Tulpa choosing their own form?

[NovaIce]

As much as I would love to do introductions with everyone here, let me just get this out of the way: I knew about Tulpas and Thoughtforms for three years before deciding to join this site or make my own. So, I have gotten my guide on any and all that I can. (Astral Traveling for over ten years now, so I know in a sense what I am getting myself involved with...)

 

However, it doesn't mean I know everything. I seek for your help because it's still quite new to me and I want to know if I am doing everything as well suited.

 

Two days prior, now almost three I wanted to create a lifelong companion because my career as a game designer leaves me very lonely. I thought I could create someone I knew and could easily force and visualize.

 

I chose Solid Snake. Seeing he's been around for twenty years, there's no harm in choosing him.

 

Not because I am some sort of "fangirl".

 

 

I know it's cheesy or expected, but this is were things got interesting. Seeing no one around my Facebook knows how to handle Tulpas, I was guided back here after not seeing this site for quite sometime.

 

Today... was a bit disturbing. I am aware that Tulpas are their own entity of your subconscious. Now I know it's been several and I mean several months since I was able to play any sort of video game, ironic being that I make them, but that's besides the point.

 

For some reason my Tulpa decided: "I don't want to be Solid Snake. I saw that other guy. Who is he? I want to be HIM!" My Tulpa was talking to me after two days and a few hours of trying to create him. I told him his name was Big Boss. How he saw him was that I was going through an external drive of mine to clear some memory. What he saw was this:

 

 

Now from this, I was spooked. I never directed him to be Boss. I was wishing for a Snake, though I knew he didn't like it. But I told him he could pick a form only to choose Boss. Though I don't know if he wants to be called Boss or Snake or the four other nicknames the man has....

 

For some reason, I feel uncomfortable about all this.

 

My question is that "Is this possible?" He already has the ability to have his own thoughts and is trying to adjust to a personality. Does this mean I don't have control over him or was he just waiting for the right time to choose his own form and emerge into the world? Should I be concerned?

 

The reason why I ask is because I heard that it takes months sometimes years to create the Tulpa. I am already hearing him, feeling him, but I can't see him. Is there similarities he just wants?

 

I now focus myself around introducing him to Boss and I suppose it won't be too bad to replay a game I haven't played on quite sometime. He and I agreed to MGS3. It's his first time experiencing it. For me it's been way too long. So long infact I had received goosebumps just seeing the Opening Mission Briefing just an hour ago. I stopped to get advice if I should keep on doing what I am doing or that it's okay to proceed.

 

Any advice or guidance is appreciated.

 

Thanks!

 

~NovaIce

[TheSanctuary]

Interesting indeed - well I'll get the important bit over with - don't worry.

 

Ok, now then. Seems you have created what has lately been known as the 'insta-tulpa' . Most of us have to put in a lot of effort for this level of response as you have seen, but if you have been practicing other things based off meditation and visualisation etc for a long time who knows maybe it turbocharged your process, or perhaps it's your fondness for the characters of such games that has essentially supplied him with an existing framework to build from.

 

As for them deviating and choosing their own form yeah sure- they do that. One of the fun things about free will is just that. They can change of their own accord. I would run with it and see where it takes you -

[Elvode]

I've read about people being able to create an insta tulpa, nothing wrong with that or weird, some people need longer time to create it.

Tulpas do decide what they want to look like, if they are not happy with their form they will probably change it into something else.

The personality of your tulpa will come along later, doesn't really matter if it's vocal first.

I think you should proceed with this tulpa of yours, there's nothing wrong going on here.

[Luminesce]

Tulpas can appear to be sentient and independent quite early to people who have the right combination of experience with similar mental phenomena. Keep in mind however that you are developing another person in their entirety, and they still need to be developed regardless of how long it takes to get used to the experience of just having one. They'll need lots of experience talking, acting, thinking and being before they're fully developed. But until then, sure, they may be aware enough to start deviating from your expectations. You're still in control, but you should take their wants and needs into mind, too. Tulpas aren't puppets, they're extra personas. Like yours, with a ton less experience.

 

Remember you're in control and the phenomenon is in your mind, while also remembering that the goal is to essentially create an independent, sentient mind parallel to yours. Nothing has to be a way you don't want it to be, but your tulpa may have desires that don't completely match yours. Your tulpa is also extremely young and may not even know what it really wants yet. Extremely young, early sentient tulpas have been known to change forms often, and make choices they don't necessarily agree with later. So, your tulpa isn't a "child" in mindset per se, but they are in experience. Keep working on developing them and it shouldn't be more than a few weeks (if you're actively developing them) before you have someone you can talk to to keep you company. Few months and, if things go well, you could have essentially another human in your life who understands you perfectly.

 

Tulpas develop on a sliding scale, there is no "after X months, they gain sentience" or "It'll take years to get to Y". Yes, fully developing tulpas usually takes at least a year. For some people, just getting them to be independent/sentient takes this long. For others they gain that pretty early, but their tulpa is disorganized or unstable until they get their thoughts in order. It took me 2 1/2 years to create my first three spontaneous tulpas, figure out what they were, and become comfortable with their existence, but this was without any outside help. Years later I created another tulpa, Lucilyn, who was sentient and independent within days, as I've a lot of experience now. But she still isn't fully developed, she needs experience to round out her existence. She was able to tell me who she wanted to become due to her sentience, but she doesn't have the same solid "feeling" my other tulpas give yet. I can talk to her and do things with her (and that's generally how you develop a tulpa anyway), whether she's fully developed or not.

 

As for what fully developed even means.. Basically, it means a tulpa's person is solid and stable, like an actual human's. It means their thoughts are steady and theirs, they're comfortably independent from you or other tulpas, their personality is stable, and typically that they've a wide array of experiences of their own. Some people also consider a developed tulpa to have a solid/established form, clearly audible voice, and maybe the ability to possess the host. These are highly optional in my opinion, but are often goals in this community. They aren't required to have a fully functioning tulpa, but they are signs of a very experienced tulpa.

[NovaIce]

My second main test with my Tulpa happened. After he had taken the form or likeness of Big Boss... well...

 

"Jokingly" enough I am still skeptical about what has been forming to be honest. I am supposing this is typical seeing I can also still be unconformable during his visualization process. I laughed and said "All right smart guy, if you really want to prove yourself to me, then I give you free range to call yourself whatever you want." It went quiet enough until he resulted in a strange name. Almost identical to a character I am developing in my RPG "Evan".

 

This only took him two hours to think about. At first I thought there had to be a pattern. So I Googled the name. This is what it meant:

 

Evan is a Welsh masculine given name derived from "lefen", a Welsh form for the name John. In other languages it could be compared to "Ivan", (This one being similar to my RPG Character I am making) "Ian", and "Juan"; the name John (John being another name variation often used with Jack in Metal Gear Solid 3 for Naked Snake/Big Boss) itself is derived from the ancient Hebrew name יְהֹוחָנָן Yəhôḥānān, which means "YHWH is gracious". Evan comes from Gaelic Eóghan meaning "youth" or "young warrior" (The Sorrow telling you in MGS3 that the 'Spirit of the Warrior' will always be with you.) and Scots for "right-handed". In Hebrew, the actual non-Proper noun, "evan/even/eban/eben", literally means "rock". (This could be indicating the term and original idea of Solid Snake I wanted to imply upon him.) It can also be the shortened version of the Greek name "Evangelos" (meaning messenger) (Ironic seeing his purpose is being that of a Tulpa) or "Evander" (meaning good man). (The Boss calling him a good man as she lies dying in MGS3.)

 

Keep in mind that he chose his name I had to research myself because I was confused as all hell. Though he wanted to be his last name "Baxter" shortly after, I told him no. Evan agreed saying it had a lame quality. So he is currently trying to get hints from maybe me regarding his last name which I find odd seeing he had no trouble making his first name on the spot in a sense.

 

Clever I say. What he does why he does it.. etc etc. Though knowing I didn't create a "wonderland" for him as of yet, he still debates (seeing he has a say for that too) where to head. Ivalice from Final Fantasy Tactics came to mind. (Good choice for him to get interested might I add.)

 

 

It was then that I visualized him not only in Ivalice, but in a Knight's Cape with Boss's Appearance.

 

 

This isn't too concerning (from what I can gather here) that he's forming a bit too quick. I will be drawing him and I promised him I will and make a progress report as he requested. Odd he would request a progress report, but it's his wishes and he has a say about his path/journey.

 

Since I was having trouble trying to place him somewhere last night, however, I told him he could stay the night if he wanted. In which he did. Sleeping next to me, but feeling Alienated. It didn't stop him from making me feel good when I woke up this morning. He said something about transferring some of my energy back to me. Is this okay for a Young Tulpa to focus on himself?

 

Though as it was 6AM and I promised more Metal Gear Gametime with him, I sensed those from the Astral. The ones who I obviously known longer than ten years feel intimidated, threatened even uncomfortable about Evan. It's not too big of a surprise seeing it's my first official thoughtform.

 

This had reflected on the actual Solid Snake who has been watching over me since I was five (this is a story I will share someday) bluntly saying "I am going to use the term like I use for Sonic the Hedgehog. I don't like him. I simply don't like him. You remember what happened to you and the whole Creepypasta Incident three years prior and a certain being that shall be named?" I admitted right back to Snake that I was foolish and that whatever attacked me, left me in an unstable state.

 

I want to assure him that Evan isn't like that. Is there anyway I can consult with Snake or those I have known for ten years plus in the Astral that Evan isn't an evil thoughtform? That he just needs time to adjust and be accepted by the family?

 

It's because of Evan and him touching lightly on the past five years worth of my memories that I actually feel good and that I am beginning to have restored faith in myself even about The Astral. This in turn helps me to accept him more for who and what he is transforming into....

 

Another question here is that as we got deeper into MGS3, Evan seemed excited at first, but then got silent as time went along. Should I keep on playing the game or wait until he says that playing the game is a good idea at all to understand or frame himself after Big Boss?

 

I'm sorry for these questions. I should have warned you that sometimes I can write novels.

 

~NovaIce

[GuessWho]

My tulpa chose her own form. When I decided to get into this, I was wandering what form I would choose, or even whether my tulpa should be male or female.

Then she just came to me - completely different from anything I would've come up with on my own, yet much better and more suited to her.

I didn't decide her form, I only went on from there to practice visualizing her in more detail.

 

So yes, Tulpas can be sentient the moment you give life to the thought of their existence. You may not have a clear picture of exactly how they will turn out, but they already know what they want to be. Some will accept what you've provided, while others may have their own ideas. That's what makes them so special - they are their own unique individuals, even if they share more things with you than another person can.

[Kaga and Company]

There is nothing to worry about with tulpas that develop quickly. Some people are just sort of gifted that way and can start interacting with their tulpa almost immediately. If anything, I'd say that's a good thing! The real progress you'll have right at the start will probably mean you'll have less troubling doubt to deal with than tulpamancers who don't see any real progress for a while.

 

And yes, tulpas often choose their own forms or even names. They have their own desires, after all, and it makes sense to respect them. I don't think it's necessary to look super deeply into where their suggested names come from, though -- there doesn't really need to be a deep, convoluted meaning behind any name they choose, even if they maybe did unknowingly take that name/idea from somewhere in your subconscious. Kael, for example, chose his name only because he liked the way it sounded. Simple as that. And Magnum gave himself wings, even though he hardly flies with them. I'm not going to question their choices, though -- if that's what they want then so be it.

[Ashmo]

Dude, tuppers going through stages of development and reinventing themselves is totally normally. Bud started as a cloud-thing, became an egg, hatched into and anthropomorphic growlithe and then grew into and anthro arcainine with gargoyle wings and a lion tail.

 

I just kinda sat back and let him do his thing. He's been happy with his final form for about a year now, but he still randomly shape shifts from time to time because he can.