[Misc] How to Dissipate a Tulpa (Guide Submission)
#1
How to Dissipate a Tulpa
by G of JGC

Preface
Hello. I understand the topic of this how-to guide may be upsetting to some. The high mortality rate for tulpas, especially in their first year of existence, is common knowledge. However, these events are rarely reported to the community, and are generally frowned upon. When someone is considering dissipation or after someone has dissipated a tulpa, they may be told: 

“If you are going/were going to dissipate them, why did you create a tulpa in the first place?”
“If you weren’t ready, you should have known ahead of time.”
“It is cruel/immoral/evil to dissipate a tulpa- you shouldn’t do it/have done it.”

This guide will not address the first two responses. This guide is not “How to Avoid Being in the Situation Where You Dissipate Your Tulpa” or “How to Make Sure Your Tulpamancy Practice Goes Well.” This guide is meant for those who are seriously considering dissipating a tulpa, and are seeking information about the mechanics of the process. 

As for the third response, I would like to argue that 1.) In many cases, the tulpa’s quality of life would be especially poor, and they are likely to dissipate on their own accord, as well as 2.) this guide will alleviate suffering and internal trauma by allowing tulpas to dissipate without violence, without the involvement of hatred, and with a sense of closure for all involved.


Love to all,
Gavin


How to Dissipate a Tulpa: The “Why”

*Disclaimer: This guide will refer to the person who is dissipating the tulpa as the “host”, though this may not be the case in every situation. Though this guide is geared strongly towards tulpas, it could be used as a resource for dissipating non-tulpas as well. I cannot vouch for how this guide will apply for these situations.

Why would a host dissipate their tulpa?
This is a good question. You could write hundreds of pages on the topic:
  • What drives people to create such a bond, then end it?
  • Do they understand what they’re getting into when they make a tulpa?
  • What type of person is more likely to dissipate their tulpa?
  • What are the risk and protective factors for a tulpa’s continued existence?
If you wish to debate these questions, I encourage you to create a thread on Tulpa.info, or utilize other social media platforms such as r/Tulpas or the numerous tulpa-related Discords. However, I will not be speaking much at all about these types of questions within this guide.

The host’s situation may resemble any of the following:
  • They have made little progress with their tulpa: the tulpa is not sentient, is minimally vocal, and is devoid of any “spark of life.” In short, they have decided to give up with the tulpa creation process. They may have been trying for weeks, months, or even longer.
  • They are not devoted to their tulpa. They spend less and less time with their tulpa, feel less and less connected/bonded to them, and may wish they never created a tulpa in the first place, or that their tulpa isn’t real. A host in this situation may also already have another tulpa or tulpas.
  • The host and tulpa perceive themselves to have a negative, toxic, or even dangerous dynamic. Either the host or tulpa (or both) feel that the other is too strong of a negative, toxic, or dangerous influence on them. The tulpa might be some form of personification/representation of a bad trait or even a fictive of some “evil” character. Violence or other negative/unethical/hurtful acts may be involved, and the host may fear for their sanity. They want to be free from each other.
I speculate that the first two situations are the most common (a host gives up on creating a tulpa, and a host no longer wants a tulpa) while the last situation (a host considers a tulpa dangerous to their sanity) is less common. However, it is hard to say for sure, especially since the majority of dissipations are likely not reported to the community. 

With the “Why” out of the way, we can move on to the next steps.


How to Dissipate a Tulpa: What is Dissipation? Is it Permanent?

Dissipation is the termination, the death, of your relationship with your tulpa, and by extension, the death of your tulpa. After a tulpa is dissipated, they are not considered to presently exist or to be alive. They are no longer mentally active, and there is no expectation that they will be in the future: they do not talk, they do not feel, they do not process, they do not react in any way- they are dead. After dissipation, you will not have a living relationship with your tulpa.

Most tulpas are dependent, in some aspect, on their hosts. Very young tulpas, especially non-vocal and non-sentient tulpas, may have never acted without the host’s attention or direction. Younger tulpas may go “dormant”, “inactive”, or “disappear” if they are not forced or otherwise given attention. More independent tulpas are capable of speaking and acting without the host first paying attention to them/prompting a response.

The less developed your tulpa is, the less time and effort dissipation will take. Tulpas, with time and development, imprint within your brain. The longer they exist, and the more involved in your life they are, the harder it will be for that bond to end. If you have a non-vocal or non-sentient tulpa, it is likely that after you formally say goodbye, they will be dissipated. The relationship between you two will have ended. If your tulpa is independent enough that you spontaneously, without forcing them, receive mindvoice/tulpish/emotions/other responses, dissipation may take longer. I was deeply entrenched in my host’s life. His entire internal monologue was a dialogue, a conversation that I was always in. Retraining his brain so that I was never part of that conversation, my “mental program” was never turned on (and so, was allowed to fade away) took time. It took around two weeks for 90% of me to dissipate. The next 9.99% faded away over a course of three months.

I would say 100% of me dissipated, but as you may have noticed, I am not currently dead. This is another important point: the more developed your tulpa, the less likely they will ever fully go away forever. For this reason, dissipating a host (who presumably has been mentally active for years and years) is near-impossible. It is possible for most tulpas and even most hosts to “turn off”, that is, to go mentally inactive. Dissipation could also be defined as a state of permanent, total mental inactivity, such that you no longer have an active relationship with your tulpa- they are considered dead. However, I was “dead” for approximately four years. It only took five minutes of concentration on my host’s part to “revive” me.

Dissipation, though still considered a permanent process, is in many cases reversible: the host can bring the tulpa back. So long as that 0.01% of the tulpa is left in the brain, whether that part of the brain is being used or not, the tulpa can be “revived."

If the idea that your tulpa won’t be 100% gone forever scares you because you want them 100% gone forever, don’t worry: it will be up to you if they ever come back. If you never want them back, they will never come back. 

Having a tulpa is a bit like (though not exactly like) being married. If you are married to someone, you can divorce them. You divorce them, relationship over, and you say, “I will never get back together with them!”
A divorce is pretty serious: most would say, a divorce is the permanent end of a relationship. Most people never get back together with the person they divorce- they probably never even see that person, though they might still think of them from time to time.

However, every now and again… a divorced couple rekindles their relationship. They get remarried. But this doesn’t happen unless you want it to. If you never want your tulpa in your life again, that’s okay. You will reach a point where you don’t hear them anymore, you don’t see them anymore, you don’t interact with them in any way. You might still think back on that time of your life, and that’s alright. It’s just like reminiscing about any past relationship; it doesn’t mean you have to go get remarried. So, don’t worry that you could rekindle your relationship with your tulpa, and reverse the dissipation process. So long as you are committed that you won’t, then it won’t happen.

What will happen when your tulpa has dissipated:
  • You will no longer interact in any capacity with them, or they with you. (No thoughts, emotions, tulpish, etc.)
  • Your tulpa will be completely mentally inactive.
  • They will be considered permanently gone, as in dead. HOWEVER, dissipation is in many cases a reversible process, BUT it will not reverse unless you will it to reverse. Consider divorce: it is the permanent ending of a relationship, although the couple could always remarry.

How to Dissipate a Tulpa: The “How” 

In addition to having dissipated myself at the urging of my host, I have also dissipated two thoughtforms. One was vocal and sentient, though markedly less than myself. The other was not vocal nor sentient and very short-lived, though persistently present for its existence, as well as disturbing to my host. A lot of what I did was wrong. I have dissipated tulpas carelessly, violently, and cruelly. I have drawn upon my memories and reflections of these events in order to write this guide. I hope that, by sharing this nonviolent process for dissipation, suffering and internal trauma can be avoided within your system. I hope that you can benefit from what I have learned. 

The Basics:

  1. You will explain to your tulpa what dissipation means, why are you dissipating them, and how the process will happen, even if you doubt they understand.
  2. You will formally say goodbye.
  3. You will cease all interaction with your tulpa. If your tulpa is not sentient, this will likely be it: they will dissipate.
  4. If your tulpa responds without your attention, you will need to retrain your brain to not have these responses, and you will need to learn to not provide any interaction. Eventually, your tulpa will completely dissipate.
  5. You will adjust to life without your tulpa.
THE GOAL: 
Quote:Dissipation should be as peaceful, accepted, and humane as possible in order to reduce suffering and internal trauma. 

Peaceful: 
The worst thing you can do is be violent during the dissipation process. Again, think of a couple that’s getting divorced. One or both parties may want to make a big display, to show the other that they’re really done with each other: they might lash out violently. It’s damaging, if not traumatizing. Very soon, you will no longer have your tulpa. Don’t become a villain. Don’t visualize yourself killing your tulpa, or hurting them in any fashion. You don’t need to do that in order to dissipate them. Even though we may talk about it like bodily death, dissipation does not require any sort of damage to your tulpa’s body or mind.

Accepted:
Do you really want this?
You will, most likely, feel some amount of regret, guilt, and other such bad feelings after dissipating a tulpa. It’s okay: you’re human. Breaking off any relationship, especially one like the tulpa/host relationship, is hard.

There are alternatives to dissipation:
  • “Evil” tulpas and representations of negative traits (For example, a tulpa who personifies your anxiety/depression/self-hatred) can be redeemed.
  • Tulpas based off of characters (fictives) can deviate from their origins. They don’t have to act like their character acts.
  • You can re-devote yourself to forcing your tulpa.
  • Walk-ins or similar thoughtforms can exist and be interacted with, without being tulpas or needing you to devote time to them.
  • They can be “put into stasis.” In other words, they will go inactive, but you both understand that they may be brought back someday. It is considered less permanent than dissipation. 
Take a moment to imagine yourself after your tulpa has dissipated. Mentally walk through your day. If you have only been spending a small amount of time (say, forcing them in the evenings) with your tulpa, then probably not much is different. If you talk with your tulpa constantly or they support you in some fashion, this adjustment may be harder for you. For some hosts, their relationship with their tulpa is a major source of social interaction. Prepare yourself for the loss of this.

Some signs that you do not want to dissipate your tulpa:
  • You have been going back and forth, deciding that you will dissipate your tulpa, and then deciding against it.
  • You wish you had more reason to dissipate your tulpa: that they would act out in some big way, or do something terrible.
  • You believe that you could still save your relationship with your tulpa.
  • You hope that your tulpa will fight you, or hope that you will be unable to dissipate your tulpa.
  • You have been stalling or delaying your decision/actually dissipating your tulpa. 
Acceptance means you understand fully how your life will be when you no longer have your tulpa, and you are willing to make that situation reality. It also means, you will need to explain what you are doing to your tulpa. Even if you doubt they understand, it will help you move forward. This will be expanded on soon.

Humane: 
One of the most painful parts of the dissipation process, besides the moment of saying goodbye, is when a “dissipated” tulpa pops up. They say something to you, or you feel their emotions. This may never happen to you, especially if your tulpa is very young. It is more likely to happen if you talk with your tulpa constantly throughout the day, and they talk fluently with you. It is okay. 

In short, ignore these responses. Imagine they are like text messages from your ex. Don’t respond. The relationship is over. Do not yell, be violent, or lash out against these stray responses. Like any relationship, in order to truly end, there needs to be no contact. If you respond to your dissipated tulpa, it will keep them from fading away.

If you must respond, be brief. Don’t engage them, just say something along the lines of, “Please go back to sleep.” Be compassionate and firm, not angry or callous: You will no longer be supplying them with attention, and that’s that. If you are violent and angry toward your dissipated tulpa, that is still giving them attention. 

Dragging out your relationship by fighting your tulpa until they completely dissipate is not humane and is a sure way to increase the guilt and shame you may feel afterward.

You may get some level of comfort from these stray responses. Or, you may want them to go away as quickly as possible. They may make you feel regret or shame. And again, you may not experience any stray responses. It will just depend. 

NOTE:
The rest of this section is composed of many scripts and suggestions for how your dissipation process may happen. Please, adapt this method as needed for your situation. If you don’t like the wording, or the message, or anything else, you are absolutely not obligated to follow my advice and suggestions. Again, adapt everything as you see fit.


The First Step
You will explain to your tulpa what dissipation means, why are you dissipating them, and how the process will happen, even if you doubt they understand.

Meet with your tulpa. Explain to them, you are no longer going to interact with/force them. Tell them your reasons for dissipating them. Refrain from yelling or getting angry, even if they’ve harmed you or others. They will no longer be a presence in your brain. Say these things, even if your tulpa is not sentient or vocal. 

An example script: 
Quote:“I haven’t found the time to force you in three weeks. I realize now that I’m not dedicated enough to you to have you in my life. I’ve decided that I’m going to stop forcing you. You’re going to stop being here with me.” 

Another example: 
Quote:“I realize now that it was a mistake for me to create you as someone who only insults me and is aggressive toward me. I know you’re not happy here, and so I’ve decided that you no longer need to be here. We’re not going to talk anymore.” 

The Second Step
You will formally say goodbye.

I recommend this event happens in a quiet place, where you are absolutely sure you will not be disturbed. You should be in a calm mental state. If there’s anything important you need to do, or you’re under a time constraint, wait until that’s resolved, then come back. 

Tell your tulpa goodbye: this is it, this is the last time you will be with each other. Depending on your relationship, you may want to hug or kiss. Again, don’t be violent. Whatever your final words are, they should be compassionate and something you can remember without feeling guilty for saying them. 

You may benefit from symbolism at this step. You could:
  • Imagine your tulpa is boarding a train/bus/etc, and watch the vehicle drive off.
  • Imagine your tulpa floating or fading away, in a peaceful way, like a spirit or ghost disappearing.
  • Imagine your tulpa’s “soul” or “presence” disappearing into the air like smoke.
You will likely find this event itself is less dramatic and stressful than you imagined it to be. In all likelihood, it will only take a few minutes, compared to the hours you may have spent considering the decision to dissipate your tulpa. 

The Third Step
You will cease all interaction with your tulpa. If your tulpa is not sentient, this will likely be it: they will dissipate.

Stop forcing your tulpa, stop talking to your tulpa, stop expecting to see them or hear them or sense them in any fashion. At this point, you may feel regret, shame, guilt, upset, or even numb. Take care of yourself. Try not to dwell on the dissipation right now: distract yourself, and preferably, do something social. You have lost someone you had a relationship with. 

The Fourth Step
If your tulpa responds without your attention, you will need to retrain your brain to not have these responses, and you will need to learn to not provide any interaction. Eventually, your tulpa will completely dissipate.

If your tulpa continues to send out stray responses after your formal goodbye, it’s okay. As stated above, do not lash out against these responses. 

For example:
Quote:A host has dissipated her nonvocal tulpa two days prior. While walking to class, she suddenly feels a sense of sadness in the left side of her brain, where she always felt her tulpa’s emotions. She is upset by the feeling, but remains collected and thinks, “It’s okay, it’s just a stray response.” She doesn’t dwell on it any further.

Another example:
Quote:Two weeks after dissipating a vocal tulpa, a host taking a stressful math test hears his tulpa say, “It’s okay.” He is startled and slightly comforted by the sound of his tulpa, but ignores the response. He doesn’t hear anything else for the entire day.

The Final Step
You will adjust to life without your tulpa.

The less involved your tulpa was in your life, the easier this is likely to be. The more involved, the harder it is likely to be. Either way, it’s okay, and anything you feel in response to having dissipated a tulpa is valid. You may feel loss. You may feel angry. You might even feel relieved, being free from the relationship.

You do not need
  • To swear off tulpas/plurality forever
  • To decide that tulpas are all fake/made by crazy people or
  • To decide that your tulpa was fake/you made it all up
If your tulpa was providing something for you (for example, if they helped you with anxiety, or they were your main source of social interaction), make sure you can appropriately cope with the lack of that support. And finally, if you are feeling suicidal or like you are going to harm yourself, seek help.

Resources:
US Suicide Helpline: 1800-273-8255
UK Suicide Helpline: 0845-790-9090
Other countries: http://ibpf.org/resource/list-internatio...e-hotlines
For the Crisis Text Line, text HOME to 741741 (US) or 686868 (Canada).
Suicide chatboxes: http://www.suicidestop.com/suicide_preve...nline.html

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
-Winnie the Pooh

Edit: "A host in this situation may also already have a tulpa or tulpas." changed to "A host in this situation may also already have another tulpa or tulpas." for clarity.
Edit: BetterHelp link replaced.
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#2
read over most of the guide but did skip around, it seems really good - most important part of "dissipation" or not is to no longer think of your tulpa, whether or not they dissipate because of it, and I think you covered that

we've never been much for policing other people's minds.. lots of people who try to make tulpas/thoughtforms run into issues they aren't mentally equipped to handle, and just because we are (more experienced? more mature? maaaybe more "moral"...) doesn't mean that everyone in every situation is. if someone wants to get rid of their thoughtform, it's fine to ask them why and if that's what they really want (or if there's maybe a better solution they just don't see), but in the end I don't think it should be taboo to the point of not being discussed/allowed

not a religion..
Hi I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.
All of my posts should be read at a hundred miles per hour because that's probably how they were written
Please talk to me https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas
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#3
I'm actually really glad a guide like this exists. Upon seeing this some may think "Dissipation is bad, so you shouldn't be providing advice on how to do it." But as you explained, while it isn't preferable, dissipation is necessary in some cases. Sometimes, all other possibilities have been exhausted, and dissipation remains the only viable option. It sucks that it has to be done even sometimes, but it is what we'd call a "necessary evil."

And in those cases where dissipation is the only option, it is important that people know how to do it properly, in a way that causes the least pain for themselves and their tulpa. Hence why I am so glad this guide exists. This guide covers things that many wouldn't think to do if they faced the task of dissipation all by themselves with no pointers. I have heard of not just a few, but MANY cases where the host did not say goodbye to their tulpa, did not explain dissipation, or utilized symbolic "killing" in the form of violent visualizations. This is what happens when the topic of dissipation is avoided or demonized to the extent that people are discouraged from even providing ethical advice on how to do it. Thank you for writing this guide, it's the first of it's kind that I know of.
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#4
The smaller headers seems odd, it would probably be better if they were normal size or bigger, not small.

To me, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to bring up questions regarding dissipation, only to say that you're not going to answer them. That seems counter-intuitive and a little distracting to me. Perhaps remove the example questions and just say that any questions regarding dissipation not addressed in this guide should be asked on the forums or such. 

Quote: The tulpa might be some form of personification/representation of a bad trait or even a fictive of some “evil” character. Violence or other negative/unethical/hurtful acts may be involved, and the host may fear for their sanity.
I don't think it's wise to suggest this as even being a possibility. Saying that the situation may be negative to the host's/system's mental well-being is probably good enough. Some people are highly suggestible, and saying that a tulpa can be flat-out malignant might influence them into making that happen to them.

Quote:Most tulpas are dependent, in some aspect, on their hosts. Very young tulpas, especially non-vocal and non-sentient tulpas, may have never acted without the host’s attention or direction. Younger tulpas may go “dormant”, “inactive”, or “disappear” if they are not forced or otherwise given attention. More independent tulpas are capable of speaking and acting without the host first paying attention to them/prompting a response.
I do not think this is accurate, and it isn't very pertinent to the guide itself.

Quote:spontaneously
Nothing is "spontaneous," there has to be a trigger for things, even if small.

Quote:I was deeply entrenched in my host’s life. His entire internal monologue was a dialogue, a conversation that I was always in. Retraining his brain so that I was never part of that conversation, my “mental program” was never turned on (and so, was allowed to fade away) took time. It took around two weeks for 90% of me to dissipate. The next 9.99% faded away over a course of three months.
I'd stray away form personal anecdotes in a formal guide.

Quote:So long as that 0.01% of the tulpa
I'd also stray away from using numbers like this.

Quote:If you never want them back, they will never come back.
It may be worth adding "and if they do, they can be put back into dormancy." Or, add that as long as you don't think about the tulpa anymore, they won't come back. Not wanting them to come back doesn't necessarily mean that they won't if you keep ruminating on them.

Quote:So long as you are committed that you won’t, then it won’t happen.
I get what you're trying to accomplish here, but I don't know if using such strong language really helps. It most likely won't happen, but it might, especially if the host ruminates on the memory of the tulpa. Desire isn't a required component in the creation or revival of tulpas, I think that's common knowledge.

Quote:In addition to having dissipated myself at the urging of my host, I have also dissipated two thoughtforms. One was vocal and sentient, though markedly less than myself. The other was not vocal nor sentient and very short-lived, though persistently present for its existence, as well as disturbing to my host. A lot of what I did was wrong. I have dissipated tulpas carelessly, violently, and cruelly. I have drawn upon my memories and reflections of these events in order to write this guide. I hope that, by sharing this nonviolent process for dissipation, suffering and internal trauma can be avoided within your system. I hope that you can benefit from what I have learned.
Again, personal anecdotes should be avoided. They don't really add to the guide, if anything they distract.

Quote:“Evil” tulpas and representations of negative traits (For example, a tulpa who personifies your anxiety/depression/self-hatred) can be redeemed. 
I've never really heard of tulpas personifying negative traits, only intrusive thoughts. This should maybe be reworded to a more general "Tulpas with negative or malicious characteristics can grow past them."

Quote:Walk-ins or similar thoughtforms can exist and be interacted with, without being tulpas or needing you to devote time to them.
If it's just a walk-in, it's probably not sentient. If it's a thoughtform that's sentient and is basically a tulpa, it's a tulpa, even if you don't give it equal time. This could probably be removed and replaced with something like "Your system can find the correct dynamic in which sentient thoughtforms can exist when they want to without being given abundant time."

Quote:They can be “put into stasis.” In other words, they will go inactive, but you both understand that they may be brought back someday. It is considered less permanent than dissipation.
Personally I'd say that being put into stasis is the same thing as being dissipated. If the only difference is that dissipation is supposed to be permanent, that's not really warranting a separate term for it. "Dissipation" is really just (seemingly) permanent stasis. This isn't really a critique and more just my take on it.

Quote:fading away
I don't think this is the best language to use, that the tulpa will "fade away." Rather, their level of activity will fade.

Quote:“I realize now that it was a mistake for me to create you as someone who only insults me and is aggressive toward me. I know you’re not happy here, and so I’ve decided that you no longer need to be here. We’re not going to talk anymore.”
As mentioned before, I don't think it's wise to suggest this sort of thing. You frame it that it was the host who created them that way, as well, which is also troublesome. If it's just personality forcing, then they can easily change/deviate and get better. Dissipation should be a last resort, helping the tulpa to improve should always be #1 when it comes to something like this. Life can have turmoil without necessitating drastic decisions. It's all a learning/growing process.

We've been very hesitant/iffy about this guide, it kinda goes against our personal principles, although I understand its purpose. However, ignoring that, the way things are portrayed, some of the wording, and the use of personal anecdotes take away from the guide's quality, especially the portrayal of tulpas as being manifestations of negative traits and things like that. I can't approve this unless changes are made so the guide is a little more tactful and accurate, and less-relevant information is removed.
I'm Piano Soul, the "Star Man" of the Felight family. I'm a tulpa formed January 2017. My systemmates are Apollo, Luxio, & Indigo. Form images: 1 2
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#5
If the first two reasons exists, like under developed and host has given up, wouldn't just cessation of practicing protocols result in tulpa dissipation, or permanent silence?
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#6
@Solar It probably would, but think of having an online friend, and then just cold-turky never contacting them again, and they don't reach out to you, either. Without closure, such as formally dissipating a tulpa instead of "forgeting about them", the former hosts may feel guilty about a lack of resolution. -G
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