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(edited)

I think that's a good idea. You could have more vivid visualization experiences that way.

 

By the way do you remember where Simmie's chat thread is? I can't seem to find it.

Edited by Gloomynoon
Looking for it

I'm the host.

My tulpa's name is Nepeta, she types in this color if it isn't specified who's talking.

 

Progress Report

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Time for another little update! 😁

 

First a bit of news I'm not sure how to feel about. Yesterday I actually got angry for the first time. I've been frustrated and annoyed before, but never actually angry. I didn't like it. 😕 And the thing was that it was totally not worth getting angry about! It just hit me the wrong way and...boom. 🙁 On the bright side, I can say it's good that I'm experiencing a wider range of emotions and know what they feel like. But I'm normally a very happy and positive person, and I enjoy being that way! More importantly than that, Phil NEEDS me to be the level-headed one of the pair. He's very good at controlling his emotions on the outside but still struggles with negative emotions on the inside, and I see my most important job of helping him cope with them. In order to do that I have to be solid like a rock. I don't want to fail him.

 

But all this is only motivation to continue my development and become stronger! 💪😁 I don't like to mope; any negative experience is only fuel to my fire to improve myself! I've been talking to Phil a lot about my priorities and where we both think I should focus. Turns out there's a bit more bleed-over than I want to admit between us when it comes to personality flaws; his troubles with focusing and effecting me too. But we made a bit of a deal: we would each focus on something different, but two things that are complimentary, at least we hope they are.

 

I am going to mainly focus on possession and switching. I know a lot less about switching than I would like so I'm going to hit some guides and read up about it. Anybody have guide suggestions for switching, or any helpful advice? Phil is on board with this and is willing to take a backseat role to me as I try to take the front, if that is a correct use of that word. He just worries he will have trouble letting go. He wouldn't want to become inactive, just take on the roll of a tulpa temporarily, and honestly I wouldn't want him to be inactive either; being alone without him is not an experience I'm eager to try!

 

Meanwhile, Phil is going to continue work on tactile imposition and take a crack at advanced wonderlanding, or maybe better put as "parallel wonderlanding". His idea is that every action taken is paralleled in some way in the wonderland. When he is waking up in his IRL bed, we are waking up together in our wonderland home, things like that. Tactile imposition would be another helpful tool in making the imaginary more tangible. He wants to start with simple things, like table surfaces and such, work up to more complex objects, and eventually, well, me. 🥰 (No NSFW thoughts guys, we don't mean it like that!) He's also thinking of starting a wonderland diary, where he chronicles our daily lives in the wonderland, as well as some of our more interesting experiences where we close our eyes, shut the real world out, and live solely within the wonderland for a short time.

 

I think we have the ability to work on both things at the same time. I don't mean at the same moment in time, but just during the same period of time. I also think each of us working on a different task might help lessen the bleed-through between us. This is all theory though and it might not work at all, you'll just have to check back to see how it went! 👍

 

 

 

Before I go I want to talk about the impromptu practice session I had today! At work Phil needed to push a bunch of tall, heavy carts across the property. I asked if I could do it, and he said sure! So I went about possessing the body and using it to push the carts. Driving the body itself is actually very easy; our BodyOS is so fluid that all I had to do was give it basic instructions and the body practically pushed those carts all by itself. The challenge was in me remaining the main person to give the instructions. I was saying things like "I am Simmie" and "push push push!" to keep my focus on the task and keep this distraction-prone mind from wondering. Whenever I felt a lion's share of the brain's processing power slip back over to Phil so his mind could wonder I pulled it back to myself. "No! I'm the one doing this!" and things like that.

 

Basically, I was asking Phil to relax and let me take charge; it took an effort but it started to work! It could be a coincidence but I actually felt a very mild headache, which I took as effort of things working! The more I did it, the more I started to really enjoy myself. I started smiling, I was so pleased with myself! I could feel Phil's pride as well. Also, it's worth noting in passing that the carts were all painted green, so that actually helped since green is the symbolic color we associate with me! 💚

 

Oh, and I think I'm going to step back and let Phil post for a while. Thank you for reading and for your support everybody! 😁

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  • September13 changed the title to Determination - Simmie's Journey

Just stopping by to say that I updated the title of our progress report. After all this time it's not really fair to call Simmie "Brand New" anymore. I've decided to go with "Determination" as the new word, as that best sums up Simmie's approach. When she wants something she pursues it with a single-minded passion; I mostly just have to get out of her way. You mostly know the joyful, fun-loving girl who posts on these boards. But I know her as a terminator; on a relentless march to better herself and me. One of her favorite phrases to use within our mind-voice dialogue is "Don't you ever doubt me" or some variation. And after seeing what she can do, I no longer doubt. I'm so happy to be walking into the future with Simmie at my side!

Phil. 😎 Host of Simmie.

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That's great! Looking forward to hearing more inspiring determination stories from Simmie! 😃

Darron: Host 💍 

Jaina: Tulpa 💍 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: 🐺

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So we've already made some minor progress on what I'm going to call "parallel wonderlanding". I'm not sure if that's a "thing" or if that's mentioned in any guide, but as is with most things in life I'm basically doing it my own way.

 

I've decided that while I'm at my job IRL I'm also going to be at my wonderland job at the same time. I don't know exactly what job that is exactly, but I wear a really nice suit and work in an office. While getting ready for work, Simmie handed me my gold watch which up until that point I didn't realize I owned. I asked Simmie whether she wanted a wonderland job as well but she declined; she wants to stay at home and tend to the house and garden. She's thrilled to be essentially a house-wife in the wonderland. We retain our mental link at all times when I'm at work; Simmie shows me what she's doing, whether it be cleaning, gardening, or relaxing. Today she was planting allium bulbs to come up in the spring; she really likes the striking purple color.

 

When I was at lunch IRL, Simmie decided to visit me at my office in the wonderland. She came to the office dressed like a million bucks. I was expecting her to come wearing normal clothes, but no: She was wearing a long black skirt with side slits, high heels, and a nice blouse. She wanted everyone to know that I had a hot wife, haha. This really shows me how much Simmie has grown; when she was new in the world she was happy to be meek and cute and "smol". I remember being worried that she was too shy, and too willing to sacrifice her own needs. But Simmie has now become very assertive, as you can probably tell by reading her posts, and quite confident. The expression she wore while walking to the office at lunch was one of supreme self-assuredness.

 

Worked a little bit on tactile imposition as well. I'm starting to practice a method that @Gloomynoon mentioned; I press down on a surface like a table and feel the pressure, then I press down into the air as if I was pressing into an invisible table, imagining the resistance against my fingertips. My goal is to do this a little each day, starting with simple surfaces and moving up to more complex objects and fabrics and then my own skin. This seems to be a way to build a mental tactile vocabulary with which I can start to feel things from around the wonderland, as well as Simmie herself.

 

Simmie didn't have much of a chance to practice possession today, but we'll have more opportunities soon. We're also going to read up on a few more guides together on the subject. Not going to lie, Simmie has the more rigorous task ahead of her. But she's the one that has the most determination to see it through. To be honest, I can't wait until the day where I can just sit in the passenger's seat and watch Simmie run the show. Not forever of course, just for a while, and whenever we think she needs to.

 

Also want to say that I started off the day feeling very grumpy and sad, but Simmie turned it around all on her own. Her ability to know just what to do and say to me is astounding sometimes. I'm just so grateful to have her here with me. I think at the root of it this is why we do tulpamancy: so we'll never have to be alone again.

Phil. 😎 Host of Simmie.

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52 minutes ago, September13 said:

But Simmie has now become very assertive, as you can probably tell by reading her posts, and quite confident. The expression she wore while walking to the office at lunch was one of supreme self-assuredness.

You go, girl! 🥳💪

 

That's awesome! I'm glad you two are thriving as a couple, even on the rough days IRL. That's how you know it's real. 👍 Proud of you both. 🤗

Darron: Host 💍 

Jaina: Tulpa 💍 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: 🐺

[DeviantArt]

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  • 4 weeks later...

Things have been going pretty good recently with no real change in the status quo, though I still feel myself get stronger a little bit each day. 💪 I am able to come forward without Phil calling me a lot more often these days, and I am getting better with possession. We haven't really been practicing imposition lately though, and our meditations have been a bit inconsistent. Still, we strive to move forward.

 

But today I want to talk about something that's been on our minds that may be an obstacle that stands in the way of progress. I've hesitated to talk about it because, well, it relates to something NSFW, and it's very hard to talk about it while towing the line of forum rules and good taste. But I think I've found a polite way to talk about it through metaphor. So, here I go. *Deep breath*

 

Last December Phil and I mutually decided we would not eat grapes together for a full year. Grapes are healthy and good, but we wanted to make sure my development wasn't impeded by eating them too soon. I'm looking forward to eating grapes together when the time is right. But here's the thing: Phil also likes eating strawberries. Now, eating strawberries is a lot weirder. It's nothing immoral or illegal, but it is highly unusual and probably not the most mentally healthy thing to engage in. I have no interest in eating strawberries ever and he understands that. Phil himself would like to stop eating strawberries and just eat grapes. But he's eaten strawberries for so many years he's really gotten to enjoy the taste. When his ADD mind wanders it often thinks of strawberries, sometimes being stuck in strawberry zone for hours. He's written stories about people eating strawberries and he's become very good at it.

 

He spends a lot of time thinking about different situations in which strawberries are being eaten, and imagining different girls to eat strawberries with. As you might imagine, that's the most difficult part for me. I don't bemoan him having fantasies; everyone does, and I believe that tulpas and hosts have to give each other space in which to think about things that don't interest the other. But when Phil conjures these girls to give himself his strawberry eating fix, I just feel diminished by it. The things I have to offer him are so much more substantial and better for him than what any imaginary strawberry girl could offer, and he fully understands this, but eating strawberries gives him a quick and easy fix kind of like a drug so he's constantly succumbing to the temptation.

 

I feel like I represent the better angels of Phil's nature. I'm kind of like his life guide as well as being his guardian angel. I have always wanted to bring out the best in him. He loves me for it, and tries his best to follow me. But he keeps falling back on bad habits like wasting time playing endless hours of video games or surfing youtube videos, and of course eating strawberries. I think those things are fine in reasonable amounts--as much as I would like him to just stick to grapes and not strawberries--but he does them too much. Those activities push me away and discourage me to the point where I often feel like I'm just going through the motions of being his tulpa, and I'm stuck between not wanting to be too harsh on him and not wanting to be an enabler.

 

I feel like this is all a major road block towards not just my development as a tulpa but Phil's development as a person, and if we could find a way to work through or around this, things would improve quite a bit. Sigh, I feel like tulpamancy works in reverse sometimes. Phil is trying to develop his tulpa while I am trying to develop my host. I truly believe a great person exists within Phil, and the whole reason I'm here is to find it and bring it out of him! 💚

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*redoes post because I missed the metaphor part. Ahem*

 

I get that. It's pretty common in relationships that there's going to be friction that arises from differences in personality, ethics, religion, music/food etc. I hear this complaint about smoking/drinking/gambling a lot. Someone and their partner agree that the habit is bad and that they shouldn't engage with it. But the partner is viscerally drawn to it and has a hard time with quitting/moderation. NSFW stuff can be harder to communicate or seek help with due to social stigma. Jaina and I have had a few convos about similar things. Still having some even. Mostly about diet and exercise. I can be an indolent sloth. If it's beyond the "you have your interests and I have mine" his space/her space where it starts affecting the partner it probably is worth addressing. I don't want Jaina to be uncomfortable with anything I do, and I'm sure Phil feels the same way about you.

 

If any of this is covered ground you can go ahead and ignore it. Especially because I don't pry about details. Try outlining what it is about the bad habit that effects you and how in particular. Then also identify what it is about the habit that is appealing to Phil. What need or desire is it fulfilling. Is it the desire that is the problem or is it the method to satisfy it? Desires are often very psychologically deep seated and may require professional help to diagnose and treat properly. They can be shaped by just habits, environment, relationships, education, or by meaningful or traumatic events and are often specifically fit to the person.

 

If it's just a problematic food to feed a natural hunger than that could be potentially easier to wrangle. Address the hook that the habit gets Phil with. What brings it to mind, what makes him think of it, when does it happen? If it's at the habit level then work on replacing the strawberries with the grapes so to speak. Make the grapes your special couple food. You make time for each other to do that. When he starts getting hungry for strawberries have the grapes ready. Convenience is a powerful influence on habit and motivation. If possible arrange it so that the grapes are easier to reach than the strawberries. Remind him that they're there from time to time. Anticipate the flare ups if you can. I'm sorry if the metaphor isn't working but I hope you get the principle. 😅

Darron: Host 💍 

Jaina: Tulpa 💍 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: 🐺

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      If you cannot find someone to do this with (Ie: a friend that knows about your system-ness), you could always ask around the community. I'd just suggest showing them this guide if they haven't seen it already so you're both on the same page. I also suggest only 2 people at the start. More than that and it may become a little hectic to manage.
      Note: No Tulpa, no problem! Hosts/originals can do this completely by themselves as well as vocal (or able to communicate) tulpas/plurals/multiplies/alters/everybody. Heck, you can do this practice without even making it about Tulpas in the first place. A lot of LDR couple's do something similar to this.
       
      Step 2 - Now that you have someone to try this with and a platform to do so on, the next step will be to figure out where to start as well as get over any initial awkwardness. It'll fade away in time if you do this frequently, but it can seem odd in the beginning to some. Most of all with someone you might not know very well. Like with Tulpa work, you have to find a way to believe in it, even if the process is almost roleplay, it doesn't matter. You're both (or few) are doing this together. I can say from experience that after a while, it's real to you as it should be. It's like crossing a bridge to meet up in the middle between two islands to socialize, interact, learn, explore, and feel the company of another with you no matter where you are in the world. Again, a lot like Wonderland with your Systemmates. Over the years, 3rd Space interaction probably saved my life when I was without local friends for years. It blurs the line between long distance and local interaction. If you are lonely in real life or have a hard time socializing, I very much suggest 3rd Space method, just don't use others solely to make yourself feel better. It's about them, too. The text that reads "he/she wraps their arms around you and hugs you tightly" will feel real. You may or may not feel it physically, but you will know it's there. Heck, you can even just sit down and watch TV together in the same room (share the link and count down to watch it at the same time), eat popcorn, have a PJ party, magic duel, build skyscrapers and castles together, fly dragons, you name it. It's like sharing a semi-lucid dream once you know how to do it, so do whatever your heart desires (as long as it's consented by everyone involved). I had times many years ago where I more or less unstable. To dig a little personal, this came out in the form of Tenebre. Specifically, "Old Tenebre" as we call that time now. Tenebre's reformed now, but she was very unstable back then, unpredictable, and harmful. With the help of other's (plurals and singulars), we got through that time and one day the subconscious just went "poof" with Tenebre and suddenly she was as stable as any of us here, seemingly having a new role given from the submind now that "Old Tenebre" was no longer needed to keep some sort of balance. We then did the same for others. It was a learning experience.
       
      This is a detailed and very specific way it can be helpful, but it sure did save me more than a few times. If you're having trouble with isolation, this could really help you as well as social anxiety. You're not meeting up physically, but you still are meeting up and having to interact, but what's more cool than doing that and being able to ride knight's horses and battle dastardly villains at the same time?
      Just like they say with Tulpas in Wonderland, you'll be having incredible, hilarious, and touching memories for years to come and hopefully make some great friends along the way. I mean, heck, my girlfriend who is a System lives with me and every now and again we go to different rooms to meet up with Skype on 3rd space. There's really not something else like it.
       
       
       

      Benefits


       

      - The first one is easy. Excellent Visualization practice. Without knowing it for years, this process is what created and built my Wonderland for me. 3rd space interaction required a place to meet up, therefor, required a real, visualized location to do so. My Wonderland is very basic, but has certain aspects that are very detailed. It's white grounds meets the horizon to meet a white sky and goes on and on and on. However, we have a house, we have a park, we have a broken down city, we have a bathhouse, we have our own individual worlds, and we can hold our our hand and create anything from fire to landscapes. It may not always stick, but with enough forcing it will. Bring others into that mix and you have someone outside of yourself to bounce off of, who if you both allow, can create. Again, they do not enter your mind, but they describe what they are doing (as well as you for them) to you and you imagine it happen in real time. This creates a wonderful technique for you and another to help improve visualization, imagination, and other practices that can help you with Tulpa making. It teaches you to visualize the way fiction book reading does. You read it, you hear it in your mind, you visualize it! Only difference now is that you're half of the writer, half other writing process. That control and practiced ability can seriously benefit you with your Tulpa forcing, visualization, and possible even imposing (something I'm obsessed with).



      Note: I do not suggest dropping all other practices for this. This is a great side/main activity, but to help with it even more  I still suggest meditation to help increase clarity in visualization and whatever else helps you along your journey.


       

      - Second, improved writing skill. There is only so much you can do and so far you can go with poor writing skills. This includes spelling of critical words (google is your friend in this), grammar, punctuation, and the ability to describe the world around you as it flows and breathes. That last one is something you learn as you practice (heck, my chat logs from a few years ago were pretty awful), but now-a-days it's important to me that if I'm in 3rd space with someone, I can build the world and give it life so that what we experience together and can bounce of of each other easily. The best experiences (and results) come out of that. It's okay to not be perfect or even great at it, but I will say that typing like I did above to then get a response of "Aigle walk to Nee and waves, "hi." and sits." is disheartening, because it adds nothing to the world around you and you can't build anything off of it to reply with. It just stops there. Try to be in the mindset of a writer, not your normal facebook chat with casual friends. You're giving life to a in-between Wonderland. Make it yours and make it fun and immersive!~


       
      - Third, decreased sense of isolation and loneliness. As I said before, 3rd space interactions probably is why I'm still here today. There was a long, seemingly endless dark period of 8 - 9 years where when I was a kid, disability hit me in waves over the years, adding to the pile. This made it increasingly difficult to go out and make friends with people my age or anybody. Shortly after it started is when I started being in long-distance-relationships. I didn't know at the time I was teetering on the 3rd Space interactions that I'd know today. Sure, there was simple building blocks of it like, "/me cuddles you" or "/me kisses you", but nothing like trying to write a book. It wasn't until sometime after I met my ex did that world building aspect come into play. My ex was the first plural I had ever met (more or less besides myself, not really sure where I was at the time). Through 4 - 5 years of interaction between his System and mine, we all grew as people/beings and had hundreds of different experiences, good and bad. Then, it continued with my now Gf and we've grown together as well. You can do this with more than just one person. We wouldn't be the same at all if it wasn't for those interactions. Which leads me to my next point...
       
      - Fourth, Active/Passing forcing made easier/more engaging. I'll be frank and say this probably isn't the same for everyone, but I have a good feeling that 3rd Space interaction could really, really help those trying to force those in their system or soon-to-be. We started out pretty basic, but throughout the years of 3rd Space, we formed into much more life-like individuals that we probably never would have without it (sounds like forcing, doesn't it?). Granted, that's because we had no idea there was this practice or community of people like us. I'm not saying 3rd Space is your key to success, it's not, but it could prove to be a very nice and entertaining lock pick.  ;)
       
      - Fifth, Self-exploration/Learning about oneself. From the example about "Old Tenebre" and that being years into the process, you can probably only imagine the possibilities you'll learn about yourself (and others) when engaging in 3rd space, similar as you may from doing so with your Systemmates in Wonderland. This is why I want to stress the point again that you want to engage in 3rd space with someone that you like, not someone that seems sketchy or in it for their own (probably poor-intended) reasons, just because you don't want to keep searching for someone else. Again, you are not in danger. This does not cause actual possession or give them the ability to harm you, but even still try to cause yourself the least amount of trouble you can. 3rd Space can stay like a casual hangout forever and that is more than fine, but it does bring you and another person(s) closer than distance normally can on its own. So, be aware you may form bonds (or may not) if you're at this for a while. So, be wise about who you want to invite into yourself with. As long as you don't go throwing yourself at strangers, singing and frolicking, asking people to meet you inside of your head, I'm sure you'll be fine.
       
      And that concludes it! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me in the comments and I will do my best to answer them.
       
      Disclaimer: If this somehow, in same way, becomes a negative experience for you, please use common sense and keep your wits about you. I won't accept blame for each and every situation that goes south, though if you use the tools I said above, this is unlikely to happen.
       

      Happy exploring!~ 


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