Beginner Questions General

[Guest]

New valid question...

 

Dashie is laughing about it, Ashley says it's a non-issue, but the way she said it didn't instill confidence.

 

So what happened this morning was that Dashie and I were talking about the possible challenge of her being switched in all day, and just with talking to her she was switching in while we were walking. Like she'd switch in to give her responses. It was a little freeky just how fluidly and effortlessly we did it, and now I'm concerned that long exposure to her 'switched in' might actually make it harder for me to stay front.

 

I know everyone says, what's the big deal, but call me selfish then. How do I strengthen the walls between is so she doesn't accidentally steal front.

 

If you hate that question, then I'll ask it conversely, how do we strengthen the walls so that Ashley doesn't lose front so easily when she tries to force me?

 

The switching guides make a big deal about preparation to switch and then switching back as taking concentration, effort, or even some symbolism, but because of the forcing filter experiment, we trained to switch instantly without any symbolism, as a result the switch is very fluid and esaily changed in and out, it literally takes no thought to switch, which worries me now. I don't want Dashie to switch in every time I talk to her. It's not happening now because we're aware of it, but it freeked me out a bit. Ashley has also been switching in during longer posts or chatting.

 

It's cool, I'm not scared or anything, but we're pressing pause on the challenge so we can put the safeties on.

 

Looking for a little help here.

 

BTW, Ashley's words were, 'Dashie's a good gal, you trust her, so I'm sure she'll do a fine job.' Her meaning was, if she switches in accidentally or can't switch back out, she'll do what's right (basically pretend to be me). She doesn't want it to come to that either, though her giggling isn't giving me any warm fuzzy feelings either, especially as she joked 'it'll be fine, you won't feel a thing.' (I swear, if we were in New York...)

[Breloomancer]

Are you concerned about not being able to switch back or accedentally switching?

[Guest]

Are you concerned about not being able to switch back or accedentally switching?

 

Well, I trust Dashie whole heatedly, but she can block me. I'm not so worried that she'll go rogue and block me out or that I can't take it back, the issue is accidental switches, they're distracting at the bare minimum, and worrisome at worst.

[Piano Soul]

Accidental switching is kinda just something that happens. Something might get someone's attention and cause them to unknowingly take over the front. We tend to either just let it happen or go "oh yeah, I'm not supposed to be fronting right now" and switch back. Perhaps what may help is if you guys declared "this time is for this person, nobody else should take over" or something like that. Other than that it's just sort of something that happens. Ensuring one has a strong mental hold can help but isn't foolproof.

 

In terms of remaining in the front without losing it, well that's just something that gets better with practice.

[Guest]

Thanks Piano, but you could say I've been practicing all my life and I'm still not good at it. Lol. I do like the statement that 'this is X's time'. We like rules, we're really good at following rules internally, so we could make it a rule, but it's accidental, so that's not really going to be fair. However, symbolically that does hold power. I'm holding the front for now, so we could put up a sign too.

 

I'm just wondering if there's some sort of safety system we could instill, has anyone else dealt with this issue and resolved it? Or is it like Piano says and since we're new with switching, it just takes practice keeping to ourselves?

[Lucilyn]

well, since we always use visualization symbolism for switching, we avoid mixups like that. We never switch too quickly and end up confused! And the one time we did was when we were switching back and forth more than once a minute while playing a game so we could all take our own turns in it, we got confused and took someone else's turn a couple times - hard to say if that was just getting carried away, though. Anywaays, probably make a bigger deal about switching? I don't doubt that you can learn to switch that quickly, but we always take our time to avoid just that, weakening the "walls" and accidental switching (but more likely switching back than switching in...) and stuff

 

also... NOT switching just to talk to each other ???

that's like.. that's like... that's like one of you walking all the way into and the other out of a house just to talk to each other through a window that was already open? when you could just talk to each other from where you were? I guess...

[Guest]

also... NOT switching just to talk to each other ???

that's like.. that's like... that's like one of you walking all the way into and the other out of a house just to talk to each other through a window that was already open? when you could just talk to each other from where you were? I guess...

 

Dashie was hanging too far out the window, while I was leaning in?

 

We weren't getting confused, she's pretty dang different than me and I know what it feels like when she fronts, it feels good, but it was just distracting and then I started to worry.

 

Well, here's the issue. We can switch when I let go, but now I kinda let go too freely. Symbolism and slow switching has meant that I'm concentrating on switching which blocks the switch.

 

So using that logic, I concentrate on trying to switch to prevent switches.

 

We're going to try to take a break from switching freely by any means, (i'm still open to suggestions) now that I'm a little concerned that might be good enough for now. I'll report our results in my next PR maybe.

 

Thanks Lucilyn.

[Ember.Vesper]

Taking time to use symbolism would interfere with the purposes for which we switch. We sometimes switch back and forth every few seconds for a couple of hours while talking to people out-system. The key there is to not think about fronting as such, just about what you want to do. Within that context, whoever is acting is usually switched in automatically, though sometimes we have no idea who is controlling the rest of the body. Maybe the body OS can handle it's own itches.

 

But there is still a level of intent involved in switching. If we're intentionally trying to hold back from switching, we can speak through the fronter, possessively, and our presence, however powerful, immediately pulls back from the body when we stop talking. We sometimes use that as an alternative to mindvoice when no one else is around, mainly because Vesper's spoken voice has a much more consistent "sound" than her mindvoice.

 

That may be your solution, Bear. Any conditions under which you would normally automatically switch, the incoming partner needs to concentrate on holding back from it if they want to avoid it. Eventually, you can create new habits, a new normal. I don't think you need to hold back on total switched time, just on learning how to resist triggers.

 

The outgoing partner could probably learn to resist too, but we've fallen into the habit of allowing the incoming partner nearly complete control of the switch.

 

Actual accidental switches have been very rare for us since we started doing it intentionally, except during hypnopompia, where we blur and blend with one another and with dream characters (one called Felight) and there's no telling which of the three of us will come out of the disorientation first and end up in control.

 

-Ember

[Guest]

We talked it over and we're gonna chill with the whole idea of leisure switching for a bit. We have a purpose to switching (the triggered switching) and it works for us, so let's get some ancillary experience that way, especially with Ashley, since it's happening with her a lot. If B can control that, then we'll feel a lot more comfortable. (I think he likes it too much.)

 

[bear] Dashie and I talked in wonderland for my exercise this morning and we didn't see an issue. Earlier this morning we were both getting excited about switching for a day and the body was like, hey, let's do this! We just kinda did, it's pretty clear now that we were gung-ho and it just happened unexpectedly. I'm a switching prude I guess.

 

I think we're going to be fine. We don't want to move away from the triggered switching, that's our superpower, so to speak. Also, only Ashley has ever done posessive talking, and that was just reading a book to some children one or two times, it was fun-ish, but out mindvoices are really clear and repeatable.

 

Thanks everyone; what an awsome turn out for this oddball question! We have a lot to think about and it's fun thinking about this 'problem' for a change.

[GeorgeTownRaja]

How can I touch my tulpa sexually? I'm not trying to be a perv or anything. I'm just curious.