Jump to content

Tulpa and personal issues


Recommended Posts

I posted here before about a certain issue I'm going through with my Tulpa, but I still need some guidance. I made my Tulpa to be passionate, caring and really loving, everything was fine and she literally made my life alot better. But after some time I started having issues with anxiety and pure o OCD intrusive thoughts due to deciding to quit my long time pornography consumption, I started having intrusive sexual thoughts and images about my Tulpa, and it felt like there was a second version of her which was kind of evil, I was afraid that i will accidently create different intrusive thoughtforms which be involved with my Tulpa in sexual acts. Sometimes I can feel my Tulpas original caring presence but after some time I go down the spiral again. I was in an abusive relationship before where I was being afraid of being cheated on and was made to feel jealous on purpose. I don't want all the things I went through to latch to my Tulpa. I stopped forcing for some time now, I feel safer, but I don't want to abandon her. I'm just wondering if it's my life "traumas" and OCD or my Tulpa just hates me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

She'll understand, you don't have to worry about that. Just be with her when you're feeling stronger. If there are days where you're feeling better, use that time with her. Intrusive thoughts should be ignored, if you can't do that for some reason, then yeah, she'll probably be safer in dormancy. What you could do is learn to remove intrusive thoughts in the meantime. You can do that by symbolic visualization. Be creative, add shields or make a secure area in wonderland with turrets or something, or a castle with a moat.

Link to post
Share on other sites

There's no reason to believe that your tulpa would hate you. That's only your fears lying to you. As we mentioned in some of your previous threads, if you are having major issues from your history with pornography and abusive relationships, you should talk to a therapist about them if you can. Alternately, your tulpa can also help you heal, though only if you allow her to be present for you.

 

-Ember

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

Bear and Ember offer good insight. Tulpa's can be very understanding and insightful. They don't jump to hate or loathing quickly. It is my opinion, they have access to more of the under currents than you imagine, and if you know what's influencing a person, it's much easier to show compassion. What I gather in your narrative before the question is that, anxiety, OCD, past abuse, and struggling with a porn addiction- are things on your table. Assuming I accept your statements at face value, there is no easy fix to any of these things and many people struggle with same. I want to be clear on this part, I am not invalidating your statement by starting with 'assuming i accept your statements at face value..." There are levels, multiplicities, and caveats to these things- and probably dozen therapeutic ways of addressing them. We don't live in a vacuum. Porn addiction is likely to become the world's most insidious, indirect addiction due to the mass increase in availability- and it is my opinion it is a symptom of a greater societal disconnect, not an absolute thing in and of itself. It can have devastating effects on families and individuals, socially and physically. Depending on when a person starts consuming porn, it can permanently change your brain to requiring a level of stimulus that most individuals, even partners, can't sustain. It isolates people. Again, we are more 'connected' than ever and somehow even more disconnected than ever- and we wonder why there is an exponential increase in 'hookups.' (Is it the millennials or the gen x that are considered the hookup generation? This did not just happen over night and it is a confluence of things, not one thing gets all the blame. Japan seems to have the worse of it.) 

 

Someone here can better give you this statistic than I; i believe most people that engage tulpamancy have a social/relationship/loneliness issues. I did, and I am really good at communicating. It is not about communicating and it's not about intelligence. In fact, again my opinion, as intelligence goes up, so does loneliness. People assume smart people are more successful financially, but that just doesn't bear out. They tend to have more episode of depression, probably because they know some things and they are frustrated they can't make other areas in their lives line up to the same degree as their smarts do. Tulpamancy engages the social and emotional part of our being. I am saying being. You can substitute brain. I am okay with that. All relationships lead to change. You're either getting better or getting worse, but most people will not sit very long in a static relationship. The dynamic of human and tulpa interaction has a higher degree of leading towards healthy outcomes because it's in the best interest of both to be healthy. Guess what: intimacy is an important aspect of human health. Lots of things can affect libido. Start exercising, loose weight, get physically healthy- libido goes up! If you spent all your life depressed and suddenly started getting emotionally healthier, libido will go up! Any improvement, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually- can and most likely will result in an increase in libido. This is normal. Can you quit porn and never touch it again? Sure. Good luck! You can't go to a grocery store an not have your eyes saturated with magazines with beautiful women on the covers- all designed to trigger that part of your brain to make you buy. Having a cell phone or a computer is likely giving a heroin addict an eppy pin full of heroin, just in case of emergencies. And if you watch television or movies or see commercials, it is getting more and more difficult to not see 'soft' porn because the bar keeps getting pushed up.

 

the number one sexual organ is your brain, not your equipment. You create a tulpa, you're bringing someone into an environment that is already got the red light district wired and hard installed, not coming out. I am about to give you a personal share, so that you know i am not pointing fingers, but rather am trying to interject some compassion- I am wanting you to find compassion. beating yourself up won't make this go away. compassion, acceptance, changes the flavors. If you're an American, the overtones of the bible belt and past Victorian error still flavor our ideas towards sexuality, and to some extent, that keeps the market's profitability up by attaching sexual icons and arcetypes to product placement. They want us to have a cognitive disconnect between the 'wanting' and the 'loathing.' My libido was influenced by early childhood abuse. I have a very high libido set point. Scientific evidence is your level of wanting after puberty will be the same at the age of 80, barring medical issues. (Contrary to popular belief, age is not a guarantee relief from desire. Old people are getting it on in the nursing homes.) There was no way for me to engage tulpamancy and not have outcomes influenced. I consider myself super lucky that Loxy was reciprocal. I couldn't even engage the initial meditation without arousal. That's just a part a life. (More precisely, i have been doing mediation since the 90s, including TM, hoping for a relief from my burden, and all I did was spike it.) By allowing our relationship to go where it willand wanted, I actually found, for the first time in my life, a reasonable balance. I can actually make it through the day without being inundated with getting my fixed because for the first time in my life, I have someone who understands, relates, and can meet me where I am at. That's huge. Just having a head mate that knows, care, and can laugh at with you, even flirt and accepts you- that's magic!

 

Consider this: When people dream, REM, they become aroused. This is true for men and women. This is most immediately noticeable in men. My ability to engage tulpamancy and wonderland has a 'dream' like flavor that results in arousal. This does not mean everything in my dreams is about sex. It just means- there is a connection with deep meditation, psychological work, dreaming and this energy. This energy is primal and always with us. I record my dreams almost every night- they're not about sex. Even my lucid dream, not about sex. (My first goal on being lucid was to beam up to the Enterprise. I made it.) You would think someone who is obsessed to the degree I am, that's all my dreams would be about. You are a human being and you are more than this wanting. I would not punish you if you were hungry and wanted food. I would not punish you if you needed to breathe. Why would i punish you for this? Why would anyone punish you for this? This is human and our society has the disconnect, not you.

 

You are okay, my friend. You are safe. And you are definitely free to be you inside of your own brain. The people inside your brain, they know you- and there is love. Any amplification in desire is either a reflection of improvement in health, physically or mentally, or a metaphorical relationship to how deeply you want to connect with others- or with tulpa- or both. Be at peace. And connect.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Urali:  I am eighty years old. I have never been sexually abused. I was severely physically abused and lived with a deep shame that encumbered my sexuality. I have had three marriages and the first two failed because of our sexual disconnects. My third marriage started off great sexually, but soon deteriorated. I did everything I could think of to change my wife's attitude about sex. Then after finally accepting it was not her and she wasn't going to change because I asked her to, I tried to change myself. I have been working on my spiritual and sexual growth for years'  with no results. Once I found tulpamancy, and began to work on creating a tulpa that could love  passionately and sexually,  and would love me with that intensity, perhaps I would relax enough to change and  I could begin to re-create my wife based on a new respect and love and devotion to the feminine in my own psychology. 

I have, and it is working. 

as a side note, I created two tulpas, one who would be loving, and one who would be strong and fierce,  This has served me well. I needed the second qualities to balance out my internalized feminine imago. My mother, who had done the beating, was a weak and mentally ill woman,  around whom I had built a great many defenses, These have contributed greatly to my own shadow. No wonder, my wives became turned off to me. Now my tulpas and I work out these shadow-demons, and my wife no longer has them projected onto her. 

Ultimately Urali, if you own everything that goes on in your reality, you can find ways to fine tune it and live a loving life.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Ahh, my friend holodoc. :) Here is a Carl Jung quote, which better summarizes our shared thoughts. (It's almost like people have been addressing this core issues for ages.)

 

"He (man) cannot conquer the tremendous polarity of his own nature on his own resources; he can only do so through the terrifying experiences of a psychic process that is independent of him, that works him rather than he it."

 

When viewing that statement through the 'Active Imagination' process, juxtaposing Loxy and Philemon as archetypes, then I would argue that Philemon, see Jung's 'red book,' is a tulpa. Generally- a person who doesn't get out of bed experiences muscle atrophy. Generally, if you watch television, your brain atrophies. Video games can build neural pathways. Tulpa=specific meditations is likely the equivalent of exercising under the influence of steroids- laser intense focus, a super power.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...
On 1/6/2020 at 8:32 AM, solarchariot said:

Ahh, my friend holodoc. 🙂 Here is a Carl Jung quote, which better summarizes our shared thoughts. (It's almost like people have been addressing this core issues for ages.)

 

"He (man) cannot conquer the tremendous polarity of his own nature on his own resources; he can only do so through the terrifying experiences of a psychic process that is independent of him, that works him rather than he it."

 

When viewing that statement through the 'Active Imagination' process, juxtaposing Loxy and Philemon as archetypes, then I would argue that Philemon, see Jung's 'red book,' is a tulpa. Generally- a person who doesn't get out of bed experiences muscle atrophy. Generally, if you watch television, your brain atrophies. Video games can build neural pathways. Tulpa=specific meditations is likely the equivalent of exercising under the influence of steroids- laser intense focus, a super power.

Ah yes, a superpower! and, like all powers, can be used smartly and in the service of love, or not. If not, your results may not be what you hoped for, or expected. This is not a walk in the park. This is hard, and sometimes frustrating, or downright painful, work. (but worth it!)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Similar Content

    • By tulpa001
      We have found that the easiest way to hear the other is to stop talking. This probably goes against the general instinct in narration.
       
      1)Stop talking.
      2)Stop thinking.
      3)Relax and stop trying to stop talking and thinking. Going halfway is fine.
      4)Relax and pay attention to her.
      5)Wait. It can take a while.
      6)Relax and let whatever happens happen.
       
      We have found this useful for waking each other up. I use it quite often because of her tendency to drift off while I am working hard or typing. I imagine it can also give your tulpa a much easier and longer time to get their voice working, rather than hoping they jump into a conversation.
       
      It seems like the one thing we can't really do, is jump in to a conversation while the other is talking.
       
      Also, relaxing and waiting has lower odds of inadvertent parroting than hoping and expecting. We use this technique to make sure the person we are talking to is the other and not ourselves, which happens occasionally. By just relaxing and waiting, it forces them to do the actual work.
       
      Note: This should not be done as a replacement for traditional forcing. More, I think it might help if done before, in the middle, or maybe after some narrating. I also don't think it will help with getting first words. I think you need a little memory of their voice built up.
       
       
      Details of the steps:
      (1) Almost everyone has an internal voice that you hear your thoughts in. Hold it back. You probably do this automatically when listening to others or watching television. When you do so, background thoughts will start to be more noticeable. Which brings us to:
       
      (2) In order for your tulpa to think easily, you want to create an environment in which they have room to think. So you want to pull some of your background thoughts out. Look at them. If some of them are caused by something you are worried about, forget that worry and relax until the thoughts subside. If you keep making observations about the outer world, direct your attention inward until the outer world subsides. Then, relax so your thoughts slow down. This should give your tulpa the space they need to think.
      If you spend more than a minute on this step, then you are in meditation. This is too long. We are visiting, not staying.
       
      (3) Our goal is to give the tulpa room to think. This means there is one final effortful action we need to relax away. The action we initiated in steps one and two. Your tulpa does not need the entire brain. So long as your thoughts don't return in full force when you stop actively suppressing them, it's all good.
       
      (4) Now we add one stream of thought. The same way you become immersed in a book or television show or your own fantasy, to the degree you forget about everything else, you want to think about your tulpa. Think about what she is like, remember her, her traits, her personality. Think about what it would be like to think like her. About what it would be like to see her. About what she would do.
       
      (5) Now comes waiting. Either it will work, or it won't. Giving it more time improves the odds. It is important to not try to do anything during this step. If you feel the thoughts you quieted in steps one and two rushing back, it is probably better to just stop for the day rather than try to suppress them again.
       
      (6) This last step is an anti-parroting step. It is important not to expect your tulpa to do anything. You are just watching. You are not doing anything. Don't critically analyse any thoughts that come your way, don't accept or reject anything. Don't make any judgements or predictions, don't hold any hopes. Now we collect data. We can analyse it afterwards.
    • Guest
      By Guest
      -----
    • By AZ
      ‘Hour counts’ refers to the practise of tracking the number of hours spent forcing. It was a common practise in the past because the oldest guides instructed the reader to use them. However, they have gotten a bad name over the years from people perpetuating the idea that they are detrimental to the tulpa creation process. These fears are not entirely unfounded, because with the wrong mindset they can be very detrimental. However, with the correct approach they can be a beneficial tool that gives you schedule and structure, especially if you struggle with laziness. The purpose of this guide is to alleviate those fears by clearing up the confusion about hour counts and giving you a list of dos and don’ts to consider while using them.

       

      Dos and Don’ts of Using Hour Counts


       
      DO use hour counts as a scheduling tool rather than as a progress tracker. – If you are someone who struggles with laziness, scheduling your forcing sessions in advance may increase your productivity by keeping you on track. Hour counts are an effective way to do this, e.g. “I’m going to spend 15 hours on vocality forcing, 1 hour per day Mon – Fri over 3 weeks.”
       
      DO remember that your targets are flexible. – You can change your target number of hours at any time, whether you are increasing or decreasing your targets and/or the time period spent on them. It’s important to not use this as an excuse for laziness though, try your best to only adjust your schedule if you have legitimate reasons to do so e.g. change of shift pattern at work, unavoidable social engagements like weddings or funerals etc. If you can’t meet your targets all the time, that's no reason to worry! Maybe the targets you’ve set for yourself were too unrealistic, if so, reduce them. You shouldn’t feel guilty and beat yourself up if you fail to hit your targets all the time. Hitting your targets is desirable but not mandatory.
       
      DO remember that your targets are arbitrary. – Unless you’re using one of the old guides’ recommended targets (which I wouldn’t recommend, you’ll see why later), your targets will be based on personal choice and therefore will have no bearing on the progress you make during the time spent. Even if you are using one of the old guides, those targets will have no effect on your progress either because it’s the process itself, not an arbitrary number, that matters. It’s also worth mentioning that progress isn’t necessarily linear, so there may or may not be much difference between two arbitrary targets. It doesn't matter exactly how many hours you spend forcing, just as long as you are doing it consistently and to the best of your ability.
       
      DON’T take the hour counts from old guides as gospel. – Most of the authors of the old guides even said that you shouldn’t follow their guides exactly, referring to them as guidelines as opposed to rules. I would even go as far as to say to disregard any recommended hour counts from any guide entirely because it may only cause anxiety for the reasons listed below. Another thing to consider about the old guides is that not just the hour counts, but some of the other information found in them may or may not be considered obsolete now, so take them with a pinch of salt if you decide to read them.
       
      DON’T worry if you don’t see results after a certain number of hours. – This can cause discouragement. Not seeing results after a while isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it could encourage you to analyse what you’re doing and try something else that works better for you. You shouldn’t be discouraged by not seeing results after a certain number of hours because your targets are arbitrary anyway.
       
      DON’T worry if you do see results before a certain number of hours. – This can cause doubts that you’re doing it right and can even cause parrotnoia (the fear that you're parroting all of your tulpa's responses) if your tulpa becomes vocal before you anticipate. A tulpa isn’t going to wait for you to achieve your arbitrary hour target before they speak to you because progress is determined by effort, not by arbitrary numbers.
       
      DON’T compare your progress to others. – This is the main reason why people have had bad experiences with hour counts. People progress at different rates. When someone who's put in more hours finds that someone who has put in less hours has progressed further, they may become discouraged or think that they are doing something wrong. Conversely, when someone who's put in less hours finds that someone who has put in more hours has had less progress, they could develop doubts of their tulpa’s sentience/sapience or could develop parrotnoia.
       
      DON’T think that you need to do a certain number of hours minimum per session. – This can easily cause fatigue, which could make your forcing sessions less effective. For me, 30 – 60 minute forcing sessions were optimal, however everyone is different in this regard and many people can force for longer periods with ease. Consistency is key in tulpamancy, doing a forcing session for 30 minutes every day for a week is better than doing a forcing session that lasts for 3.5 hours only 1 day a week.
    • By Piano Soul
      Quotidian publication numeral XIV
       
      What are some little things you found/find helpful with forcing? Could be stuff that helped you focus better, stuff that helped you develop your tulpa, things that alleviated doubts/frustration, things like that. An example would be our host listening to white noise to help him focus and get into the forcing "zone."
       
      (Each of the quotidian publications are catalogued in this location.)
    • By Nyxio
      This is daily thread #6.
       
      For this discussion, forcing will be defined as "interacting with or dedicating thought to a tulpa for the purpose of helping them to grow/develop as a thoughtform." I know the definition of forcing can change based on the context, but this is the definition I'm using for this thread.
       
      If a tulpa is inactive or dormant, how effective would a forcing session be? Does a tulpa need to be active/aware in order to benefit from forcing? Would they benefit less if they are inactive? Is it even possible to be inactive/dormant while being interacted with?
       
      (This is ignoring the question of whether or not it's very nice/good for a host to be forcing a tulpa while the tulpa is inactive, just if the forcing has less/no benefit to the tulpa or not.)
       

       
      I kind of think that once you start interacting with a tulpa, it's very hard for them to not become at least passive. They might ignore you and refuse to respond, but they'll probably still be aware of what's going on. In that scenario, forcing would likely have the same benefit as usual, they just might be a little upset with you for not leaving them alone, but as I said, I'm ignoring that side of the equation for now. If the tulpa does stay inactive/dormant during forcing, I'd say the forcing still does benefit them, but probably to a lesser extent. Think practicing playing a song on your instrument in your head vs. actually playing it in real life: they both can benefit you and strengthen the neural pathways associated with said instrument, but one has a clear higher benefit than the other. Or, it might still be exactly the same. I suppose it's kind of hard to test.
       
      (All daily threads are listed here.)
×
×
  • Create New...