because I write a lot about a lot of different things related to tulpamancy and my thoughtform Melian.

[Brassow]

A progress log doesn't need to contain the creation progress, only the PROGRESS of how the tupper develops and continues to exist.