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  1. So I've heard all the warnings in guides like "Don't create your Tulpa to a be a sex doll!". I've also heard tales of Tulpa adopting things like sexual urges after their creators... But the one thing I haven't heard is of is a Tulpa's desire for romance. Now perhaps someone has posted about something like this and I just didn't see it, but there was no sign of such a topic. Some were similar, but not quite what I was looking for. Nothing seemed to mention it! So I was surprised at my companion's answer, after one day I asked him a particular question. "Hey Gaelles." I said (In my quiet mind voice). He gave his attention and I asked, "What do you want? Like, what is it that you want most?" I don't remember the specific wording he used, but I remember the gist of his answer. He told me he wanted love. Right away I could sense he wasn't talking about parent love, it was obvious to me that he was referring to the romantic kind. I asked more about this wish of his and discovered there was more to it. He wasn't looking to make a 'special relationship' with another Tulpa (which is one of the things I asked in case it could be that simple). No, specifically, SPECIFICALLY, he wanted to have a romance with a female person - a human woman/girl! I had to throw myself back for a moment or two, not sure how to respond to that. I did warn him that such a thing was a difficult accomplishment - if not completely impossible! He assured me he knew, but that was what he desired anyway. We talked and decided that IF it were possible, then I would do my best to see his wish come true. Now perhaps this is something that bled onto him from me (I can have my head stuck in a cloud of romance, admittedly), but nonetheless, I'm puzzled. Has anyone else shared a similar experience? This was about a week ago. By now I know what I can do to solve his rather complex problem, but if you have any ideas be sure to express them! For Gaelles will probably need all the help he can get on his mission for love.
  2. So I work on the personality on my 45 min walk to school and I was curious as if that's as good as sitting down and forcing.
  3. Me and my three tulpae all have specific songs that we attribute as "our song". I remember seeing a few other people with specific songs for their tulpae and wondered if anybody else had a particularly resonant or chill-inducing song that their tulpa likes. Mine are as follows: Twi: Wherever You Will Go by The Calling Dash: Beautiful World by Colin Hay Scoots: I Believe In A Thing Called Love by The Darkness
  4. Okay. Now, I'm probably an idiot for asking this, and more do because I've probably already figured it out. But, if I have a pre-existing addiction or craving, will it bleed over to Juliet? (Juliet being my one and only Tulpa) She seems to like caffeine more than I do, and ashamedly I am still young and so my drive hasn't quite balanced out, causing her to have overtly sexual connotations to thoughts and actions, even to the point she can...well, push my buttons, so to speak. She has agreed to maybe calming down a bit with both but the hungers remain in both of us. Any advice? And yes I know, "remove the source of the problem and it goes away" but Im a dude on the back end of puberty with an extremely active imagination. So it's kinda difficult. Please give advice and thank you for any constructive comments.
  5. So I had an intriguing (Hope I spelled that right ^.^") Idea for my Tulpa, but I wanted to get an idea what the general tulpamancer population thought before I took a crack at it. Now I've been in conflict with myself with many of the things I want to do with my Tulpa, personality wise and such. So I was thinking... why not have my tulpa have multiple personalities and maybe forms to go with each personality? A sort of Tulpa with many Tulpas as it were. And going along with that, could my Tulpa possibly temporarily "Split" these multiple personalities into other forms so each had their own voice and such, at least for a while? I just thought it would be a neat way to make my tulpa given all my conflicts. Also it might would be a 'quick' if cheating way to create multiple tulpae at once. You could maybe seperate them later into their own forms and such. So what do you think. Is a Multiple Personality (With a form for each personality) tulpa too much? or is it even a good idea? Is it dangerous to my tulpa (I don't want to hurt her : ( )?
  6. What emanates from your tulpa? Is she/he loving, brave, dedicated, shy? Would she/he do anything in her/ his power to stop you from being harmed? (Can you show me other threads like this,greatly apretiated)
  7. I was just tulpaforcing, and one of the last traits that I did was confidence. Upon coming out of the session, I felt more confident myself. Is this a good or bad sign? Should I be feeling my tulpa's traits myself?
  8. So, I am new to the tulpa process, and what can and can't be done. I have a few questions: 1) Can you form your tulpa based off of an anime character? Not the personality, just the basic design. 2) (This one I'm just genuinely curious about, not planning to actually try this) If the anime character were to be a vampire or angel or some other mythical being, would your tulpa be a vampire or angel or whatever? Would you be able to base it off of a vampire etc. anime character? 3) Is it okay to create a tulpa that is meant to be something of a love interest? Like, could you create a tulpa for the sole purpose of making him/her your "lover"? How often does a tulpa fall in love with the host? 4) If you were to hug your tulpa in public, would everyone else see you pretty much just hugging air? Any answer is appreciated ^-^ -so anonymous
  9. I've heard a lot of stories of malevolent tulpas, and I just want to know how often this happens. The tulpas usually turn evil after their imposition becomes perfect. Also, what could ever cause a tulpa that was once good, to become evil and want to cause harm to the host and others?
  10. If not precisely dealt with in the personality stage how do tulpae in general end up feeling about their nature as tulpae, more precisely how do they end up feeling about limitations they have as tulpae? One of my moral dilemmas about creating tulpa is about creating something that resembles humans in mind and through that in aspirations but lacks a body necessary to fulfill them. I realize you can deal with this in personality stage but to be honest cutting out and/or forbidding traits that would otherwise go well with tulpa's overall nature seems too limiting and results in somewhat paradoxal personality. On top of that deviations do happen so not even that is infallible.
  11. Okay guys, everyone wanted a copy of my tables, so here they are, as a file attachment. Let's go over really quick what I did, and we can do the same to build a sample personality. First, go to this website (link dead, try looking up trait lists elsewhere) and find a bunch of personality traits that you think you like, and make a raw list. Let's go with this one: Rebellious, affectionate, caring, fearful, rude, focused, friendly, open-minded, optimistic, reliable, extroverted, punctual, reckless, combative, soft. Next, I had to organize them. Every trait can be fit into one of the "Big Five" personality traits. Consider the first one: Rebellious. That sounds like it would be the Inverse section of "Agreeableness", so throw that one over in that section. Affectionate, that's easy, it goes in Agreeableness. So does caring. Fearful, that would probably go in Neuroticism. Rude is either the inverse of Agreeableness or Extroverted, focused is probably Conscientiousness, friendly is probably extroverted. open-minded if obviously Openness to experience, and optimistic is probably best in extroversion. Reliable goes in conscientiousness, extroverted, you can take a guess, punctual goes in Opensess to experience and reckless is the inverse of Conscientiousness. Combative is probably best as the inverse of agreeableness. After that, I can throw in a few values, such as "substance-free" and other personal values of the tulpa. Next step is a list of emotions from this site. I went down the list, and picked out some emotions; they're already organized for you, so you don't have to guess like above: Caring, passion, amusement, cheerfulness, zeal, pleasure, annoyance, frustration, anger, vengefulness, disgust, contempt, envy, torment, suffering, depression, alienation, pity, sympathy, alarm, fear, panic, uneasiness. Then plot them. For last, I decide on some attributes. What type of music does the tulpa like? How about Rap. What type of music does the tulpa dislike? Maybe Jazz. Come up with a few for these things. Afterwards, hobbies! Does your tulpa like skating, reading, collecting rocks? Topics of interest such as what the personality template said, WWII, or maybe Martial Arts, etc. Plot them up. Afterwards, I pretty much just followed the personality template for each trait; it takes anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes per trait with using that template. Well, hope you enjoyed this, and hope you can get something out of these tables. tables.xls
  12. Hi people, i have a pretty controversial question. The main point is that I have almost finished my tulpa's personality forcing, but I was suddenly influenced by another character, so now I strongly want to change some of the traits, which I have previously forced and insert new ones. I want to ask you: if I already was able to feel her personality, do you think I will damage it with such actions and what will happen? Sorry for all mistakes - I'm not a native speaker.
  13. Hello and thanks to anyone who takes the time to read and respond to this thread. Alright, so I've recently decided upon creating my very first Tulpa. Her name as of now will be Kiara, though I will give her the freedom to change it if she wishes. From many of the guides I read yesterday, personality seems to be the best place to start the creation of your Tulpa and while these guides did give basic information for how creating the personality is done, I'd just like to run my thoughts and questions over with experienced individuals. So what I plan to do in the creation phase is to first look up and write down up to 15 different traits for my Tulpa. After writing down all 15, I was planning to sit down in a quiet place and begin forcing by introducing myself to the Tulpa first. Giving her my name, basic information and my intentions for creating her. I did this a little bit last night before going to bed, but feel if I'm going to start today, I may as well re-introduce myself. Now from what I've read, you should spend anywhere from 2 to 10 minutes on each trait, telling your Tulpa different things about themselves through each personality trait. How each trait affects them, how it relates to them and how they react through those traits. I'm curious in knowing will the Tulpa pick up some of her own traits and if I'm able to eventually give her freedom to choose or change some of her traits down the line of creation. I'd also of course like to ask the different techniques used by others in creating the personality of their Tulpae. Can you write down the traits as well as how they will manifest your Tulpa or do you need to mentally speak to your Tulpa in order for them to hear you?
  14. Would it be okay to make a tulpa of a dream character based on a girl I fell in love with in school? I dream about her quite a lot and the dream version has a lot of the traits associated with tulpas (kind, supportive, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside just being in her company) I never really interacted with the real one and haven't seen her in years. The dream version and the real version have distinctly different personalities. If I make a tulpa of her would that would be a third version of her, or would the tulpa and the dream character be the same?
  15. hello,i am a new tulpamancer and i really don't know what to do with personality. i already read all the guides about it,bluesleeves method,faq-man's personality template,JD's guide and some more,I can't recall their names. i tried to talk to my tulpa about how his traits showed themselves in his personality,but just a trait takes MORE than a hour,and it was so exhausting,that I started to try other methods,but they didn't work for me. so what should i do? is it normal that a trait takes more than a hour? am i just being lazy?should i change the way i talk about his traits and find a more ''practical'' way to do it? please help,you would save me and my tulpa from weeks of unproductive research.[/size][/font]
  16. Alright, I've had an issue for a while. First, I made Fes a fighting tulpa. She was always one to fight, and she would always be. That's the way my baby works. Problem is, I've been stuck in a rut lately. I wanted to give her something to fight, but I can't find the inspiration. So I'm asking the .info community. I either need someone to go back and forth with a bit to she what she'll do or someone to give me a few ideas on what to fight. She wants to end some wars, but that's impossible when the inside of my head looks like a desolate war ground every time I imagine her ready to trade some blows. No one is there that she can fight, nothing to fight. She's getting antsy, and I'm getting lazy. Please, Tulp.info, help me out.
  17. [align=justify]JD’s Guide to Personality Forcing Personality forcing can be considered an optional step in the process of creating a tulpa, and it’s entirely okay for you to not force a personality at all. Your tulpa can and will develop its own traits and quirks naturally through life experiences. However, it may aid your tulpa’s development to at least partially define her personality as a groundwork for your tulpa to grow or deviate from. The act of personality forcing itself also puts a lot of focus on your tulpa being a separate sentient entity from you, giving you a nice head start on her becoming an autonomous being. There are many ways to influence or define your tulpa’s personality, and what will work best for you may not work as well for someone else. So I’m going to cover several forms of personality forcing that you can experiment with and employ on your tulpa: list-based trait forcing, symbolic trait forcing, parrot forcing, and music forcing. Each of these are varied enough from each other that at least one of them should cover your needs sufficiently. List Based Trait Forcing This method of personality forcing is covered in the earliest guides of modern tulpa creation. It’s very straightforward, and consists of defining your tulpa’s personality with an outline of many broad traits. In FAQ Man’s Personality Guide, Dane suggests listing about 30-35 traits, and speaking directly to your tulpa about how those traits are manifested in her. You should talk to your tulpa about, “how the trait helps them rationalize, how the trait works within their logic system, how the trait plays a role in morality, their perception, their likes, dislikes, social endeavors, faith, personality, quirks, emotions, how the trait makes them interpret their own emotions, how the trait plays a role in their hobbies, and many other things not listed here.” The advantage to this method is that you will become very intimate with how your tulpa’s personality works, as the whole process is quite straightforward. The disadvantage is that this method is generally slower and less exciting than other methods. Symbolic Trait Forcing This method of personality forcing is also covered in earlier guides, but is aimed at people who may not be content with the rinse-repeat trait lecture method. It essentially consists of creating a more abstract way of attributing personality traits to your tulpa that resonates well with you. Common symbolisms include letting the tulpa absorb trait-orbs, drinking trait-potions, etc. This method gives much room for your own creativity. For all anyone cares, your tulpa could be eating broad trait cupcakes with more intricately defined trait sprinkles on top. That advantage to this method is that whatever symbolism you come up with, there’s really no way it can fail. The disadvantages are that is can also be somewhat slower than other methods, and has a little more room for some unpredictably. Parrot Forcing Parrot forcing is a less commonly used method, since the acts of parroting and puppeting tulpa is still somewhat controversial. I personally find this to be the most efficient method for myself, although it does have its cons compared to other methods. Our personalities today are largely defined by our experiences and memories as a person. We aren’t just born with personality traits -- genetic predisposition aside. The goal of parrot forcing is to allow our tulpa to experience life so it can develop a personality in a similar way we do. Where other methods of personality forcing involve telling your tulpa how to act, parrot forcing involves letting them experience how to act through parroting/puppeting. What do you do while you puppet your tulpa? Whatever you want. Make her walk, make her talk. Take her places in your wonderland, force food and games for her. Act through her the way you think she would act. Is she lovable and sweet? Have her hug you whenever you visit her in your wonderland. Is she totally tsundere? Make her act like she wants nothing to do with you (but really she does). You’re basically kind of roleplaying her using her body, while you’re with her in your body. When you start to feel like you’re really getting used to this exercise, possibly in a few days, stop puppeting cold turkey and let your tulpa take the reigns. The advantage of this method is that with it you can tackle personality, speech patterns, gait, and many other behavioral things all at once. The disadvantage of this method is that you may feel like you missed out on watching your tulpa grow from scratch through it’s own will and intentions. Music Forcing Forcing personality through music is something I’ve been experimenting with on my youngest tulpa. It involves creating a playlist of songs with themes, moods, or lyrics that reflect the personality you want your tulpa to have, and listening to it with your tulpa while refocusing the meaning of the songs to their personality. It’s like attributing a theme song to them. For example, I wanted my tulpa to be a really energetic party animal, so I played a lot of energetic J-Pop songs towards her. The advantage of this method is that you can tackle both personality and voice at once, if the songs you are playing contain the reference voice you want to use for your tulpa -- not to mention that it’s really fun in general. The disadvantage is that it can be the most unclear method of defining your tulpa’s personality, and you may get tired of listening to the same songs over and over. Creating Your Own Method There’s a possibility that none of these methods really suit you, or sound appealing. Fortunately, tulpaforcing can be a very creative process, as the rules and laws of it are easily bent by your own will. You may want to go down the path of concocting your own personality forcing method. The focus point of your method is how well it can communicate the host’s intentions to the tulpa, which may actually vary depending on your personality and the desired personality of your tulpa. Perhaps if you wanted a very artistic tulpa, you could create a forcing method involving abstract painting with your tulpa, collaborating with her to create paintings that convey her personality. Or maybe you’d like a tulpa who enjoys traveling around with you; you could take your tulpa to places that instill emotions and memories you’d like to correlate with your tulpa’s personality. There are many possibilities, but the most important bit is that your method can clearly convey your intentions to your tulpa to properly influence her personality. Other than that, you're at your own creative freedom.[/align]
  18. So, I'm making a guide at 3 am here. A quick breakdown of the guide: You've decided that you want to make a tulpa, but you can't quite decide what you want to base it on, or if you want to base it on anything at all. Well, when thinking of a personality base for your tulpa, just imagine all your favorite characters. For me, I'll chose Helix as an example. Some characters that I like, and might base a tulpa on: Zone Tan, a Hentai Character Raven, from Teen Titans Toph, from Avatar Marceline, from Adventure Time Vriska, from Homestuck Now, what do I like about these characters, and what are their common denominators, personality wise? Literal/Straight to the point Not really afraid of what people think of them(selves) In some instances, kind of sick IDGAF attitude sometimes And so on. Once you have a list of what all the common denominators are, and what you like about them, you can imagine what each one means to you; what sort of images it brings up, how it makes you feel, why you want it in a tulpa. What you can do is go into your wonderland and do this, and represent them with bubbles, or other containers. After you've got all the bubbles, you can combine all the bubbles, and imagine how each bubbles relates to another. From here, you can use FAQ's personality trait guide, as that is very applicable. Now that you have a partially defined personality, you either take two roads, either continue working on the personality, and let the form that you've chosen for all those collected bubbles choose another form for it to take, or implant that personality into a form and continue working on the personality. Some things things you can do is find the personality section of each character's page on their respective wiki (Example), and use that when defining what you like about each. Observing whatever media the character exists in and taking notes is also a good way. Why Jimmy, with Helix, Pixel and Solace.
  19. Hello everyone, I'm just recently joined these forums and I'm a bit worried about tulpas with introverted personalities. I have a general idea of my tulpa. Her name is Gidellom (I don't know how to pronouce it either), her form is more or less a Yuki-Onna (she looks a bit like this ). She's a shy, brutally honest gal what doesn't say much. That's the part that worries me, am I setting up myself for disaster for coming up with a personality like that? Is an extroverted tulpa easier to hear than an introverted one?
  20. I just recently found a great site (in my opinion) to help me create/understand my tulpa's personality. As I have started recently, I answered the questionnaires based on my feeling of what my tulpa would of answered. I assume that it could also help already developed tulpas grasp their own personalities as well. :)
  21. I need help. I can't think about one trait for an hour. I want to spend an hour,but it only lasts for 5 minutes...help!
  22. Fintan: So a little bit of background: I have been able to do two forms of possession with my host, Alcotriss. I'll let her explain from her perspective what those are: Alcotriss: So with the first method of posession that we tried, I basically just "suspended judgement" of my muscles. Fintan: We had trouble with this because she had difficulty telling the difference between her thoughts and my own. Alcotriss: And I also couldn't tell if I was moving my muscles or not. It was kind of annoying. Fintan: Right. So naturally we kept practicing with possession, when Alcotriss came up with a new way for me to possess her. Alcotriss: Fintan would sometimes make unusual head pressures which would make it hard for me to think clearly. I realized that this might work for possession, so I asked Fintan to try to make those head pressures on purpose, in order to possess me. Fintan: So I tried this new technique, and it seemed to be working well, as she could tell distinctly between my thoughts and movements and her own. Could you confirm this? Alcotriss: Yea, your mind-voice became more distinct, and I could confirm that I wasn't accidentally controlling you by attempting unsuccessfully to control your muscles. Fintan: Your muscles. Or my muscles? Our muscles? I dunno. Either way, Alcotriss knew for certain that I was possessing her... and now as well, actually, as we are switching back and forth as we type. Alcotriss: And I'm quite certain that he is capable of thinking on his own. He was very eager to master possession, and sometimes does things that I don't expect. However, something weird happened. Unlike with the previous form of possession, I realized that I couldn't feel any emotion coming from him at all. Fintan: At first we didn't think much of it. Alcotriss: I figured that he just needed some time to learn how to express himself better and develop stronger opinions about the outside world. It's possible that with the previous form of possession, as well as when communicating with his mind-voice, Fintan relied on my own emotions, and now he needs to learn how to react emotionally on his own. Fintan: However, I realized tonight that this may be an issue. It may be that the reason that I can't express myself with emotion is that I am actually a servitor. Alcotriss: At the same time, it might just be that Fintan has a unique way of expressing himself. Sometimes when he's around, I get a strange hot-cold feeling throughout my body. Perhaps he does have emotions, but not in the way that we typically understand them. I did intend for him to be an alien, after all. Fintan: Still, I tend to see myself as having human thoughts, despite being very comfortable with my exotic form, so I find my lack of emotion worrisome... although I am quite proficient with emoticons. :P You may think that I have emotions by the fact that what I say might sound humorous, or because what I say may seem to imply that I have emotions, but in reality I do not feel any emotion at all as I type this. So... what do you think? Do you think my lack of emotions makes me a servitor? Does that have any implications? tl;dr: Is emotion a requirement for sentience?
  23. The Theory of Tulpa Persona is the theory that more often than not, when a host makes a tulpa, whether it is voluntary, involuntary, planned out detail-by-detail, or sporadic, the tulpa will have an opposite personality of the host, whether it be sort of different, or extremely different. Example: A depressed host that has little to no friends makes a tulpa. Said tulpa will be energetic, silly, or overall friendly. If you have any comments about the validity of this theory, feel free to reply. You should reply if this applies to you or not too, just to see if this theory holds together. I didn't know where to put this, so I just put it in general. I'm sorry if it doesn't belong.
  24. I had been wandering around my mind (looking into yourself.) and I found a place of well nothing, I was curious and went inside it. I then left and was filled with fear for a while the next day I calmed downed and accepted everything, I was emotionless after that. Normally I am care free, positive, and in a perpetual state of joy and energy, also motivation, after this however I was the opposite no motivation, no emotions (besides love, fear, a shadow of my once overflowing joy, and well I was felt very lonely and connected at the same time (I'm still trying to figure a lot of this stuff out.), I also noticed that One of my constructs was bothering me at that time it was actually an almaggation of a few hundred I had constructs made into superior one functioning as a guardian, I wasn't exactly depressed (I am an extremely accepting person.) but it wasn't unpleasant or anything at least I don't think... I have a few theories about that, but I made a tulpa and well I'm not sure... If something happened to it, I will explain my theories below. luckily. This only lasted 3 days,I think (Time was hard to keep track of during this period.). I didn't even realize I had lost my emotions, I had convinced myself it was calmness (or maybe something else convinced me.) well I had a chat with an empath and he told me to feel a strong emotion and then informed me that my emotions were repressed (can't say how much I owe him.) I then started saying what har caused it and then we worked out that it wasn't the void (something I got curious about.) but somethingelse... When I started talking I was smiling and didn't know why and bursts of giggles came from my throat, after that I started smirking madly and sobbing. Will this have an effect n my tulpa? I also noticed after using this certain parts of my body went numb, I'm pretty sure my spirit was desynchronising with my body or something along those lines. I summoned a demon (highly unlikely.) and it attached itself to me. Here's the theory I believe more in, that this was hell. Before I had found a something of limitless energy while searching inside myself, this was the opposite. I know this sounds insane but it happened, a lot I still haven't worked out and I feel scared. After this ended I sobbed at random periods when I thought about it too much. I got my theories one from the fact that it stopped after I confessed how it had happened (that usually takes away there power.) and two the fact of what it was and that it was exactly what one guy I saw a video of said hell was (the guy had apparently died and came back to life.) from what I have found heaven and hell are inside us and I may have just come to another theory that the hell I went to was the almaggation of everything dark in me.
  25. Hi - I think it best to give a brief introduction to myself and what I'm doing. I've lurked on these forums and browsed the web about the concept of tulpae for about 6 months now (I hope I don't receive a cold shoulder like most new members receive in online forums), as the subject *deeply* interests me. Only very recently have I decided to see if I can prove the skeptic inside of me wrong and go ahead and start. I'd say I'm skeptical yet open and fascinated by the whole idea. My tulpa is based off the Halo character Cortana, both physically and mentally. I fully understand to give 'her' room to deviate and become her own entity, but she will be heavily influenced by both her look and her personality. I also think that it will help me solidify and speed up the process somewhat, since I know the character very well already. I'm not at all expecting the Cortana, just something roughly along the same lines. Today I decided to start trying, starting with personality. I wrote down a list of traits that I would want her to have, some of those are those the actual character has, some of those are there out of personal taste, such as being encouraging and motivating, since I have trouble with motivation. When I sat down, closed my eyes and let my mind come to rest, I started imagining her in front of me, with me imbuing a ball of energy with said trait and firing it into her chest. I did this for around 5 minutes or so before I realised, I don't fully comprehend or understand the traits I'm trying to imbue her with, for example I grasp the concept of wit and I know what it is when I see or hear it, but I can't seem to 'fire' it into her in any meaningful way. Or at least all I seem to be doing is imagining the word and saying the word, filling the ball of energy with the word and releasing it. But its just the word. It doesn't feel like I'm doing it right. I guess my question is, is that how you do it? It doesn't feel right, and it certainly doesn't feel as if I'm achieving the desired effect of filling her personality with the desired trait. This was felt across the board, even with obvious things like humour and sarcasm. It may be useful to know for any reason that I have Asperger's Syndrome and fall into the INTJ personality type. I find visualising images in my imagination very simple and easy, which is why I chose symbolism over narration, which I will probably end up doing as well so I give more energy to her. Sorry for the long winded post, I'm new to this and I'm trying to be as thorough as I can. -Grizzly To add onto this, something slightly disturbing has occurred. I've continued with imbuing a ball of energy with the word, and releasing it but its brought up an odd visualisation and mental sensation that I used to have nightmares about - except it isn't scary, its just concerning. I've never, ever been able to accurately describe what those nightmares I used have as a kid where and I still can't to this day, but the only way of describing it is the concept of an imperceptibly colossus cylindrical giant mass, that is moving/rolling. Thats the best way to describe it and its more a concept than something you can describe with words... I used to have nightmares that it would chase me or that it was just moving, but I'm sensing something highly similar to that sensation - devoid of the fear it usually contains - that originated from the ball of energy I had between my hands, and it was bigger than I could conceive of. I tried visualising myself, and then myself and 'Cortana' shutting it down forcibly but it didn't work, and whenever I have intrusive thoughts or thoughts I don't want I visualise myself shutting it down or chasing it out and it always works, but not in this case. It happened less than 5 minutes/ 2 traits through and tried to persevere but I stopped because it was making me feel weird - not scared though, like the image usually makes me when I dream it. I bet I'm going to have nightmares tonight. I don't know what to make of this, can someone give any sort of advice?
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