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Who Leads a Switch?

Indigo Blue

Who does the most work to switch?  

13 members have voted

  1. 1. Who does the most work to switch?

    • The one switching in
    • The one switching out
    • Both
    • It can go either way

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[align=justify]Simple question/discussion topic.


If you system switches, then when you switch, who primarily leads the switch? Who has to put the most effort/mental energy in to make the switch successful, or things like that. Who has to actively do the most stuff during the process to make it work.[/align]

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person fronting has to switch out, then the one switching in has to switch in, I'd say switching out is just a bit harder but really each person does their own part, at least in our system

Hi, I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.

I think being happy and having fun makes life worth living, so spreading happiness is my number one goal!

Talk to us? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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When we were learning how, we usually tried to work together, but Vesper tended to take the lead both coming in and going out. My role in switching out was just to relax and accept; she could switch out even if I was unconscious. As I became more capable in the mental realm, we gradually shifted to the incoming partner taking the lead. And the past few months, once the decision to switch has been made, it just sort of suddenly happens. Several times, we've discussed it, but we can't figure out that any of us actually took action. So it no longer takes a process, technique, time, concentration, or a leader.


Our old techniques are still effective for us; they're just more jarring than what we do now.



I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember


Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015


'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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for us it changes as the process goes on. in the beginning it is mostly on the outgoing systemmember to retreat, then the incoming member has to situate themself in the front and fully push out the outgoing systemmember. sometimes the incoming systemmember has been able to push out the outgoing systemmember without any work on the outgoing members part, but that is much more difficult

I have a tulpa named Miela who I love very much.


"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"


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It can go both ways. if i wanted to kick aubrey into the front right now, i could (although confusion would probably follow). if aubrey wanted to push in to the front, or 'steal the front', it would work too. it just depends who feels like putting in the effort (which is usually both of us, but sometimes isn't). we don't really need collaboration to switch in/out (but we never intentionally do it without asking, because that's just rude). i guess if i had to pick out one of the two, i'd say that the person switching in puts in more effort, because for us, we usually use grounding techniques to help tell the brain who's in front, once we switch in. we don't need to think much about the process while doing it.


there's also unintentional/involuntary switching, and in some cases even blending (or you might call it unintentional merging?), where it sorta just... happens. not sure what i'm meant to say about that.


when we were first getting the hang of switching, absolutely, it was the person switching in. the person switching out mostly just observed and had the odd stray thought, while the person switching in had to focus on keeping the front, and making sure to remind the brain that 'yes, i am in fact switched in'.


since, as far as we are aware, switching can be triggered by basically anyone in a system, there is probably a wide range of different ways to switch, in terms of who needs to do what. i'd say a lot of it is up to you, to develop the internal experience behind it. what i mean is, if you want to work together to switch, you can do that. if you don't, you don't.


Aubrey (they/them) speaks like this and Shield (they/them) speaks like this... haha just kidding. Ah, memories.

Our profile picture is of Shield, because that's who mostly uses this account...

[the outdated lore]

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Keep in mind we started switching less than a week ago, and we’ve only done two switches in which the one switching in was successful in keeping me quiet for long enough. But, every time we’ve made an attempt, the one switching in’s being doing pretty much everything.

“We need MOAR FLUFFY TOASTERS!!!” - Torea

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person fronting has to switch out, then the one switching in has to switch in, I'd say switching out is just a bit harder but really each person does their own part, at least in our system


This pretty much for us too, but switching out is generally easier compared to switching in for us. Used to be the other way around but switching in general is much easier since we learned to become aware of dissociation.

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  • 4 weeks later...

There's a similar amount of effort put in from the host and tulpa, where one needs to dissociate / "disconnect" from the senses (I've seen some people refer to this as "reverse imposition" when placing yourself into an imagined environment) while also making sure to cut off any external distractions, and the other has to "slip in" through some sort of symbolic aid or the usual possession methods. The spot left when the body-user disconnects, at least in our case, is fairly easy for the person switching in to default to. Unlike possession, we can't steal control from one another if necessary.

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We do it together.


Emily (My Tulpa, or spirit as she prefers to be called) and I are talking about it before we do it.

When the time is right and we both agree we switch.

What mainly happens is that she uses my voice and body and she operates it.

All while I watch, it's insanely cool to see how differently she acts with my body and how well she does things I can't do myself, and it's my body!

Sometimes she just want to touch my face so I gave her a permission to do it as long as no one sees it.

She sometimes do stuff without my permissions but not things that can hurt me.

Like this one time she gave a middle finger to one of my friends whom she hates. lol.


White Knight. & Emily.

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