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Stupid Jokes Thread


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Eh, the rules don't say anything about being offensive.

Chupi, plz don't ban me.

 

Why are Nazis so bad at making cakes?

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Because all the good ovens were full

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So Vladimir Putin decides to go on vacation to Ukraine.

He goes to the customs desk to begin the questions.

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The intervierer asks "Occupation?"

Putin says, "No, just visiting."

[/Hidden]

"Try to get a better understanding of things before making your judgement." -Khan, Metro 2033

 

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Guest Anonymous

This dog walks into a telegraph office and picks up a blank form.

He then writes on it, “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.” and hands the form to the clerk.

 

The clerk takes it off him, looks it over and then says, “You know, there are only nine words here. You could add another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”

 

The dog shakes his head at the clerk in disbelief and says “But that would make no sense at all.”

He says, "No drinks, I'm stuck in a time loop!"

 

The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?"

 

So a man walks into a time traveler bar...

Stats is back: https://stats.jean-luc.org/
My visits to tulpa.info are chaotic. If you want me to see something, make sure to quote a post of mine or ping me @jean-luc

(credits to my brother)

The man enters in a pet shop, and the seller show him a parrot that has recently came. The salesman happily says:

"Hey man, I have an interesting thing for you. See this parrot? He is bilingual: when it lifts the right leg it speaks english, and when it lifts the left leg it speaks spanish!"

 

Then the man asks, "what if it lifts his 2 legs?!?"

 

the parrot then answer: ”Then I fall, you idiot!".

Cecilia is the only tulpa, is about my age (in form), changes it once in a while and just enjoys to see the circus catch fire :P

I go by Ephemeral because it's a nice word, but maybe just Ephe is shorter. A guy who likes doing math and programming and dreaming.

"You're not a drop in the ocean, but the entire ocean in a drop"--Rumi

PR

 

Guest Anonymous

A tired traveler decided to find a hotel for the night. He stumbled to the front desk and said to the clerk, “Pardon me, I’m exhausted, I’ve been driving for fourteen hours, I’m hungry, and I have a headache. Can you just tell me what room I’m in?”

“Certainly, sir,” the helpful clerk replied. “You are in the lobby.”

He says, "No drinks, I'm stuck in a time loop!"

 

The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?"

 

So a man walks into a time traveler bar...

 

Boo that joke was already done a couple day beforehand.

"Try to get a better understanding of things before making your judgement." -Khan, Metro 2033

 

 

Boo that joke was already done a couple day beforehand.

 

*whoosh*


What did one p-zombie think about the other p-zombie?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_

 

 

 

 

 

GET IT??!?!?!?

 

 

Because...because...aww shucks!

 

I don't get it.

Stats is back: https://stats.jean-luc.org/
My visits to tulpa.info are chaotic. If you want me to see something, make sure to quote a post of mine or ping me @jean-luc

Guest Anonymous

Two cannibals were eating a clown – one said to the other, 'Does he taste funny to you?'

Guest Anonymous

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

 

In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel,

and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

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