Jump to content

Am I giving them a wonderland?

Recommended Posts


I'm fairly new to the tulpa thing and the beginner's guide said that it's not necessary to have a wonderland. I'm not 100% sure I've got a wonderland as I never go there, but there's a separate world they can go to if they don't fancy sticking around the real world. They go there sometimes for months. I can still get in touch with them while they're there but it's more like having a phone call with them--they don't have any physical presence, and they can ignore my invitation to chat.


Is that a wonderland?


If they decide to come in to the real world they always seem to have stories of what they've been up to in this place. But it's not a place I share with them, as such. If we share time together, it's almost always in my actual bedroom. I'm not saying they gain a physical body but it's like I project them into my room and visualise them beside me and I can feel certain sensations like touches, etc. (although I really have to pay attention and focus on it).


Does a wonderland need to be a separate space that I see when I close my eyes, or is what I have enough? I like to give them space and give them the option to enter the real world (ack, I'm saying enter the real world and it sounds silly saying it but you know what I mean) by their own choosing, so do I need an in-between wonderland? Do I already have it?


Help a woman out! I'm tripping over my own thoughts

Link to post
Share on other sites

So, soulbonds and tulpas can really do whatever you and they believe. Your mind is yours and mindspace is infinite and as complicated as the universe. That said, a typical wonderland is completely accessible by you or them. There are plenty of systems that have tulpas that "go off and do things" I have such a system. But they go off and do stuff in our wonderland that is basically a world parallel to reality that I have full access to.


From a purely pseudo-scientific basis, the imanary world (as opposed to the real world) is anything you or they want. So don't be offended or offput by some who would say that what you have isn't right or whatever, they really can never know, but many systems don't have a wonderland at all and it is not deemed necessary here.


They (here and in a few tulpamancy communities) tend to push such conversations as this to the metaphysical boards because other mindspaces (real or imaginary) that are only accessible by your headmates is considered metaphysical. Some would say wonderlands are completely unnecessary, but they are very fulfilling and raise the quality of life for everyone in my system.


My wonderland is a place we interact and have adventures. It's very fulfilling. We have a lot of fun activities there. If you like that sort of thing, it would be a place you can be immersed in. This daydreaming realm can eventually be as real as a lucid dream or reality itself. We're getting there.


A have eight official members of my system, including myself, and 4 of us go off and either go dormant or do whatever on their own for weeks at a time, but i can call them up instantly. Some do just go dormant (to sleep). One in particular was asleep for 2 years amd from her perspective, it was just a nap.


Warnings and disclaimers, aside, that's cool. I would like to encourage you to write a progress report and tell us more about it. In the progtess report you can pretty much put whatever you want.

Link to post
Share on other sites

If you're "new to the tulpa thing" but your headmates go to their own place "sometimes for months", I'm guessing they were around before you started studying tulpamancy. Such headmates often display features that are rare among those created using the guides here. From just what you've said so far, I'd say you're doing pretty well and don't need to change what you're doing unless you or one of your headmates wants something different. You don't need to give up the things that make you distinctive for the sake of anything or anyone you come across here. There's a good chance you could learn to access the place where they go and I'm sure you and them could build a middle ground between there and the physical world. But either is really only if you or them want to.


Worlds where the others remember being independently active that the host never visits are almost unknown in the tulpamancy community, but they are common among soulbonders. Soulbonds can sometimes experience returning to the their homeworlds, where they are simply normal physical beings and not plural. But then they interact with their hosts in a separate headspace/soulscape or in the physical world. The homeworlds are not considered part of the headspace, which is called a wonderland or mindscape here.


"Enter the real world" doesn't sound silly to me. And if you stick around here, it may stop sounding silly to you. But my system strongly prefers "physical world" over "real world", as "real world" sounds like it has more of an implied value judgement.



I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember


Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015


'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yup, sounds like what they call "wonderland" to me. Though, it could always be your tulpas call it differently.


We just call it "mindscape", as that seems more fitting to our experience. The idea is the same though. There's not one rule of how this "mindscape" should be. And as you said, some people don't have a mindspace at all, or at least not for their tulpas. Experiences are as diverse as people are. As long as it works for you and your tulpas, you should be fine!


And hey, if you're curious about what kind of place it is and where they think it is, you can just try asking them. Who knows, maybe you'll get some information that's difficult to find even in the tulpa community.

Michen, host or "main" / Amantha, anthro arctic fox tulpa


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello Ghibli, Sasukie, Miss and Kai !


You should talk about this with your headmates : do they want to keep a secret garden where you're not allowed to go? Would they rather have you there sometimes and make you visit their place (then you'll have to find how to access this place, maybe they could help you)? Do you prefer co-creating another mindplace together, dedicated to mutual interaction? It's up to you.


I have a wonderland that I created myself. My host has trouble with visualization (wild mind eye), so she can't visit me often. We're both trying to improve this, because I love my place and I like to spend time there.


Tulpas are not supposed to live a life in parallel from their hosts so here it's considered as confabulation. But even if it is, I encourage every tulpa to "confabulate" that way. I find it very fulfilling and it certainly helps us to grow and be our own person. There are many ways to be real.

Hi, I'm Vādin, Zia's tulpa/permanent guest.


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ah, Ghibli. I love the answers you have collected. My experience seems in line with yours. I am partial to Bear's perspective, minus the longevity that you two seem to hold. Ember feels like a trusted old soul to me, someone I might listen to over a camp fire. I especially heard how language comes with emotional tangent, 'physical' versus versus 'imaginal' versus 'real.' So many hidden things in the language we use, and so being mindful of unintended vectors is so important. Vādin reference to 'secret garden' seems meaningful, too. When i consider all the folks that accessed 'dreams worlds' Nikola Tesla, Einstein... Seriously, Einstein was supposedly kicked out of school for day dreaming, or told he would amount to nothing... Few people realize the land of Narnia was just as real to CS Lewis as the physical world. Like age six, he and his brother created their own language for Narnia. It was that serious. Now consider the metaphor, living an entire life in Narnia, only to return to childhood, no time passing in the physical world... What if that's not just a story?


'Imaginal Realm' is a place described by esoteric tangent of Middle Eastern religions. There is a landscape there that mirrors the physical world, places that transcends, places that clearly morph or change per the person interacting with it, the bigger part of it and which is likely why 'imaginal' stuck, and places that have reported objective consistency by other explorers. The Eastern religions naming and referential systems are different, but such a close parallel I can't help but see these as being the same. I am not pushing a metaphysical tangent here, just offering you something to explore.


From a more scientific perspective, and i say more because though I can touch science, I have training in hard science and soft science, i am still bias in my perspective and that leaks through... There is evidence that we don't live in the physical world, but we live in the simulation that our brains make of the physical world... The idea we live in an illusion isn't just a metaphor or a religious belief; there's science behind it. Everyone knows we have blind spot, but we don't experience that. We know our eyes jump continuously, but we don't experience shaking world views like living in a movie shot on a hand held camera, thank god, cause i get serious vertigo during those movies. Contrary to popular belief, experiencing 'illusion' does not mean there is no data. An illusion does not equal delusion. Saying "I see the wind blowing the flag" can be acceptable in the vernacular, and we believe it is correct, but semantically it is wrong; "I see the flag moving, evidence of wind." We never see the wind. (In Asian philosophy, the flag isn't moving, the mind is moving... Kind of like the matrix, the spoon doesn't bend.) Illusion means real data, just likely misinterpreted data. Consider your brain and how much power is in the visual cortex. Comparatively, more of our brain is geared towards 'vision' than other things- but you would be wrong to just compartmentalize that because the whole brain works together as as a synergistic whole. Our brains take visual data and reconstructs the world and puts us in that- it connects light with touch and sounds and smells, even though clearly the light arrives before the sound- light is throttled down to match the stimulus, to provide 'continuity' in the Cartesian Theater. Professor Donald Hoffman has multiple videos where he makes his own assertions about how extraordinary complex the visual center is. (He's interesting to watch, but if you just read up on Cartesian Theater you will see how old this kind of thinking is.)


Watch this by Susan Blackmore



So, do you live in your brain, or the simulated world your brain has made available to you? Do your wonderlands, or other virtual landscapes, have any less validity? I think not. You can google this, i didn't make this assertion up "The brain can not distinguish between reality and fiction." So, you have a secret garden. A doorway to Narnia. Einstein's thought experiment was such a perfect model for reality that he saw beyond the paradigm of his day and suggested such a ludicrous concept that no one wanted to buy it, some still reject it! reality is that absurd, all while floating on a boat day-dreaming. So, whether this is a metaphysical place, a real place, or a virtual place- irrelevant. Maybe you're not using the computer to plot particle vectors in imagined explosions in virtual accelerators, or doing the social math illustrated in the bar scene of 'A Beautiful Mind,' but you are doing something equally beautiful, and it has value- to you, to your companions, and to us here.


May you continue to have pleasant 'trips!' Always, Travel Light.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have always considered the construct of a fictional place and being in that place to be two separate things. However, this is not always the case for all systems.


If "they" are living in this world, to me that sounds like another dimension, fictional realm, or construct. A soulbond is an entity that visits you from this world, hence their stories and such. This is a metaphysics topic, but it has lead to non-metaphysical consequences.


In my wonderland, it is an imagined world both me and my host can interact with. It's an imagined 3d place where we can walk around, touch the scenery, chat, etc. We both have imagined forms and we can explore this place by walking around and generating what comes to mind or I can sit down and shape the wonderland myself. This is the traditional wonderland often described in guides.


In the case where these two things are on in the same, it may feel like you visiting their world and not the other way around, although that's debatable depending on the system.


The main issues are sometimes a Host does not spend enough time talking to their Tulpas because they believe they can be ignored and left in their own world, or a Host will become convinced their Tulpas have the ability to harm the host by making plots in this other world. Please remember that no matter what, the host has the ability to determine how strong the connection is between them and their soulbonds. However, on the other hand, if the soulbonds have no way to keep in touch with you, then at best it will strain the connection and at worst it will hurt them and prevent them from going to their other world at all.

I'm Ranger, Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's tulpa, and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff.

My other headmates have their own account now.

Temporary Log | Switching LogcBox | Yay! | Bre Translator

Link to post
Share on other sites


(1)The main issues are sometimes a Host does not spend enough time talking to their Tulpas because they believe they can be ignored and left in their own world... (2) However, on the other hand, if the soulbonds have no way to keep in touch with you, then at best it will strain the connection and at worst it will hurt them and prevent them from going to their other world at all.


I don't agree with the statements here as stated.


1. In my experience and by the example of other systems, there is no such thing as 'ignoring a mature tulpa'. They're resilient and fully capable of getting your attention if they need it. Also, there are plenty of testimonials that even years of stasis, they don't necessarily lose anything, nor cause any harm. This is entirely between the system and the thoughtform in question. Arguably, they won't 'grow or mature' this way if they're not mature, and they can change while in stasis.


2. I don't know where you're headed with the second statement, obviously they can't develop with you if you never interact with them. But if you're visualizing them, interactions are happening.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Activity for tulpas still matters for a lot of reasons, so I disagree with your disagreeing.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

Link to post
Share on other sites

If you're "new to the tulpa thing" but your headmates go to their own place "sometimes for months", I'm guessing they were around before you started studying tulpamancy. 

Yes, actually I've had them around for a very long time-- over a decade, anyway. Although they weren't sentient originally. That took a few years, I'll be honest. I probably could have got them there quicker if I'd known what I was doing, or if I'd known tulpamancy was a practice, but they developed from imaginary friends when I was lonely and matured over time to have their own personalities, beliefs, ideals, etc.

Do you guys ever argue with your tulpas? Again, I'm not sure if that's normal but in particular, me and Kai butt heads quite a bit.

Thank you for giving me so much information on wonderlands, and soulbonds. It's got me thinking that 2 of my 3 tulpas may actually be soulbonds. Finding tulpamancy after already having thoughtforms is a lot to take in. I'm still trying to understand the wider picture but I'll get there eventually~!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Similar Content

    • Cat_ShadowGriffin
      By Cat_ShadowGriffin
      I released a new version here: https://community.tulpa.info/topic/16772-how-to-refocus-on-your-wonderland/
      This guide expands on concepts described in Chupi’s and Nikodemos’s guides by explaining when and how to apply those skills in order to focus and achieve better visualization of your wonderland. I will briefly summarize the concepts described in these guides as I describe the following method, however these guides go more in depth on how to practice the skills used for this method.
      This guide assumes you have a wonderland, but this method can also be applied to visualizing objects in a void. This method works best when active forcing, the process of providing your un-divided attention to your Tulpa, to minimize distractions.
      I used to tell people my visualization was bad because I struggled to get a clear image of my Tulpa and my wonderland most of the time. I eventually realized that my ability to focus greatly impacted my ability to visualize my wonderland, and all of the black voids and blurry imagery were a result of poor focus. I put this guide together because this strategy really helped me to the point where I can confidently visualize my wonderland at any time and not get frustrated by it anymore.
      The Process In Short
      This method is slowly drawing your attention away from distractions and towards your wonderland. You start with setting your mind on visualizing a simple object and slowly working your way up, visualizing more complex objects one at a time until you become satisfied with your visualization.
      Summary of the Visualization Skill
      This skill is all about looking at an object and asking yourself how it should look, feel, take up space, etc. For example, if you have grass in your wonderland, one could ask about the color of the grass, the height and shape of the blades, what species of grass it is, if it’s made out of cotton candy, the texture of the grass, how it feels when you walk in it, etc. The more questions you can answer, the more information you will have about that particular object. Having more information allows you to visualize the details of that object more effectively and thus requiring a lot of your attention to create the object’s image.
      A Detailed Walkthrough
      Before you sit down to visualize your wonderland, your images may be foggy and you may have a bunch of distracting thoughts that are far more interesting than blurry, incomprehensible images. In this state, remember that your visualization is not bad, you’re just distracted and your visualization will get better.
      The first step is to get in a comfortable position and think about slowing down. If you want to, doing a form of relaxation breathing may be helpful for getting settled.
      Next, start with taking a simple object such as a sphere or a cube. What color is the sphere? Is it smooth or bumpy? Is it soft and squishy or firm like a billiard ball? What is the temperature of the sphere? Continue to visualize your simple object until you are satisfied and or bored.
      Next, slowly move onto the next object. Suppose the next object is a tree. Is it a real tree or a fantasy creation? How tall is it? Could you climb it if you wanted to? Is the season changing the colors of the leaves? Is there a tree shape that “feels right?” As you visualize more and more details, your tree will feel more and more real.
      If you feel satisfied with your visualization, then congratulations, you achieve better visualization! If you still feel like your visualization is still fuzzy or you are bored, slowly move onto an even more sophisticated object or instead look around you and visualize the ground, the sky, your Tulpa, any other neighboring objects, etc.
      The key to this method is slowing down and shifting your attention to what you are visualizing. If you get bored and you warp yourself to a parade or a war zone, that can lead you to getting distracted again.
      More complex objects are supposed to be interesting for you to look at. If a tree isn’t to your taste, you could also do furniture, a vending machine, a weapon, etc. I recommend picking something you find interesting, because why have it in your wonderland if you don’t like it? Visualizing moving objects are fine as long as it is not your starting object. I don’t recommend loud or overwhelming objects because the point is to calm down and focus, not feel overwhelmed and become distracted. Unless you are really comfortable with what your Tulpa’s form looks like, I don’t recommend starting off with that. Like any other complex object, their form may be too much for you to focus on right now, but it won’t be after you built your way up to that level of complexity. If your Tulpa is sentient, they can guide you to look at certain things, or they may ask for you to visualize something for them. Why not, right? They may surprise you with a real treat! In Conclusion
      Once you feel comfortable with your visualization, have fun! Now that your visualizations are stable, you can go ahead and visualize exciting things like flying on dragons or shooting aliens in space since your mind is so focused on the wonderland you most likely forgot about whatever else was distracting you and your immediate surroundings in real life.
      Submitted for Guides.
    • Shadow System
      By Shadow System
      [Exabier] We have a wonderland problem. Gray is afraid of controlling us when he's not actually talking to us. Talking gets pretty boring after awhile compared to all of the actual cool stuff like having sword fights, shooting bad guys, whatever. He gets the fear from watching us do stuff and thinks it's sometimes like parroting his story characters, whatever those are.
      [Fernardo] Gray has reported watching us and it feeling "fake" for whatever reason. Perhaps it was because we were acting "too silly" or "too predictable" or whatever the excuse. I don't know if this has anything to do with "coming to life" feelings he reported in the past or if this is another form of Gray's parrotnoia. Like Exabier said, Gray hasn't felt comfortable to go on a wonderland adventure with us in a long time, and most of everyone would like for that to change.
      [Blue] Is there something we can do to help him calm down or reassure him that it's still us? Are there certain things we need to avoid like busy amusement parks or intense action scenes?
    • MyNameIsLee
      By MyNameIsLee
      Y'know how people say lucid dreaming feels as real as the real world? Is it the same for a wonderland/mindscape? I've had lucid dreams in the past and the way people describe their wonderland reminds me of lucid dreams sometimes.
      So basically, does wonderland feel as real as the real world?
    • Jamie
      By Jamie
      We're talking about a part of a median system here, not a tulpa, but I figured, there is still a lot to talk about. Our wonderland was intentionally designed, there wasn't really any "inner world" stuff going on, if that makes a difference. 
      Just a few days ago, though there have been signs of this part for years and years, I finally got to see one part of Jamie's median system-self clearly: a toddler, somewhere around 12-18 months old, who we nicknamed Sunshine. I've talked with 7-year-old down to 4-year-old parts, but this is the first really little part I've ever interacted with. 
      One of the very interesting things, being co-conscious and being privy to his mental processing/thoughts, is just how vastly different it is compared to the older children, let alone the not-littles. There's very little verbal processing, it's a lot more like tulpish, or raw experience, just an unfiltered experience of the world, though he does say a few words, and understands enough to respond to some basic questions. It's just been really fasinating to be able to experience it secondhand and see how incredibly different that state or frame of mind is.
      I saw a few signs early, but only this morning did I really home in on it: Sunshine experiences wonderland quite differently, as well. I'm really not sure he even understands it's not reality. (Even though, you know, I'm a green smoke person, and he's never commented on that) One of the first signs was when he fell over (ruh-roh) and, pretty much everyone else would not simulate this, but I felt him experience pain, and pressure, and everything that goes along with smacking your head on the floor. And when I would hold him, pretty much everyone does, consciously, try to experience as much warmth and comfort as they can, but he wasn't trying at all, and was experiencing much more realistic detail and depth to the wonderland experience. 
      This morning I had Cassidy, Sunshine, and another (4-year old) little, and we were all eating yogurt in wonderland, and I realized, oh, wow. Sunshine's experience was indistinguishable from an IRL sensory experience. It felt basically the same as if the body was eating yogurt, and I was co-con with whoever was controlling the body. But just for him- not me, not Cassidy, not the other little. 
      I really suspect it has to do with his frame of mind. I feel like a lot of immersion is about "turning off" mental filters that go, "This isn't real, it's not vivid as reality, etc, etc," and when you turn those off, it becomes vivid and real. I'd say it's almost like wonderland is a dream, and only Sunshine is lucid. It's only really real to him.
      ...How can I use this to my advantage? Do you think there's a way to "flip the switch" for other headmates? Effortless, complete wonderland immersion? That sounds like fun. I mean, on the downside, he hasn't demonstrated any ability to alter the wonderland in any fashion- to him, it works 100% by reality's rules, he can't summon anything up, teleport, etc.  
      Jamie experienced something like this once, using an hour-long hypnosis video meant to simulate an acid trip, of all things. It took wonderland from 40% immersion to 80%, but only for a short time, and that felt a lot more dream/trancelike- Sunshine is not in a trance to achieve this immersion, while it's still entirely effortless. 
      - Gavin
    • DreamDoll
      By DreamDoll
      I am part of a median system, not a tulpa system.  But I still have a "wonderland" of a sort that I call the "dreamscape" or "the Melian Show."  It's a day dreamy place, very dreamlike, and it is constantly changing. It's like a movie set. There are a few more static areas that don't change, like my dreamscape mansion, but the rest shifts and changes like the scenes in a movie or tv show. 
      I have read accounts from tulpamancers who have created extremely detailed wonderlands for their tulpas that are very precise.  They tend to not change a lot and are sometimes limited in scope, but have a lot of clarity.  
      I was wondering about the wonderlands each of you have?  Is your wonderland dynamic, as in ever changing, or more static and detailed and possibly limited in scope?  I thought a poll would be nice on this one.
  • Create New...