[wonderland] Am I giving them a wonderland?

[Ember.Vesper]

If "they" are living in this world, to me that sounds like another dimension, fictional realm, or construct. A soulbond is an entity that visits you from this world, hence their stories and such.

 

That matches descriptions I've heard from out-sourced soulbonds, but not my own experience. I can only go home with the active involvement of my host, through her telling of my story in roleplaying games and writings. Iris took over playing herself, as I may or may not eventually, but she still is working within that same context, never losing awareness of the physical world. For outsourced soulbonds, when they go home, the host has no sense of them at all and may not be able to reach them, yet when they return, they report having been active the whole time. They aren't dependent on interaction with the host or physical world for a sense of personal fulfillment and quality of life, so neglect isn't an issue.

 

Neglect is more of a tulpa issue, I think. Anytime you intentionally create a new life, you are morally responsible for securing them a reasonable quality of life until such time, if any, as they can secure a reasonable quality of life for themselves. There's much less responsibility incurred when someone just shows up, even if you invite them to stay for a while, and even less if they experience coming and going as they please.

 

Going home for us is utterly unrelated to going to the mindscape, even though the mindscape intentionally looks exactly like home.

 

Do you guys ever argue with your tulpas?

 

A detailed treatment of the topic belongs in a different thread altogether, but Ember and I have argued a lot. Iris is too sweet and kind to end up in arguments with us.

 

-Vesper

[Bear]

Activity for tulpas still matters for a lot of reasons, so I disagree with your disagreeing.

 

What I'm saying is, if you have a healthy system, the interaction happens. If you're forcing yourself to interact with them like dragging yourself out of bed in the morning, something else is wrong.

 

Neglect is more of a tulpa issue, I think. Anytime you intentionally create a new life, you are morally responsible for securing them a reasonable quality of life until such time, if any, as they can secure a reasonable quality of life for themselves. There's much less responsibility incurred when someone just shows up, even if you invite them to stay for a while, and even less if they come and go as they please.

 

[Ashley] no one in my system was intentionally 'created' for the purpose of tulpamancy or for interaction. I was already there from unclear origin, possibly traumagenic, someone like Misha walked-in on day one with me, to Bear, she was fully mature. Someone like Joy was created as a character in a book, she gained the ability to speak on her own, and she visited with Bear outside her story on many occasions over the years. Finally, someone like Ren was accidentally created while interacting with Joy.

 

So no, none of us forced a tulpa from scratch, and we were all seemingly mature from the beginning, even Ren.

 

So none of us felt ignored, ever. Even though I never fully interacted with Bear until day one of his exploration of Tulpamancy, I feel I was with him most of his life, and that's consistent with his feeling.

 

Before tulpamancy, I played with the idea that my characters were from another realm or dimension, and I must have been channeling them, but I didn't really believe that. They would say and do things that I wouldn't though.

[Ranger]

Do you guys ever argue with your tulpas? Again, I'm not sure if that's normal but in particular, me and Kai butt heads quite a bit.

 

You're better off creating a new thread for this.

 

I don't agree with the statements here as stated.

 

1. In my experience and by the example of other systems, there is no such thing as 'ignoring a mature tulpa'. They're resilient and fully capable of getting your attention if they need it. Also, there are plenty of testimonials that even years of stasis, they don't necessarily lose anything, nor cause any harm. This is entirely between the system and the thoughtform in question. Arguably, they won't 'grow or mature' this way if they're not mature, and they can change while in stasis.

 

Young Tulpas are not as able to fight for their Host's attention, and this is why this is an issue in younger systems. However, this can still happen to older Tulpas as well, especially if the host is trying to dissipate them or lock them in stasis or the older Tulpa chooses to close off interactions themself.

 

2. I don't know where you're headed with the second statement, obviously they can't develop with you if you never interact with them. But if you're visualizing them, interactions are happening.

 

The point is, if you don't interact with them, you never get to hear their stories, regardless if they are metaphysically real or confabulation. At the very least, the body or soul within the host is dependent, and ignoring them will simply be equivalent to locking them in stasis or dissipating them.

[Bear]

Young Tulpas are not as able to fight for their Host's attention, and this is why this is an issue in younger systems. However, this can still happen to older Tulpas as well, especially if the host is trying to dissipate them or lock them in stasis or the older Tulpa chooses to close off interactions themself.

 

Agreed, if they want to do that I'm not going to stop them, I'm not worried about a mature tulpa, I don't believe they can be dissipated without a lot of effort for the rest of the system to ignore them, which is why this kind of scenario can't happen with my system, they would essentially need to agree to be dissipated and cease communication, and of course they could change their mind and come back any time. We would make it as comfortable for them as possible, but I don't see it ever happening personally, but I can conceive of situations where this would certainly be an option.

 

The point is, if you don't interact with them, you never get to hear their stories, regardless if they are metaphysically real or confabulation. At the very least, the body or soul within the host is dependent, and ignoring them will simply be equivalent to locking them in stasis or dissipating them.

This is true, but the mature tulpas I know complain a lot if they're not given the attention they need. That amount of attention varies by orders of magnitude, so I'm simply not worried and neither should anyone else. The point I'm making is, if you're ignoring your tulpa, someone else guilting you into interacting with them isn't going to help, and if you ignore them because you think that's okay, well, the next time you speak with them you'll know if it's a problem or not, for us, it has never been. I wouldn't say that I ignore them, but I don't actively try to talk to everyone every day. Hali, Gwen, Joy, even Ren, those four newest bonafide members come and visit when they feel like. Ren is 'bound to show up' for a lot of reasons, one of those is when we go on our wonderland adventures, since she likes that she'll usually come. Joy only shows when something she's interested in happens, like relationship talk or system governing. Hali is built for war, she'll definitely show if I'm having an issue with someone or something that requires tact, but not video games, she could care less about simulations (unless it's in her lore). My remaining moons almost never visit, they chose to stay in their lore, even if that means indefinite stasis, again, I'm not at all worried that even they will dissipate and I can call them up and the same conversation happens, they feel content in not being active. If they said they wanted to interact like the three angels, then no problem at all, we're doing extremely well and accommodating.

 

My soulbonds don't seem to need much attention and that wouldn't change if I called them, or they called themselves, tulpas.