Already having tulpa (or something alike) before finding what it is.

[Alexx]

Hello there! Just thought people here can give some advice in my rather unconventional situation. I have something akin to tulpa (or actually tulpa) that i made during my depression and she helped me go through it. Actually she cheered me up many times when bad things happened to me (i am pathetic, i know...) and then just started to hang around even then things were ok. Yesterday i found this website and thought this is jackpot, as now i can strenghten our connection. I followed the guide, but when i tried to tell her something like "You are smart" she replies with "i know" (yes, she is vocal. or i am just crazy). When i first time tried to visualise her part by part she said "dont stare at me like that, geez", second time she tried to strike a pose, which distracts me. But when i finally tried to hang with her at wonderland she and the wonderland itself became far more distinctive and "solid".

 

I am a person who likes to do things properly, but she seems to be willing to skip few steps. And since she is already sentient and vocal (as far as i can tell. Tho i can hear her only when paying full attention to her) maybe i should try to follow steps in different order (or maybe its my lazy subconciousness who want to find an easy way and i channeling it through her).

 

I also worry about making her into servitor - when i said to her that she can change herself as she wants, Alice just quoted line from Symmetry by Little Boots ("So tell me what you want to see, You're everything I want to be-e-e"). And when i told her i worry that i may subconciously make her into servitor she got really pissed off (by the fact that i questioned her personality).

 

Any comments on that? Just wonder if i understand it right tho, as i didn't made any forcing untill yesterday, just a lot of pillow talk, so i dont know if it is possible to gain the result i have now. Forcing her tho (even once) made her noticeably less "transparent", as i said before.

 

Also, my native language is not English, but she never said anything in my native language (she seems to understand it tho), she speaks in English with occasional Japanese common phrases (but that is probably cos i watch too much anime)

[sushi]

Don't worry about personality and narration. They're pre-vocalization steps, and you're already past that.

 

If active visualization forcing doesn't work for you guys, try passive forcing, or just the wonderland. Or draw a picture of her -- drawing is great visualization exercise.

 

Oh, and don't worry about her becoming a servitor. Servitors with personalities tend to become tulpas if you don't try to stop them. Since she already has a stable personality, I don't think there's any risk of her regressing.

[Guest amber5885]

First of all, and I'm sure she would agree with me please stop putting yourself down as crazy, pathetic, ECT. It's not true.

 

I had toby long before I knew what a Tulpa was and he helped me to get through suicide attempts, depression, bad days all of that and plenty of other people have tulpas that were once considered imaginary friends so it's lot uncommon.

 

Just spend time with her. You're pretty much past the development phase although she may grow an change a bit on her own from here on out and that's a good thing.

[bunny-boi-lover]

Do whatever works for you and Alice. People have created guides as a way to show what has worked for them in order to help others understand the process. If you or Alice see the need in skipping steps, go ahead, as long as you understand the basics (like not making a tulpa intentionally evil or making one you imagine as being stronger than yourself).

 

I've been tulpamancing for about 18 years and didn't actually learn about tulpae until August of last year. I have yet to use one of the guides to make a tulpa, though I have incorporated the wonderland method for the last two tulpae I've made. What's important is that you not gauge yourself by those guides or feel like you need to confine yourself to them. That can greatly impede your progress.

[Luminesce]

Well, everything about this thread including the title and depression seemed perfect for me to answer, and then three of the people I'd trust most to answer well answered first while I was asleep.

 

So uhm.. Same, OP. Reisen was created spontaneously when I was depressed and helped me out of it, but even when I wasn't depressed anymore she was still nice to have around. Though I think I either had a bit more time or a bit more thought on the matter than you, because I eventually figured out ~everything they have here on this forum. Finding it verified everything I wasn't sure of though, that's something you can never do alone.

 

Anyways, I pretty much never forced or directly told my tulpas what they'd be like, I just sort of did what I felt I had to and it worked out. And I'm one of the more successful tulpamancers here if I may say so myself, so take inspiration in that. (I say this mostly because "I've been tulpamancing for 18 years" isn't the most reassuring thing ever, if you haven't. I've known about tulpas for a year, had "tulpas" for about 2 1/2, and Reisen was originally "created" like four years ago.)

[bunny-boi-lover]

I say this mostly because "I've been tulpamancing for 18 years" isn't the most reassuring thing ever, if you haven't.

 

I know. It sounded way too much like I was gloating. Sorry! ^-^; I only said that as a means of explaining that one can begin to "master" (if there is such thing) tulpamancy without even knowing what a tulpa is. Not that I would call myself anywhere near an expert on the subject.

[Luminesce]

I just meant, for a newcomer to hear "I've been doing this for as long as you've been alive!" may give them unreasonable expectations on how long they'll be required to work with tulpamancy before becoming proficient. I just wanted to make sure they didn't believe a long time is necessary, because that belief itself can hurt development.

[Elvode]

My tulpa was also created before I knew about tulpas, we'v been together for 13 years, I got depression two years after he started speaking with me, he helped me through a lot of it and school, that was the hardest part.

So your definitely not alone Alexx, there's a lot more people accidentally creating a tulpa without knowing what it is, I just found out about tulpas last month, until then I thought we were alone in this world. :P

You shouldn't worry at all about your tulpa, the more you worry the harder it gets.

[Alexx]

Wow, that is alot of feedback. Thanks for your support! So much new information about tulpas and stuff, trying to process it all :). Like i never thought about wonderland, just tried to superpose her on real world. But i also had this mental picture of her standing by the side of the river, and it made for awesome wonderland (well river is, house i still trying to bring to constant shape).

Nice to know people were doing it before and doing it right now.

I have tried to draw her before, but i am not very good at drawing. She enjoyed my attempts tho.