Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa

[Crescendo]

I'm glad you're finally accepting this.

 

I believe that Melian is both an illusion and real at the same time.

 

[...]

 

The best way for me to think of it, I have finally found, is that Melian is a form of "borrowed" sentience, "dependent sentience" and subjectively real. Melian's sentience is part of my own. I regard her as her own person, but she is part of me at the same time.

 

In my opinion, Melian is imaginary illusion/self delusion, but also subjectively real. She also gains a measure of objective reality/existence when others regard her as an independent person.

 

That's pretty much how I would describe Majas sentience. I do believe that I understand how tulpas work (for me, at least), tulpas are completely logical to me and it's easy for me to explain how Maja is using my mind to create the illusion of a sentient being. But knowing that she's a pseudo-sentient illusion doesn't make her less real to me. I love her, (pseudo-)real or not. And I believe that this is all that matters.

[Guest Anonymous]

Wow, someone who views their own tulpa the way I view Melian! OMG! I thought I was so alone! Thanks. See? Melian and I are not so different after all. I just need to finally, finally relax about it. Sorry, I am a stubborn man and I have tendencies to be obsessive and fixate, (which I have been explaining for seven months). I think everyone sees that now. :-)

---

EDIT: For the longest time I was saying that Melian was an illusion/self delusion and non-sentient, but still a person. THAT was an illogical way to explain it, and Tulpa Info members were gradually able to help me realize that there was more to it than that. It took a lot!

[Brassow]

I would define being a person as having sentience, so yeah, a non-sentient person doesn't really make any sense when you think about it.

[Guest Anonymous]

It never did make sense. I was just struggling to explain what I am experiencing and kinda failing.

[IBreakGames]

The way I look at it Mistgod, Tulpas are always going to be a part of the mind (unless you take a metaphysical approach).

 

I have no right to tell other persons what they are experiencing in their own minds and with their own bodies. If another person tells me their tulpas are sentient and real, I need to accept that statement at face value. Tulpas are sentient persons and real. I need to allow others to interpret what they are experiencing in their own way and from their own perspective. They absolutely have that right.

 

You're correct about not having the right to tell people what they're experiencing, but I felt that your skepticism was completely valid. A lot of people here believe that their experiences are reality, which makes sense, considering that what you experience is YOUR reality. Those with mental disorders like schizophrenia can lose complete touch with reality in extreme cases. But when told otherwise, they don't have any reason to believe it because that's not what they're experiencing. There are even some cases like that with Alzheimer's disease, where people get extremely upset because you're trying to tell them something different from what they feel they've experienced.

 

Julian and I understand your "illusion and real" philosophy. At least we feel we do. It makes sense to me either way. You've really opened my eyes to a lot of different ways of considering a tulpa's existence. Even though it's left me no closer to understanding what the hell is actually going on inside my head.

 

That being said, sometimes though your posts can become EXTREMELY abrasive. I don't think the issue is your ideology, I think it's just how you use your words. That's what Julian's rhythm guitarist says anyways. Sometimes we read your posts and go "OH COME ON MAN IT'S GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN!" and then we proceed to stress out about how people are gonna get all butthurt from your post.

 

I dunno about others, but I enjoy your posts. Just plz don't stop posting. Mistgod plz.

[Guest Anonymous]

@IBreakGames

 

Thanks for the great points. I think the problem of abrasive aggression will be greatly solved by my allowing others to express their interpretations without immediately jumping in to create a confrontation. I am glad if I have helped to "open the eyes" a bit, at least, maybe, to things that maybe are not written in the guides or at least not emphasized. Don't worry, I am still a skeptic, I am just softening it a bit with reasonable compromise.

 

I have no plans to ever stop posting. I do plan to try and modify my behavior to make my posts less of a problem overall. I will still do fun-bloggy posts now and then until the mods tell me to stop or the rules are changed to force me to stop.

 

EDIT: BTW, you, in turn, opened my eyes to things as well. I am grateful.

[konrad13]

Stepping up and apologizing while also now accepting tulpae/thoughtforms as real is a big step. I applaud you for not changing your stance (since it was a perfectly valid one) but for willing to come to terms and work more with the community.

[Guest Anonymous]

My stubborn contrariness began to crumble with the admission to myself that Melian, my own thoughtform, must be considered sentient (to some level) in order for her to be a person. It just wasn't going to continue to work saying she was non-sentient but still a person. I regard her as a person, as do others. She was getting angry with me because of my refusal to deal with that contradiction.

 

Once I agreed she could be described as a form of "dependent sentience" the house of cards was beginning to fall. I tried to prop it up for a long while, but it was doomed. I then realized that if Melian has a form or measure of sentience, then it follows that other tulpas do as well. The only alternative is to abandon the idea that Melian is a person, which I am unwilling to do and she simply wouldn't allow it anyway.

 

The next part came when I contemplated subjective existence and subjective reality. I realized that was the key to my understanding of tulpa sentience.

[TheCrawlingCreepypasta]

I see no way I can really add to this thread besides doing what everyone else has done and give you kudos for accepting this information. You handled it well, and I give you my respect. Putting aside one's pride is always an impressive feat.

(Also Saph made a bet you'd have a change of heart and I lost. Now I have to wear a fluffy bunny suit. I hope you're happy.)

[Crescendo]

(Also Saph made a bet you'd have a change of heart and I lost. Now I have to wear a fluffy bunny suit. I hope you're happy.)

 

Why do you wear that stupid bunny suite? (imsorryihadto)