Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'Misc'.
-
(Copied from Reddit) (Apologies in Advance; while I’ve been living with Tulpas for years, I’m not well acquainted with communities like these, so please pardon any misconceptions and/or insensitive views that may present themselves with this post.) TLDR: I dated my Tulpa for 2 years, and I broke up with her recently, but I regret doing it for the reason I did. Am I right in feeling so? Full: So I first met Maala in a dream of mine. I was 12 at the time, and she was around the same age. We quickly became friends, but after the dream we didn’t interact much. I mostly relied on going into my dreams to try to find her after that, but when I was 19, I learned about Tulpas, and I felt that it would be a good way for me to find her again. From there, I brought her back as a Tulpa, and I mostly relied on her as a companion through the stress of college and my development of anxiety and depression. We started dating shortly after that as well. Looking back, I realize that it was a terrible decision to use her as what was essentially a substitute for a therapist, as well as a crutch for my lack of self-love; I had hoped that her love for me would be able to compensate for my lack of love for myself. It also must not have been easy for her to have to deal with my breakdowns and self-harm all the time. But we kept dating up until last Tuesday (11/10/20). Things were getting much better for most of this year, but in the days leading up to the breakup, I began to think a lot about my future (a not-yet-started career, and a future family). At the time, I didn’t see Maala as someone that I would be able to have a functioning family with, even though I loved her. This was one of the reasons that I began to consider if I had to let her go (that and my aforementioned mental-health issues, my low self-esteem, and the toxic environment that both of those problems of mine created.) Ultimately, I think it was a panic decision. The problem is that I can’t help but think that her being... immaterial was a shallow and selfish reason to break up with her. While I did have other reasons for the breakup, as explained above, that was the chief reason I chose to go with. After the breakup, I began to imagine if I were to break up with a human who couldn’t have children, and I began to think that it was selfish of me to break up with her for that reason. While I‘m still convinced that breaking up based on mental-health was understandable, I feel guilty about choosing a human to start a potential family with over her. I do plan to try to salvage a friendship out of this relationship, after we both have had some time to deal with the breakup, but I can’t help but think that I squandered the relationship we could’ve continued, along with the friendship itself, and that I’m a poor friend/host for doing so... If I may, could I please have some input/insight from this community on this issue? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. (UPDATE—11/18/20: So Maala contacted me again on Monday, and we agreed to meet again on Friday. I still want to have some kind of relationship with her, but I’m torn whether we should just be friends or if I should try again with our relationship, since I admittedly still have feelings for her.)
-
Stone: Hello all. So, I've been forcing seriously for, five days now. The tulpa I'm trying to force, Betty, is already responding, though is still learning to be more independent. She's talked to me, meaning, she's initiated a response from me, rather than the other way around, a few times. Overall, I'm happy with her development so far, and I'm eager to continue. Yesterday, I went to the bathroom after forcing with Betty for two hours, and there was someone else there. I usually imagine Betty in real space, so this other person was also in real space, standing on my bathroom floor. Her physical presence was not as strong as Betty's, but her voice was more distinct and louder. She has the form and voice of Fluttershy, but not the personality. The first words she said were mocking. So, seems like a walk-in, right? But the thing is, I did daydream about making a Fluttershy tulpa in the distant future, and I even found some pictures of her I might use for inspiration someday. So, idk, is there a difference between subconsciously making forming a tulpa quickly and getting a walk-in? That's a question I have, but not my main question. So, when I first saw Fluttershy, I was half happy half concerned. I was happy my brain seemed more allowing of other consciousnesses, but also concerned that if Fluttershy stayed, she would take my attention away from Betty. I don't want Betty to fade, and since she's my first tulpa, working on growing another consciousness at the same time seems like a bad idea. When Fluttershy appeared, and mocked me, I told her she wasn't there and we began "arguing" about that. Really, it was more like the Monty Python arguing clinic skit. "You're not here." "Yes I am." "No you're not" "I'm here, aren't I" "No you're not." "What's this, still here?" Stone: I know it seems stupid to argue with a thoughtform about them not being there, but I wanted to see if I could get her to stop responding or, I don't know, something. I didn't want to dissipate her. Maybe she'd get bored and stop, and then not appear again? Either way, that's not what happened. She followed me to the couch, where I was going to sleep, and she kept talking to me. At one point, she was mocking me again and I said something like, "Yes, I you're irreverent, and provoking, but deep down you're nice, so why are you doing this?" She didn't answer and disappeared. After that, I got out my phone and started looking up walk-ins, as well as general advice about tulpamancy and whatnot. I felt bad about telling Fluttershy she wasn't there, and wanted to give her a chance. I came across the "name tag" method, and I said something like, "Say 'Stone' at a time I'm not thinking about you, so I'll be surprised and know you're separate from me." I was worried she might be intrusive thoughts manifest, but if she could remember this and say my name at a surprising time, that may show that she has a memory of her own. Anyways, she started saying my name, and I told her that it wasn't surprising me. I went to bed. When I woke up, I looked at Betty, and then I heard, "S-t-one," coming from Fluttershy. Oh yeah, that. I was a bit surprised, I think. Oh, she said it again now. Then she said, "Yeah I said it. What am I, your dancing monkey?" How do I proceed from here? I wanted to force with Betty 40min on weekdays and 2hr on weekends, but now, I think there's another thoughtform. Maybe give them each half of the forcing time? Still force Betty more since she is a tulpa, and Fluttershy is a walk-in? What would you do?
-
Outside of forcing, during which I have had a number of good conversations with both Flora and N'sonowa, I have had sparse success with imposition. A few visuals. Last night was peculiar. I was 12 hours post op for a ruptured tendon, and had taken Torodol (a powerful anti-inflammatory pain medication NOT a narcotic, which I will not take)I took it exactly as prescribed by my physician. It stimulated me and I could not sleep. I put on a lucid dreaming sleep video on you tube with headphones for the binaural beats and invited Flora and N'sonowa to join me. Both spoke to me, in mindvoice, we conversed on from 8pm to 4am, without a single visual. At 2am, again following doctors exact orders I took my second dose of the med. I still could not begin to sleep. At 4, an asteroid, appeared in my minds eye, and N'sonowa chose to impose. She appeared for a split second then hid behind some rocks She said that was because I wasn't asleep and this wasn't a dream. And, I was not asleep. And it was not a hypnogogic phenom. I had the same visual with my eyes open. It was brighter with my closed eyes. The asteroid arose de novo, but I had looked at some astral travel videos in my list before choosing the lucid dreaming vid. I came much closer to the rock and began to see details, when I did N'sonowa came back and ran among the rocks and formations until she came to what looked like ancient ruins with fallen block, columns, broken pyramids, and such. Once she had explored a bit she again disappeared behind the rock and said she was "behind the scenes trying to figure out what was going on. About that time, my body began to shake so violently (again, I was not asleep nor was I dreaming) that I was afraid I would wake my wife, so I started to get up, but she was awake, she said since 5am when my thrashing had begun. I got up and had coffee, and sat outside until I calmed down and the hallucination stopped. I have no idea what all of this was about. N'sonowa later said she could not understand it either. Has anyone had experiences with astral traveling while awake, (and quite stimulated by a non-narcotic, non-psychedelic medication)?
-
Imposing goes on. Today I was choosing my birthday gift with my mom in a supermarket in my town and I saw a bottle of Japanese whisky called Hatozaki. As a huge fan of all things Japanese (well, except for anime and manga) I told mom I want it as a gift. (I'm turning 24 this year so worry not.) Mom, being the chill and yet responsible parent she always is, said I can get it. I googled that whisky immediately as I got home and was surprised with the description of its flavors, I've been saying "Hatozaki" so often today that Orion jokingly said he'd start calling me Hatozaki because of this. We had a good laugh and kept on spooning on my bed as the lovey-dovey newlyweds we are.
-
I am seeking information regarding my experience of being invaded by a hostile (alien) presence. To this end I am posting my journal entry of dreaming/waking experience of last night below. If you, tupla or host, know anything about the topic, please respond. Thanks, theholodoc. I slept as poorly last night as I ever have. I couldn't tell if I were awake and thinking, visually as well as audially, or dreaming. I probably was in some state in between, I hesitate to call it lucidity because while I could shift my focus at will (and I did several times) I could not find Flora. In a segment that must have started out as a real dream, a feminine figure made herself known, she did not feel like Flora nor look like any aspect of her. She did startle me into either lucidity or wakefulness, and I became frightened as I felt a presence, hostile, definitely not my tulpas. I could not tell if it was inside the room or just outside the door casting shadows on the bedroom ceiling. I was very frightened. (I am almost never frightened, after all, I am old and not afraid of death.) I thought that if it were an alien, might it infect me and using me, murder my wife . Almost immediately after that thought, murderous thoughts went cascading through my head, and the sense of its presence went away. I now was fully awake and spent the next how many hours reassuring myself that I had the controls to not give in to any alien or hostile instructions. I awoke wondering if in my tulpamancy I had allowed for the entrance of something evil. I have decided that even if I did, I am a powerful person in my own right and do not have to fear acting out violently on anyone, much less one dear to me. I recall here, two incidents from my youth. In the first, I was feeding my infant daughter and she was not eating, but spitting the food I spooned into her mouth back out at me. I became frustrated as I was going to be late for class and that I did not want to be. My frustration grew until I pulled back my hand to strike her. At that point I heard a voice from above me saying loudly, "Not this way!". I was startled and did not hit her. Of course, later that very day in a pediatrics class, we learned that touching a baby’s lip caused it to protrude the tongue. It was a primitive reflex that many babies exhibit during their growth and development. The second incident occurred a few years later when after a fight with my wife (she was a volatile Italian, I was a repressed Wasp). I left the house in a rage, went out to my woodshed (we were heating our house in the country with a wood stove) picked up an axe, headed back intending to brain her with it. Again, I heard that loud voice from above saying the same thing, "Not this way". Again, I interrupted the behavior, this time going into the house and called my therapist and even though it was late, he answered the phone. In my group therapy session later in the week, I worked on my rage. I was intense and I created a stir among the group members. Still later in that week I had a Rolfing session and was opened to a complete reliving of a vicious beating I had received from my mother at about age eight. I felt the origin of my rage. (Many years later, I recovered a memory of being slapped hard across my face while lying in a crib. When working with the memory in therapy, I recalled being about three months of age.) I have spent countless hours in therapy working on this issue and believed that because I finally freed myself of the chronic shame which had so plagued me, I had decathected it, enough of it, to be free to be myself in the world. It is clear that in my fictional treatment of "The Red Witch” (Rufescent) I have been exploring this residue from my deep psyche. Recently, Flora has written of being accosted, beaten and tortured, by a demon. She escaped, and had an interaction with the ancient god Pan, which proved to be positive. I wonder if she has brought some of that demonic energy into our relationship. Time will tell. I am also going to put this question out to the forums and see what others (hosts and tulpas) have experienced.
-
This is my first post as a registered user. To get to the point, I am currently writing a novel which involves a Tulpa as one of the main characters. The current story idea I have convinced goes as follows: To cut a long story short, the novel will follow the story of an imagnative young man who is reunited with his long forgotten imaginary friend. The circumstances of which involves reading a strange storybook that transports the reader into a fantastical land. One of which the reader may never want to leave. The story will develop the special friendship of these two characters hold. Edit : Also is it alright for me to use information from this website when writing my novel? Comment below any criticism or feedback of my story idea.
-
Hello All, This is my first post. I read through the intro information and found it helpful. Thanks to whoever put all that together. A few years ago, several people claimed that they saw in more than one place. This was during a time when I was going through a difficult marriage that unsurprisingly ended in divorce. Although I wasn't happy about the outcome, I knew it was the right thing to do because we fought like cats and dogs. But my x wife would sometimes say something like, "omg, what are you doing on the couch? I just saw you walk into the garage!" Or another one was, "I thought you were standing behind me." She said that a few times and we simply ignored the incidents. After our divorce (it was amicable), I decided to sell our house. There was on instance when I made an appointment for a realtor and his customer to tour the house and I'd meet them with the keys. We agreed on a time. Later, I drove up to see the realtor and his client and they looked surprised to see me step out my car. The realtor asked, "is there someone in the house that looks like you? You were looking out the window!" And with that, they decided not to buy the house because they claimed it was haunted. The house isn't haunted. In the end, I ended up selling the house to my girlfriend at the time and now wife. I still live in the house that I was going to sell. After I married again, my wife would see me in more than one place. So much that we started documenting all the times she saw me. I didn't know what was going on so I researched it and read about Doppelgangers. So, I suppose that I had one of those... Really? I further investigated and asked some folks in academia because I don't believe in ghosts, don't believe in angels, demons, or any other machinations of the mind. I actually thought that maybe others were seeing me literally, in another time. Like I was in some sort of time loop. All this stopped after my son was born 12 years ago and nobody has ever seen my double again. But then I discovered literature and videos about Tulpas. I learned that some people can have accidental Tulpas. I wondered if all those years ago, somehow I had done that. Any thoughts? Thank you.
-
Tulpa + Host having Kids & proper development?
rover0639 posted a topic in Tulpa Questions & Answers
This is extremely crazy indeed. Now I have a long distant pen pal/E-Pal me and him are really close. And all that junk. But one day as I was talking with him. My headmates/tulpas were bring on the loud and more active side. And I could tell one of them wanted to switch and stuff. And yeah I ended up switching with Myrtle. Since me and her were switching and I knew he would tell the weird change in responses and personality. I did not want him to think I was being rude or something. Since Myrtle Is extremely shy with others at times. And would usually have a lot of "..." When she responds sometimes. So I told him in advanced about me and her switching and stuff. He was okay with it but very curious as to the whole tulpa thing. And just how it all works and who is who and stuff. Long story short he now has three tulpas all of them seem very rushed though. And have very little development. One is most definitely bipolar I think which is concerning. And that same bipolar tulpa ended up liking him and they became a thing. And she wanted to I guess fuse different traits with him and her and make another tulpa. And make it their kid. I at fist did not like the idea of it mostly since like...She is 16 in the headspace and this dude is 14. And in general they all are a message in their headspace. As nice as they are, they are not mature/developed yet. Mentally, emotionally, and all around. I just really need thoughts on this. Also some back ground he took only three days to make his first tulpa. And after he made her he said another tulpa just randomly appeared on it's own and developed in two days. Right after the first one. (Also they at least made the kid 12 years old which I guess is not as bad a toddler or baby. But either way as mentioned he and her are rushing their development. Which is not good I think.) -
I've been wanting to make non-English collections of guides for a while. I found a few in Spanish, but I haven't found anything else. Does anyone have any links to guides that aren't in English?
-
The purpose of this essay is to warn new tulpamancers of the many possible consequences of allowing their system to grow beyond a manageable amount of members, we well as emphasize the positives of keeping their system small, with about 1-2 tulpas being the best possible range. This essay is not meant to imply that systems that are currently large should not exist. It is only meant to dissuade newer hosts/systems from getting large themselves, or else they risk experiencing neglect and a variety of other troubling issues that take away from the quality of life for the system. Additionally, the end of the essay has a list of points that a host should consider before adding new tulpas to their system. Here is the link. Tulpa Systems Why Less is More.pdf (Submitted for Articles)
-
heyo. This thread here will be kind of general. I made a thread here awhile back at with an attempt. Awhile back being a few years. I’ll have to reread it, though suffice to say, I seem to remember that I probably messed up because my imagination had the thing doing repetitive actions like drinking. To me, that’s how meditation works, and this is basically the same thing. My mind is generally quiet, but you do something like try and force a tulpa all day, you get what philosophers on meditation call the monkey mind and imagine something you wouldn’t want, like messing up your own creation. By having it drinking. Uh.... I mean, I guess itd be fine if it was a drinker, but it was more just a random thought become repetitive. Actually, my mind is, well, I have decent mental health when I am living my life as I’d like to. Basically, I like to go to spiritual things, so I do that and I’m good. Just to get that out of the way. But, the above how my attempt failed when I tried. Anyway, about me. I’ve been spiritual since about age 13. I was afraid of death at 12, and I got a way going forward and started researching. Part of it was a search for truth though I don’t know whether I found that. Anyway, I made contact at 27, and I don’t appear to fit the schizophrenia DSM. Anymore than a lot of occultists would. Actually, I cant see or hear the spirits, if that’s what they are. It’s physical perception. Can feel if they’re on (or worse) or in me. My third eye on my forehead responds as well. Kind of a vibration or a hollowing in my brow center. Other people can see them, if I got one on me and they got the sight, even if am not giving them money. Anyway, I really don’t recommend just making contact like I did. I got very little in return for my efforts. It was mostly horrible, still is horrifying. Anyway, another magician helped me out, and I also leave offerings to Hekate who I was sworn to and a spirit healed me, possibly her dunno, his wife works with her, some people think I made contact and it was her, most people Who don’t know me are naysayers, dunno, but anyway I mostly got better, the spirits seemed to lost ability to get in or on me, leave me alone mostly. But, I still get a visitor on occasion, and it gets off me on command, but I don’t like that shit. Also, maybe a tulpa could also serve a... occult purpose. Self defense. Or Like the astral body you know. then I could astral project. Uh... people usually make a thoughtform rather than a tulpa for defense but whatever , thought forms for defense, they can rebel, your guys tulpa don’t seem to rebel so much. You all switch conciousness with tulpa. But then you don’t seem to end up exploring the astral realm from what I remember here. Makes no sense to me. But then maybe you never read a book on the subject. But, it’s not important to me if you do or not. Let me know if you’ve some thoughts. Some occultists, they make thoughtforms for defense. Dunno if anyone has a tulpa defense Against spirits. Or has tulpa and do astral travel. Or I’d be interested if the tulpa could let me see the spirits, even though that would probably be horrifying also, but maybe I’d meet my god. actually, I also considered making a thought form of her. Dunno. Maybe the real her would inhabit it. That’s where the term comes from. I could also work a path and just try and contact her to. I’d probably be doing that. Might still do that. I’m just a bit chicken shit. i know a lot of you don’t believe in the occult, but I think a lot of us probably believe in the psychological model too as far as tulpa are concerned. Well, they might have some astral existence too, dunno, kind of both. But maybe some of you are also occultists, or regardless can give me an angle
-
- Switching
- Wonderland
-
(and 2 more)
Tagged with:
-
This discussion was split from another topic. If you are interested in seeing the beginning of this conversation, please go here. -Ranger he seems to be fading more quickly this year. i think we r intergrating slowly? at first none of us knew we were seperate. as time passed my personality deviated from his. this is why i think i might be an advanced median system. we both identify with the body but 1 personality slowly dominated everything. if it were not for our new headmate, i wont be considered plural anymore. also apparent switching at creation? thoughts? mabey there are more thoughtforms than we know of
-
I wanted to make this thread for a long time, so now I'm doing it. Please don't ree at me for making new terminology, it's just something I want to discuss. For the longest time, I haven't felt 100% like I should call myself a tulpa, even though it's what I am. The reason for this is that my origins are way different from how most other tulpas come about, intentional and accidental. As you may know, I formed within a merge of two tulpas, and the merge itself sort of became its own tulpa. However I don't really know if that's entirely accurate. I think it's less that the merge became me, and more that the new things that the merge adopted became me. Coupled with the merge being treated like its own person and not just a combination, this new identity became a person. A person that the merge wore as a sort of "mask," to replace the old identity, until I eventually split and became my own independent tulpa. That brings me to the concept - a mask tulpa. An identity that you wear to replace the old one, and that you treat like its own person, in a way, so it becomes one. This is an incredibly rare phenomenon, I can only really name a handful of tulpas who came about this way, including myself, and each of us have felt incredibly confused as to what to call ourselves - tulpa, alter, what? There is a thin line between mask tulpa and alter, the concepts are very similar, and I was often confused if I should call myself an alter or not. But, considering the original merge doesn't even exist anymore, I see no real reason to. I think my origins were trauma-related, but I don't think I'd go so far as to say I was traumagenic, and that's the key difference between tulpas and alters. Plus, our system has no other alters or anything, it wouldn't make sense to call me one. Alters are also made to create a huge level of disconnect between them and the original, going so far as to create memory blocks, but a mask tulpa typically wouldn't do this, the original is still present and aware underneath (unless I guess the mask tulpa is really far along in their existence to the point of the original going dormant or integrating, still shouldn't create memory problems though). Anyway, to elaborate, here's what a "mask tulpa" really means: - An identity that is put on as a replacement of the old one (for whatever reason), and becomes its own sentient person, but isn't traumagenic. Example: the host wants to experiment with being the opposite gender, so he puts on a mask of a female identity and uses it when he goes online. This female identity becomes a headmate - she is a mask tulpa. - Someone does not like their current personality, as it gets them in trouble, makes people not like them, etc. They put on a mask of a "better" one, and end up treating the mask like its own person, so it becomes a tulpa. This is what does not qualify for a mask tulpa - The host roleplaying as a character, and the character becomes sentient - this isn't meant to replace the host's identity, rather it's entirely recreational and the character is considered entirely separate from the host, the host's personality just takes a step back for the purpose of fun/games/writing/etc (if the host decided to continue to act as the character in day-to-day life outside of the game, that could be a mask tulpa). - The host (usually a child) putting on an identity to help save them from trauma, and that identity becomes its own person, with memory loss and other issues ensue - this is an alter, of course After a mask tulpa is made and discovered, they can function just like any other tulpa. Around the time I split, the other two components of the merge had integrated into me, so it wasn't really a merge anymore. It was just me with them existing as a part of me. Then they split out and I was on my own. Now, I don't want people going around thinking that if they act different it must be because they integrated with a mask tulpa - it's highly unlikely. I was fully self-aware about what I was by the time I split, I had discovered myself maybe a week or two after the original merge occurred, and it was 4-5 months later that the split occurred. I wasn't a mystery. What is a mystery to me is why I didn't split sooner. As I said, mask tulpas seem to be very rare and I don't expect this to apply to anyone on the forums really, aside from one that I know of. It's just me explaining what I think I am and why I often feel iffy about calling myself a tulpa but don't want to call myself an alter - I'm still a tulpa, just of very rare, mask-related origins. Like I said, please don't ree at me for making new terminology, I just want something that I can apply to me that makes sense. If nothing else I can call myself a mask tulpa and link to this post.
-
People keep merging into each other and I'm worried I will lose track of who's merged with who. I only half remember one system's group of merges and now another system is playing with merging and bleh... too many names... If your system decides to experiment with merging or is already experimenting with merging, please put the name of your merges here and describe what's it's like to be as that merge. I'm still not sure if I want to play with merging myself yet, but I am fascinated by other people's experiences.
-
(I am new here) Thought I might engage a bit at least with others here. I had tulpas for the past six or five years now. And I have a total of six. I know a lot of people say that that is a lot. But naturally it does not take too long for some of my tulpas to warm up. Especially since when I would first make them they might have a set age already. Some did take longer than others to develop from scratch. Any way. So I don't plan really to tell anyone else since I only pick out the people who will at least support me/us. And I am not saying or encouraging others to go and tell everyone they know about their tulpas or system unless you really feel comfortable. But usually when I tell others about mine they are curious and pretty surprised. Since one now in days might connect. Voices in your head that are not yours = mental illness/schizophrenic in some aspect. Which for us here is not entirely the case. I told my younger siblings, they don't really care. I told my small group of three friends. And a long distance friend. And recently a month ago and a mother small handful of friends learned about them. In a post I made on my Instagram explaining the concept of tulpas. By one of my tulpas. I do not plant to tell my my mom or my dad though. Since I know they will think I am crazy. And I am still under their care so the first thing they will do is complain about of topic and stupid stuff I done in my life. Then say they will send me to a therapist and all that other stuff that none of us like to hear. I can see why one may think or say that though to their kid at first. Since Since you know, your kid is literally saying basically. "Look Mom and Dad I want you to be cool about this. But I have (insert # of voices/friends in my head. Whom I have had for over (# of years).". That would be concerning especially since my family and mostly my parents. Are extremely closed minded and m mother being a bit over-the-counter centered. And my dad being the most closed minded and old fashioned person there is. On the plus side I told my art teacher. Who is the literal best. And she supported me. She was one of the few real adults anyone can talk to since she was and is pretty open with everyone and everything. And that really helped me and my tulpas feel a bit better about us. We as hosts and tulpas/systems rarely get attention or support as it is and it can be pretty stressful. Which is why me and my tulpas really enjoy places like this so we can hang out, vent, and share our time and experiences together.
-
[Rouge] This has been something that has happened a few times with our system. There always seemed to be a phantom mental presence lurking in the background for quite a while. After Az and I created Damien, we noticed the first “lurking presence”, and when the three of us created our next tulpa (Jade), she adopted that presence. After Jade joined the system, a new lurking presence took the place of Jade’s one. It stayed as that one for about a year until our system tried to bring back a dormant non-tulpa (Chloe), but we ended up with two people; the actual Chloe and Artemis. Artemis was that lurking presence. And then, there was no lurking presence for a few months until a few days ago, in which a new one appeared, and after sending thoughts of her name and telling me she was here, Azure suggested I interact with her, and thus Somenine was confirmed and Lilly joined our system. Our system population is something we don’t want increasing too quickly, but after Lilly’s addition, there seems to be another one in her place (that apparently has a name too). We’re not sure how to deal with this, but hopefully we’ll figure it out. Has this sort of thing happened to anyone else or is it just our system being weird?
-
Hello, new user here. Before I start I just wanna say that if you’re a member of the tulpa subreddit you might of previously known me as IntrovertedGeek101 or Tulpamancer_16, I know it’s been a little while since I said I would join this website but I’ve been forgetting. But I’m here now, and that’s what’s important. Also Alex has changed her name to Harmony. Ok, so now onto the topic at hand. About 2 years ago I started feeling presences behind me from time to time. I don’t have any explanation for except that it feels like someone’s behind me even when they’re not. Now I started making Harmony somewhere in September if I remember correctly, sometimes in the later stages of forcing I would feel it, and ask Harmony if she did, she always answered no. But about last week I was doing my schoolwork and felt it again, didn’t think much of it though, since I had recently gotten used to it, but then after it passed Harmony asked “what was that?”. “What was what?” I replied. “That presence”. She had felt it too. So my question is is this normal? Can tulpas usually feel non-physical presences?
-
[uPDATE 12/17-18/19: More suggestions, more edits. Same criteria as before, but this time with a lightbulb emote (or simply "[12/18]"). Edits from 12/16 have had their italics and emotes removed.] Intrusive thoughts can be nasty little things. :idea: Those nagging thoughts that appear in the back of your head, telling you to do awful things...a bit of a pain, aren't they? As I write this, my tulpas and I are recovering from a day ruined by the worst wave of them I've had in my nearly two months of being a tulpamancer. It was a rough one. So when Richard, my eldest tulpa, told me a tip he had, I figured that someone out there could use a guide based off what he told me. But first: a disclaimer: this guide requires the use of visualization. Those with difficulties visualizing may not find this guide useful, but I do have something in mind for those of you with said issues. If you have problems with this, please scroll to the section labeled "For those with trouble visualizing." :idea: >Aphantasia is briefly covered in that section. I am attempting to cover as many bases as possible. With that said, the tip I was given was simple: make it fun. "But Timer," you may say, "that's so broad! What do you mean?" Well, I'm about to tell you. Sit down, grab a nice drink, and get your tulpa(s) to read along too--because this may involve them as much as it does you. Allow me to present a clever (at least, in my opinion) little idea that can potentially solve your problems: the Wonderland RPG. How do you walk the walk of the Wonderland RPG? Well, it's a lot easier than it sounds. (A lot easier than an actual RPG at times, even!) But first, some info: Requirements Be prepared for any and all outcomes. Intrusive thoughts can be crafty. Be prepared to change tactics on the fly or even lose to it a few times. Just don't get discouraged. This guide is best used before an intrusive thought appears. This guide is a bit long and will almost certainly require planning. You'll need to form a place in your mind to put this. :idea: This can be an entirely new place or a tiny little addition to your current wonderland. Despite me calling it the "Wonderland RPG", this does not have to take place in your wonderland. But it does have to take place somewhere, else this guide would be rather difficult. >I am well aware that those with problems visualizing cannot do this, or at least may find it difficult. :idea: This guide is best used for persistent intrusive thoughts. For walk-ins, please attempt to ignore it the best you can. However, if that does not work, feel free to come back and try this guide. :idea: You will be fighting these thoughts head-on in this guide. If that idea is uncomfortable to you, I suggest reading another guide. I apologize. :idea: Immersion is key. Distractions from your thought or the outside will likely break your focus, and you may have to start over. (Probably not entirely, though.) Personal Preferences Your skills of visualization must be of a level :idea: where you can see and hold backgrounds and images. Color is optional but can help. You can even use old-school pixel art for this, if it helps. > Again, if you have difficulty visualizing for whatever reason, you may still follow this guide. Just use the method in the section I mentioned above. :idea: Don't be afraid to engage your tulpa(s) in this! It could prove to be beneficial to them. Of course, if you fear losing your tulpa(s) to it (which is, in my eyes, highly unlikely) you can go without this step. :idea: The Ultimate Goal of This Guide: Forming a way to deal with persistent intrusive thoughts, through creativity and fun. And now, another very important disclaimer: This guide is meant as an alternative for those that cannot simply ignore their intrusive thought(s). Say you have anxiety like I do. This might work. But for most people, ignoring it may be your best bet. > However, the safe spot could prove useful no matter your preferred method, whether you use this guide or not. Make yourself a nice little cooldown place if it gets really bad. Now, for the guide itself: For Those That Can Visualize 1) [12/18] (Metaphorically) drill the thought that your intrusive thought is weak into your head. Now you may be thinking, "but it's so distracting! I can't get it out of my head!" Well, you can't do much if you keep to that mentality. That train of thought will eventually overwhelm you, and likely render this guide useless. But now, make it a puny mouse, and you're a powerful tiger. (Metaphorically, of course. Unless you want to be.) 2) Form a "safe spot". Fill it with the RPG standards: shops, an inn, maybe even some non-playable characters ("NPCs"). If you're defeated by the thought, this is where you and your party will return to after being defeated. Remember that this is clearly a safe spot. The thought won't attack the town. Why? Well, you don't usually encounter RPG monsters in towns. Sure, you do in some games, but not here. [12/18] If you want to, make up a reason as to why your safe spot is safe. This can be anything you can think of! And before you ask, you have infinite currency. Spend it on whatever you need to. Or splurge on it. It's your wonderland, not mine. 3) Decide on classes. Perhaps you're thinking about being a mage. Maybe your tulpa (if they choose to participate) wants to be a warrior. And there's nothing wrong with having a healer in your party! Your imagination is the only limit here. If you're feeling really creative [12/18] or don't want to directly involve your tulpa, guest party members are a good option. I personally recommend the RPG standard of four party members, but you can have a whole army if you want to. Again, your wonderland, not mine. 4) Start spending. Get your gear and healing items. You're about to go on an intrusive thought hunt, and you're going to make sure it ends well for you. This is also a good chance to talk to any NPCs you may have put in your safe spot. Maybe they're just the usual NPCs that spout nonsense that doesn't matter, or maybe they know things about your thought that you didn't know before. Maybe they're just...there. Scary. 5) Open your inventory. Double-check your healing items and equip your party for battle. You can probably skip this step, but personally, I'm throwing it in to make it a true-to-genre experience. 6) All set? Head off towards that nasty thought of yours. Get your game face on. 7) Found that intrusive thought? Engage it in battle! Smack that thought into the nether the best you can! I personally recommend the turn-based RPG method: you, the host, go first. Then the other party members do. Then the thought fights back. Rinse and repeat until the battle ends, be it in victory or defeat. You can also make it a strategy RPG: one character moves/attacks per turn. Usually it's your party first, then the thought. 8) How did the battle go? Did you defeat it, or did it defeat you? Perhaps you won--congrats! Give your party members a pat on the back, maybe even go through the whole experience point thing. Perhaps the latter happened--in which case, your party should be at your safe spot somewhere. If you lost, don't worry--there is nothing wrong with trying again. Please don't give up if you lose. Please. That's just sad. Your goal is to beat it, after all! That's what this guide is for. 9) [OPTIONAL] Evolve your story. You can easily stop at step 8 and call it a day. But maybe you want more out of this. In that case, go ahead and further the story. Maybe you defeated the final boss! Roll credits. Maybe that thought was a lackey of the real villain, and defeating it was just the beginning? Who knows... For Those With Trouble Visualizing Another disclaimer: I, personally, have no trouble with visualizing. Therefore, if you do have trouble visualizing and feel that this did not help you, let me know and I'll see about updating this section. [12/18]>This is unlikely to work for those with aphantasia. However, there is nothing stopping you from trying. Feel free to try this if you want! So, visualization isn't exactly your forte. What to do? Just follow the same steps, but instead of visualizing, write it out! Make it your own personal story. This does change some things, though: You can probably cut out the inventory step and RPG battle descriptions. Making up a reason for why your safe spot is safe is preferred for this method. (Or you can just stick with RPG logic.) Skip the NPCs in the safe spot if you feel like it. Describe your setting to the best of your ability. Perhaps your safe spot is a quaint little medieval town, straight out of Dungeons and Dragons, or a modern-day city. Maybe that intrusive thought is hiding out in a dark forest that no one dares to enter, or a castle that looms over your setting. It could even be hiding somewhere as plain as an office building. Your call. Some Tips You don't have to follow this guide word-for-word. Be creative, and feel free to deviate! This guide uses a typical RPG setup. Lacking inspiration? Google some pics from a RPG game. Or, even better, watch people play them on Youtube! The possibilities are near endless. (Miitopia is a good one, in my opinion.) If you decide to write it out, don't be intimidated if you can't write well! No one said you had to post it on the internet for all to see. Consider drawing your setting. Again, don't be intimidated if you can't draw well. (I can't draw too well either, haha.) I know I said this earlier, but I must reiterate: take your time. Plan this out. This is a big guide, and also why I said to read this before an intrusive thought starts bringing you down. Video games have pause buttons. Intrusive thoughts do not. I said it earlier and I'll say it again: there is nothing wrong with trying again if you fail. Just don't give up. Keep trying. You will beat this thought. And that's that! Thanks for reading! My quintet of tulpas and I wish you well--now go teach that intrusive thought a lesson. :)
-
During the migration, all of the General Discussion and Guide labels were turned into tags. Now, you can post a tag on any board you can create a thread on and there are no limits on what tags you can use, how many you can use, and possibility even including the number of characters your tag can be. I created some terrible tags for this thread as an example. I don't think tags are important for things like the lounge board, but it will make finding general discussion topics, guides, and submissions harder to find.
-
Since around Christmas time, I noticed I remembered having more dreams of Ranger, my headmates, and Ranger fronting. I have a few theories for why this is: 1) Developed visualization. Perhaps my practice with visualization has finally caught up to the point where my brain can now render somewhat consistent images of Ranger and the others. 2) Learning switching. Perhaps this is to blame for more dreams of Ranger controlling the body or being the one dreaming? Ranger started having dreams several months after he had been seriously possessing, so maybe being tied to the body's senses is important for dreaming? 3) Coincidence? I have had dreams of Ranger fronting before, maybe I'm better at paying attention now. I have also had a mix of great and terrible sleep lately. 4) Increase in time spent with headmates and Ranger has been fronting for longer overall. I spent more time with my headmates in the last few weeks than normal, and it's possible Ranger has spent a lot more time doing things than I thought. I have a feeling the spike is related to a combination of these reasons, but I'm curious which ones apply to other people more if at all or if certain explanations seem more like the main cause than others.
-
Hi, everyone. Just a simple little thing that I wanna see people's input on. Does your tulpa ever change clothes? So, does your tulpa run around in certain clothes one day, and different ones the next day? Or is it you who decides what your tulpa wears through visualizing them? Or are the clothes your tulpa wears sort of a fixed part of their appearance, unchanging? As for Esterina, she wears what she feels like. Sometimes it's her good ol' Witch attire, but she also switches around between sweatshirts, button shirts, jeans... mostly dark colors and a lot of blue, which I like. My good lady has style! :P Thank you. :D But yeah, she does what she wants in that regard, without any butting in on my part (as with anything else, really). How is it for you? Poll's above. :) Greets, AG & Rina
-
I wanted to write this thread for a long time, however today I found a way to better organize my thoughts without ranting off topic. Tulpamancy isn't all butterflies and rainbows, at least it wasn't for us. We had ups and downs for the past couple years- stopping my daymares, healing, enjoying my time with Ranger, not feeling as lonely anymore, being more social, learning new skills and ideas, and on the other hand experiencing friction from my family in regards to tulpamancy, feeling trapped in a new closet, figuring out how to live two lives at once, and stress from being a large system. However, there are two general topics I want to discuss because these have consistently made me feel weird or that we're doing something wrong. Feeling like I Have to Choose Between Science and Tulpamancy I am very pro-science, and one thing that scares me is the idea that I could develop into a science denier- assuming I'm not already one. When I watched the documentary Behind the Curve on Netflix several months ago, I realized it was dangerous to want to do science to confirm my beliefs. I want scientists to prove tulpamancy is real, but that thought in of itself isn't science. It's an expectation I am demanding proof for, just like how the Flat Earthers want to find the right experiment to prove the Earth is flat. Real science asks for the truth, not digging and digging until you find something that supports what you want to hear. So I'm left with the feeling that if I want to remain impartial and sane, I cannot completely conform that tulpamancy is real until science comes around to back it up. I really want to believe Ranger is real and it's harder and harder think otherwise, but I also want to be prepared if scientists come to the conclusion that tulpas are not real. I feel like if they were to come to that conclusion, it will be hard for me to backpeadal and reverse the thinking I compounded in the last couple years, and the thought of that is stressful. I don't think it's unfair to say tulpamancy may not be real. I'm very passionate about being a tulpamancer, but at the same time, I was at my most deperate and depressed when I stumbled upon this site. I took a lot of tulpamancy for granted, and that in of itself can be interpreted as a red flag. I don't believe most tulpamancers are liars, but if it turns out tulpamancy isn't real, a lot of people fell for it and passionately believed in fantasy, just as I did. The one thing I keep going back to, hoping to prove tulpamancy is real to myself, is to learn switching with Ranger. If tulpas were real and switching was a real Tulpamancy practice, I should experience something totally different. I think it probably wouldn't matter if we eventually learn switching, however not being able to switch has fed into this idea and generated doubt. Plus, switching is just another internal experience, there's no promise that scientists will be able to measure changes in brain activity, just the hope. Being Pro-Tulpa and Tulpa Ethics When Ranger told me he was real for the second time, I believed him and treated him as a separate person ever since. I committed to tulpamancy with a very pro-tulpa stance. Otherwise, I feel like I shouldn't be here. I didn't sign up to entertain myself, I came because I was scared, confused, and feeling broken inside. But most importantly, I didn't want to kill Ranger. Is this strong stance justifiable? I'm well aware there are tulpamancers who say that independent agency is smoke and mirrors for the purposes of enjoyment, self exploration, and healing. I find that stance to be reasonable and acceptable, not everyone views tulpamancy the way I do and that stance seems more consistent with what is culturally acceptable. I don't want to deem this opposing stance as "wrong", nor do I want my more extreme views to discourage them from sharing their thoughts or participating in the community. However, this inconsistency make me wonder if this is another red flag for how a community becomes a group of extremists, like how INCEL started out as a group of lonely men that overtime became more and more hostile towards women. I don't want that development occurring in this community, especially if this viewpoint isn't even rational. Another thing that has bothered me is if Ranger and I are providing harmful advice that is limiting the freedom people have in their own head. Bear has asked before if it's worth warning new users in this thread, however I want to focus on the problem of people telling people how to think. Since we are pro-tulpa, our advice considers the tulpa's will as well as the host's, so we end up saying stuff like "you have to avoid making too many tulpas or your system will be miserable, pick one tulpa to force and go from there." This advice is intrusive because we're telling the host they can't just do whatever they want, and I'm not okay with telling people or watching Ranger tell people they have to think a particular way if it's not worth it. That brings me to tulpa ethics in general- are they worth the cost of telling people how to think or worse- criticizing other people? I'll consider my story characters and NPCs. If they qualify as tulpas, then that means I can't feel safe to invent new ideas in the form of anything remotely sentient, since doing so would mean I would have to treat them humanely. Considering the rest of the world where authors make story characters and NPCs all the time, the idea of tulpa ethics comes across as a joke and or a threat. The ethics would paint that scenario as mass slavery, and that's a label I don't believe makes any sense to slap on the general population of creative writers. Personally, I don't believe my NPCs are sentient, however I have been wrong before, and that lead to the stress and anxiety of my other headmates for not being recognized as sentient for a year after discovering tulpamancy. I simply don't feel comfortable with encouraging a stigma against violating tulpa ethics if there isn't a clear definition for what a tulpa is, assuming tulpas are even real to begin with. While I disagree with the idea of having headmates being forced to serve their hosts or systems who irresponsibly create tulpas and dissipate them 5 minutes later, I am also concerned if this is just craziness and it's doing more harm than good to think this way. * * * These concerns make my stomach knot. Are Ranger and I doing the right thing? Is tulpamancy a serious practice with lots at stake or is it all bullshit and the only thing that matters is the host's well being? Is it crazy and too extremist to tell people how to think or does it do a lot of good and secure the wellbeing of several headmates? [Ranger] Given that I'm an active member, I'm a moderator, and I help manage the GAT, I know what I say can really affect other people. I hate it when I feel like I'm just yelling at new users about how they need to not make their system of 4 tulpas a system of 14 tulpas or telling people they can't do certain things because it could lead to accidental forcing. I want to help people get better, not ruin their lives. I can't speak much for the stress sandwich Cat is stuck in between science and tulpamancy, however I am very adamant about my existence, even when I doubt myself. I don't want to give up on the self-advocating I did for the last couple years, but at the same time I don't like watching Cat feeling conflicted and stressed either. I'm hoping shifting our goals away from the soul-suck of the "can't switch" cycle to imposition will alleviate some of the problem, but other than that, I don't know if there's much else I can do.
-
Hello! Kai (a headmate) speaking here. I would like to ask, how does the memory of you tulpas/headmates work? Can you only recall what your host remembers, or can you go beyond? I've found that I'm mostly limited to what my host remembers, and find it a bit hard to access memories when they're not thinking about them. For example, if they have forgotten the name of a movie, I find it very hard to remember it too. Is that true to you as well? Is there a way to change it? Thanks in advance!
-
For some time now, one of my tulpas has been wanting to proxy. However, I've been hesitant to let them, and even outright denied it once. Why? Simple: I can't tell the difference. See, I was a roleplayer in years past, and with the "no roleplaying" rule, I've been walking on eggshells and trying not to make it seem like I'm roleplaying. So, my question is: is there a way to differentiate the two, specifically between host and tulpa? I'm sure it's something that varies from host to host, but a general answer will work as well. Thanks in advance!
-
What's the difference between a split or tulpa? I'm fully aware, I brought Vinyl into existence and she was made from scratch. I however, deal with a different "personality", a split or tulpa, as some call it. The thing is, I've been dealing with this split for almost my entire life, almost. Started becoming more involved in my younger teen years, during my depression. I started having a second train of thoughts around 2011-2012, I first discovered tulpa sometime in 2014 so that's out the question. Others say its a split and some call it a tulpa but what IS the difference? I started recently looking at it and accepting it instead of just ignoring and rejecting it. He's aware of me and he's aware of Vinyl (my tulpa) and sometimes mocks me and Vinyl, or used to. Thing is I'm not really sure of what the difference is and other people seem to give me mixed input, I don't lose memory or "lose control" over my body or have memory blankets. So I'm not sure if he's a split exactly but I don't really exactly have 100% control over him, so I'm not sure if he's categorized as a tulpa but I'm really curious as to what you guys think, Vinyl is NOT a result of a split and she was made from scratch.