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[Narration] Conversation Conundrum
#1
I hope this falls under Narration, If not. Sorry x.x

Me and my Tulpa, after about 4-5 days have already started communicating pretty well. However, most of the time when I ask a question I get 1 of 2 general responses. Either I get no response or she replies "I don't know." The latter being the response that happens the most. These are usually yes or no questions.

She seems to be undecisive. I was wondering is this normal at the beginning? and is there anything I can do to help my tulpa become more decisive?

She also seems to change her answers to some questions. For example one day I asked her what her favorite color was and the answer I received was red. The next day I asked her the same question and she told me it was blue. I mean now whenever I ask her I get blue, but still. It has me worried for her.

I also sometimes run into the issue of what to talk to her about. Like we basically will be sitting/standing around awkwardly in wonderland (Or in my head) trying to think up something to talk about. Any ideas on topics we could talk about, or a way to help my Tulpa to think up of topics of discussion.

I know my Tulpa is pretty new, but I feel like she might be advancing at a very quick rate (I think it has something to do with having pretty good visualization skills) So, any ideas or suggestions? like what to talk about, how to help her become more decisive, and such?
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#2
That's pretty normal early on. I'd advise just to keep talking to her and asking her questions; she'll develop more individuality and her own opinions (and better ability to communicate) in time.
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#3
Okay. Thanks again Fennec : )

Its just a little hard when I keep getting an "I dont know' >.<
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#4
You're welcome, and good luck with your tulpa Smile
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#5
Well, if you had all the intelligence you do now and none of the experiences of living as long as you have, everything would be a bit overwhelming. She's learning as she goes, and even if she doesn't have a answer now, asking her is still helping. Keep doing what you're doing, it's good!
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#6
(08-04-2014, 02:12 AM)The Shadow Knight Wrote: She seems to be undecisive. I was wondering is this normal at the beginning? and is there anything I can do to help my tulpa become more decisive?

She also seems to change her answers to some questions. It has me worried for her.

While I didn't personally experience it, perhaps she is still figuring out where she stands on things? After all, she's a very young tulpa and there is still so much she doesn't know about. If you're creating a personality for her, maybe you haven't forced it hard enough. If you force it more, she'll become more decisive based on what you've told her about. So, in regards to topics, try and talk about things that would help her decide what she likes. Sure, red or blue is simple, but figure out why she liked red at some point. For example:

"Hey Void, do you like one piece or two piece swim suits?"

[I like 2 pieces, personally.]

(I could leave it at that, but if I figure out why, I understand more about her, and so does she)

"Why is that? Wouldn't a one piece be better?"

[Well, in what way? I like two pieces because I look much better and I can do so much more!]

One issue you might run into is her just saying "I don't know". You can't do anything about that except move onto another question. Random stuff spur advancement on more than the same tired topics. Just go out for a walk and ask her questions related to what you see.
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#7
Your concern is probably how to become a better conversationalist with your tulpa, and honestly, there’s so many ways to go about achieving that. Try to imagine treating them in a way like you would to anyone else, especially to a stranger you just met. You wouldn’t ask them what their favorite color is just out of the blue because they may feel like you’re interrogating them, or giving them a questionnaire. You’d start out with some kind of icebreaker to fuel the conversation, and start with the generics.

It’s kind of like how you would do to get a person in sync into conversation with you, and making them feel more comfortable actually discussing with you. It may sound boring trying to talk about what went on in your day, but if you’re having a struggle coming up with things to talk about with them, sometimes it may be best to stick with the generics. But sometimes people’s lives aren’t that extensive to make a whole conversation about, so something else you could reconsider is making rhetorical questions.

In other words, when you ask a question every now and then to your tulpa, try to think a little deeper on the content of the question, and don’t cling onto the expectation of them having to respond immediately. In your perception, you’d imagine that they were receptive to your question, and you revel a bit knowing that they can respond to it anytime they wish. It’s not always about having to hear their voice to make yourself feel at ease, but more of believing that they can acknowledge you without always speaking.

This kind of pattern can be a downer for people, especially those that cling to instant gratification, but if you’re wanting to do the whole self-fulfilling prophecy thing with treating your tulpa as sentient, you may find yourself mixing around with having to imagine their ontology, or what defines them in order to connect to how they may respond to your questions. This could also validate what others have been saying that your tulpa will probably need some time to find themselves.

In other words, what makes them, them is going to take some time. And while it’s easy for you as the host to sustain this self-fulfilling prophecy that your tulpa and you are advancing so much, it could really just be you advancing, and not really your tulpa. It gets confusing at this point since it’s all speculation and beliefs can mean everything to everyone, but sometimes our tulpas in development just need some time.

Unless you have their ontology engraved in a 26 paged pdf format, you’ll probably have to be patient with them and yourself. Take some time to be reflective of who your tulpa is, or the ontology of what makes them, them. Over time, how they respond to your questions will come by naturally. A probability to this theory is that if they can sustain themselves without you being so consciously militant on developing them all the time, they can respond in a way that they feel is what they’ll say, and not solely based on predispositions and desires you have.

It becomes more problematic in being assured if they responded consistently, and not in a way where they say purple, and then cyan the next. Sometimes I feel that finding ways to be receptive to our tulpas can be like a double-edge sword. In other words, trying to be aware of their voices can have other thoughts getting in your way. It then becomes a challenge of mastering how you react to what’s going on in your head, and trying to find that indistinguishable sign(s) that it was your tulpa responding to you.

You can’t expect to find those connections in 4-5 days, and personally, even after a few years of communicating with mine both in dreams and waking life, there’s always something new I’m learning about their existence, and how they validate themselves. You could think of it as some stretched out self-fulfilling prophecy, i.e., treating them as sentient to be consistent with the belief that they can be sentient entities in your perception of reality. The more I learn about them, the more I learn about my own predispositions, desires, and preferences…and these aspects gradually keep changing.

Speaking from experience with trial and error, and trying to continue being a better conversationalist with my companions as well, I often find going through existential thinking with their ontology (or sense of self) can help in becoming a conduit for other conversations to come by naturally; it creates some sort of bleeding effect. But again, how people treat others as sentient as they are (or of varying degrees) is completely subjective, so don’t take what I say so seriously.

Recap:

When you feel you’re getting far with communication with your tulpa in such a short period of time, it’s probably you clinging with sustaining a self-fulfilling prophecy when you’re finding ways to contribute to your tulpa’s development. And when that belief latches onto you, you start becoming blind to the probability that they themselves may feel intimidated/incompetent for not being able to sustain your current beliefs about them. And when you feel you’ve gone so far up the ladder in communication, you’re getting stutters from them, and you probably feel a little disappointed, and start questioning the competency of yourself and your companion.

Presuming you’ve done this for a short period of time, try to let your tulpa develop their ontology, or what they feel makes them, them more than only focusing on little icebreakers to try and become a better conversationalist. This can be confusing, especially if you feel having those little conversations contributes to their development, and it really does. But if you’re having a struggle of them responding, maybe you could aim for more questions that don’t need a response (e.g. rhetorical question), and developing the assurance that they’ll be able to respond to such queries over time. This way, your tulpa who may be trying to find their sense of self can be more comfortable formulating while you augment your skills in other aspects.

For example:

“Hey Eva, some people can find their silver linings in life, and stick to them…you know what I mean?”

That’s it. Don’t worry about how they’ll respond. Just be willing to acknowledge that they heard you, and let them think it over. If they don’t respond, no big deal, and don’t let it get to you. They’re probably just having a hard time getting deep and philosophical, especially in a short period of time.

You could also see it from a perspective that you can’t expect your brain to render out all these means for communication for your tulpa to utilize in such a small period of time. You’ll probably just have to deal with trial-and-error like everyone else, unless you have some kind of huge cognitive repertoire (e.g. narrative skills, visualization, empathy). But even if you do, it’s really about how you assess these challenges rather than having competencies engrained that aren't being used to your advantage.

No use having competence in things when you can’t use them when you need them, know what I mean?
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