hallucinations are getting worse.

[pudding]

So, I have the feel that imposition is getting worse. Someone experience with this, or a statement? I don't know how I should progress now.

Info: I was just taking a break (two days) at vizualisation.

[timethief]

>hallucinations are getting worse

This implies to me that you're seeing random stuff you don't want to see (i.e. weird/bizarre visuals that interfere with your daily life).

 

>imposition is getting worse

This one implies to me that you're losing your ability to do imposition (i.e. you can't impose your tulpa that well anymore).

 

Which one is it?

For the second one, the solution is force more. Keep doing what you were doing before you took your break and carry on.

The first one's more complicated...

[pudding]

>hallucinations are getting worse

This implies to me that you're seeing random stuff you don't want to see (i.e. weird/bizarre visuals that interfere with your daily life).

 

>imposition is getting worse

This one implies to me that you're losing your ability to do imposition (i.e. you can't impose your tulpa that well anymore).

 

Which one is it?

For the second one, the solution is force more. Keep doing what you were doing before you took your break and carry on.

The first one's more complicated...

 

Well, I think it's the first one and the second one, too.

The problem is... I sometimes think Chi is evil, and when I think so, I often see offensive gesture when I vizualize. But Chi always says that he doesn't do something like this. And normally I believe in it. But sometimes not :/

The second one could hold true, too. Because I often feel still overwhelmed with my situation. And I know, I should be more relaxed, but... It's difficult ^^'.

[NoneFromHell]

 

Well, I think it's the first one and the second one, too.

The problem is... I sometimes think Chi is evil, and when I think so, I often see offensive gesture when I vizualize. But Chi always says that he doesn't do something like this. And normally I believe in it. But sometimes not :/

The second one could hold true, too. Because I often feel still overwhelmed with my situation. And I know, I should be more relaxed, but... It's difficult ^^'.

 

From the way you describe it, it seems pretty obvious that you're dealing with intrusive thoughts, mostly based on your expectations. The big question is: Why do you get the idea that Chi is evil? I think to fix your problem you should try to dig around your own mind and reflect about yourself, not necessary your tulpa. If you get rid of your subconscious fear of something going badly wrong, you should be good to go.

 

The other problem is barely related, and will mostly disappear with getting back in practice. Just don't try to rush it and take your time to get back in action (with a free and relaxed mindset). Don't try to force it when you're exhausted or stressed too much. Don't try to expect instant results based on your previous progress.

[pudding]

 

Why do you get the idea that Chi is evil?

 

Because of the instrusive thoughts I have. I also wrote a thread about this. But slowly it gets better with the trust. And I hope one day it's perfect.

[NoneFromHell]

 

Because of the instrusive thoughts I have. I also wrote a thread about this. But slowly it gets better with the trust. And I hope one day it's perfect.

 

So you have intrusive thoughts, because you have the idea that he is evil; and you have the idea he is evil, because of your intrusive thoughts. However, the very idea of him being evil builds up on your initial fears of the concept (probably small hidden ones).

 

I think you're heading in the right direction with your efforts. Keep building up more trust towards him.