Stupid Jokes Thread

[Guest Anonymous]

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

[SomethingDire]

That's a good one.

[Guest Anonymous]

I am so embarrassed. I just realized that under our clothes, all of us are naked!

[Guest Anonymous]

A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters "UFO" were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft. As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with shock, his young blonde attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank and waved to the two aliens as they took off.

 

"Do you realize what just happened?" the station owner finally uttered.

 

"Yeah," said the blonde attendant. "So?"

 

"Didn't you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!"

 

"Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"

 

"Didn't you see the letters 'UFO' on the side of that vehicle?!"

 

"Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"

 

"Don't you know what 'UFO' means?!"

 

The blonde attendant rolled his eyes. "Good grief, boss! I've been

working here for six years. Of course I know what 'UFO' means

'Unleaded Fuel Only.'"

[Guest Anonymous]

Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?

 

To get to the other TIDE

[Guest Anonymous]

I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

[Guest Anonymous]

I never knew having an imaginary friend could be so problematic.

 

I opened a bank account for him, donated some of my funds, now I'm being done for tax evasion.

[Guest Anonymous]

Do you know why they call them hurdles?

 

Cause if you trip, it will hurtle lot.

[tulpa001]

A futurist, a clairvoyant and a visionary walk into a bar.

 

Ouch. They should watch where they're going.

[glint4]

 

Reminds me of this comic. The story is more or less like this.

Sherlock: This chocolate looks good.

Watson: No, shit, sherlock.

Sherlock: *eats the chocolate*

Sherlock: FFFFFUUUUUUUUUU