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sexuality is difficult. it's easy to see someone and recognize that they're beautiful, but the question of "am i actually attracted to them?" is one that i've not been able to answer. i'm still not entirely certain what other people are referring to when they talk about 'attraction' and 'love', or if there even is a consensus definition and everyone doesn't have their own idiosyncratic meanings for those words. ultimately, it's not incredibly meaningful whether or not i have what someone else would call 'attraction' or 'love' to what decisions i would want to make, but it would be nice to understand what people are talking about

Wow, the art is so amazing. I think they all look stunning, so I'm not going to try to pick one. I admit I'm a teeny bit jealous of your avatars. My host consciousness and I tried to avatar me early on, but we couldn't get one that looked enough like how I appear in our mind, so we sort of gave up.

I THINK WE CO-FRONTED ! I'm not certain because I have no idea what it is supposed to feel like, but here is what happenned. Before going to sleep, I decided to listen to some trance electro music with Ella. This type of music generally feels very stimulating for me, creating lots of vivid visuals and opening my mind and imagination. For this occasion I took her to a new place I had been thinking about for the mindscape, a gorgeous forest with an enchanted aesthetic (for other sims 4 players, this place looks very similar to the Sylvan Glade). The grass is fresh and vivid green, there is a small lake with pristine, glistening water. During the day, the light filters through the pink tree leaves while the night sky is lightened by aurora borealis. We danced under this amazing night sky, the coloured lights reflecting in the water and on her body and face. Between the scenery and the music, it all felt very psychedelic, spiritual, her violet eyes piercing through the dark and she looked like a goddess. I had always felt her presence as a halo of warm lavender light, and I felt it pour from my head into my shoulders, arms, chest, all the way down to my feet. It felt like instead of her looking at the outside world through my eyes, I was the one looking through her eyes. The touch of my blanket felt different, the feelings looking around this familiar room were sort of alien, also when drinking something my tongue was moving differently in my mouth. I was still fully connnected to the body's senses, and felt that I could take full control at any moment with ease, but I tried to manage my excitement and let go of this control, I could feel the thought before every movement a lot more than I usually do. It was hard to really feel if I was the one moving the body or if Ella was, but what I know for sure is that we were both fully connected to the body and reacting to the moment, we could also communicate fluently in mindvoice. Sometimes I would overcome Ella accidentally, but I would focus again on the forest, the music, and feel her flow through my body again. We danced gently, admired the light of the city through the window, it felt like rediscovering how my appartment felt like. She also introduced herself to my girlfriend via text, with her own words, after she said she wanted to do it and I encouraged her to. I hope soon I can at least proxy for her to talk to you too ! Then, I guided us through my night routine, funnily the body reacted a lot stronger than I usually do to the taste of toothpaste, and went to sleep thinking about her. Usually when I think about her before sleep I picture in us in the teenage bedroom mindscape, relaxing on the bed, but exceptionally this night I thought it would be fun to camp in the forest. It was pleasingly strange to see how the environment bent to my wishes and despite sleeping outside, the air was warm and comfortable. It was probably the best moment I spent with Ella so far, she was so close and real, and everything was breathtakingly beautiful and vivid Edit : Thank you Lavender for this reassurance, as this post shows things seem to be going better now but it was pretty frustrating to go through and I felt guilty for not being able to give Ella as much attention as I wanted to. Since she would barely communicate with me I'd be stressing about how she feels about it, I know she wants to grow and it makes me sad and anxious when I can't help her fulfill her wishes after being the one that brought her here. But she is smart, and she sees in detail the mess that is my brain haha, so while she admits it made her a little sad, she doesn't resent me and knows I have been doing my best all along. The song idea seems to be a great one, after all she loves music and wouldn't mind it at all haha, we should think together of a tune I identify with her

3/1/25: I watched The Countess; Nina wasn’t really into it and wanted to play Outer Worlds instead. I had some post-surgical pain that felt pretty raw and distracting, so Woodfather (as Splinter) started tulpish-ing a guided meditation (when I had post-surgical pain as a kid, I’d imagine myself in Hawaii; the meditation was based on that, except replace Hawaii with the 2003 TMNT lair). 3/2/25: We chatted about stuff. 3/3/25: We chatted about stuff. 3/4/25: We chatted about stuff. 3/5/25: We chatted about stuff. Some imposition happened. Fluttershy promised to intervene if I had nightmares for whatever reason :). Nina said that was based :3. 3/6/25: We chatted about stuff 3/7/25: We chatted about stuff 3/8/25: We chatted about stuff 3/9/25: We chatted about stuff 3/10/25: We chatted about stuff 3/11/25: We chatted about stuff. Some imposition happened. 3/12/25: We chatted about stuff 3/13/25: We chatted about stuff 3/14/25: I forgot to log stuff 3/15/25: I forgot to log stuff 3/16/25: I asked Vinnie what he thought his physique should be, and he jokingly suggested Alexander Louis Armstrong :P. 3/17/25: I forgot to log stuff 3/18/25: We chatted about stuff 3/19/25: We chatted about stuff 3/20/25: I forgot to log stuff 3/21/25: While flying, I saw Dash outside the plane, up close to the window. 3/22/25: I forgot to log stuff 3/23/25: We chatted about stuff. There was some good vocality. 3/24/25: We chatted about stuff 3/25/25: Thorax and I chatted. 3/26/25: I forgot to log stuff. 3/27/25: Dash sat on my leg when doing leg exercises, to add some weight :3. 3/28/25: We chatted about stuff 3/29/25: Been on a Ben 10 kick recently, so Thorax turned into Ben :3. Dash complimented me on daily workouts :). 3/30/25: I forgot to log stuff 3/31/25: We chatted about stuff

One that I made for Bee: And one we found on reddit a while ago that still gets a chuckle out of me:

Thank you! Thank you so much Miri!

Surprise presence imposition! 😁 I have done that to Chloe a few times but never on purpose. 😄 It's cool to see that you are both spending time switched in, and it's nice to see you starting to write these yourself! 😁

Okay, you're aware that you're mind is a dark place, but are you also aware that pessimistic thoughts can be very deceiving? I mean... when they tell you that going to work is imprisonment, self improvement is impossible, talking to people is just babysitting, and that you only exist to suffer because you don't know how to do anything else, those thoughts... they're not the truth... but I'm not going to lie to you either, money is needed to have a stable life, and you need a safe environment too, you don't need to be perfect, or even good, you just need to let yourself exist to survive, and anything that comes after that can be a bonus, that I feel, when you stop expecting things, good or bad, can the breakthrough you need to stop judging yourself all the time, and stay grounded. It's really important to not let those "realistic" thoughts tell you how to feel, even if you feel numb and just space out, you're not broken, I wish you well and hope that you can stay grounded during this difficult time. Also, my host is kinda depressed, so they hide in their house and act like it's a solution to their problem, it not, but if you find a better solution, we would love to hear it. Ah... As for whether or not to create a tulpa, I would ask you, can you detach yourself from your own thoughts? Can you see them as products of the mind and not a reflection of who you are? If you can do that, really do that, to the point were you can decide to drop your thoughts and make your own, that... i feel, is when you're ready to make a tulpa. - Reina

Thank you!

Hi everyone! The second round of interviews are available for your reading pleasure. This time the interviewees are Mirror (Circe's sister), and her husband Thor, I also managed to squeeze in one with Ara who is our newest tulpa. As with the other interviews, this is marked NSFW, so be aware of that. [Here] is a link to the blog entry. As always, we love comments and questions, so don't be afraid to pipe up if you're wondering about something!

: World: prahtoolf. Location: Platinum Regis. Time: 6:00 AM. We were in the prahtolfian Palace of Versailles, which is slightly different from the original in France. yanus was wearing a light pink shirt and denim shorts. We sat on the balcony couch: _ What are you going to do today? _ Nothing. I usually don't do anything.

Modern tulpamancy does tend to be more relaxed, yeah, I feel that it's because 1, people now have a better understanding of what is essential and what isn't, and 2, there was more competition between tulpamancers to see who would break the mold first when it came down to making these then new discoverys. I like the formating here. That sounds rough. An accident tulpa develops subconsciously, so it makes sence for them to have been influenced/created by months of planning. Julia may be getting this feeling from the subconscious mind, it's normal to need to check a boyfriend to see if they're still suitable, and to have some (realistic) doubts about people just to prevent trusting others blindly. Good luck, I wish you all the best.

This is exactly what I'm striving for! I'm glad you caught that.

oh i see i do agree with that. i would rather have an afterlife that may start out hard but can improve than cease to exist i feel it will start out some degree of good or bad depending on how i am in life at point of death

One unexpected side quests of realizing I'm trans is getting in touch with my lesbianism. My idea of what "lesbian music" is was formed in the 90s, and back then it all seemed ugly, bitter and angry. (Even though it wasn't all like that) I wish more joyful songs like this existed back then! This has become one of my favorite songs! (Warning: Explicit lyrics haha)

[Note] Hello! As much as I fell in love with this idea, I currently have too many drawbacks to do it on my own. If someone is interested in following this method, feel free to do so! My studies, the fact that I don't personally know anyone in the community and my lack of experience in the actual creation process have humbled me and convinced me of going for a more traditional approach for my first headmate. But who knows what the future might bring? Thank you for reading me! Hello! As I explained in my previous post, which I will require you to read, as my reasoning and motivations are expressed in there, I want to attempt the creation of my first tulpa through a method that is slightly different than usual: Adoption. In short, I am looking for a group of volunteers (or a single tulpa/host!) Who would be willing to shape the base of a tulpa, their character, as well as their core characteristics, and then introduce them to me. I will then do some forcing based on these characteristics as I carry out other techniques such as imposition, vocalization, visualization, etc. with the intent of being detached from the creation process and avoid focusing on "character creation" and more on actually working towards the tulpa's development from the start. In good old tulpamancer fashion, I will document as much of the process as possible. Of course I have some guidelines and prefferences, and would love to have a conversation about it. If you are interested, please send me a private message!

Hello! This is something I struggled with before, so I will share the mindset that has helped me regain my life. This might sound harsh because it is harsh, but true, and necessary: Honestly, just download a detox app (the kind that makes your screen black and white and only text with no icons), make a habit of ONLY looking for information in books (download them in pdf if necessary, or use Academia.edu), uninstall TikTok, Instagram, YouTube. No, you do not need them. No one is going to be upset at you if you don't watch and answer to all of their 30+ reels, and you can always explain to them why you disappeared. If you use social media for studying or working, use it in a computer if possible, not a phone. When you want to watch Youtube, watch a movie instead. If you get bored mid-movie and need to multitask, clean, organize something, finish some work, etc. Look for stuff to do in the real world. Go for a walk, visit a family member, attend a conference on the evolutive patterns of mollusks and what they tell us about late-stage capitalism, anything that reminds you that you do not to experience life through a phone. I went to a charity orchestra event last week and I have a webinar tomorrow. It can be as simple or as ceremonial as you wish. And I know it can be cringe at first because it sounds like the kind of activities that only pretentious know-it-alls want to participate in. The truth is, you only have one shot at life: Do whatever the f*** you want with it! No one will be judging you in a century from now. For the tulpa(s): Help your host build accountability and kindly let them know when their behavior is being disruptive, but only if that is truly the case! Talk about your needs, but not in a negative or defeated spirit. DO NOT CALL THIS A DOPAMINE ADDICTION. This term makes zero sense. Dopamine is a hormone that our brain releases, and it is present in all addictions. Calling it a "dopamine addiction" has to be seen as a way to unnecessarily admit helplessness and treat something that is completely normal as a pathology. This is not the fault of your host, or anyone in your system, it is the natural consequence of engaging with content designed to entertain your brain 24/7 for profit. That brain is also yours. So, since you do not control the body for at least the majority of the time, take part in reminding your host when it's time to drop the phone and ground themselves, not dwelling in meaningless and helpless remorse that will only make them want to go back to their phone. Also call them out when they themselves jump into this train of tought. Once you feel more comfortable with taking accountability of your actions and having more control of your time, THEN rebuild your relationship with social media through a different lens: Create new accounts for everything and train your algorithm by following accounts that are useful, make you feel better or only upload quality long-form content. DO NOT comment, DO NOT interact with upsetting/triggering material, DO NOT argue with anyone. Try to change the content you consume little by little. Not only in what it tells you, but also how it says it. I have recently discovered the page of Humanists International, for example, and I also started following blogs that are important for me such as Hopeful Panda. Written pages have the benefit of forcing your brain to do stuff to start processing it, instead of it being played in automatic while you dissociate, and building your collection can help you escape the absolute nightmare that is generative AI content. This is why I recommend personal blogs and NGO's sites for international or public interest news and nothing more. Most of the self-proclaimed "video essay" channels on YouTube have zero journalistic integrity, null communication expertise and no investigative abilities. You are better off using your time elsewhere. Also, super important: Remember to feed yourself well! If you eat sugar regularly, spending hours and hours not doing so can actually contribute to creating the feeling of dizziness you describe. Same with caffeine. Salt, water, fibers, vitamins and proteins are a necessity for you brain to work well.

That's wonderful!!!!! 😁

Glad to hear she's still here! 😊 Sometimes just chilling in headspace can be more fun than being imposed in physical space.

Yanu was wearing black tuxedo & I'm white .. we are fit .. It was in a big hall in a white Italian palace near beach . I felt love ..just love towered yanus & human beings & humanity. This was the music & song ..it soft may be u think it sad ..but think it ...like the ending scene of beautiful romance movie ...where suhail & yanus dancing in front of country wood house & the camera view gets high & high ...& we are getting small of course .

Thanks Athelas...much love to you 🤎🧡❤️💚💙🩷💜🩵🥰💖

Thank you Simmie! Probably 90% of my wardrobe is purple or black, they're my favorite colors

I prefer to use my term cobud instead of tulpa and cocreation instead of tulpamancy I did write a tips and tricks guide and posted it here. However, I feel the guide is lacking at best and not helpful at worst. Spoiler alert, I have some non-cocreation related issues with my host, Gray, that we need to sort out before we can tackle that issue from a cocreation perspective. I'm also working on a switching guide (at slower than molassis pace) that will be directed to everyone in-system. But don't get too excited- it's not my main priority, and while I'm on my third incomplete draft, transitioning to my fourth, me realeasing a completed guide or even a strong draft of it this year would surprise me. We (Gray and I) have a couple other guide related things posted, but they're not relevant here. Anything we deem a beginner skill makes more sense to us as a host-focused guide, and Gray may or may not write for a general system audience if he finishes writing and publishing any of his other guide ideas. Don't hesitate to start now. I feel the more guide content, the merrier. Plus, if you decide to do some research, you'll have higher quality advice than 85% of the current practicing mancers. Like Lucilyn said, that's more general life advice and personal experience than guide material. If I wrote a dedicated work about that, it would be an article/essay rather than a guide. At the very least, I left this response in a thread from a little while ago. That thread is about a toxic blog from what I'm guessing is a butthurt ex-mancers who felt rejected by the community and tried to make themselves feel better by fake claiming other endos. 99% of the time, fake claiming comes from systems insecure about their own system's validity. I feel that learning to be comfortable with who you all are as a system is the best answer. This can be done by thinking about it a lot, but it may require trauma work too. Sadly, there isn't an easy answer to how to cope with this. There's the simple solution of not reading syscourse, but come on, everyone is guilty of reading it (yes, even you random lurker reading my post!). Asking around, reading people's posts here, reading other threads and blogs (as Lucilyn suggested), all can help give insight too. I'm comfortable enough that I don't care about a 15 year old's obviously character Spiderman cobuds (which ironically can become individual-identifying cobuds later), but the "waifumancers" rub me the wrong way. If they're sharing their sex NPC stories with friends whatever, but most tend to brag about sexual harassment out loud in public. Cobuds can be abused by their hosts, and I feel that judgement is justified when these people think it's okay to abuse everyone else in the chat just by saying vile and toxic things. I assumed you meant isolation regarding syscourse, but if not I'll add this- making friends in the community and in other online spaces can help. Being openly plural, even in person, helps a lot too. Of course, only do that if you feel safe doing it. We are obnoxiouly mostly open books, so we don't care that much. Although now that we had to move to politically red country, we don't feel as safe coming out. College campuses are pretty safe though. What you're going through is normal. I know a lot of paromates out there can relate, you're not the only one.

💗 💗 💗 Yes, that's what drew me to it. Like stalactites and stalagmites, even thought it's really a tree stump. Thanks. I think this guy was high up in a tree (outside our window) so he didn't see us and felt pretty safe and I had time to focus and center him in the shot. Thanks. The cracks certainly form an interesting pattern. I'm with you there. It's just a sandy piece of ground. We hadn't had rain for a couple weeks so the ground was super dry. But I thought the arrangement and variety of stones made it interesting. It's one of my favorite shots from this bunch. They might have started out to be knots but the underlying wood was hollowed out. Maybe boring insects or just the insides rotted faster than the outer shell. Thanks for the comments. 💗