There aren't many guides on the forums about making the initial connection with your tulpa. This can be a time of great stress for many, and it seems odd to me that there aren't more guides out there.
I'm really bad at forcing. Both with keeping a schedule, and with staying focused. So I went about 3 months without much serious progress with communication. Then I thought of this, and told Eris to try it.
It worked literally overnight.
It works this way: I never think of myself by name. Ever. It doesnt happen. But I usually address Eris by name when I talk to her. I'll think "Hey Eris, blablabla" or "Eris, look at th-blabla."
I told her, quite simply, to address me by name when trying to tell me something. I have a pretty serious case of ADD, so I constantly have a barrage of thoughts running through my head. It wouldn't be difficult for her thoughts to simply get lost or drowned out in the mix.
But if she tags a thought with my name, it would stick out to me.
The very next day, I was derping around in Art class, starting a new bit of work without enough time left in class to really get far on it.
Somewhere in the whirlwind of my mind, something thought, "Noah, we don't have time to start this now." It was most definetely her.
This is my method for helping start initial communication. After she said that, I sort of 'traced' where the thought came from, and currently we are working on strengthening the whole system.
I hope this helps anyone who has the same problem I did.