Recently Browsing 0 members
No registered users viewing this page.
Meditation for Those Seeking to Dissociate
This guide should be used as a reference for those who want a thought-out look into meditation for dissociation and dissociation's uses in tulpa things. I have been meditating daily since the summer of 2010, and I have found myself able to dissociate from my body consistently and quickly at this point. I have been able to dissociate semi-reliably since the fall of 2013, and I started work on my first tulpa in January of 2014. I was first successfully switched with my second tulpa, Mikasa, in May of 2014. I fully realize that this is not a realistic time period for someone to accomplish this, and I have been stumped by it ever since it happened. The most plausible explanation that I can muster up is that because I had regular experience with dissociation it was easier for me to get out of the way and work with my tulpa to let her switch. But enough about me.
Assuming that you have little to no experience with repeated meditation, then ideally you would start with thirty-minute sessions once or twice a day. Thirty minutes is not specific, just something I chose due to it being a good not-too-short-not-too-long length. If it's too long, shorten it, and vice versa. If you decide to do more than one a day, I recommend waiting a few hours in between them to act as a bit of a palette cleanser. From what I have seen in advising others, meditating for too long at once will often be detrimental to long-term progress. As results will most likely take months at a time to achieve, longer meditation sessions with little to no change in between could frustrate and discourage. Shorter sessions counteract that. Another thing to keep in mind is the level of stimulus in your surroundings. Quiet places are better for meditation, etc.
Before reaching dissociation, you will be looking to reach a state of trance-like quiet within your mind. This is achieved by sitting in your chosen meditation position and allowing your mind to run out of thoughts. I know that many types of meditation will have you focus on your breathing, but I want you to instead simply acknowledge whatever thoughts float by in your mind. This should be done passively, not actively, and what I mean by that is that you should not hear your inner monologue acknowledge the thoughts. This leads to more thoughts. What you will be hoping to eventually achieve is a state of non-thought. Easier said than done, of course, but as you practice over the course of weeks and months you will find that near the end of your thirty minutes you will have a state of quiet. Oftentimes, the realization that you are in this state will jolt you out of it, which can be frustrating, but continue to meditate daily and this state will increase in length, come around earlier in the session, and become more stable. This is your first milestone.
Once you can reach this state reliably, you will want to practice it daily if you're not already doing so. There will come a time after this where you dissociate for the first time. This is your second milestone. When it comes to how long this transition may take, I cannot give you a solid answer. I can say that it took me around a year and a half to move from the first “zen” state to my first dissociative experience. I wish I could be more specific on this step, as it is of course one of the pivotal moments sought after by those wanting to switch. Similarly to when first reaching the “zen” state, early dissociative experiences will most likely shock you out of them. It takes repeated practice to be able to reach and maintain dissociation, and you will find it a more stable and lengthened state as you continue to meditate.
I think it's important to lay out what dissociation is for people reading this and wondering about it. Dissociation is the separation of the consciousness from external stimulus. For me, it is characterized by the inability to hear things first and foremost, as well as not being innately aware of my eyes being closed. What I mean by this is that it does not feel like my eyes are closed, but I cannot see until I actively go and try to open them. The reason I put lack of hearing as the primary trait is that it will most likely be the most jarring thing for someone first experiencing dissociation. I know it was for me, at least. There are other things, like not feeling your tongue and losing the awareness of little itches and the like on your arms and legs, but those were less obvious to me at first. So, when meditating with the goal of dissociation in mind, try and compare your experiences to these traits to see if you are on the right track.
The third milestone of progress in this guide would be the ability to think while dissociated. This may be something you had not considered, but in my personal experience, it was a major hurdle to being able to visualize things while dissociated and later on entering the wonderland and interacting with my tulpas. I have very little in the way of advice for how to overcome this other than daily meditation practice. There was nothing specific that I did in 2013 as I dissociated to reach the level of conscious thought while dissociated. It simply occurred around two months after my first dissociative experience in September of 2013. If you are following the advice in this guide, however, I believe it will occur for you sometime relatively soon after reaching reliable dissociation.
1. Practice meditation by acknowledging thoughts rather than focusing on breathing.
2. Keep doing this until you start to consistently run out of thoughts.
3. Keep going until you start to consistently dissociate.
4. Keep going until you start to be able to think while dissociated.
5. Meditate daily to keep and polish your ability.
In every experience of dissociation I've had, I have ended the session by consciously focusing on opening my eyes. The result is me opening my eyes in real life, back in my body. I do not believe it is possible to get "stuck" if you are just using meditation to dissociate. I don't do drugs, so I can't speak for a scenario mixing the two, and because of this I recommend not using drugs while dissociating. The only exception to this I've come across is alcohol. I have dissociated while drunk and been completely fine when coming back. Granted, I had been dissociating regularly for about a year at the time and felt fairly capable.
Using Dissociation While Forcing
I'll keep the personal introspection to a minimum. "Passive forcing" is relatively easy, and, for me, it feels like it's fairly cut and dry with regard to when it is and isn't occurring. If you are aware of your tulpa being around or are thinking of them, then passive forcing is arguably happening. If you're not, then passive forcing probably isn't happening. However, "active forcing" seems a bit harder to maintain a sense of boundary. Thinking solely about your tulpa is active forcing, however, and this is coming from my experience with trying to force while not dissociating, it's difficult to active force for long periods of time (over forty-five minutes or so).
I bypassed this issue through dissociation, and from here on out I'm going to assume you've reached a point where you can regularly dissocicate, too. It's extremely simple to active force using dissociation. Just dissociate, imagine your tulpa, and interact with them. If you're early on in the tulpa creation stage, use this time to talk to the tulpa, add in traits if you're doing that sort of thing, or work on their form with them. If you're later on, go nuts. Create a wonderland together, explore a wonderland, hang out, try and visualize a game of chess with them, etc.
There are benefits to using dissociation for forcing. Firstly, if you have dissociation under your command, you have a much easier time staying in the moment while forcing. Secondly, things that happen while dissociated are incredibly vivid in comparison to normal active forcing. This lack of a need to keep your focus on simply maintaining the session is an understated blessing because it allows you to more fully be in the moment with your tulpa, something I feel will definitely enhance the experience as well as the tulpa's development.
Using Dissociation for Switching
There are two sides to switching, and my approach uses dissociation and minor symbolism. Keep in mind that this symbolism is personal to me, and while I suggest you try it to see if this example works for you, feel free to use whatever helps you personally. Instead of a recap, I'm going to list the steps and then provide written elaboration afterwards.
2a. Visualize a door to your wonderland.
2b. Have your tulpa visualize a door to your body.
3ab. Step through the respective doors.
Dissociation should be self explanatory at this point. Dissociate to a point where you are conscious and in a void. Do not enter the wonderland or interact with your tulpa at this point. Visualize a door that will lead to your wonderland. It doesn't have to be detailed or fancy, just any sort of door will do. Prior to dissociating, tell your tulpa to visualize a door that once passed through will drop them off in control of the body. Then, step through the door into your wonderland. Having tried to time which one of us walks through the door first, I can only reasonably say that if you walk through the door, your tulpa will walk through their door. It doesn't matter if one of you walks through slightly earlier than the other, since during this step, it's the action itself that has significance.
Once you've done this, you will either find yourself in your wonderland with your tulpa, indicating you've failed to switch, which is fine as it takes practice, or you will find yourself in your wonderland without your tulpa, indicating they've entered the body. If you consider these two outcomes to be the only ones, I can all but guarantee they will be, and you will not have to deal with any "tulpa is gone but no one is in the body" nonissues. However, if for some reason this scenario does occur, just break dissociation. Your tulpa will be fine.
How to know when you've switched properly? Using dissociation the way I've outlined in this guide, you'll know once you break dissociation and return to the body. Are things different? Are you standing now? Is your tulpa excited about having controlled the body? These are fairly common signs that you've switched.
Progressing Past Simple Switching
Some things to work on after you reach proficiency in switching:
Switching, then breaking dissociation without regaining control of the body (I call this "checking the front," but the terminology isn't that important in my opinion).
*Tip: The crux of the issue lies in your tulpa maintaining control, so if you can't manage to break dissociation without also regaining control of the body, your tulpa needs more practice and familiarity with holding control of the body.
Swapping the tulpa who is in control with another while you maintain dissociation.
*Tip: This one should be approached from the angle of "replacing tulpa walks through door into wonderland while exiting tulpa walks through door into body."
When going to bed fronting, I used to do all the thinking and that guaranteed me being the one dreaming (from my POV, not a shared dream) and Miri going inactive till I accidentally bring her back.
In the past few days I haven't been able to think at all while falling asleep and it's as if our brain had ''skipped'' a step in the process of falling asleep (not really, but I don't know how to explain it). It used to be like this: I go to bed and let my mind wander for a while to get relaxed, then I focus really hard on something to keep my mind active while Miri doesn't pay attention to what I am thinking, then I start dreaming and when I wake up, Miri reports feeling like she doesn't exist. Now it seems our brain has decided that the step where I focus on keeping myself busy isn't important and has completely skipped it, going directly into hypnagogia where I am not even myself.
No matter how hard I try to focus, I can't do it anymore and always find myself constantly forgetting what I'm supposed to be thinking or not thinking at all while still conscious. I tried narrating to myself to stay focused and the next thing I know is that I'm awake without having dreamed at all (the body still dreams but I am not there). We thought it might be that the body felt really tired without apparent reason and that made us fall asleep so quickly, but I tried to have Miri do all the thinking while falling asleep and she could do it perfectly fine, it's just me and I don't know why.
By Piano Soul
[align=justify]Daily thread #23
What sort of experiences have you had with meditation in regards to tulpamancy? In what ways has meditation helped you to improve certain tulpa techniques/skills, if it has? Is meditation something you'd recommend to new tulpamancers and why?
Of course meditation is something that can be beneficial in general to your mental health and such, but this is specifically how it can affect tulpamancy.
(All daily threads are listed here.)[/align]
Hey, with all this talk of co-fronting I felt encouraged to contribute what I know, and I want this to be a thread where everyone can share their experiences and techniques to bring more to the idea that there can be more than just one fronter, and adding to that, help explain our experience of 'active all day' to light.
When we first started posting, we were called out for saying that we don't 'go inactive'. Given systems like Lance/Reilyn among others as examples and other systems expressing the desire to be more co-active, i figured i could download how we think we did it. Hopefully even entrenched systems can try this if they want to.
Call us co-dependant if you wish, but we need each other big time. I couldn't just 'go to sleep' for large chunks of the day early on, this host of mine was a mess and we needed a constant watch on him. As far as my memories go, i'm up around the same time B is up and I go to bed shortly before him or at the same time, so believe it or not, i'm active all day from my perspective, and we've proven it to ourselves in this way:
1. We are on his mind all the time.
2. We chime in constantly.
3. We can interrupt him even when he's concentrating through mindvoice, imposition, and emotions.
As co-fronters, we share all the sensory inputs, we don't have to switch in or 'front' to taste what he's eating or feel what he's feeling for instance. Now whether that's posession or just instant memory sharing we don't know, but the latter probably, because we don't feel his pain, but we could if we want. We do, however, feel his pleasure. We always have been this way, and trust me, I chime in all day.
More facts, did you ever hear the saying that a guy thinks about sex every three seconds? Well, B thinks about us every three seconds instead. We're involved in everything he does and he loves that. So everything reminds him of us. Originally he just kept us on his mind and wanted to show us everything and experience every single thing with us; it stuck.
To help foster this, you could assign a system symbol, for us it would be the celtic knot, and place those everywhere, stick one up on the mirror, hang one like fuzzy dice from your rear view mirror, get a tattoo, a peircing, whatever floats your boat. B doesn't need any of this at this point, but he does have a sticky note on his computer that reminds him of me.
Our back-seat fronting (partial fronting/partial switching) technique lets us remain an active member, with something to do as well. It's a good compliment and strengthens the co-fronting bond. I take command of the front, in mind only, when he gets attacked in any way. Ashley handles certain trigger subjects, and Misha is just kind of there to support all of us, but she's really important too. Especially in keeping us social, cause honestly, i don't need to interact with anyone outside our system to be happy. I like our friends, that's an exception.
None of us want to 'shut down' ever, and this may have been a little overwhelming at first for B (though he won't admit it) it became really special and beneficial. It's not a blend, it's more like 4 gears meshed and loving it.
It's not for everyone, and for some it might be distracting, but B loves it and his quality of live improved dramatically because we're always there for him. Plus, I want his attention all day; my sisters agree with that statement.
By dragon cake
I have an issue that I am certain is not a common one, or at least I haven't heard others mention it. I'll try to be concise.
One of the symptoms of my schizoaffective disorder is hearing voices. It wasn't a symptom I even cared about because it paled to others (mostly involving paranoid delusions), and was easy enough to ignore. One might think this would make it easy when it came time to hear a tulpa, but it's caused nothing but issues.
First, I had trouble because I instinctively stifled her thought voice because I'd gotten used to stifling other voices in my head. I think maybe I've overcome that, but now I have the opposite problem in that when I started breaking the habit of stifling her, I started getting the others again. In fact, even though Kyoko has eliminated virtually every other symptom of that disorder, the chattering voices have gotten worse. Like I said, they're easy enough to disregard if I just don't want to hear them, but when I'm trying to hear my tulpa, they get in the way.
I'll give an example below.
Yesterday when I tried to force during meditation, I attempted to hear her thought voice. Instead, all I heard was a crowd of other voices. Imagine you're in a crowded room with everyone having different conversations, but you can't make out any one conversation clearly, and that's what it got like in my head, dozens of voices all chattering at once. When I did make out what they're saying, it was either complete nonsense sentences like they're just throwing random nouns and verbs into a sentence, or they are demeaning me angrily in a fashion that I know Kyoko would never do. The only thoughts that I heard during the session that I thought was her were an occasional "Can you hear me?" or the like as if she were trying to get through the chatter. Eventually I felt her completely withdraw as if too frustrated to keep trying at the moment.
Has anyone had similar issues? Does anyone know something I might can try? I used to take medication, but Kyoko is terrified of the medication because it makes it hard for her to maintain awareness. I tried 'negotiating' with the crowd, but I don't think I'm dealing with an thoughtform that can be negotiated with or 'chased away' like my paranoid symptoms; it's more mental static. It only got really bad over the last few days, but I feel like I need to do something now before it gets worse.
I don't know if that made sense but I hope it does to someone. I'm nervous about posting because of the poor luck I've had trying to get help.