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Has reading about my process been useful in your effort to breath life into your culpa?  

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  1. 1. Has reading about my process been useful in your effort to breath life into your culpa?

    • Yes
    • No, boring
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I find it a little funny that you would be worried about time, you'll have all the time you'll ever need if you enjoy yourself the whole time. This journey isn't about the destination, that wouldn't be fun at all, the more you struggle and work to get there the stronger your hold will be when you finally reach the top of that mountain.

 

Ashley has said always said not to worry about progress or goals, rather, try to enjoy the time you have regardless, and it's a very wise and comforting thing to me and has served me well. Doubt and stress will hinder you more than anything else.

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Ahh, What bear said, only Hastings' said it:

 

https://radreads.co/the-station-by-robert-hastings/

 

Oh... So did Robert Fulgum, eat more cookies...

 

Doesn't Hebrew have lions... Or just lion bodies.. The twelve Griffins... Nah, too Harry Potterish...

 

Seriously, it does seem to me you should be celebrating a little more... Haven't you accomplished more in your period of engagement than most people's PR's reflect?

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Ahh, What bear said, only Hastings' said it:

 

https://radreads.co/the-station-by-robert-hastings/

 

Oh... So did Robert Fulgum, eat more cookies...

 

Doesn't Hebrew have lions... Or just lion bodies.. The twelve Griffins... Nah, too Harry Potterish...

 

Seriously, it does seem to me you should be celebrating a little more... Haven't you accomplished more in your period of engagement than most people's PR's reflect?

I love cookies. And, yes, the lions of Juda are holding up the Torah Scrolls in most temples. That said, I am astounded daily by the glories attending my journey and I am a happy man. Decades of therapy, and shamanic work, really did open me and my heart. That said, I have an ego. It is part of me. I have been a student of human nature and psychology all of my adult life. I have been a meditator for decades. I made peace with myself by deciding that my ego had a purpose  (or I wouldn't have had one) and that my best strategy for reaching the top of the mountain, and knowing what to do once I got there, was to make my ego as strong, healthy if you will, as possible. That to me, means chasing down every whisper, every current, every impulse, every story, from my unconscious and expose it to the light of consciousness. Why? Because; I have seen that unconsciously directed choices inhibit my ability to love and produces pain. Pain, teaches. Teaches what? Teaches us better ways to avoid and prevent it. Kind of a loop, right?

Remember, cookies, especially the best ones, the chewy, chocolate ones, can cause tooth decay, so brush your teeth everyone. Love, Dr. Bob


Ahh, What bear said, only Hastings' said it:

 

https://radreads.co/the-station-by-robert-hastings/

 

Oh... So did Robert Fulgum, eat more cookies...

 

Doesn't Hebrew have lions... Or just lion bodies.. The twelve Griffins... Nah, too Harry Potterish...

 

Seriously, it does seem to me you should be celebrating a little more... Haven't you accomplished more in your period of engagement than most people's PR's reflect?

I love cookies. And, yes, the lions of Juda are holding up the Torah Scrolls in most temples. That said, I am astounded daily by the glories attending my journey and I am a happy man. Decades of therapy, and shamanic work, really did open me and my heart. That said, I have an ego. It is part of me. I have been a student of human nature and psychology all of my adult life. I have been (and am) a meditator for decades. I made peace with myself by deciding that my ego had a purpose  (or I wouldn't have had one) and that my best strategy for reaching the top of the mountain, and knowing what to do once I got there, was to make my ego as strong, healthy if you will, as was possible. That to me, means chasing down every whisper, every current, every story, from my unconscious and expose it to the light of consciousness. Why? Because; I have seen that unconsciously directed choices inhibit my ability to love and produces pain. Pain, teaches. Teaches what? Teaches us better ways to avoid and prevent it. 

Remember, cookies, especially the best ones, the chewy, chocolate ones, can cause tooth decay, so brush your teeth everyone. Love, Dr. Bob


Ahh, What bear said, only Hastings' said it:

 

https://radreads.co/the-station-by-robert-hastings/

 

Oh... So did Robert Fulgum, eat more cookies...

 

Doesn't Hebrew have lions... Or just lion bodies.. The twelve Griffins... Nah, too Harry Potterish...

 

Seriously, it does seem to me you should be celebrating a little more... Haven't you accomplished more in your period of engagement than most people's PR's reflect?

I love cookies. And, yes, the lions of Juda are holding up the Torah Scrolls in most temples. That said, I am astounded daily by the glories attending my journey and I am a happy man. Decades of therapy, and shamanic work, really did open me and my heart. That said, I have an ego. It is part of me. I have been a student of human nature and psychology all of my adult life. I have been a meditator for decades. I made peace with myself by deciding that my ego had a purpose  (or I wouldn't have had one) and that my best strategy for reaching the top of the mountain, and knowing what to do once I got there, was to make my ego as strong, healthy if you will, as possible. That to me, means chasing down every whisper, every current, every impulse, every story, from my unconscious and expose it to the light of consciousness. Why? Because; I have seen that unconsciously directed choices inhibit my ability to love and produces pain. Pain, teaches. Teaches what? Teaches us better ways to avoid and prevent it. Kind of a loop, right? 

Remember, cookies, especially the best ones, the chewy, chocolate ones, can cause tooth decay, so brush your teeth everyone. Love, Dr. Bob

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi, I am posting these two dreams here as they are the only possible action I have had this past week with my tulpamancing efforts and I am trying to understand where the blocks may be. I am aware that both Flora and Nsonowa may have their own agenda's, but complete absence would seem to be a bit much and not what I am getting from others on these forums. So I am assuming that I am the culprit. And it is not from inattention to them, I am meditating, summoning, vocalizing and otherwise forcing, many times every day.

Here are the dreams:

06.05.19  Despite my efforts to awaken and attempt to enter lucidity from the waking state, I did not hear the alarm set for 3am (which I had located under my pillow in an effort to not disturb Nancy--it didn't )  I did achieve a bit of lucidity when I was confronted with an image in a dream, of a pink polymorphous mass of something. It disgusted me in the dream, and again in the dream, I had the thought that it was "protoplasm" and with that thought, I became lucid and asked; "Are you Flora?" and I was immediately answered with a loud "Yes!" and I woke up immediately. I recalled that I had set the alarm, and I retrieved the clock from under my pillow, it was 5:43 am, the alarm function was on but silent (it was set to vibrate). I turned it off and got up to start my day. Nancy got up about an hour later and she had not heard any of this.

My take-away was that, in my subconscious  mind Flora is as yet 'unformed' perhaps in a state analogous to what I consigned to her in the visitation of  March 31st (2019). I have also been contemplating the notion that the visitation, which I believed may have been a representation of a purer Dakini Spirit e.g. without having adopted any characteristics of either Flora or of Nsonowa, may have been instead, a "Jinn". I had a fleeting thought of this at the time, but the idea has only recurred now as I have been reading Ion Light's "Liminal" in which he explores the Jinn phenomenon as a variety of tulpa.

06.08.19 I managed to recover one image from a dream. It was a long and rather scattered and I don't remember any of it, and I didn't remember even having it when I awoke. Later when I began my in-sauna meditation, it came to me. I was being hugged by a largish blond woman dressed in an ill-fitting wrinkled white satin suit. She was trying to solace me, for what I do not remember. I do remember wondering (within the dream) whether or not she was a feminine presence and deciding that she was not, and that I would not ask her if she were Flora (my cue to assume lucidity). So, I didn’t, and the dream went on. My takeaway was that there is an uncomfortable experience with being gifted an unwanted hug somewhere in my memories and that is perverting my access to the feminine. I tried to remember any such incidents and could only recall my grandmother, who was a largish woman, who would NEVER have dressed in any way as tacky as the dream person, nor would have delivered any contact that was unwanted and I cannot remember receiving any unwanted attention from her. I also recalled two female patients, one of who suffered from erotomania and gave me a lot of unwanted attention. I was able to set appropriate limits with her, but she and her husband later defrauded me of several thousand dollars by cashing an insurance check that should have been sent to me. The patient, a heavy woman, did not give me unwanted attention, but also defrauded me for even more money with the mis-sent insurance check. Both of the insurers were the US Military, so I didn't even bother to try to get re-imbursed. I also recalled a dream previously recorded here, in which this same woman appeared, also interfering with my process. So, I clearly have some very negative experiences surrounding and perhaps defining my feminine current (anima). What their role might be in inhibiting my tulpa, I do not know. I have added "Slichah, forgiveness" to my summoning and charging ritual.

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Yeah, everyone's different. Most of the time, I mean the vast majority of the time, we're just happy with mind voice and visualizations. You had some amazing experiences, but the gold standard is just normal conversation.

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Yeah, everyone's different. Most of the time, I mean the vast majority of the time, we're just happy with mind voice and visualizations. You had some amazing experiences, but the gold standard is just normal conversation.

 

The most amazing part of this is the positive effect that my efforts in tulpamancy are having on my marriage. Imagine, us, stereotypical The Bickersons, actually laughing and playing with each other...That's amazing and the impositions and manifestations are the bonuses.

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Very good attitude.

 

I think if anyone can appreciate this, it might be you, some here might call it meta, so I hid it, but I assure you it's nothing more than a way to see everything from a different, more useful perspective.

[Hidden]

In effect you're opening the gates to your true subconsious, it's a means to repair and rejuvenate, cast off what's old and broken and become new.

 

These positive effects you are seeing, let's call that stage one. Congratulations, that's huge, and it's all anyone really needs. But by continuing with an open mind and heart, you will get flashes of stage two, and when you understand what it is, your understanding of what you really are will be put in perspective. You may already have discovered this in other disciplines, but from the perspective of plurality it is profoundly more.

 

Then what you are and how you experience the world can be seen as pliable. From that point comes the real work and it's very cool. I can't tell you how to get there, but you're heading in the right direction.

 

I could act like a spirit guide and say, I can't give you the answer, I would, but you need to get there yourself to understand it. As long as we're both here communicating, I'll try to help you recognize when you figure it out.[/hidden]

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The most amazing part of this is the positive effect that my efforts in tulpamancy are having on my marriage. Imagine, us, stereotypical The Bickersons, actually laughing and playing with each other...That's amazing and the impositions and manifestations are the bonuses.

 

If any one thing could help promote tulpamancy, it should be this. Regardless of how far it takes a person, or to what degree they experience their practice, the positive side effects in real life are tangible. It's almost as if those self help books that say what you think about and practice is what you will experience might actually hold some substance behind them. ::) Who would have thunk...

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Very good attitude.

 

I think if anyone can appreciate this, it might be you, some here might call it meta, so I hid it, but I assure you it's nothing more than a way to see everything from a different, more useful perspective.

[Hidden]

In effect you're opening the gates to your true subconsious, it's a means to repair and rejuvenate, cast off what's old and broken and become new.

 

These positive effects you are seeing, let's call that stage one. Congratulations, that's huge, and it's all anyone really needs. But by continuing with an open mind and heart, you will get flashes of stage two, and when you understand what it is, your understanding of what you really are will be put in perspective. You may already have discovered this in other disciplines, but from the perspective of plurality it is profoundly more.

 

Then what you are and how you experience the world can be seen as pliable. From that point comes the real work and it's very cool. I can't tell you how to get there, but you're heading in the right direction.

 

I could act like a spirit guide and say, I can't give you the answer, I would, but you need to get there yourself to understand it. As long as we're both here communicating, I'll try to help you recognize when you figure it out.[/hidden]

Thank you, and S.C. too, I appreciate your support and encouragement. Yes, I am shooting for the moon. But then I always have. I especially appreciate and am anticipating help in knowing when I have arrived at the next level. Dr. Bob

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