Complexities

[Sock]

And one other thing. From what I've seen, tulpamancers are freaking impatient. They build an entire person out of scratch, then start worrying when they don't learn to walk fresh out of the womb. Maybe it's because the movement is so young yet, I don't know. You've got years ahead of you to get all this stuff ironed out. There's nothing wrong with taking your time. Down the road, you will look back and all that time spent stressing about your tulpa not being fully formed yet will be just a memory. That, I can tell you with experience from the other side of it.

 

Signal boosting this, it's really something folks need to hear more of.

 

The sense of impatience seems to have gotten worse as time goes on. There were many who were ground down by doubts and mistrust of their partner's responses, but they at least waited about a month or so before panicking. I'm seeing more and more threads where the person asking the question literally only began the practice less than five days prior. It's kind of baffling.

 

It really makes me think that more guides should make it clear that folks should give the process at least 1-2 months before expecting results. I know hour counts are considered bad, but this impatience is getting extreme.

 

||~~ * ~~||

 

I've been feeling guilty. For some reason, I've been thinking that I've not been sharing enough time with my tulpa.

 

I've started to feel like I'm not enough and lacking something. This is the same feeling that I have when I think that people will always be better than me, which is toxic. Incredibly toxic.

 

I'll tell you the truth, this is actually a somewhat common issue among the people here. I myself had to deal with it, and you've already seen how others in this thread had to as well. Sometimes this feeling is accurate, when you notice yourself spending noticeably more time on the forum, than you do interacting with your buddy, which is supposed to be the reason you're on the forum. But in either case, it can be as acid to your resolve, especially if you couple it with self criticism and blame...

 

I don't really care about myself anymore. I don't feel like I do. Making Céleste vocal is the only thing that would prove me to be enough' date=' and I still can't hear him. The thoughts he sends me went out of their routine since the time I started to feel guilty, too.[/quote']

 

...which is what you promptly do here. This issue is much larger than you simply not talking to your buddy. Your confidence is clearly low, and you're connecting your sense of self worth to you ability to succeed in this exercise, which is NOT a good thing in any sense of the word. I tell you the truth, your partner can come to age, start speaking to you, loving you, comforting you, and keep doing it, and you'll either still feel like garbage, or you'll become unhealthily dependent on your partner, without truly addressing the things that make you feel such antipathy toward yourself. If I were to suggest anything, dealing with this sense of being a failure, of hating yourself, and regarding yourself as useless is what you must attend to. Take time to look at how you treat yourself, understand why you do it, and further understand that you truly, truly do not need to do that to you.

 

Remember that a "tulpa" is made from your own self. They can be very happy, joyful, and work to cheer you up, and seem for all the world to be your opposite, but they're still made from you, and live in you. Loving them, is loving part of yourself, and that being the case, doesn't it mean that you aren't unlovable?

[SomethingDire]

 

Signal boosting this, it's really something folks need to hear more of.

 

The sense of impatience seems to have gotten worse as time goes on. There were many who were ground down by doubts and mistrust of their partner's responses, but they at least waited about a month or so before panicking. I'm seeing more and more threads where the person asking the question literally only began the practice less than five days prior. It's kind of baffling.

 

It really makes me think that more guides should make it clear that folks should give the process at least 1-2 months before expecting results. I know hour counts are considered bad, but this impatience is getting extreme.

 

Your post just made me go back to my progress report and check how much time has passed since I went back to working on Céleste. It's been a month and a few days. So yes, what you said just might be true. I am an impatient person, and skeptic too, to make it worse. I might have just gotten discouraged by all the people developing so quickly.

 

Thank you for this. It might just be what I need.

[Temar]

I am an impatient person, and skeptic too, to make it worse.

 

Oooh, yeah. Skepticism will get you in tulpamancy. ;)

 

Me and Joss are pretty much the only ones in our system who can completely roll over our host's ongoing skepticism about most things plurality related... me because I'm most consistently independent, and him because of sheer force of personality. Takes a while for a tulpa to build up enough confidence to beat a host's skepticism, but it can be done.

 

And if it helps, the first tulpa's the hardest. I don't know how long it took me to form (albeit accidentally), but it sure as shit wasn't under six months. You've got all these neat guides and other people who can help. You'll get there; it just takes time.

[SomethingDire]

 

Oooh, yeah. Skepticism will get you in tulpamancy. ;)

 

Me and Joss are pretty much the only ones in our system who can completely roll over our host's ongoing skepticism about most things plurality related... me because I'm most consistently independent, and him because of sheer force of personality. Takes a while for a tulpa to build up enough confidence to beat a host's skepticism, but it can be done.

 

And if it helps, the first tulpa's the hardest. I don't know how long it took me to form (albeit accidentally), but it sure as shit wasn't under six months. You've got all these neat guides and other people who can help. You'll get there; it just takes time.

 

 

Thank you, Temar, your comment is valuable.

---

 

||~~ * ~~||

 

 

I'll tell you the truth, this is actually a somewhat common issue among the people here. I myself had to deal with it, and you've already seen how others in this thread had to as well. Sometimes this feeling is accurate, when you notice yourself spending noticeably more time on the forum, than you do interacting with your buddy, which is supposed to be the reason you're on the forum. But in either case, it can be as acid to your resolve, especially if you couple it with self criticism and blame...

 

 

...which is what you promptly do here. This issue is much larger than you simply not talking to your buddy. Your confidence is clearly low, and you're connecting your sense of self worth to you ability to succeed in this exercise, which is NOT a good thing in any sense of the word. I tell you the truth, your partner can come to age, start speaking to you, loving you, comforting you, and keep doing it, and you'll either still feel like garbage, or you'll become unhealthily dependent on your partner, without truly addressing the things that make you feel such antipathy toward yourself. If I were to suggest anything, dealing with this sense of being a failure, of hating yourself, and regarding yourself as useless is what you must attend to. Take time to look at how you treat yourself, understand why you do it, and further understand that you truly, truly do not need to do that to you.

 

Remember that a "tulpa" is made from your own self. They can be very happy, joyful, and work to cheer you up, and seem for all the world to be your opposite, but they're still made from you, and live in you. Loving them, is loving part of yourself, and that being the case, doesn't it mean that you aren't unlovable?

 

That issue runs deep in me. I have very few things that I feel that I belong, and it is impossible for me to be with them. Since my childhood to this day, I have been wandering around, trying to find a point. I haven't been able to.

 

But that's a whole another point. Thank you Sock, your logic is very precise and helpful.