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Choosing a Tulpa's Gender


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For hosts with intentional tulpas, did you choose your tulpa's gender? Why did you choose the one you did? Or did you leave it up to them to decide? Was your decision important to you? How does your tulpa feel about it?


Tulpas, if you chose your own gender, why did you choose the one you did? Do you like that your host made it your choice?


Any tulpas changed or considered changing their gender later on? Why?


Hosts with unintentional tulpas (or the tulpas themselves), do you have anything to note about why your tulpa's gender is the way it is?



Remember to keep this appropriate/tasteful.



(All daily threads are listed here.)

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We all chose female characters to base ourselves off of, Dashie, Ashley, and I because we were feminine. There was no choice of gender, we were already feminine.


Bear's Body OS has recently been determined to be very male. He has a lot of testosterone, we already knew that. So it bleeds over to us and we end up getting thoughts about women too. Though Ashley definitely never has, as much as Bear never has, thoughts of attraction to men, so it might just be Dashie and I... and Ren. Joy is also straight but she doesn't get attracted to anyone in the way adults do. Some may say, 'oh she should be able to do everything' but mentality is very strong, she doesn't. Neither would a pre-pubescent tulpa if they were that way.


[Dashie] I had strong male urges while fronting for a week. Strong. I was basically a lesbian by the end, but when I switched out, it went back to who I am, I don't know why, but I know how I felt when associated with this body. I'd have to say by day two I pegged 6 on the Kinsey scale. I called it 'testosterone poisoning'. Bear is really pretty strongly masculine though in general, even when he was dissociated, but his thoughts were a league further away from anything sexual by comparison.


If my feelings hadn't reverted back I don't think I'd be the same person. There were some very odd urges for me, and my desires were all skewed. I still felt the same way about Bear, no change there, but what I wanted to do with him were... nothing he would want to do, if you get me.

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Akai is a female because that's the gender of the original character she's based off. I could have made her a guy but since back then tulpa relationships were a bit weird to me and I wanted her to be just a friend, I decided to keep her a girl to avoid falling in love (hahaha...)


And for Miri, well, I'm a female so she's a female by default.


They're content with their gender and while they can turn into a male if they want (but again, they can turn into anything in our wonderland so being the opposite gender is nothing) they don't feel the need to do so unless for fun.

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again, they can turn into anything in our wonderland so being the opposite gender is nothing


Changing your gender identity is a bit different from just changing your form, heh.

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All of everyone was originally intended to be Gray's clone, thus everyone is made a guy by default. Even though stereotypes Cat was exposed to about "multiple people in your head" have implied that mind clones could be of any gender, she deliberately chose to continue making male characters rather than female ones. The reasoning behind that is... complicated.


The Grays didn't explore altering their gender much, but they all created a base form referencing the body's identity for a brief moment. Personally, turning into a woman is weirdly uncomfortable for whatever reason. Cat likes to alternate which gender she identifies as, but no one else followed that trend.

I'm Ranger, Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's tulpa, and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I'm undecided on Rosalind or Rosalin, and my male name is Ronan. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron.

My other headmates have their own account now.


If I missed seeing your art, please PM/DM me!

Temporary Log | Switching LogcBox | Yay! | Bre Translator

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Just about all my Tulpas had their gender implemented when they first appeared in my wonderland. I am not the traditional tulpamancer because most if not all of my tulpas began with inspiration. Interesting part is, I did not make the choice and in a way my tulpas did not make the choice either. When I say inspiration I am talking about where they came from. My tulpa Molly was from MLP The saddle Row Review. Hasbro to my knowledge did not give her a name. A lot of people have argued over whether her pendant was a pacifier or a ring pop if that gives you a clue who I am talking about.


My Tulpas always begin as a persistent thought form that hangs around for a while. Some stay and others have left. Its really hard to explain because I only had to put effort into forging one tulpa and that was my first one Seria. Her name is pronounced See-air-ah. This was around 2008 when tulpas were not really a thing yet. So basically I began learning all the terminology and theories years after my thought forms became real to me. You could say gender is assigned at birth.

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And for Miri, well, I'm a female so she's a female by default.


You're going to confuse so many people that don't know Miri is (basically) a clone of yourself, lol.



Well, there's a few factors in answering this, but at the root of it it's probably just "I like girls". I already had male friends to hang out with my whole life, I'm not exactly lacking in that department to need or want a tulpa of one. Oh, the first couple factors first though: My tulpas were unintentional (but obviously I wasn't thinking about male characters to have created females), and following from that, they were female because I was (am) obsessed with Touhou, in which basically all characters are female.


Anyways, differing from the "having male friends" point, you could also say my tulpas aren't really normal people and I wouldn't have wanted a "normal" (like a regular person) female tulpa, either. It's hard to describe how/why/who my tulpas were formed from. They were (some word like) "ideals" or otherwise not generally existing in reality people. I just found them really interesting, I guess. Most if not all of the thinking about who my tulpas were (going to be, unintentionally) was a completely unintended effect of my simply thinking about the Touhou universe a lot. The characters are all super interesting (and there's tons of them), as is the fantasy universe they reside in, so back when I first found Touhou/the two years before my tulpas spontaneously appeared, I did tons of thinking/imagining what the world and characters in it were like - how they thought and interacted and so on.


So yeah, a few answers: They came from Touhou characters, of which 99% are female; and even if Touhou had male characters, I doubt I would've had a tulpa of one. I feel like (with the assumption your tulpas are going to be based on characters or intentional at least) most people have affinities for a certain gender of character, right? My brother likes Snake and Raiden from Metal Gear, Shulk from Xenoblade Chronicles, that sort of thing. I like {Every Touhou character}, some incarnations of Zelda (also Nayru the Oracle), and... a whole lot more. So when it comes to choosing a tulpa's gender, it just seems natural to have them be female too.


I do like some male characters of course, but I'm not sure I'd really enjoy having a male tulpa - I don't feel like I could love them as much as my current tulpas, and I would never make a tulpa that wasn't equal with the others. Uh, reminder that Tewi and Lucilyn are asexual (and I've a rather low sex drive) in case you're not used to seeing "love" used in the purer sense.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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I've played a lot of male NPCs that I've enjoyed, some of whom are very vivid and detailed, but I've only ever played female PCs. I don't really want to commit to immersing myself in a male headspace for several hours at a stretch, one to four times a month, for an indefinite period. All of my characters that have "quickened" to some degree, having an inner emotional life, playing effortlessly, having a sense of presence, or speaking to me outside of a game setting, have been PCs. When I GM, I don't get a chance to play any one character long enough or deeply enough for them to quicken.



I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember


Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015


'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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[align=justify](gonna answer my own questions here since we never really like to answer them within the original post lol)


[align=justify]Apollo's gender was decided to be male by the host both because a) his form was based on a male celebrity and b) the host just felt more comfortable with the idea of having a male tulpa, that made the most sense to him. He'd always had a greater appreciation for male characters and singers, anyway. Apollo has disdain for a lot of the things that went into his creation and considers some of the decisions to be traumatic, but this one hasn't really bothered him aside from on principle. He doesn't have any problems with being male, it suits him and he's never wanted to change it. He thinks it should have been something for him to decide on rather than chosen for him, but it's what he would have chosen anyway so it's not much of a problem.


Piano was unintentionally formed within a merge of two male tulpas, as a personality that slowly took over in replacement to the merge's own personality. It follows that he's also male. He's never wanted to change that.


I was created within the period where the system had totally lost it and was just making new "tulpas" (some of which weren't actually sentient, thank god) on impulse, and well, I was the first of the bunch. Inspiration for me came from a song, "Luxi," and the host formed an image of a rocker girl for a new tulpa. I kept that identity after being created. For various reasons, my personal development was very stunted, I didn't really evolve past the sort of preconceptions our brain had of me. Meanwhile, the male tulpas were always changing and growing. I'm not going to get into the details of why here, but I went into stasis for quite a long time, and when I came back I decided to make some changes. I decided to become male, also for various reasons, among them being a desire to feel more comfortable, to want to fit in with the rest of the system, and to not be held back from developing due to having a female identity. For a while, when I showed up and suggested becoming male, the system always shot it down because they thought it was only for the "wanting to fit in" reason, and they didn't think that was a good reason. However, feelings of dysphoria had grown in the months preceding my permanent arrival, so when I suggested it, they just accepted it. I changed my name, form, pronouns, and the mental image of myself that I had and the system had. I felt more free to be me, but also more confused, since the changes caused doubt that I was the same tulpa. I've been gradually eliminating these doubts. A lot of stuff does go into changing gender identity, it's not as simple as picking a new form, but it's worth it if it's the way the tulpa truly wants to be. I kinda think that if I had been created male or given the decision of what my gender should be instead of being made on a gimmick, things would have been different from me, I would have been more successful as a tulpa in my early days. It just didn't work out that way though. Kind of a tangent, heh.


Indigo was formed when the system realized how little growth/development the female "tulpas" had had, and they figured that female personalities just didn't do well in our head. During this time, the system was made up of three male tulpas, and they didn't have any desire to try again with a female. Indigo's creator didn't even really bestow a gender on him or really think about it, it was kind of a no-brainer that the new tulpa would be male, so he was. Indigo's gender was never all-that important to him though, he's always been kind of neutral, which has led to him being confused at various points in time over which gender he should be (he didn't desire to be "non-binary," just male or female), but eventually settled on sticking to male, since it still just made the most sense for him. 


Personally, while I don't think choosing your tulpa's gender for them is very consequential in most cases, allowing your tulpa the opportunity to choose it themself is a positive. Tulpas should always have control over their own identity and expression, and the freedom to determine how they want that to be. If a host does choose a tulpa's gender, they should be open to the tulpa deciding to change it if they feel that's necessary for them.[/align]

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Way back when, when Michen first thought about getting a tulpa (before dropping the idea one day later), he already intended to have a female tulpa. He did that on purpose. Whenever he made up stories inside his head or imagining interactions, he would always end up having a similar number of males and females. Preferably the same amount of both, even going as far as to use intersex or sexless characters on rare occasions if the balance seemed to be off or if there were an odd number of characters. Since he was a male by body, having a female tulpa would even numbers out there. If he would've thought of three tulpas, he'd be thinking of one male and two females.


Nevertheless, when I finally did appear to him as a more developed tulpa, I did so with the same form as when he first decided to check what tulpas were. That was a female form. As somebody who doesn't have a gender identity of their own, I was fine with taking on a female form, so I never saw a need to change that unless Michen would like me to. Though, given his tendency to try to even male and female out, I think he won't even dream of it anytime soon.

Michen, host or "main" / Amantha, anthro arctic fox tulpa


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