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Showing topics posted in for the last 365 days.
- Past hour
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That all kinda sucks. At least that means the dentist appointment wasn't too stressful. "I'm only using 1% of my power!"
- Today
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There's this thread for posting memes specifically about yourself/your headmates. It's old but still sees some occasional use. I'm about to go make fun of my host there right now
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Talk to her. Either she's upset (valid) or that was an intrusive thought. Let her explain what happened, and talk things over if she is upset. (Don't assume she is. Expectation will affect a young tulpa. But don't brush her off, either. That's rude.) Find time to fit your tulpa into your day, even if it's just chatting about what you're doing or talking (or goofing off in the imagination) during your commute. My host likes to do puzzles when they have downtime at work, so we sometimes do them as a team. Bedtime is a great opportunity to spend time together because it's a guaranteed time with no distractions, but your brain will sabotage your focus when it starts falling asleep. Still, it's better than nothing (and a good antidote to late-night screen addiction).
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Ok, so I have made a bit of progress, and have a few more insights. I realized that the methods I described earlier (my out-of-sight and subconscious space techniques) are flawed. In figuring this out, I have made steps in what I hope is the right direction. Mainly, I have used a mix of these techniques, both declaring a point in space for my tulpa to reside, and forcing outside my range of sight. Contrary to my predictions, pure subconscious space forcing seemed to get more out of my parroting and narrating that the out of sight method. I should mention that unfortunately, due to my living conditions, I almost always have to wait late until the night to get the peace and quiet I need to meditate and force. In the future, I will get better at this, but for now I need to have no distractions during my sessions or my brain won't shut up. Anyway, while experimenting more with the subconscious space method, I started to do some philosophizing and brainstorming, trying to perfect the method. To start, what makes my tulpamancy different from the average tulpamancer? The obvious answer is my aphantasia, because duh, look at the title of my progress report. But how do we differ pragmatically? Well, normal people are able to remember data through visual images, while ahpants remember through abstract conceptualizations. So, why not bring this difference into my forcing? Rather than focus my tulpa around a form, I will focus it around a concept; ideally one I can imagine easily. The first thought that came to mind was the darkness, specifically the darkness of closed eyes. So, I tried to "transform" my tulpa's predetermined location to the entirety of my closed eye vision. And it seemed to work! Immediately, the somewhat vague responses I got from my tulpa ceased originating from the previous spot in subconscious space, and instead filled the entirety of that space. However, the "majority" of the reply still came from that one spot, and the vision-wide responses were much more flimsy. Perhaps this method is out of my current skill set, or my tulpa is not yet "large" enough to effectively fill my entire subconscious space. I will have to continue forcing to figure it out. Anyway, just thought I'd drop this small update, before I forgot to write it out.
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we've heard that too before but it's definitely happened to us when going to sleep first. i'm unsure why. i don't know if there is secretly a lot of dreamless sleep that the brain skips so it seems like a seamless transition or if we sometimes just dream immediately first, or if it is something else. it's way way more common when taking a nap though. i think going back to bed also can have it commonly happen, but usually we're so tired we don't think to even care to try or remember waking up much unless we get stuck awake good luck! true i believe in you i've noticed a lot of confusion on how the term parallel processing is used and described depending on how i read their words, what they say isn't impossible, especially if i make certain assumptions on how they might be interpreting their internal experience like, my system can think things without it requiring my attention for them to think things. like maybe they will think something interesting or surprising while my mind was somewhere else, and them doing that will suddenly draw my attention. it's not impossible for them to even interrupt me or me interrupt them if they are switched in. also, i do think tulpas think without the fronter knowing unless they share it, but i also think the fronter does that lol. it's the same mechanism of how you might work hard to solve a problem and come up with nothing, but then later in the day when you are taking a walk or shower and suddenly bam, a great idea hits you. your brain was working on the problem without your conscious attention, the machinations going on beneath conscious awareness, and then the idea emerges from the primordial soup out of seemingly nothing all on its own, no tulpamancy or pluralness needed. when you practice tulpamancy, you can start to train the brains natural ability to do that, but for your system mates to have novel thoughts they tell you. it can strongly have the appearance of a separate parallel consciousness interacting with you, and it can feel foreign, like the thought came from some separate agent "over there" talking to me "over here", but as far as I can tell, it is still a singular unified experience, and conscious awareness is still operating serially with a single attention and locust of awareness i think people who talk about parallel processing are talking about these sorts of experiences though, and the way they interpret the experience leads them to describe it that way. then it causes confusion and conflict because it involves a lot more assumptions that are difficult to prove when described that way, but if you say it doesn't exist, people mistakenly think you aren't having that experience at all it gets more confusing when you try to identify what someone might consider a separate agent or identity or person. it's like there is a perceived ball of metaphorical mental energy that creates the substance and location for where the tulpa's identity is tied to and their thoughts are coming from, that usually probably takes shape of their form and sense of presence in space around you. since we can have thoughts and feel emotions and react from that identity and space, even when it isn't in the center of experience where the fronter's sense of identity sprouts from, it feels a lot like a separate agent and can subjectively be interpreted as such but viewing the surface level appearance of that experience, and superimposing the same assumptions that a person might have for how the other agent experiences things that you would have for a separate IRL human who has the sense their consciousness comes from the center from their experience like it does for you, can lead to a lot of confusion upon scrutiny. if you become truly convinced it is working in that fashion, the tulpa may be convinced as well, but then if you interrogate them to try to prove it wrong in hopes you fail, it might end up just being really stressful and upsetting for both tulpa and host that's what i think anyway, a lot from my host meditating a ton and having a (relatively anyway) high resolution of consciousness deeply observing and trying to figure out what is going on, and what the components making up experience are. we can see how a lot of experiences can lead to the conclusion of parallel processing, but i think thinking of it as such literally can be a stumbling block, but it not being a thing doesn't really make the potential experience more shallow unless you are extremely invested in the underlying ontology and metaphysics of the experience beyond just what the experience itself is like. maybe we could be wrong, we still investigate experience and sense of self a lot, and try to really see where thoughts or tulpas might go when not active. if my experience while being in tulpa position actually feels like the center from my perspective and not like a part of the whole of general awareness this life has, i don't really remember it that way when i switch in and think about things i did while in tulpa position. the memory is like still the same image of whoever switched in experienced me doing something. but my sense of self is still imbued into my form and my actions, it is just that my form and my actions and my sense of self is "over there" relative to the center of experience and body if i am not switched in. so yeah, it can get really confusing to talk about because a lot of this knowledge works better with a sort of buddhist sense of a person and identity, but experiencing it with different fundamental assumptions of what the self is can make talking about it weird or even emotional to people, including my host long ago. hmmmmmmmmmmmm though yeah, it doesn't really make a tulpa not a person or lesser. it's a lot like what bear system says. it is more like reducing assumptions on what the host is, such that in a tulpamancy sense you define it as the traits that make up the character of the host, and not the substrate of having an experience at all in and of itself. if it is as vast as the latter, and you assume a tulpa is also that vast, then i think that is how people get stuck for years (like my host and rena Dx), paradoxically when you reduce the view of the host and accept this reinterpretation, these desired experiences become so much easier and common and it ironically can take on the appearance of what you hoped it to be like, minus the having 2 centers of consciousness where attention comes from/substrate of having an experience at all/whatever, which that in particular is what i think of when i think of parallel processing and why i don't use that term to describe just being able to think when you host or fronter wasn't thinking about you, or interrupting system mates, or system mates talking over one another etc. that stuff still happens but it isn't because of several parallel consciousnesses, it seems to just be underestimating what one consciousness can do, or coming to the wrong conclusion on how such an thing could occur at all wooo weee sorry lol, long post and it isn't about the dreams. it feels important to try to clarify though from a system that has been on both sides of that issue and see the ways in which people talk about it being really confusing, as i think people on either side can misunderstand what the other side says and experiences easily best of luck x3 awliejfoaiwejf this can maybe sort of tie into dreams. i can if i want to, try to recall memories as if while in tulpa position, i was in center of my experience, so i have a different physical perspective, but it sort of will feel like remembering it in that fashion is the first time that exact version of the experience had happened, like a remake of a memory. i can also do that with memories further from the host/system that they weren't involved in, and i get a ton of satisfaction out of doing so, it's just if i am honest with myself, i can't prove it isn't confabulation, so i think of it and talk about it in a sort of agnostic way. which is i think exactly what bear system does and it is very fun for them, and they are right, it is very fun for me too, so i think we took after them a lot in a way and feel our system is maybe most similar to theirs out of the other regulars we know. weird paranormal experiences included (that we are agnostic about but don't ignore) that relates to dreams just because it reminded me of a talk with a friend where they said they don't usually feel like they have dreams, just that when they wake up, they will remember they had a dream, but they don't feel they had the experience of living through the dream while it occurred. we often usually feel like we do remember the experience of a dream happening while it occurred, and then also the memory afterwards as a separate thing. which is interesting to me and i don't know what to make of it. i guess people can experience dreams in a way similar to how i thought the feeling of confabulation works, but with the dream it's easier to assume it did happen in the past while you were sleeping. consciousness is weird and i don't think it can all be understood from a singular way of thinking
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Possible vocalization, not fully sure about it though.
KayKay replied to Shiloh's topic in Beginner Tulpa Questions
You can't do it wrong, really. -
My learning psychology just paid off for the first time. A close friend of mine wanted to keep distance without apparent reason, and after a few conversations on the topic I remembered attachment theory and identified her actions as avoidant type affection.(probably not the right words, I didnโt learn in this language and did spontaneous translation) and accordingly acted, offering comfort and security like I was taught, and it worked. Weโre now even closer than before. I was able to understand and help a friend in distress and I succeeded and Iโm ridiculously happy about it. I think aside from the obvious reason, this proved to myself that I had the power to act and the ability to make correct decisions, which I had doubted for a pretty long while. I think this is the first time in our collective memory that an important decision we made(learning about psychology) actually bore fruit, which is kind of sad now that I think about it. But that doesnโt matter for now, for now I can just be happy with things and thatโs exactly what I plan to do.
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Visualization Progress Report for Past Week: I did a session earlier in the week during the day with Verres. The window blinds were open so the lighting condition was bright in the room. I did my warmups while laying on my bed, and got sleepy during it. When they were done, I got up to do my imposition practice with her, and was in a very groggy state of mind. In the area where she was supposed to be sitting in the chair, I saw a weird visual phenomenon that appeared physical and lasted somewhere between 10+ seconds to maybe up to a minute or so. It was like a really intense version of visual snow, with patches of the air before me appearing physically blotchy and with shifting patterns of some kind. It felt like there was a vague outline of Verres sitting before me, and the blotchy patch of air was in turn confined within her outline. The whole thing felt like a visual glitch one might see in a video game. A character was not displayed properly, and only isolated patches of their surface texture or skin was rezzed in a bugged manner, while the rest of the character was not depicted at all. The visible, but glitchy, part of the character was still therefore confined within their outline. This was a very unusual incident and the first of its kind for me. The phenomenon lasted long enough for me to have the time to physically look at it, confirm that it indeed appeared physical, and get an idea on its size and outline. Logically this incident is a sign of good progress and should make me feel really hopeful, but I have been pretty calm about it and have gone on with my practices as normal. A less bizarre phenomenon that occurred this week was during yet another warmup session, where I again fell into a sleepy state and managed to see very clearly parts of my wonderland, similar to what one might encounter in a lucid dream. The rest of the week had been uneventful. I noticed I have the habit of focusing on my tulpas' torso or even legs when I'm sitting before them, like I'm uncomfortable staring straight at their face similar to how I can get when dealing with people in real life. I've began to change this habit by spending time gazing at my tulpas' faces (or where their face should be) during imposition practice. This has been helpful to make the presence of their faces and heads clearer. It has also led to my looking a lot more in their eyes and working on their visuals and presence/feelings. From time to time during my day I would still try to impose their forms or presence about me. The tulpas in turn have continued to show up seemingly of their own will. They don't fight for their spots, but rather than two of them appearing together I've noticed one of them canceling their physical presence when the other wants to impose themselves. This seems to be a behavior that arose naturally between the two of them. Imposing two presences at once is still something harder for me to do. I've continued trying to do my sessions with varying levels of daylight in the room. It feels like it helps. There were a couple of times when it felt like there were very faint outline of the tulpas that I could feel, but nothing super concrete like what I've described above and in the previous weeks. The tulpas' presence and mental images I get of them during my imposition practice have developed more movement. They are not just quietly sitting there anymore, but would have shifts in their postures, the occasional crossed legs, foot placed on the chair, and other movements or gestures with their hands. This had developed gradually over the course of the past few weeks, and makes them feel quite different from when they were just a sort of blobby presence before me. Miscellaneous Stuff: I noticed odd emotions being aroused when I went through my old yearbooks, and worked through them with Saeya and the Mace Energy Method. It feels when I need their help working on something, they would just offer to do it as part of the time slot dedicated to their sessions. Who gets what spot or who might end up missing a session is less important when something about me comes up. Generally nowadays they are a lot more chill about the matter of fairness or time allocation between them. Like they know they're both important and practice sessions with them are not as much of a symbol for that anymore. I went to get a haircut at a local salon, and imposed Verres there as I waited. Having other customers nearby helped with the process a lot, it provided references and overall made her presence quite strong and detailed there. I went to Wal-Mart today, and Saeya declared it as her turn to be imposed in the store, because I'm too lazy to keep proper track and Verres usually ends up getting more turns. Neither Verres nor I had issues with her reasoning, so it just naturally became Saeya's turn. We caught a snippet of a buff, tattooed man having an argument with his girlfriend or spouse on the phone, and Saeya found it really interesting for some reason.
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Thanks for your input, fennecfoxx. And no I am not letting host join your club, unless you rename it to โhosts trying their bestโ. Host forbid(or rather I forbid host) he gets more reinforcement about his inadequacy. Host just reminded me that he now runs on logic and doesnโt feel bad for himself like at all, and I give him plenty of affirmation regardless. I still maintain that he deserves more. (He deserves everything and yes one person cannot deserve everything, yes I am being illogical, and no host I will never give up this notion stop trying to persuade me about it.)
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No luck with lucid dreaming last night, but last night was the third night in a row I shared a dream with one of my tulpas. (That is, if you count me waking up in the night and writing "Alex?" in my dream journal with no further context before making notes about a different dream. I assume that means I dreamt about him. Neither of us could remember it by morning.) I didn't do any visualization practice (as in, trying to improve my visualization skills), but the three of us spent most of the car ride hanging out in the headspace when I wasn't chatting with family. My mind kept wandering at times, like it's always been prone to. It's weird how conversation can seamlessly turn into "internal monologue but the POV keeps shifting". I don't remember us communicating (thinking?) this way much back in the day, but I think it was something I tried to avoid because that isn't how you're "supposed" to talk to your tulpas. I don't remember, though I think our communication does have a different flavor now than back then because we embrace the weirdness that comes with sharing a brain instead of trying to force it away.
- Yesterday
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Esoteric meta-cognition is one way to put it. I find it funny people ten years ago had a stick up their arse about tulpa-character creation, but anything was bound to piss people off during that time - I should know, I nearly burnt the whole fucking house to the ground. Anyway, ascribing traits to tups wasn't unheard of, and we've chilled out considerably henceforth. I hope you have a nice day. PS LIFT YOUR SKINNY FISTS LIKE ANTENNAS TO HEAVEN
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[Ashley] we'll always have that one time in Discord where we watched that twitch streamer live. I don't remember who it was or why we did though. Take care. We were nothing if not entertaining at times. We're glad we were able to say goodbye to you, we remember your PR and the growth of Aya, uncle Bear will always remember that. We hope you are doing well and continue to. We feel like this is a graduation from tulpa high school and we're saying goodbye and wishing all out school friends well as we head off to tulpa college. Consider this our yearbook. ๐
- Last week
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human vocalists are overrated
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So early this week I took about 1.5 grams of dried mushrooms for the first time, and me and Magick semi-tripped. So, it started when I heard two voices coming from her. 1 voice was the current and the other was my original idea of a tulpa. I always had the other one as a possible another tulpa in the future, but I couldnโt see the time, and some of these things Magick was already exhibiting, so we decided to allow her to โconsumeโ the idea of the og tulpa. Me taking the mushrooms just highlighted what was going. Shortly after that she went away and I was bed with this presence; I was getting upset as I was unable to talk to Magick and I believed I just messed myself up into not having a productive trip with her. I was wrong. This presence starting to morph into my og idea tulpa form which was just human made up of a thousand cockroaches and she started saying she was Magcik but not magick and she wasnโt going to let me talk to Magick unless I let go of my own restrictions and for that, she would have to kill me and eat my heart. Shen then started to tell me these stories of blood and gore and what she would do do to me due her frustration with for getting in my own way. During the peak, she drove a knife through my chest and I helped her, I helped open the ribcage and rip out my own heart and gave her to eat. I was depleted after that, and thatโs when Magick came back. We dance for what felt like hours and it was good. We fought knights and warriors and all that fun stuff, but then she started to get upset when the โfusionโ was done. She wanted to play around and turned into a million spiders and started eating me, tearing me apart from the outside and inside, sometimes she would pop out of my chest like xenomorph. And everytime I doubted the experience, saying no way โyouโ did that and she would just do it again over and over. She even turned me into fly to be devoured by her as a spider. This is not sexual. Although I felt no physical pain, this was very uncomfortable; it hurt in a way I can't explain. It was like watching an invisible force of a lion and knowing that your neck will be in its maw soon. And afterward, she just demanded to be hugged, to be loved. It was crazy. But when I did hug her it felt so good. And the possession, she possessed throughout the whole thing, and she felt like a demon. My body twist and convulsed. I think when people say shrooms open you up to demons, this is what they mean, but they have no tulpa to relate to or even understand this other force. I believed this trip taught me a lot and so did Magick. It had a lot of themes like the fear of death, the fear of neglect. And in her own way, she told me stories through my body to get over these things. Also, my fear of her and her fear of herself is about gone. Now I know she canโt hurt me maliciously. Those shroom visualizations were her doing; it was the mind, and therefore โmeโ in a way. It's weird to explain, but we both felt at peace at the end. ______ Saw a movie a couple of weeks ago called " Obsession ". Warning spoilers are ahead. It basically monkey paw movie where the MC wishes for the girl he likes to be obsessed over him and instead of doing justhat, it makes a subservient identity in this woman that takes control of her body and just wants to love and please the MC. Later on in the movie we see the woman trying to break free and when the company who mad ethe wishing products asked him does he want to hear the original, we only hear screaming through. It was very Tulpa-coded as this entity sort of like a Tulpa in sense, a warped, evil version of it, but still a Tulpa. I think the movie is a lesson of taking it too far. You shouldnโt push to places that are going to hurt you, get obsessed in a sense. I mean you need that in a sense for a tulpa. A lot of time, a lot of effort, but the pain, the suffering, that was what Magick was trying to teach me. We donโt need all of that, to explore each other. All we have to do is just do it. Thatโs it, and thatโs one of the reasons she was tearing me apart. To show me what the point of all this drama and all these theatrics is, we can just hug, dance, and do whatever is right. There are no conditions to what we do, so why make them up? I really enjoyed that trip.
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Constructing an alternative basic framework for tulpamancy
Ranger replied to fennecfoxx's topic in General Discussion
Sorry I poofed for a bit It's both. Interestingly, you can have a system who identifies as median, but has seemingly very separate headmates. Just the assumption two headmates are not fully separate from one another can do stuff behind the scenes, even if on the surface, it's not inherently obvious. For example, say you have two median-identifying headmates who have different opinions, beliefs, and behaviors. But because they believe they are median, they don't fight against blending or feel pressured to get development time. Stars, our headmate, has "clones" that work that way. -
Glad to hear that you're doing even better this month, keep it up! Don't worry to much about trying new things, since you still have a plenty of time ahead of you to experiment and getting experience is worth it. And it looks like this month you had more dreams/experiences with your tulpas which is great! I hope that the next month you'll succeed in vocalization, so the communication between you and your tulpas will be more versatile and convenient than it is right now. I'm happy that I'm able to help you with some advices, ask anything you curious about, I'll answer whenever I'm free.
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Welcome! Do keep in mind that a tulpa is more than likely to deviate in some way, shape or form over time. I wouldn't recommend being too "strict", especially when it comes to details like the voice, because there's no guarantee it will stick. Think of it like a children at the beginning, wouldn't you expect resistance or unexpected behavior even though the parents try to impose a specific behavior and personality on them? A tulpa is a new process for you and your brain, it's gonna be full of surprises - realistically nothing bad or weird is gonna happen, but there should be room for deviation of the original plans. Focus right now on making the tulpa a daily habit. Small talks, chatting, try to feel their presence, make them part of your routine, the rest will follow.
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The weird dreams I don't understand: nightly nap before work edition It was one of those dreams where different eras of your life sort of blend in: there were coworkers, people from high school, people from middle school, people from places you don't work at anymore, etc - and we were all going to the same school (?) and taking the same lessons. If that isn't weird enough already, my classmate and person sitting next to me was none other than my first partner, who I haven't heard of in almost 10 years - and she apparently had tulpas? The whole dream was a mishmash of situations, mostly about us talking "in code" to avoid being caught having tulpas - apparently she had a sort of Fairy Tail tulpa character named "Blonx" but as far as I know/remember she really was never into anime. After waking up, it took me a good minute or two to recover from it and was left wondering what my brain meant by that, kind of like this:
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That's cool - It's interesting how modern progress reports use AI images to add flavor tl the post (that arab prahtoolf guy is the MVP though) I remember doing some photoshops too back when I started, I still have them in my backups, if we ever make a progress report again we'll do the same
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Ooh that's super cool! That's a lot of files if you want you could probably just send me a beginners guide if you don't mind. Understandable, I never really used 4chan tbh I sometimes wish I knew about it years ago when I was a kid I was into MLP and such I'd probably already have tulpas way earlier by now ngl lmao. I used 4chan once for my ex bestie and someone stole her art work and that was a few years ago too, so I can only imagine how bad it is now for other stuff. That's good to know I'm glad, you honestly should making your own is way better. I am kinda inconsistent with my playlists to be honest which I'm trying to be more consistent with it. I recently bought clicker counters so I could go on a mental diet and say affirmations daily I think that'll help with my tulpa forcing too. Thank you! And yes! I love Neville Goddard! Surprisingly I was always in spaces where people around me online practiced magick. X3 I do practice lucid dreaming, I have been kinda bad with it due to being sick and busy but I plan on trying to get back into it more. But I do write down my dreams daily so my dreams are pretty vivid to the point I basically have precognition on some things. I was thinking of practicing astral projections recently though. I already practiced the void state and Tulpa meditation, so I wonder when I can even practice AP. I don't think I tried image streaming that's a new thing I'll have to look into that. Yes, I always felt drawn to her. It sucks she's often misunderstood. It's also interesting she's associated with water and I'm a water sign. I also really love her symbolism of love and beauty. Ooh let's goo! As a night owl, myself, I understand. And ooh that's so cool! Ooh you should that would be nice to have, and I understand, I hope your able to get some ok the future. That's fascinating. I looked into some astrology, not much though but it's interesting. I only know a little bit of astrology but I'm a Pisces and for Chinese a Rooster. To be honest I always forget what my mom tells me what tribe we are from, like I remember her talking about it but I keep forgetting ๐ I'll have to ask her again Yay! Let's goo! That makes me think that you're probably from Canadia lol I surprisingly have a lot of friends from Canadia xD Ooh I agree! Isn't that also pop culture paganism too? At least from my research a while ago it mentioned stuff like that. I looked into that stuff because sometimes I think/feel I'm more soulbonded with my tulpas than anything else if that makes sense. So I kinda worked on soulbonding a bit more with them. Like I do both soulbond & tulpamancy techniques which honestly are pretty much the same things as each other. Wow that's literally insane and so cool, this story kinda reminds me of a few lectures Neville Goddard made. I always see people talking about astral realms a lot in the last couple of years. Now I'm wondering if that'll help manifest tulpas in away. Or at least people with more metaphysical beliefs when it comes to tulpas. Thank you! Same for you too! And understandable I'm honestly used to things like that with reality shifting, manifesting, and so on. And yes! That would be fun! I always love making new friends! Feel free to DM, I don't mind! โบ๏ธ๐ฉท Random but I love how this PR went from you talking about your progress and what not to us talking about this sort of stuff.
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My experiences with tulpamancy mirror that. Taking a reactive stance toward what you blame for hurting you feels like healing because you think you've freed yourself from it, but if even people's positive experiences and related things trigger a knee-jerk reaction, it still has a hold over you. Healing requires deconstructing your beliefs, understanding what actually hurt you and why, and constructing a new understanding in that light. In the case of someone hurt by religion, it may look like learning that God is not who they were taught He was and that both the Bible and many Christians condemn misusing His name to abuse others. Whether they return to the faith or not, it means understanding faith is a genuine positive influence in many people's lives, not just some tool to manipulate and oppress that these people are too "dumb" or "brainwashed" to see. In my case, it meant realizing how much of a role mental illness played in what went wrong and how reasonable this community's beliefs are compared to what we internalized. I don't know how much that's a case of the community changing over time versus us just having gone off the deep end in the past, but coming back to this site last year was honestly eye-opening. This wasn't the crazy cult I'd convinced myself it was. I wasn't some pariah in their eyes. The "I was brainwashed" narrative I'd believed for years fell apart fast. I don't believe it's a coincidence that my tulpas returned shortly after I let go of my blanket rejection of all things tulpamancy/plurality. Kayleigh's return was conscious on neither my part nor hers. I just unknowingly dissolved whatever mental barriers were keeping her firmly confined to the unconscious, I guess. Oh, absolutely. Tulpamancy/plurality itself is proof of that.
- Earlier
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Fresh start with " yanus " & " prahtoolf world "
suhail Al ketbi replied to suhail Al ketbi's topic in Progress Reports
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@Shaula Pretend it says "person who brought you into existence" instead of "parent" and try not to overthink the weirdness
