Disruptive Forcing Sensation

[Anna]

Difficult to describe, as anything...

 

Sometimes, particularly while I'm at school, I'll poke around for my tulpa to do a bit of narration, and my brain does not seem like it's in the mood for it. My head will quickly feel sore and tired, and my tulpa's presence feels a bit... off. I'll talk to her, but for some reason it doesn't seem like I'm getting through very easily, like I need to think harder in order for her to hear me. That itself gets tiring pretty fast. Also to note, I sometimes also get a peculiar "pulling sensation" at the back of my head/neck.

 

Other times, I can feel her presence normally and quite easily. It feels like what I'm saying is getting through, and there's nothing uncomfortable about it. It can work up into a similar feeling, though.

 

Was wondering if you guys had any opinions/ideas as to what this is/what's causing it. It's feels counterproductive and as though it's hindering my connection.

 

I'll try to provide more detail/information if need-be, but such is hard to describe.

[waffles]

Whenever I had that kind of feeling, I typically attributed it to being 'a bad day'. I think for a lot of people their tulpa's presence fluctuates in some way.

 

How do you feel on those days? Are they ordinary days (other than your tulpa)? Can you spot any kind of pattern between them (other than that they are mostly school days)?

[Anna]

I wouldn't say its particularly days, just more or less times within a day...

I would say maybe something to deal with sleep, but it'll happen both when awake as well as when tired.

 

I'd say it feels hard to concentrate... but that's basically what I was already saying...

Really, hard to say anything for certain. I usually feel normal, but then trying to thing tulpa feels like i chanced on grabbing a pin the wrong way.

 

Probably made that more confusing than helped clarify.

[waffles]

Obviously being tired won't help, but if you're getting it when awake as well;

Alright. Time of day? What had you done related to your tulpa previously?

 

Perhaps it is that your tulpa is tired, or simply does not want to engage. Have you tried asking them what they think or how they feel, in any way?

[Anna]

Time of day is any. Previously in the day? Usually at least a tiny bit of attention while i was waking up, but anywhere until a fair bit of narration.

 

She isn't "vocal" yet.

[waffles]

What about before? Had you paid a notably different amount of attention to them the previous day, perhaps? Otherwise, I would suggest that people's moods and attitudes, as well as abilities, fluctuates, and, as I previously said, this applies to you and your tulpa. You might have good and bad days playing sport, so why not feeling your tulpa? Or, again, perhaps it is that your tulpa is not feeling up to forcing, or dissatisfied, or angry perhaps.

 

Even if your tulpa's not vocal, you could still try to communicate. Try to feel a feeling, perhaps asking yes/no questions.

 

I'm afraid it's just something you're going to have to put up with if there's no apparent pattern, I think. Just a fact of life that things go up and down anyway. At least take solace in the fact that your relationship with your tulpa has basis in real life, maybe.