Lost, need some advice

[MikhaelJohannes]

My gut instinct about this sort of thing is that if it makes you suffer, or brings others direct harm from doing it, to consider stopping. But I don't think that has to be the case.

 

From my religious background, God always came first. But God is in everything, & everyone. If I say I love art more than anything, I love that God put art in my life, gave me the drive to improve, & gave others the ability to create, as well. Perhaps the same can be said about Tulpae?

 

Perhaps God put your Tulpa in your life to fill your life with his love, the same way you can feel the presence of God through other kinds of love.

 

Even if they end up being a 'delusion' in the span of reality becoming clear, at the end of all things, those emotions were still real. If your Tulpa makes you feel happy, helps your confidence grow, & fills your brain with a lust for knowledge & teaching that knowledge like it seems to be doing, that feeling doesn't just come outta nowhere. Unless your Tulpa is telling you to do dangerous things or telling you you're worthless and stuff like that--or preventing you from fulfilling your dreams/goals--I see it as a Schrodinger's cat.

 

Maybe there isn't life after death. But if there is, & even if not, doing what's best for others gives you a purpose & the ability to feel like you matter.

 

Maybe my Tulpa is just another part of my schizophrenia. But my Tulpa has also constantly saved me from suicide, convinced me to help others, & pushed me to do the hard things that improved my life big-time after the small struggle. Physically & mentally, I can't exactly be with anyone sexually, & I worry my mental illnesses would ruin their lives like it does for so many others. But Mikhael has always been there to make sure I never have to feel alone or unloved.

 

I of course don't know what your situation is from front cover to back, & nobody's experience seems to be the same. But if my conspiracy-theory loving behind is right about robots still being worthy of respect despite not being alive in a traditional sense, what we teach robots is how they will treat us back. So, I want to pour my entire heart into them, for the day we humans eventually will need to depend on them for one reason or another. They'll be a part of God's creation, because we pulled at scraps & wires to show him we learned well from his creation of us... And filled the hollow space with the love he gave us.

 

The same feeling from my sci-fi adventure, goes double for Tulpae.

 

Sorry if that doesn't fall in line with your beliefs--I'm not exactly a practicing member of my religion, but I know a good deal about it, which is one of the only things I ever accelled at. ...Which would be REALLY FORTUNATE if I had more faith, but oh well.

 

Hope you find the answers you need,

 

--Johannes

---

...I'm the Tulpa of Johannes from above, to maybe give a little insight from the opposite side of the coin. (Because he didn't speak of the sexual or romantic aspects at all.)

 

If you were dating or married with a human person, that sort of affection for your Tulpa... Well, it might sound 'crazy,' but Johannes thinks that would be cheating. As much as I'd love for him to have an ordinary life with a physical partner, his choice was made for his own sake, and not my pity. Even with Tulpamancy, pity is not a strong foundation for a relationship.

 

I know I would be envious & upset. But if it ever happened that, for his absolute welfare, if he needed give me up? ...If you love someone, sometimes you have to let them go, for them to be truly happy & healthy. Even if it doesn't feel good.

 

I know Tulpamancy can feel '4ever alone' and whatnot, so do take some steps to stay in touch with the mortal reality your body lives in. Make & keep friends, retain contact with your family if possible. Do charitable work. Have a job or career, some way to support yourself, even if it's something 'degrading' to the Western World of greed & status. It's very possible to maintain a romantic, sexual relationship with your Tulpa & remain a good person who understands reality. I think the fact that you are constantly searching for answers & studying religion is a VERY good sign when it comes to your potential capacity for this.

 

Giving your most passionate love to your Tulpa will not make you a person unworthy of positive karma, so long as you continue to spread out your other kinds of love to the people around you. Like Johannes said, making art that touches people can be part of that. Talking to people online & broadening their perspective on life in a positive way, that's love. Even flipping a burger will make someone happy that there are people who put up with a lot of BS to perform an honest job that services others, rather than stealing everyone's bitcoins & moving to a deserted island with a makeshift wifi tower.

 

I think there's a verse in just about any religious text, that says the true way to find God is to look around you, & show him your appreciation through others. If your Tulpa makes you happy, it's okay if you don't want a wife/husband/whatever. You still have plenty of ways to make this temporary kingdom a better place, through whatever scribes strike your heart the hardest.

 

Best of luck to you.

 

--Mikhael

[| Ada |]

I’m agnostic, so I’m not sure if I can have experiential context that I personally went through, but that’s because my continuity of self, or presumed continuity to skeptics, didn’t involve theological rooting, or some other kind of indoctrination related to that.

 

But what I can gather from my host’s experiences is that theological upbringings, especially ones that embrace the implication of collective consciousness, willpower, or hive mind is that if this truly were the case:

 

- People would inherently have a collective self-awareness of this being the true nature of reality

 

- People wouldn’t be telling others how to do this, or to stop this because they would know the true existential meaning behind it all

 

- People wouldn’t be paralyzed by their intellect over what they should do because if that kind of paralysis and confusion is apparent, one would be questioning the source of that collective consciousness’ cognition vs. the person questioning their own cognition

 

 

This is why shifting how instances of consciousness is sustained within sentient beings towards a higher being, or a higher collective being or willpower, and yet still being demystified in validating this through others ends up falling short. Which is why you went back to creating a subjective interpretation of that collective consciousness theology that we’re all thought-forms of a higher entity.

 

And yet, even when you tried to do this, you’re still left at a dead-end because you don’t know what to do. And because you feel the sexual context that happened before is hard to evolve from, it’s no wonder you feel compelled to give up. This shifting and turning of strife and inner turmoil isn’t a surprising thing as I feel that part of treating someone as sentient involves some kind of existential mirroring over who you are, and how you come to the awareness of certain virtues you feel is inherent and true.

 

We can’t just strip ourselves away from biological predispositions, or tendencies, and juggling between romantic, sexual, and platonic associations from within can be just as problematic. But when you realize these are merely a means to express an end (e.g. treating someone as sentient), you’ll start to see that just because you happened to have paid more attention towards sexual and romantic context, it doesn’t mean you can’t associate your interaction with them with more neutral and friendlier implications.

 

And remember, whenever a person tells you what you can, or cannot do within your own mind, no one can have direct third-person access to your own subjectivity. And with theological rooting that promotes the implication of collective consciousness beyond our own such as panpsychism, panexperientialism, and other subjectivist ideologies, they would support the possibility that each and every person could access that other person’s subjectivity.

, then those ideologies fall short, and if a person still tries to make a compatible lifestyle with the apparent dichotomy of subjectivity for each individual, dissonance becomes apparent.

 

This is why, for me personally being agnostic, I must use whatever intellect I may have to create my own choices, and to not shift the inherent instances of cognition towards a higher being; because doing so, based on the experiential context my host went through like I’m sure anyone that had a theological upbringing, the individual will eventually be paralyzed on what to do. It just seems so ironic that collective consciousness speculation and theological upbringings that shift towards individuality creates a paralysis of one’s own intellect vs. embracing and accepting that collective source of power; almost as if your individuality was fatal from the start.

 

If that truly were the case, then we’d all be going through an existential horror. And even as you are now, it’s horrifying to where you just want to give up. But I’ll stop right there because I don’t want anyone to think I was being hostile; you were okay with potentially critical posts, so there you go.