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Stupid Jokes Thread


Guest Anonymous

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Forgot this was titled "stupid jokes" instead of "offensive, stupid jokes" so my bad.

 

Another one:

A man came home from work. His wife noticed he didn't bring his car with him then proceeded to ask

 

W: What happened to the car?

M: I couldn't turn it on, maybe the carburetor got wet.

W: Where is it now?

M: In the river.

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A man covered in coal dust walks into the bar after a hard day's work.

 

The bartender says "Sorry sir, we don't serve miners here".

 


 

The musical notes D, F, and A walk into a bar.

 

The bartender says "Ya'll really struck a chord with me, but unfortunately we don't have minors here. One of you's gonna have to step it up."

 


 

An asic for bitcoin mining walks into a bar

 

The bartender says "Sorry sir, we don't server miners here"

 


 

An australian bird walks into a bar

 

The bartender says "Sorry bird, we don't serve miners here."

 


 

A bird of the starling family (Sturnidae) walks into a bar

 

The bartend says "Sorry bird, we don't serve Mynas here."

 


 

An american jazz trombonist who was in the Count Basie band walks into a bar.

 

The bartender says "Sorry sir, we don't serve Minors here".

 


 

A city in Jefferson County, Alabama, United States, located north of the Birmingham suburb, Pleasant Grove tried to incorpate an area including the bar.

 

The bartender walks up to the city center and calmly tells the mayor "Sorry, we don't allow Minor here"

 

The mayor says to him "How the hell do you include links in your speach!?"

 


 

The bartender, frustrated that the city incorporated the area despite his protest, moves to california and builds a new bar next to a creek. One day, the creek overflows and starts coming in his bar. the real joke here is there being a flood in california. Hah!

 

Calmly, he patches up holes in the wall trying to make it waterproof, and tells the water "Sorry, we don't allow Minor here"

 


 

Despite best efforts, the bar is ruined. The bartender decides to go a completely different route and design a bar specifically for baseball players in the big leagues, with filthy commoners not being allowed in.

 

One day, a filthy commoner tries to get in, saying they're on a professional team.

 

The bartender says "Sorry sir, we don't serve Minor league players here"

 


 

Finding that he doesn't get much business at his most recent bar, he decides to give up bartending entirely and go into the medical profession, specifically amputations. People told him he couldn't only do amputations, and that he needed schooling, but he did it anyway.

 

One day, a kid with a horrible infection in his toe asks to get it cut off.

 

The bartender says "Sorry, we don't sever minors here"

 


 

After spending some time in prison, the bartender decides he should get into the hair wig business. Instead of the normal audience, he wants to appeal to teenagers who wants severely colored hair. His plan is to convince them to shave their head so that they can change their hair to whatever they want. He goes about finding a workforce as he gets his business set up. Finally, it comes to the grand opening and he's giving his new employees a pep-talk.

 

"Alright, we gotta look 'cool'. I know it sounds silly, but I think we can make it work. I understand not all of you are willing to shave you heads, and I understand that. But you can still show them how cool these wigs are. We can change our wigs multiple times a day. Ideally, you should do this in clear view of customers so that they can see just how easy it is."

 

He goes on and on and on. Finally it gets to a few seconds opening time, and there's a small crowd waiting outside to see the new store.

 

One of the employees ask "So what do we do now?"

 

The bartender says "Swauvely, we don severe minor's 'air."

I don't visit as often as I used to. If you want me to see something, make sure to quote a post of mine or ping me @jean-luc

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