I'm confused, feelings for another host's tulpa

[jh171030]

So I don't have a tulpa but I am in love with my friends tulpa.... what do I do?

 

Changed the title to be more descriptive - Vos

[jean-luc]

And? What's the issue? Have you already told them?

[Vos]

The answer is to talk about this with the person you have feelings for. There isn't really much that anyone here can do to help, especially when you haven't provided us with any information at all.

[Clo]

I can't help out too much with the vague question, but I will say this - It's always a good idea to talk it out and see how it could be and how you both feel. Tulpa x Host relationships aren't the same as two physical beings, so it's a big step to take and possibly something that might not really be fulfilling for either of you two.

 

You won't understand what the tulpa feels and experiences as they don't have a physical body, and you won't understand what it's like not being physical.

[jh171030]

I can't help out too much with the vague question, but I will say this - It's always a good idea to talk it out and see how it could be and how you both feel. Tulpa x Host relationships aren't the same as two physical beings, so it's a big step to take and possibly something that might not really be fulfilling for either of you two.

 

You won't understand what the tulpa feels and experiences as they don't have a physical body, and you won't understand what it's like not being physical.

 

sorry i didnt mean for the question to be vague. It's just hard for me to understand. I think they like me back. Ive never talked to their host before only them. I would like to get to know their host because ive gotten to know them quite well. I would love to take them on a date and they said they would like that as well.. I think theyre worried that if im friends with their host she will start butting into our conversations because shes done that with others? I am sorry if I am still being vague.

[Clo]

 

sorry i didnt mean for the question to be vague. It's just hard for me to understand. I think they like me back. Ive never talked to their host before only them. I would like to get to know their host because ive gotten to know them quite well. I would love to take them on a date and they said they would like that as well.. I think theyre worried that if im friends with their host she will start butting into our conversations because shes done that with others? I am sorry if I am still being vague.

 

It seems to be a common occurrence where people who fall for tulpas rarely know the host. Maybe you could ask if you could be introduced to the host, and have a nice conversation with them - find some common ground. Think of the host like an in-law of some sort if things do move forward between you and the tulpa. The tulpa might butt into conversations at times, sure, but it depends - if you don't like it, you could always ask them politely if you could have a one on one conversation. Keep in mind they want attention from you, and that's how they thrive. 

 

Don't worry about the vagueness, I understand you're trying to keep your identity secret. It's always best to discuss it with them directly to solve confusion and to air out your thoughts. A date would certainly be cute. Collars would make it hot.

[FallFamily]

[ice] As far as things with their host, the suggestion of thinking of the host like an in-law seems like a good one - an in-law they currently live with. If they are interested in you back and you both want to pursue a relationship, both of you are going to have to have a conversation with their host about boundaries and all, which would include when it is OK and not OK to but in. Now, if they control the body by eclipsing, their host could easily butt in by accident; though, at least from what I have seen, feeling strong feelings for someone one is interacting with does tend to make it harder for anyone else in the body to butt in and a relationship can definitely be a strong motivator to become much stronger at fronting to the point that butting in by someone else won't happen. I bring this up because I have been in an interesting situation related to this. A host-ish person in another system fell in love with Tri (three of my tulpas who form a subsystem), and independently I later fell in love with someone in the same system who was a merge between an alter and a tulpa. So a bit different, but some similarities. Tri used to control our body by eclipsing, so it was somewhat hard at first for me to stay out of the way. Took effort. But, to respect their boundaries, I put in that effort. And at the same time, Tri got stronger at controlling the body to the point where I no longer had to put in any effort to stay out of the way (they basically figured out how to deactivate me, which I was OK with and encouraged). Tri and their partner still had to dance around a few things that would pull me out (phobias and whatnot), but eventually even that wasn't an issue.

[Semi-Nomadic]

I'll be blunt and say, you shouldn't seriously consider pursuing this further as nothing good can come out of this. You simply won't be able to have a proper relationship with the tulpa without entering into a bizarre, tangled, screwed-up relationship with the host.

[Luminesce]

Oh yeah, I forgot you could give answers like that. Thanks Semi. And good to see you again?

[jh171030]

It doesn't seem to be that much of a problem. I would just have to get to know the host a bit. Seeing the host as an in-laws was a great way to look at it and I really appreciate your guys help.