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Poll: Who does the most work to switch?
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The one switching in
30.00%
3 30.00%
The one switching out
10.00%
1 10.00%
Both
30.00%
3 30.00%
It can go either way
30.00%
3 30.00%
Total 10 vote(s) 100%
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[Switching] Who Leads a Switch?
#1
Simple question/discussion topic.

If you system switches, then when you switch, who primarily leads the switch? Who has to put the most effort/mental energy in to make the switch successful, or things like that. Who has to actively do the most stuff during the process to make it work.
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#2
person fronting has to switch out, then the one switching in has to switch in, I'd say switching out is just a bit harder but really each person does their own part, at least in our system
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#3
When we were learning how, we usually tried to work together, but Vesper tended to take the lead both coming in and going out. My role in switching out was just to relax and accept; she could switch out even if I was unconscious. As I became more capable in the mental realm, we gradually shifted to the incoming partner taking the lead. And the past few months, once the decision to switch has been made, it just sort of suddenly happens. Several times, we've discussed it, but we can't figure out that any of us actually took action. So it no longer takes a process, technique, time, concentration, or a leader.

Our old techniques are still effective for us; they're just more jarring than what we do now.

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#4
for us it changes as the process goes on. in the beginning it is mostly on the outgoing systemmember to retreat, then the incoming member has to situate themself in the front and fully push out the outgoing systemmember. sometimes the incoming systemmember has been able to push out the outgoing systemmember without any work on the outgoing members part, but that is much more difficult
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#5
It can go both ways. if i wanted to kick aubrey into the front right now, i could (although confusion would probably follow). if aubrey wanted to push in to the front, or 'steal the front', it would work too. it just depends who feels like putting in the effort (which is usually both of us, but sometimes isn't). we don't really need collaboration to switch in/out (but we never intentionally do it without asking, because that's just rude). i guess if i had to pick out one of the two, i'd say that the person switching in puts in more effort, because for us, we usually use grounding techniques to help tell the brain who's in front, once we switch in. we don't need to think much about the process while doing it.

there's also unintentional/involuntary switching, and in some cases even blending (or you might call it unintentional merging?), where it sorta just... happens. not sure what i'm meant to say about that.

when we were first getting the hang of switching, absolutely, it was the person switching in. the person switching out mostly just observed and had the odd stray thought, while the person switching in had to focus on keeping the front, and making sure to remind the brain that 'yes, i am in fact switched in'.

since, as far as we are aware, switching can be triggered by basically anyone in a system, there is probably a wide range of different ways to switch, in terms of who needs to do what. i'd say a lot of it is up to you, to develop the internal experience behind it. what i mean is, if you want to work together to switch, you can do that. if you don't, you don't.
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#6
Keep in mind we started switching less than a week ago, and we’ve only done two switches in which the one switching in was successful in keeping me quiet for long enough. But, every time we’ve made an attempt, the one switching in’s being doing pretty much everything.
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#7
(10-09-2019, 03:53 PM)Lucilyn Wrote: person fronting has to switch out, then the one switching in has to switch in, I'd say switching out is just a bit harder but really each person does their own part, at least in our system

This pretty much for us too, but switching out is generally easier compared to switching in for us. Used to be the other way around but switching in general is much easier since we learned to become aware of dissociation.
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