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Ashley

Vocality anomalies

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Normally, we have three channels. Those being tulpish (emotion, images and meanings), mindvoice and visuals (non-verbal). That said, I've had my fair share of vocality anomalities. Though, the most annoying ones are those caused by after-processing effects.

 

After-processing effects are cmmon when I just watched an anime or a movie, or after playing a story-heavy or otherwise intense game. What's happening is that my mind is still trying to connect related events with each other. Tying related events together simply costs more time and energy for me than the average person, so my brain can often not complete making these connections whilst watching. Result: this after-processing affects every single thought I have in my brain for as long as it's still being processed, including my interactions with Amantha.

This has various effects depending on what I'm processing. The one I'm most familiar with is seeing both what Amantha and I are saying in a dialogue box, besides also hearing it in mindvoice. And since after-processing costs me a good amount of mental energy, tulpish is more difficult to use: it also requires mental energy to run things over that channel. Not to mention tulpish is also way less effective during because the after-processing effect drowns out any processing of tulpish.


Michen, host or "main" / Amantha, anthro arctic fox tulpa

 

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Ember: Vesper appeared suddenly speaking in perfectly clear complete sentences almost 2 1/2 years ago. We never used tulpish until we found out about it a year ago on this site and we've never used it much by itself. It's useful as a supplemental data channel; a vocal "carrier wave" can carry a paragraph's worth of attached tulpish.

 

Iris: I have used pure tulpish more extensively than Ember or Vesper and in a more sophisticated way, but they kept asking me to speak up until I got out of the habit.

 

Ember: We've rarely ever had echoing issues and treat them not that much differently than any other intrusive thought. If something like that happens, the person whose words are echoing will generally hold their hand flat with a tiny twitch of the wrist, silencing the mind very effectively.

 

Vesper: If we are alone and I'm not fronting, I often speak aloud, softly, via possession, for accent practice, instead of using mindvoice. Since my actual accent is quite a bit different both from the accent I was played with and from any accent Ember knew how to produce, it has been an arduous journey to fix both my speaking voice and my mindvoice.

 

Ember: It's also a form of ersatz imposition, in that it allows me to physically hear Vesper. Rather than creating doubt as Ashley describes, it is the most alien, unmistakable, and undoubtable sensation we ever experience. She also does it to help her focus if she isn't feeling clear-headed and to combat blending and unassigned thoughts in distracting situations.

 

Vesper: Unassigned and ambiguous thoughts are rejected with extreme prejudice, as if they never happened, to reinforce individual boundaries. But they rarely trouble us anymore.

 

Iris: I have not felt a need to use vocal possession as Vesper often does. I was played with a distinctive voice that remains both my mindvoice and my speaking voice, making my thoughts less ambiguous from the beginning.

 

Ember: I sometimes find vocal possession helpful as a focusing tool when switched out, but Vesper tends to keep more of an iron grip on the front than I do, which I have to get her to relax first.

 

What Bre calls "aura" sounds similar to both what we call "metatagging" and to what we call "mindfeel". Metatagging, a subset of tulpish, may be automatic or intentional and carries identity data, directionality, emotions, images, memories and other non-verbal riders on vocalized thought. (Mindvoice, being projected from one form to another, has directionality just like a sound in physical space, though on rare occasion the directionality is badly glitched.)

 

Mindfeel is related to presence and is the very distinctive individual signature of headmate being in telepathic rapport with you. But thoughts aren't part of people, just produced by people, so the mindfeel by itself may not always impress a satisfyingly deep identity metatag into a thought without conscious aid.

 

Bre's implication that another headmates aura can't be faked intrigued me. I unintentionally gained headmates over the course of thousands of hours of transforming my mind, pouring myself without limit into becoming characters. So, with Vesper and Iris' permission, I tried to duplicate their mindfeel and succeeded. In fact, the only way I could be sure that they hadn't switched in was that I was still able to talk to them in spite of having become them.

 

Vesper: Add that to the list of things in tulpamancy that are just not how the universe ought to work...


I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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Vesper speaking aloud with the physical voice so that I can hear her with the physical ears is not imposition, Ashley. Imposition requires sensory data that is not physically generated to be fed into the physical senses as if it were physically generated, which your system has repeatedly described as a component of your hypnogogia.

 

For in-system communication, vocal possession is a lesser substitute for auditory imposition because:

 

*It isn't private. Someone out-system could overhear part of our conversation. There is a subvocalized version, where Vesper manipulates the throat muscles without putting air past them, but it isn't as satisfying.

 

*It can't be done when the mouth is otherwise engaged -- eating, drinking, teeth brushing, etc. (Which has led to funny moments of Vesper's mindvoice mumbling awkwardly when I'm holding something in my mouth and she is partly thinking in terms of speaking aloud in spite of not really being able to.)

 

*It greatly increases the amount of talking the body does, which causes throat irritation. Eventually, she has to switch back to mindvoice.

 

*Vesper is still limited to the sounds our physical voice can produce. She hasn't expressed the same levels of dysphoria about the voice that she has about the face, but even with a different accent, she probably still sounds more like me than she should. And since her speaking voice is the model for her mindvoice, that limits how much like herself she can sound at any time.

 

-Ember


I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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I have a dissociative disorder which in this case seems to give me an advantage to vocality. our mind is eerily empty and quiet (this is coined 'blank mind syndome' by suffers of DP/DR) and my mind voice is too quiet to hear most of the time- even when im shouting. so my tulpas voice, despite sounding like my own, is louder than me, and has a whispery, bubbly feel to it. he is distinct enough for me to force him, however he likes to contradict his answers to questions which gives me so much doubt ahhh. so i guess this means he might not dissociate?

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