Let's Not Call Tulpas "It"

[GrayTheCat]

Ranger is very clear that he prefers to be addressed as "he", "him", "Ranger". If you called me "she" or "he", I wouldn't care. I Address all of the Grays as "he", "him", or "they", but for whatever reason I call my subconscious "it" every now and then.

 

In general, if I don't know a person's or Tulpa's gender I call them "they", "them", or "you guys". It bothers me when people use "it" to describe Tulpas, and I like the idea of getting away from using it to describe Tulpas entirely.

 

Hosts are people. Tulpas are people. People deserve respect.

[Pioneer11]

I've never addressed him as "it", however I've mentioned him as "my Tulpa" often in this forum. I'm aware it could be considered problematic, but he does not mind it at all. I admit that while I do consider him as another person living in my head, I do still think of him possessively - something of mine, so to speak. Some people face no difficulty in tracing clear boundaries and rights between each other, however we are in an undefined yet relatively peaceful territory.

[TheImign]

I don't have a problem when my host says "my tulpa", after all I still call him "my host" so that probably isn't too big of a deal. I also think that one of the reasons that people use "it" instead of "them" is because not everyone is used to using "them" as a singular pronoun. Of course I've never heard "it" being used in reference to a host, it is always "he/she" so even assuming the best it is still problematic (though he/she is also problematic for a different reason)

[Guest]

I just almost used it for the same reason Bre said.

[CM]

I just think of the "my tulpa", "my host" thing the same way I think of "my mother", "my sister", "my friend". You don't own any of these people but still it's "my" something.

[Ember.Vesper]

I think "it" greatly misrepresents tulpas, making them seem like characters or imaginary friends.

 

More like toys or objects than characters, I think. As a former fictional character and, for over year before knowing anything of the tulpa community, a self-identified imaginary friend, I'd like to reject 'it' as appropriate for gendered beings even at lower levels of independence and self-awareness. (I also try to refer to animals by their correct sex.)

 

I'm not entirely comfortable with the singular they, in spite of its long history in English. If I'm not aware of the correct gender designation, I'll generally try to structure my sentences to minimize pronouns.

 

Sometimes 'it' may be correct. In the 2018 tulpa census, 33 of 596 tulpas identified as agender. I wonder what pronouns they prefer?

 

-Vesper

[Guest]

I couldn't find a reference for "it" being used even for an agender person.

[CM]

When it comes to animals I tend to refer to the general animal as it and a specific animal that I know the gender of as he or she. An animal doesn't give a crap about what you call it, but if I think a pet owner might take offense in its stead I refer to it as they. In a same way I might refer to a general example of a human as it, when talking about a species, but individuals as he, she or they. Don't know if that makes me insensitive or if it's just another language thing.

 

It for an agender person just sounds downright disrespectful, because it dehumanizes them and makes them seem like "some other creature". The same applies to a tulpa, I think. The singular they isn't that strange once you get used to it I think, kinda like how "you" is also a plural.

Desmond doesn't mind being an it in Finnish where it's normal, but it bothers him in English. The rest haven't voiced any opinion about it but I think they're on the same tracks with him.

[Areolo]

All this is very subjective, it's only a question of a politeness. We too didn't like "It", but we can normally perceive it in others topics.

 

For example. I don't like to say "my host". Without any reason, I simply don't like to say "host". As well as I don't like to use "tulpa" in my speech.

[Guest LanceReilyn]

Neither Reilyn nor I commented because we figured it was obvious we are all people and people shouldn't be called "it". :P

 

I can think of at least one time "it" might be used in English and not seem strange. For identifying an unknown person. If someone is knocking at a door we can say "Who is it?" but we could also say "Who is there?" or "Who is at the door?" In that context, they are all understood to be interchangeable (though "who is at the door" sounds really formal), and in that case "it" doesn't mean "what object is at the door?" because everyone already knows it's a person. It would be pretty normal for someone nearby to reply, for example, "it should be Jake [at the door]" or "That [person at the door] should be Jake". Assuming context is understood in casual conversation, it might even be shortened to "Probably Jake". The person knocking could might themselves with "It's me" or "It's Jake" or just shorten it to "Jake". Likewise, I think the same phrasing works for phone calls or texts and stuff before the person in question has been identified. *phone vibrates in busy person's pocket* They might think "Who is it now??" or "It might be my boss". Even answering a phone or something, a polite "Hello?" is kind of understood to mean "Who is it?" or "I'm here, please identify yourself".

 

I think when emphasizing a connection more than a person "that" can be used too, ex: *man comes in first place* "Yeah! That's my brother!" *someone insults a person* "That's my sister you are talking about!" Some people even love their cars so much they call an object "Her" or something out of affection.  

 

So here's an interesting question though.. Robots that might be around one day, if they are indistinguishable from people or not, will they always an "it"? Do they become a "he" or "she" if they gain true sentience (and you know, wanna be called he/she). Is self-awareness/sentience the sole thing needed to move some-thing into some-one? "It" into "them/him/her"? Do they have to basically look like a he/she to be called such? Does that mean an object like a mannequin or sex doll dressed up to look pretty convincingly like a male or female becomes a "he" or "she"?