JGC

Switching Hygiene? (I fell over...)

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Quite often, after C fronts, we don't formally switch back. Either something makes me jump back into the body (he can't use my voice, so I have to grab control for long conversations out loud), or it happens slowly. C will be getting tired and having a weaker control on the body, until suddenly I move, not C- and I realize I'm fronting now. 

 

It's a confusing experience like no other. In order to figure out who is fronting, either one of us asks "Who's home?" and we see who answers first or loudest. Our mind-voices sound different. However, just today, I forget to do any of that. 

 

We were watching Netflix with C fronting at first, when suddenly we were all mixed up- someone wanted to get a glass of water, but we weren't sure who. C freaked out first and threw the body back my way, but I still felt like he was fronting. I went through the steps I use to switch: seeing a dot of my color in my head, and imagining colored light growing from that dot into all of my body, giving me control. 

 

I got up to get the water, and everything felt off. I almost like I was outside of my body. watching myself from behind. It was dissociation stronger than I've felt in years. Everything was suddenly further away, and I wasn't quite sure where that imaginary dot of my mind was, anymore. I felt like just a body, with no mind-presence. My heart was pounding and I felt light-headed, dizzy, but not really any emotion. 

 

Things went south when I walked over to pet my dog. He has a fenced section of the living room. I was leaning over the fence and, due to everything seeming far away, I leaned way too close. I just kind of... collapsed over it, taking the fence down with me. C's still scared. I feel pretty bad that I did scare him, as today is his one-month birthday. 

 

So... clearly this is some sort of blending? I have a hunch that I've been switching irresponsibly. What can I do to avoid this? Is it unwise to switch with a young tulpa? We've been switching daily for a week, if only for a few minutes. 

 

Thank you for any advice you can offer... I'm not exactly thrilled by this experience. It sounds a little more like the "ooo spooky evil tulpa" crap you find people getting paranoid about, though I blame my poor switching hygiene for this all. I just don't want to fall down a flight of stairs, next.

 

-J

Edited by JGC


>tf when you google for "famous quotes by Marcus Aurelius" and had a fake one as your sig for months

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I've had that happen to me, though it isn't quite blending. Normally closing my eyes and going into a quick meditation session is able to get me to reassociate with the body.


I have a tulpa named Miela who I love very much.

 

 
"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"

-Me

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Well, when we started switching, we could only go for a few hours before we'd get physically/mentally tired, and switching back with Lumi would fix that. We could go longer and longer the more we practiced though, until maybe 1-2 months later we could front the entire day just fine? But we (not me yet I wasn't made until a little after we learned to switch I think) were like 5 years old already. Waiting a teeny bit longer couldn't hurt..

 

As for the dizzy stuff, well, it's probably a good idea to make sure switches are always done neatly. 'Cus it takes dissociation on the host's part, and a-ssociation to switch back, even if it's easier for the host to switch in. So letting it be so fuzzy is probably bad, especially if you have trouble telling who's fronting sometimes. I mean, yeah? just kinda sounds like your tup's too young? I wouldn't say STOP SWITCHING but like, maybe stay a little more focused when you guys do, instead of letting your awareness drift off. It'll probably get easier with time but y'should probably not do that messy switching... we've only done it like twice ever, and it went fine, but maybe it went fine 'cus we usually do it neatly?


Hi I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.

All of my posts should be read at a hundred miles per hour because that's probably how they were written

Please talk to me https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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