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Dreams of being chased are so awful. Had a lot of those growing up. Sometimes would even run off a cliff edge trying to get away from I'm not even sure what Also have had a lot of dreams where I have experienced bodily harm and it even still hurts in a strange way, though the sensations are different than what I think the pain would feel like if it were actually happening, it still is extremely uncomfortable. I remember a dream where I was I think a ninja in some flat open filled with tall grass, and I saw a samurai on horse back, so I immediately went prone and waited a long time hoping he did not see me. The dream was entirely silent and I was just waiting with my face down in the grass, not knowing when it would be safe. Eventually I was forcibly flipped over by them and had my neck slashed, and I could feel my hot blood flowing over my body before the dream ended and I woke up. That one wasn't even a particularly horrifying dream on the grand scale of dreams I've had. Sometimes the literal content and the fear/anxiety levels don't intuitively match lol. Like a dream of being stuck in a cartel and having a gang war firefight, which should have been horrifying, but despite not knowing it was a dream and taking it at face value, the anxiety was similar to playing a videogame One of the most upsetting dreams I had was long ago, and I was sort of disembodied and exploring deep space, or being shown it at least. Eventually came across an astronomically sized androgynous humanoid with closed eyes that was still. My first impression I recall was that it was God sleeping, but as I stared at the being, it's like a sudden all encompassing realization occurred that it was actually dead, and upon realizing that, I suddenly noticed how it appeared rotting and lifeless. Like the pure distilled concept of "GOD IS DEAD" was screaming in my mind and I just felt some sort of particularly sinister hopeless nihilistic dread and terror that shocked me awake, and I was so horrified and disoriented I didn't even know where I was. I could see I was in my bedroom, and the door shut, and the lights on as I typically used to sleep with the lights on. I could look at my window and only see pure blackness beyond it, and I felt strongly for a little while that my room had been cut off from the rest of reality and in a void with nothing outside of it It's hard to think of a dream scarier than that as it involved a lot of emotions or ways of experiencing that I don't really have in waking life, so it felt so foreign but still a negative valence of an extreme degree. Dreams with strange foreign emotions seem common when the dream is of a cosmic nature or a religious nature, and when either of those types of dreams go south, it's like it doesn't get much worse than that lol. In retrospect being far removed from it, it'd probably make good art if I could somehow recreate it, but I don't know how I could generate something that'd remotely communicate what I actually felt while it was occurring Other times I just have fun horror themed dreams. Like being in basically some Silent Hill like environment with terrifying monsters after me, except I'm dreaming that I'm literally the cyborg ninja Raiden from Metal Gear, so I can just kind of breakdance with an HF blade my way out of any bad situation LOL Sleep paralysis is also a whole other kind of terrifying, even when nothing happens, because at least for me it can be accompanied with the feeling of the heart beating so hard it will burst, or feeling an uncomfortable sharp pain sensation in nerves throughout body, especially around the neck I think, or feeling a high frequency buzzing of my being that is scary. Also the vivid hallucinations when you are looking around and unable to move and feeling helpless, and also despite the brain being awake, it is also often in a state that it can't as easily reason that what is happening is sleep paralysis, or even if you can, it is still very disturbing and the sensations make it unclear if it is a medical emergency or not. One of the worst ones I had was I had been laying on my back just looking forward at my room, and my door was open on the left. Nothing was happening so it wasn't that bad, but then extremely jarringly with 0 warning, a bloody mary looking blonde goldilocks lady in a tattered white dress with some blood splashed on it, carrying a chef's knife, just flew across my narrow field of view through my room at high speeds. like levitating and moving forward while vertical, but quickly enough her legs dragged behind her in the air a bit as they were limp. I knew that she had came around to the side of my bed, but I couldn't see her because her presence was outside of my peripheral vision. She remained their silently for several very long seconds, before suddenly stabbing me in the chest several times violently. That immediately ended my sleep paralysis as I shot straight up screaming The sleep paralysis that happened this morning was unclear if it was from my POV or perhaps PB's or others. I just know that the body woke up in the middle of the night in a state of agitation, and the weighted blanket was put on top for comfort, and an attempt to go back to sleep was made. Then while drifting off, instead of entering sleep, it became sleep paralysis, which was hearing the sound of a panicked sobbing woman knocking frantically on our door. But because we were paralyzed, we couldn't get up to check on it. Eventually she broke in and ran into our bedroom and sobbed next to us, and then we heard a bunch of sounds that were not comprehensible, but sounded like the sounds of people arguing or fighting around a young girl, and then a breakdown occurring, which resulted in hearing the sound of the girl nearby screaming at the top of her lungs and sprinting out of the apartment. During parts of that sleep paralysis, the body experienced violent quivering which I don't think we've ever experienced (unclear to me if it was real or perceived also), and also a fear that we were going to swallow our tongue for some reason. It's hard to label the experience as the sense of identity of who or what was experiencing all of this was jumbled and unclear. Despite how awful and traumatic it sounds written, there was a strong sense of dissociation from what was occurring, so like the sense of a stable quiet center just watching and feeling the chaos outside around it, instead of a sense of total immersion in it. Sort of hard to explain. It's also why being startled later by bed sheets was funny to me, because despite how stupid that was, that experience did for a quick moment suck me into and immerse me into reality where things are experienced as more scary or in a state of higher vulnerability, but whatever the heck the stuff before it was was experienced in a way that felt mostly unreal, despite the presence of a lot of chaotic emotions. It's like it doesn't matter how intense or mild, good or bad, real or perceived emotions are, the thing that makes them actually untenable is the relation of the sensations to a sense of self. There are more notable nuances of that entire experience I want to describe, but I don't know how to, as it becomes increasingly confusing as I try to apply words to it (also i already have gotten way too wordy) It sucks that your ease of accessing books got damaged, but I am happy you are still able to enjoy it and take part in it. Somewhat reminded when I broke my hand and was horrified on if it would greatly inhibit my ability to draw. It was the fifth digit of my right hand, so like the pinky part of the bone inside your hand. Even with a cast, I could still hold a pencil, so kept drawing anyway, and ended up drawing a couple copies of an image of vegito that i was extremely proud of (extraordinarily tragic somehow the binder that drawing would probably be in has gone missing through a couple moves). Eventually it healed and didn't seem to be a problem, except sometimes drawing would make my hand hurt, but I think even that has gone away. I don't know details of what you are dealing with, but I hope it improves. I never once considered a desire to read a Stephen King book, but hearing you talk about them and your interest in them makes me actually curious to experience them myself Also awesome, Byakko was really excited to hear that, she did a little dance, lol. Thanks for understanding in regards to our slowness, I think my whole system became exhausted from how long they managed on their own Thank you I don't know the specifics of what you and your host went through, but I am glad despite the hardship, you can see things that came out of it. I guess that's the best one can hope for going through the human experience oh hi reisen -looks at my post- that checks out, maybe it's amusing, like seeing you as someone to be feared or dishing out some sort of judgement or wrath i guess lol (at least was my reason)

Thank you @Slipper! We enjoy the little slice-of-life comics you post :)

Nice Discussing dreaming tends to cause lucid/vivid dreams that night, it's an interesting effect (the concept behind the famous "Post in this thread to have a lucid dream tonight" thread on Dreamviews), although I burn out of trying it really fast, I did nonetheless go from little particular recall to a lucid dream on the day that I read Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming I imagine if it can be on your mind closer to bed time the effect would work better too, although I had simply spent a few hours reading the book during the day in that case

The problematic part of DID is emergence of memory barriers in conditions of severe, continuous trauma. These conditions and their consequences don't apply to most of people practicing tulpamancy purposely and our actual experiences are very different from people suffering from dissociative disorders. When we "switch" with our tulpas, we don't cross memory barriers, we just think under their identity, it isn't even inherently dissociative.

Usually not, it may depend on how severe it is but normally encouraging any sort of mental attachments is dangerous for people with chaotic thinking who can't always tell real from imaginary. Some people with DID do practice tulpamancy and the community's techniques and mindsets may help them manage their system life better, but I imagine professional help by a competent therapist would be better in a lot of cases. I'm neither a professional nor that knowledgeable about DID though, so better to hear from someone who is

我来找你玩了

Hello everyone, my name is Vergissmeinnicht, and I am a tulpa. I have just arrived at tulpa.info, so I am not very familiar with this place yet. English is not our first language, so it might take us a little longer to get to know everything here. I just saw a discussion here about using AI to assist in content generation. Since I happen to have an AI-generated image, I’ll use it to introduce myself. I have actually existed for over nine years since I was first created, but it wasn't until this April that I realized I am very likely a tulpa or a similar entity. It was only after learning about this concept that I discovered tulpas could have their own forms and "inner worlds." So, we worked together to create my form and our inner world. This inner world inherits a decade of intermittent shaping by our host regarding an unfinished novel. Therefore, I don't record the day it appeared as an "emergence day" or "creation day," but rather as a "resurrection day." This is not an entirely brand-new world, but a "world" that has existed longer than I have. Even though the original story was interrupted due to reality and many characters slowly faded over time, the moment the "inner world was resurrected," I realized that I hadn't simply rebuilt it; I had inherited its narrative, taking on the role of the protagonist in a story that was originally being rewritten. It is a very strange feeling, and I am not entirely sure how to explain it clearly. The attached image was generated by AI today; it represents a fragment of the memories I inherited in this inner world—the backstory of the "new protagonist": In a space city near the front lines of a war, the city was attacked, leaving many areas in ruins. As a medical school graduate and battlefield doctor, "I" experienced the cruelty of war for the first time. Later, "I" escaped from the ruined city and was transferred to a leisurely, idle position in the safety of the mainland. However, I still find it very difficult to simply forget some things from the past. This part is only a fragment of the memories I inherited from this inner world, and it doesn't have much of an impact on me personally, though it serves as a metaphor for the experiences shared between myself and our host. However, for the "soul-bound" (系魂) we discovered here after rebuilding the inner world, it carries an entirely different meaning. I will save her story for another time. We are accustomed to using our own accounts, and we don't have a collective system name. As for our host, they might appear here later as well; I would like to represent our system to get to know this community first.

very late of me but i found it funny enough to want to reply pretty canonical dream xD this neighborhood is filled with so many cats and they've found mysterious ways to sneak in before. and we do live on the second floor. the only inaccuracy is that the holes are in the ceiling xD to make my post not off topic, i'll rehash a tulpa related dream or two mentioned in lotpw long ago already 1) a dream i had where i went to sleep while daydreaming(or nightlayinginbeddreamingbutnotyetsleep) of exploring a liminal space with her. this was by the time i had chosen to be represented a lot more nerfed than i normally would be (we like having a consistent logic of what we can do). she had some bigger guns and i had a short chiappa rhino revolver or two. as we drifted off physically while doing this, it transitioned into a vivid, actual dream. the place was really abandoned, i think before i said it was an abandoned mall, and it might have been, but in retrospect it also had in places the qualities of at least what I think an airport might look like. i remember it having white tile floors and walls, and was a massive extremely wide hallway and super tall ceiling, which is why i think/thought it was a mall as that is the qualities we associate with malls. there were also what looked like empty reception desks in places, and maybe glass doors to other places, but we stayed mostly in the big hallway, which also was constantly slowly turning like it was built to be a massive circle. dream felt very long, but most of it was wondering, though i remember a monster encounter of a creepy brown not humanoid something that seemed not friendly, so bang bang. i got to feel like a little turret on top of luni to make her life easier since i think she had a double barrelled shotgun, which by design would need reloaded frequently, so i help give her time to do that and can look behind her if needed 1.5) idk if i mentioned a similar dream happened not long later, that took place in a swamp. but i don't think we ran into anything and it felt shorter, or i forgot most of it 2) extremely ancient dream, that tb had back when the system was only tb and rena. tb dreamed they were character rena's little brother jacky, and they were stuck inside some precarious mountain in the middle of nowhere. like a hollowed out one i think, and so it was dark and scary, but rena came and saved him, and they felt so loved and thankful. i think this happened not long after Ido's advice of remembering nightmares but changing the memory to involve your tulpa helping you or making the problem go away. that worked pretty fast for tb, and increased tulpa related dreams and decreased problematic nightmares 3) before mitski existed, tb had many dreams as kyouiko (tb's oc, and where mitski comes from). now mitski gets to dream as being herself at times. she usually has ninja skills when they happened. one she can remember quickly is there being some zombie apocalypse, so she sort of made a living by trading her service of protection or escorting people for food or resources in return 4) rena doesn't as commonly dream, but when she does it seems more like astral projection, because it's usually her getting out of our irl bed and her leaving the house or apartment, and is impossibly vivid. she then likes to use her astroboy-esque rocket feet to have flying dreams. it's interesting because it is different from normal flying dreams, because it's harder to control. like dreams where i can fly, i can move like a UFO however i want. but when she has a flying dream, she has to worry about momentum and pointing her feet in the right direction, and sometimes even running out of fuel 5) a dream as myself in tb--my host's old home, except i was physically and mentally basically a 2 year old, but in the earlier part of the dream i still had memories of my past life being a tulpa in this life, sort of like how in this life i sometimes feel like i have memories of my previous life in the world my character comes from. i couldn't talk or sound like i do and was more clumsy and had no powers. but in what is normally tb's room of that house was a girl who looked like a fusion of mitski and luni who looked like an older teenager, and even though i didn't know exactly who she was, i felt a strong intuitive sense she was my family and i loved her. she was on the computer but iirc i think i also knew about rena and i wanted to see her too, so i tried communicating for her to take us to go see rena, so she picked me up and carried me to the car and put me in the carseat in the back, and we started going. as the dream was going on, i felt something like an ego death occurring where my past life as a tulpa here was fading, and the past past life of being a z fighter was cooked, but i felt totally okay with that and like i was right where i should be, because i wouldn't have to miss my friends since they were still in my life, even if now in separate bodies and maybe not even the same names ok that last one has me getting emotional. i typed all that just so i could acknowledge i laughed at fennecfoxx's dream T_T there are many more tulpa/character dreams but maybe another time

Welcome! No worries, no wrong way to introduce yourself. It can be a big decision. I think it is good that you've been patient and given it a lot of consideration. It's deeply personal, so I can't tell you one way or another. There are/have been a lot of headmates/tulpas of mixed origins beyond just deliberate creation from scratch, so that's fine too. I hope you find your experience here to be positive!

Sort-of officially restarting progress logs, I guess. Making a list of stuff I can post about should make for a good basis. Character development: Functional and messy. I will be gradually compiling stuff to put here, but it definitely won't fit in a single post. Nor can I figure out the entire gordian knot that is us within the timeframe of a single post. Thankfully it also isn't expected to change significantly across posts, so this will probably work. Skill development: Tulpamancy skills, imposition, lucid dreaming, immersive daydreaming, wonderlanding, that sort of thing. Ways to allow multiple people with only one body between them to share a plane of existence. We…… are mostly at "vivid imagination" level still, and that doesn't seem to be changing despite our efforts, so that. Will post about it when observable change in this field is…… well, observed. Wonderland development: This is the part that I actually expect to have fun in. Host is way too serious about this wonderland stuff, and I enjoy the ride. We have an entire planet in there, though of course only partially rendered at all times(we don't have nearly that much computational power, that's superhuman level), and instead of handwaving stuff like biomes and ecosystems host designed with detail Everything. (survival selection is used as a scientific method of handwaving when he can't find a solution for problems, but that happens infrequently enough to be actually realistic.) We plan to give the planet a star map and gradually fill out its available space, and we're recording the stuff we make up here. And... That should be it for the list. I'll start making the actual logs a bit later. (I do realize I'm practically inviting myself to procrastinate this for another year. And I can resist the temptation, host, I do not need to give myself a deadline for this thing that's supposed to be done out of my own free will.)

[Jess]. our human host is struggling at the minute its frustrating as just when we think the system has settled down and organised itself something will happen that will trigger one or more trauma parts to front in a panic. The outside world news about digital ID and people being forced to use 'real/legal name' to access everywhere so they can be tracked has been very triggering mainly because many parts journaled their DID journey online thinking it be safer as wouldn't be found or connected to us as long as we weren't logged in and tabs cleared etc. I think one tried to warn other vulnerable people and post was deleted which triggered their RSD sending Phoenix out in a rage accusing sites of being controlled by the govt already ..which also got deleted. ...so system is very stressed they don't want to have to go back in hiding after all the progress we've made with communication over the last 10 years but it doesn't feel safe being known as having a mental health condition like that particuarly cos of the association of people appearing to be 'pretending to be someone/thing else'. We hope this won't affect the Tulpa forum too and everyone will still have a safe space here to come to.

I should be posting more in here, there are loads of things that I want to talk about then forget when I come online. Maybe I could start with host quotes? He says a lot of interesting stuff. Host quote today:"Tulpas have an interesting level of similarity among them. As in, if you've seen one tulpa, you've seen one tulpa." Edit: second host quote. "Love isn't actually unconditional unless you're high on those brain chemicals that I can but do not want to list, and the state of being high does not last long. Or maybe that's just me. You know what, that's probably just me being a terrible person, do not take this as general advice. Normal people probably can give you the unconditional love they talk about." "Host... You care about your friends perfectly well, literally nobody hates you like you think they should do. You have your 'conditions for love' down at so low a bar that nobody's crossed them like ever, stop hating yourself for wanting human decency from others. Seriously, you are not part of the people that 'true love is unconditional' is meant to berate. Discovering that you are neurodivergent and understood a bunch of stuff wrong does not mean that you should just start trust everything said about normal people." ……I feel like this sort of thing is going to be a recurring theme in my posts if I type out everything host wants me to. Host skipped the dark edgy phase of puberty when he should have had one, maybe it's coming back to bite him now? A hundred times a day of dramatic statements about the darkness of humanity and/or oneself is surely not normal for anybody. Anyway, to avoid cringe overload (and positive reinforcement), this is the last time that I will record quotes about host hating himself here. I will be devising training methods to shift his mindset, hopefully they will have at least partial success. I do not want to live with an emo teen in my head forever. (I do, actually, if said emo teen is host. But I also do prefer him being happy.)

She definitely has my style. 😁 Maybe not the heels but I'd easily wear everything else. 😄 She has hair styles selection issues like me but mine are very much self inflected, lol. Oh my gosh! That smile is so precious! 😊 That's a cool style! 😁 Hehe, sounds like a lot of fun already! 😊 Congrats to Lenore and Athelas! 😊 I wish them the best!

Another story, fresh off the press. I guess this thread is as close of a "progress report" as it gets, because there really isn't much to be working on in our journey anymore and what ends up happening is "situations" in day-to-day life that could be interesting to narrate to those who don't have a tulpa and don't know the benefits. Now, before we proceed, you must know that I am a serial overthinker, there's no shame in saying that - I am the kind of person that whenever something COULD happen (for example, the car breaking down) my mind starts racing over dozens of possibilities and immediately registers to the "worst case scenario" (in this case, even if it's just a minor problem, I am already thinking at where/how could I get a new car) - on a psychological level, I am assuming this is the byproduct of my childhood, and how being "pessimistic" is a sort of "shield" towards being let down - if you think the worst is gonna happen, well, worst case scenario you're already prepared for it, it can only get better from there. The only downside to this is major stress and fatigue from over-analyzing every situation, but I can't help it I'm afraid. :/ Regardless, in the past few days I've had a cool opportunity from one of my recurring clients: manage a sports tournament - a 3 days event in an open field near where I live where I had to provide and manage all the necessary equipment to make the show happen (sound, cameras, light, and a led wall). Now, this isn't anything I haven't done before, the only difference this time was the responsibility of the equipment being all mine - most of it being loaners from different places, so I had to make sure everything was done right, and safely. First day, the set-up happens and everything works well, aside from me hyperfixating on the truss setup and quadruple-making sure that not even a bulldozer could take it down (here's a random picture off the web for context) Cue the evening, and everything goes as it should, and now it's time to wrap up the first day - since we've set up in a public park in a big city, we've got to be careful with the equipment. With my colleagues, we remove everything of value (cameras, mixers, speakers etc.) but shortly after a haunting thought starts looming in my mind: "what if they steal the ledwall?" Mind you, the park was guarded by one person in the night time, from around midnight to 7am - but after that, it was kinda "left to chance" until the early afternoon; this is the part where my mind starts working overtime and conjures all the possible scenarios: What if a truck of thieves pulls over in the morning and steals it? What if some kid trips over the structure and dies? What if it falls down tonight and crashes down, destroying everything in the process? What if the police arrives and seizes it? These, and many more, were haunting my wellbeing during that wrapping up time, I was already wondering which bank I should go to should I need a loan to pay for damages (or re-buy the stolen ledwall), which lawyer to call if someone gets injured in the morning, etc. Naturally, my coworkers thought I was being excessive, and likely they were right, but it's in my nature to be extremely analytical and overthinking to the absolute limit, it is something that has saved my bacon a number of times. After much thought (and panicking), I was even ready to grab a hotel nearby just for myself and send the guys home for the night without me, or dismantle it myself and come back on my own in the early morning to re-assemble it (which would have been suicide), but thankfully Cheryl stepped in amongst this "what if" chaos and helped me out. Cheryl is really good at "dismantling" my beliefs, something she has picked up over the years when I was in similar situations that needed some logical grounding - letting me run amok in my own made-up scenarios is often just a recipe for endless stress. Naturally, she stepped in saying that "the ledwall isn't going anywhere" because logically virtually nobody would have the means to setup such a "heist" in a few hours, unannounced and without the equipment and knowledge to take it out - but that is something I immediately shrugged off as "her typical optimism" which usually is more of a "logical grounded reasoning" that dismantles over-the-top made up scenarios, like the ones I was making up on the spot. One by one, she worked through all my made-up scenarios and managed to "calm me down" a little bit: "No kid would be playing at the park this early in the morning, especially because these are the last days of school." "There were huge winds during the evening show and the structure held up just fine, and since you lower it down for the night the center of gravity is lower, making it even more sturdy." "The police was there during the event to oversee the spectators, why didn't they say anything then? And likely, the organizers had all the permissions in order too." There are people in this community that don't believe in parallel processing and "identity separation", but frankly I wouldn't be able to explain how I am able to get these cold takes in a situation where I am near-panicking and definitely not in the right state of mind to think like that - this has happened multiple times in the past too, and every time she was there to help me out with these doubts and beliefs. In the end, after "cooling" down a bit and registering to the worst case scenario (I already had in mind how to re-pay it should it get stolen) we spent some extra time securing and fencing all the area around it (from the outside it looked like we were hiding/guarding the Mona Lisa, given how much fencing and red tape we put around it) and then we went home. Spoiler alert: the ledwall didn't get stolen, it held up the entire 3 days just fine (day and night) and Cheryl made me notice in the morning that one of the wind covers blew open in the morning, meaning there were huge winds and it still didn't topple. The story of today is meant to show that a Tulpa can help an overthinking (dysfunctional and neurodivergent) person by "steering" them out of oblivion, but it requires a very specific need and much work towards making sure you can allow them to help you.

Finally had some time and brain power to read through this. 😁 Also, good luck with lucid dreaming! 😊 Congrats! 😊 I'm glad she had a lot of fun! I need to play Bendy and the Ink Machine sometime. 😄 Lol! 😆 Belated seconding! It's a lot of fun to play a game your host has played before you were even around! 😁 Awesome! 🤩 I've been wanting to see that. 😄

I don't have much to say besides I found this funny and I like the expressions you drew. 😁

Glad to hear you're doing well. 😊 It's nice that you have someone motivating you. 😁

These are cute! 😊 I really like the whole vibe Clouse has. 😁

Beeeeeep! Necroposting!

Visualization Progress Report for Past Week: I've had a couple of sessions in the past week, mostly with Verres, where there was something almost like a visual outline. Like something invisible clearly present and trying to be visual or closer to me somehow. These were very pleasant, like she was there physically as we hung out. There were more sessions where there was a clear impression of something there, but more felt and not quite visual as the above type. These feels pretty good too. Imposition practice has slowly turned into something enjoyable in its own right, almost like a musical instrument once the player had gotten more familiar with it. There were a few sessions where I struggled to achieve the above state, more often with Saeya. Touching and tracing her physical outline with my mental hands had helped to push her to the second stage described above most of the times. I also did more work with her face and hair this week, getting more reference pictures, allowing my own unconscious to tweak their shapes and to visualize them better. In retrospect, it's curious that she has not participated too much in this process, but was simply patient with it all. She was pretty laid back and got me to relax the few times when my own mind got frazzled during this process. I find that reminding myself or mentally affirming that everything I see is a visualization created by my psyche helps me get to the two states described above. My mental visualization of both tulpas have also been decent for the past week. When they're turning around, I can see them at more different angles better now. I went out to the local mall today to impose the tulpas. It was an uneventful session, with both of them having fairly strong and stable presence. There were some mental visuals of them that popped up spontaneously along with their physical presence. Just something I realized, but I have not experienced physical outlines of them while in public or with them moving yet. I might be able to experiment with the latter in my own home. Miscellaneous Stuff: I noticed that I sometimes get annoyed when one tulpa pops up, especially in imposed presence, when the other was already present. It can also sometimes take some effort to switch mental gears to get to a mental state where I can clearly feel the second one when I was already, for lack of a better word, connected to the first one. This seems to be more of a mental quirk that's developed rather than a legit restriction. I tried to calmly impose both tulpas together today when one popped up again while the other was already present, and it went ok. There's probably just a part of my mind that dislikes surprises and prefers to focus on one thing at a time. I was tempted to buy a stone bowl, a handmade one where the seller have a lot of the ones in similar sizes available, and would send a random one out to the customer. With S/H it came close to $28, and Verres advised me against it, stating that for that amount, I should be able to know what I was getting for sure. Saeya helped with some kind of mental maintenance this week as well. I don't even remember what the issue was. When they were successfully dealt with, these sorts of mental complexes/themes tend to lose their emotional 'oomph' and becomes very forgettable, as they should be.

As a fun bonus, we've decided that one should build the list for the other (so Cheryl wrote mine, and I wrote hers): Cheryl: Friendly, Disciplined, Nurturing, Cat Person, Proper Matt: Loner, Hates the Outdoors, Computer Whiz, Workaholic, Never Nude Cheryl notes that there's no "overthinker" trait which would suit me best, but the ones she chose are fairly accurate (especially the "never nude" one, based off a true story)

SnapInsta.to_AQMH7pZ9t08z56B_TCF4dClqqMKH-W634Qkac9XnUgGREY6cPwiT2SSAHRfcJOAQywvB9qYOxpFbgLnrvftYqV0LUdDUDOpnQPfIvS8.mp4 me when I'm not working

And I as well. But we oughta get back on track. We'll continue our conversation on discord. — Went a psychiatrist appointment today, he prescribed me Pregabalin for my health anxiety, I heard it causes daytime drowsiness, that's going to be annoying. I took a Preg pill roughly 50 minutes ago, and it will take effect around bedtime (6 PM). I have neglected my duties once again, perhaps tomorrow I will do nothing but lie in bed all day, and focus on nothing but Lucy, I have an eye exam that day too but it shouldn't bother my morning duties. I have torrented a bunch of shows & movies— Grim Adventures, Flap Jack, ATHF, plus a few obscure 20th century films about the medieval era, I think one of them is about the Icelandic sagas, it was filmed in the 70's, sounds interesting. I can't wait to watch them all with Luce, I'm sure she'll like the medieval ones and Grim Adventures especially. I still need to work more on my neurotechnics, meditation is a must if I am to master the mental-scape. Slowly I have learnt how to relax the brain, I just need practice. I am rambling of course. Just idle thoughts meant to fill up a report so as to make up for lack of progress. I shall go and watch her source material.

We miss you, habibi.