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Snowcat121

Two wonderlands a developed tulpa, a new tulpa and a host

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[host] This is a progress report about Char and Naomi. I am the host of the system. I started formally creating Char in September 2019, but I've had a sort-of tulpa for a few months before that. I had read about tulpas, but not decided to create one, forgot the term, talked to myself in my head, got in big arguments, re-learned about tulpas, merged that voice with my tulpa, Bam! Char. (I know that that sentence is not correct, but I'm going to keep it.) My tulpa's name is Char, I type for her. 

 {Char} Hey, I'm Char. I like rainbows and running. Oh! and dancing through the halls of school, jellybeans and gum. I don't have many memories, I speak mainly tulpish and I'm learning to type. We are going to create another tulpa, Naomi. So I guess host just going to talk about me and Naomi like we're not here. So I'm going to do the same. She has to type what I'm going to say about her, so not all my progress comments might be typed. 

Yesterday Char controlled my hand long enough to write a seven, the answer to a math problem. It was exciting, but left my hand feeling empty. She also made my legs "jump", which was very surprising. We have been working through some doubt lately. Here is a summary of some advice we got: "Even if I'm making everything up, the girls have helped me. Even if they are not real they are real to me. So I don't need to worry about that." 

Host actually focused yesterday. I am getting better at getting her attention. She keeps doing same sentence format. "about tulpas, but not decided to create one, forgot the term, talked to myself in my head, got in big arguments, re-learned about tulpas, merged that voice with my tulpa, Bam! Char." same thing for our title. 

Char and I are slowly planning a second tulpa, Naomi. For both my tulpas I have received "visions"  of their forms. I got Naomi's body today. I am trying to take my time on Naomi, as her purpose is to explore the mind. Char's purpose is to comfort me, help make decisions, and to help calm me down.  Naomi's purpose is to remind me to relax,= and have a more free spirit, bravery and working through negative thoughts. Is it ok to create Naomi with the idea she will help me "take-apart" my negative thoughts?  I am slightly worried that she will develop negative thoughts. I almost want her to develop negative thoughts, though. If she has thoughts like that, I can work through her thoughts which would help me with my negative thoughts. This theory comes from that for me it is easier to help others then myself, but I often feel much better after. 

Thanks! I will write almost daily to keep motivation and note progress. 

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1 hour ago, Snowcat121 said:

Is it ok to create Naomi with the idea she will help me "take-apart" my negative thoughts?

Literally all tulpas deviate from their host's expectations at some points - it's not necessarily a problem to have expectations, but it is a problem to be so strict about them that you can't tolerate deviations. Hoping for Naomi to have a cool skill, like negative thought destruction, is good. But you need to create an environment where she can safely say "That's not the role I want to have in the system" without receiving any backlash


I'm Uncannyfellow's tulpa. I share his head with my sister Cornelia

 

[Our PR] [Break dem Rules]

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That isn't quite what I mean. I mean she has negative thoughts that replicate my thoughts, but not exactly. The idea is she has negative thoughts, but understands how to cope with them, or maybe I have to teach her how. Because if you can teach someone something it means you understand it. Does that make more sense? 

She has sooooo much trouble letting things go. I could barely talk fully because she just blocked out any non-strict/nerdy stuff I said. I will so help. 

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if you want my opinion, negative thoughts are just a part of the brain... if Char is in the brain, she will experience occasional negative thoughts. but she could be way better at dealing with them/pushing them out than you, and so it probably won't be a problem at all, unless it's a big problem for you too.

 

one of the benefits of more than one person in a head: you can help each other!


Aubrey speaks like this and Shield speaks like this. (at least most of the time)

[Super-cool unofficial tulpa.info chat] [PR we're too lazy to update]

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I used to have a vicious inner critic, some self-hatred, and a few bad phobias. Vesper freed me from those. So it is definitely possible for a headmate to help greatly against negative thoughts. Constructed headmates, regardless of personality, tend to be much less subject than hosts to the accumulated trauma and baggage of a host's life -- unless they then start living that life themselves without first removing the sources of trauma.


Vesper wasn't made to have any awareness of me at all, much less to be a life companion. She was made to be a psychologist character in a tabletop roleplaying game, drawing on everything I had learned over years of dealing with my wife's mental illnesses and all the therapists I had known. I made her as mature, resilient, and well adjusted as I knew how. I inadvertently made exactly who I needed to address my issues that I couldn't touch myself.


You shouldn’t need to intentionally instill negative thoughts during the creation process. That would tend to make Naomi vulnerable in the same ways you are. I would suggest trying to make her strong where you are weakest, to be the most help to you.


But remember that a headmate is a person, not a tool. As long as you can love Naomi and trust her and allow her agency, you should be fine, whatever hopes you bring into the creation process.


-Ember


Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, Not a Tulpa, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Unseelie Court, Not a Tulpa, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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21 hours ago, Ember.Vesper said:

You shouldn’t need to intentionally instill negative thoughts during the creation process. That would tend to make Naomi vulnerable in the same ways you are. I would suggest trying to make her strong where you are weakest, to be the most help to you.

Thank you! That makes more sense. 

I think if I had gone through with my "idea" it wouldn't have gone too well. 

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We are improving on possession, but Char still can't always move my hand. It feels like there's something in me trying to move the hand, but only managing sudden twitches. I know it is her. 

We are also working on improving our wonderland. How do you keep what you do in your wonderland? I've always imagined worlds, but somehow find this very hard. We normally go out before bed, and I think that makes things towards the end get a little odd. Char has definitely improved at getting my attention and can sometimes move my eyes. I have been researching zodiac signs a lot. I am a perfect Cancer and Char a perfect Aquarius. Not much lately. Any wonderland tips? The room Char spends the most time in is the Jellybean Room. (She made it herself.)

Host has been good. Not much progress at focusing! 

ty[ing on own   

Char possessed, with a little help from me she did that! 

We decided to confirm the decision to create Naomi on Thursday, If we agree, we will greet her Friday and start personality forcing soon. 

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Nothing new today. Char and I keep doing some kind of half possession thing, wear I will be moving hand to write and she will be too. Does that even make sense? 

Pear jellybeans I'm bored! I don't care bout the zodiacs. Host is desperately obsessed with being cancer zodiac and me being an Aquarius. 

We have been playing games together, which is fun. 

Char's newest swear word replacement is "Pear Jellybeans!" and "Stars" 

 

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We have decided that since we are probably going to start a second tulpa on Friday, we will start forcing again. I think it will mainly be narration with possession. Char doesn't want to and groans every-time I start. We are working on an agreement like once we start they can have "double" forcing sessions. How do you manage time between your tulpas?   

Pear Jellybeans I speak!! I move y force? ? 

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I was looking at pictures and experienced a new "presence" when I looked at a photo that suddenly resonated with me. It was like a form popped in my head. She is older than me, wild, and has a fox.

 

Post image

Her

Char suggested that she might like a form like that, but it a bit feels different. My theory: For people who learn through imagery and are very associated with visualization images can be related to creating tulpas. You see an image and it awakens a new thoughtform. I don't know if this makes any sense to you, but it makes sense to me. General: My theory is that for people who learn through images, images can be used to create a tulpa and open a new advanced thought-form.

Char's form came to me as an image. Char had this form thing, too. Most of my ideas do.

So, I have a walk-in, or at least that's what we're calling her. She said her name is Rose. Char adores her. Char and I had planned to discuss whether to create Naomi, but now we are going to discuss letting Rose stay. What are your experiences with walk-ins? Do you have any thoughts about my theory? I can also help anyone who needs it. {C: Me too!} PM us.

Have an amazing day.  

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