Guest Anonymous July 20, 2016 July 20, 2016 Police officer: "Can you identify yourself, sir?" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: "Yes, it's me."
jean-luc July 20, 2016 July 20, 2016 Police officer: "Can you identify yourself, sir?" Driver says "Excuse me I am a tri-gendered pansexual altan-attack helicopter and I don't appreciate you suppressing me." Police officer: "Can you identify yourself, sir?" Driver says "Yes, I can." Police officer: "Can you identify yourself, sir?" Driver says "No, I can't. Just a sec." *driver pulls pants and underwear forwards so that he can see his own genitals* "I beliebe I am male" Police officer: "Can you identify yourself, sir?" Driver says "No I can't. Do you mind telling me what year it is? And why you're wearing the entirety of the universe on you head?" Police officer: "Can you identify yourself, sir?" Driver says "I am a soverign citizen and I have all the rights of a citizen without having to follow the laws. Also, I am travelling, not driving. Can I speak to your supervisor?" I dunno man, they all just came out. You've come up with a killer format melian. Or maybe not, but I'm gonna hit "Post Reply" anyway. Stats is back: https://stats.jean-luc.org/ I don't visit as often as I used to. If you want me to see something, make sure to quote a post of mine or ping me @jean-luc
jean-luc July 21, 2016 July 21, 2016 Did you hear about the dubstep-loving cleanfreak that was chopping vegetables? [hidden] The freaked out when the beat dropped. [/hidden] Stats is back: https://stats.jean-luc.org/ I don't visit as often as I used to. If you want me to see something, make sure to quote a post of mine or ping me @jean-luc
Linkzelda July 21, 2016 July 21, 2016 *whoosh* I don't get it. Exactly!!!!!! Punch line! P-zombies don't get it. What do you get when you combine a tulpa with Spongebob Squarepants in a sentence? [hidden]A Spatula! [/hidden] [align=center]7 Hours of Active Forcing 8 Hours & 29 Minutes of Active Forcing 10 Hours of Active Forcing[/align]
Guest Anonymous July 21, 2016 July 21, 2016 What did the big candle say to the little candle? You're too young to go out!
jean-luc July 22, 2016 July 22, 2016 He says, "No drinks, I'm stuck in a time loop!" The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" So a man time travels into a walking bar... Stats is back: https://stats.jean-luc.org/ I don't visit as often as I used to. If you want me to see something, make sure to quote a post of mine or ping me @jean-luc
Linkzelda July 22, 2016 July 22, 2016 What did Mary, the color scientist, say to the other scientists when she saw the color red on an apple for the first time, even though she had all physical knowledge of the world? WHAT THE F%%% IS THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? [align=center]7 Hours of Active Forcing 8 Hours & 29 Minutes of Active Forcing 10 Hours of Active Forcing[/align]
Guest Anonymous July 22, 2016 July 22, 2016 I gave my cat a bath the other day... they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, if was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that...
SomethingDire July 23, 2016 July 23, 2016 I gave my cat a bath the other day... they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, if was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that... I'm SomethingDire, and Céleste is my partner in crime.
Guest Anonymous July 23, 2016 July 23, 2016 After leaving a bar, one atom turns to the other and says, "Oh wait, I left an electron at the bar". "Are your sure?" the other questions, to which he replies, "Yes, I'm positive"
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