My tulpa Alice

[Checster]

Hello ! Before i start i just want to say some things about me. First of all, i am really skeptical about this whole thing. I do believe that the phenomenon of hearing another voice in your head exists and that you can train your brain to hear one. What i find very hard believing, is that your tulpa can take your place, or that you can hallucinate your tulpa IRL (imposition is what it is called). If i can get to the point where my tulpa can speak on its own, it’s enough for me. I am 20 years of age, and i feel that what I’m doing is complete madness and a little awkward. I feel a little ashamed to be honest, but I’m bored out of my mind and i find the idea of having a tulpa very interesting. Let’s start !

 

My tulpa’s name is Al, short for Alice. She has the form of a tall woman resembling lady Maria in Bloodborne. And...that’s it. I decided to skip the personality step. 

Btw, i feel like i should mention that a year ago, when i was 19, i tried making a similar tulpa with the same form, but i gave up after 4 weeks. I decided to try again by giving my tulpa a different name. I don’t know wether i should treat her as a new person, or the one from a year ago. But I’ll try not to think too much about it. 

 

24/05/2020

Today after sports, i decided to lie down on the floor, close my eyes, and speak to Al. I spoke to her a little, and i got an idea. I told her that i would ask her a couple questions, and that she could answer yes or no by giving me a tickling feeling on the left (no) or right (yes) foot. I asked her if she liked cats, and surprisingly i felt tingling in my left foot (no). I thought it was just a placebo, or wishful thinking,  but i just went with it. I asked her if she liked dogs, and i felt it in my right foot. I asked her if she liked chocolate, again, in my right foot, and so on. It was an interesting experience. 

[Checster]

25/05/2020

I decided to keep asking questions to her, using the tingles in my right or left foot. It appeared to work this morning. However, i discovered the limitations of doing this tonight. I read somewhere that it helps if you choose a voice for your tulpa, and listen to it over and over again, to encourage your tulpa to speak. I showed her multiple voices from video games, and i told her to tickle me in my right (yes) if she liked it, or left (no) if she didn’t. Unfortunately i felt tingles in both feet at the same time, so i didn’t know wether it was a yes or no for her. I told her to give me head pressure for yes, nothing for no, but i didn’t feel anything. Maybe she liked none of the voices, or maybe she just can’t give head pressure yet. 

 

I decided to chill with her in the wonderland, and she seemed upset with me at first (as always, i didn’t know wether i was controlling her or not, but for the sake of progress, i just went with it). This kinda confirms my doubts of her being Ciris (my first tulpa). I then took her on a train ride, and she seemed to cheer up. We went inside some sort of dark tower that could be seen from afar. It was fun. 

 

Tomorrow I’ll keep doing the same thing, asking her questions and talking with her during the day, and doing stuff in the wonderland later at night. By the way, before i go, i just want to say that i feel absolutely insane typing about this. But I’ll keep going anyway, because weird or not, it’s fun :)) 

[R8-Adelia_Wildhome]

That sounds like great progress. 

[Checster]

7 minutes ago, A&J said:

That sounds like great progress. 

Thanks ! I appreciate it.

[Checster]

26/05/2020

Today has been interesting. First of all, i discovered that the tingling in my feet wasn't an accurate way at all for my tulpa to communicate with me, since i sometimes felt tingles in both feet. So i decided to ditch this method.

The most important thing, is what happened in our wonderland (i don't like that word, so i'll refer to it as Yarnham).

So i'm with Alice in Yarnham, and i see stairs made of gray stone, leading up to a forest. We walk up the stairs and we enter the forest. At some point we pass next to a cemetary (something i didn't place there voluntarily). What is extremely interesting when i visualize Yarnham, is that sometimes i see new locations that i never intended to place there. It's as if my mind is spawning new locations like in a video game, without my control.

I genuinely ask Alice: "Why is there a cemetary here ?"

No response. But when i asked her if she wanted me to dig into the tombs to see who was underneath, she shaked her head (again, not sure if it was me or her). I decided that body language was a good way to communicate.

So we continued walking until we reached a very small church. Once inside, we saw the cross in front of us, with wooden benches, and suddenly i got an idea.
I told Alice that tonight, i would perform a WILD (wake induced lucid dream) and follow the same path leading to this church. I told her that she should wait for me in the church when i fall asleep, so that when i open the door of the church in my dream, she will be there, and we'll be able to talk about anything. So that's what i'll be attempting tonight. I'll tell you all about it in tomorrow's update.

Wish me luck !

Edited May 26, 2020 by Checster

[R8-Adelia_Wildhome]

I would like to head about your experience. 
It sounds like you are making great progress.

[Checster]

45 minutes ago, A&J said:

I would like to head about your experience. 
It sounds like you are making great progress.

I visualize things very well and in great detail if i'm focused. I think that helps a lot. Thank you for following this thread :)))

Edited May 27, 2020 by Checster

[R8-Adelia_Wildhome]

4 hours ago, Checster said:

5 hours ago, A&J said:

 

I visualize things very well and in great detail if i'm focused. I think that helps a lot. Thank you for following this thread :)))

I struggle with visualization, so I am working on it lots. 

And your welcome!! 😃 

[Checster]

27/05/2020

Yesterday night i failed miserably in my WILD attempt. I tried again during an afternoon nap today. My visualization was quite vivid (but it was certainly not a dream). I was sitting on a small chair next to the church. I told Alice to wait for me inside the church until i transitioned into a dream state. I remember that at some point the wind blew very hard. I saw in great detail the leeves, going in the same direction as the wind. My memory of this is very vivid. 

 

However, this was just visualization, certainly not a dream. I'll still attempt WILD tonight, and every other night until i get it. 

 

Other than that, i think Alice got the hang of saying yes or no with her head without my control, so i'll stick to this until she gets vocal. I tried telling her to use colors, green for yes, red for no, but like the tingling in my feet, it got out of control and it wasn't accurate. 

[R8-Adelia_Wildhome]

I am sorry it didn't go as you hoped. You will get it soon I am sure! 

 

Body movement is how Jupiter and I have been communicating along with like instinct. You know how you can get a "gut feeling" it is like that but in my heart. I kind of feel how she feels, but in a second-hand kind of way.