Did I do it?

[ProfPhoenix]

So I have been working for over 50 hours, but I am curious, am I parroting? So I am not explicitly controlling her, but it also kinda feels like its coming from me. I asked and I got no response. I figured I'd ask, any advice?

Also sometimes I just get silence when I ask, other times I'll get something back, as if I (or she) don't know how to respond for lack of knowledge

[Vos]

How many hours you've put into this isn't all that important. You could be getting responses after only a few hours of work, so it's a case-by-case basis. If you feel like it is coming from you, I'd say that it probably isn't, especially if you're not getting responses when you try to ask your tulpa about it. To be on the safe side, try asking the question a few more times this week and see if you get any responses.

[Santiago]

You should try the "surprise me" test, where you tell your tulpa to surprise you at a random time during the day with anything that shows you their sentience. I used to do that when I began forcing and it worked out very well for me to get over that barrier of doubt.

[Nageki]

Arro: It appears to be a common thing among hosts to not be able to differentiate between their thoughts and their young tulpas' thoughts, at least in the beginning. Trust me when I say it's frustrating for the tulpa as well as the host; you're not alone in your suffering.

 

That being said, communication is tough for young tulpas. It takes time and patience to get through to the host (it certainly did for me), and when the two of you haven't established a reliable means of communication there'll be times when your tulpa won't be able to get through at all. Other times she just might not have anything to say. Our advice to you is to keep talking to your tulpa and try not to sweat the parroting thing too much. Keep practicing. Your tulpa's actions will become more distinct with time.

[Lacquer]

Don't count your hours. Positive or negative, just throw out the whole concept of counting your hours. All it does is foster this sort of quantitative comparison between you and others (and hour counts listed in FAQ_man's guide), which is antithetical to how personal of a process making a tulpa is.

[Guest Anonymous]

You should try the "surprise me" test, where you tell your tulpa to surprise you at a random time during the day with anything that shows you their sentience. I used to do that when I began forcing and it worked out very well for me to get over that barrier of doubt.

 

I remember when I did this with Rina.

I told her to surprise me, and nothing happened.

Then I went to sleep, and not only did I remember what I dreamed about (which didn't happen in years), but it was also first-person (which actually never happened before, I think) - and it was the weirdest sh*t she could've come up with. xD

 

And the next day I asked her if that was her doing, and she just dryly replied with something roughly like: "You told me to surprise you. So I did."

 

... :D

 

 

Greets,

AG & Rina

[NoneFromHell]

Beside what the other guys already told you, it is very common that the early responses of your tulpa feel like their coming from you, even though you're not actively parroting. It is like your tulpa makes your brain think it up before you hear a voice, that's why you will end up with the feeling that you know what your tulpa is going to say a splitsecond before it says anything. The mind of your tulpa is just very close to your own mind in this state, and later on this feeling will fade more and more. The surprising test isn't that great, but a good starting point. If you expect to be surprised you can't tell for sure, unless your tulpa let some time pass.

 

I remember asking my tulpa to try everything she could to move her body, or say something and stuff like this in an early development state. She didn't do anything, but I was woken up the next morning by her clapping once really loud above me.

[Evil]

Well, you might as well try to understand the following point of view. It is not something you need to follow to the letter, but it might help you out with understanding your situation.

 

The majority, if not totality of members, advise not counting hours. But let's throw a look at those hours of yours, shall we? 50 hours, in the case you forced 3 hours per day (which is a mere estimation) means that you'd have forced for approximately 17 days. If you want to do a good estimation of whether it actually 'is' you or not (as I am not ready to give you the average reply that 'nah dont worry bro its all good' even though it really is 'all good', but I believe hours don't mean much), you could do a self-evaluation. Sit down for a moment, get a cup of coffee, and try to remember. Remember all the things you did during those 17 days (take one hour off since we want to be specific).

 

Try to note them down. My guess is that, after doing so, you as a layer of consciousness, and other parts of your minds, would come to understand that YES, you did force in an 'enough' quantity. The reality, though, is that there is no 'enough' or even 'too much'. One of the most important things is feeling comfortable and satisfied with your schedule. Not for your own peace of mind, but for the reassurance on all levels of your brain that you have done this and that. This is NOT a means to see if you need more forcing, if you need to invest X more hours, because I also believe that an hour count is merely a detriment to your path to, well... achieving the purpose you have in mind. In a way, trying to note down how many hours you spent forcing can be a detriment, but reminding yourself of all the things you did for your tulpa and whatnot can help you out in moments of doubt, as a way of reaffirmation more than anything.

 

In all reality, nobody can tell you the truth. Most people tend to approach the more positive outlook, and it is also one I adhere to usually. That it is not you. That this fear of parroting is merely paranoia, nothing more than that. Which it is. But having in mind the balance between 'This is me' and 'This is not me' would be something ideal to keep doubts at bay, and away from your spectrum of awareness as a whole.