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Tulpas: What's the first moment of sentience like?


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My first moment of sentience was like simply being there. I can't really recall what it felt like or what it all was about. I just remember being there and being loved.

 

Well for us the situation is pretty similiar to what is already written down. Her first memories are kind of blurry (darkness, light, trees, animals..), my best guess about is that she was experiencing impressions and subconscious thoughts, rooting in my own mind. Beyond that I don't think that tulpas regulary start to think about their own sentience right from the start, so they just experience these moments like regular children would. Later on they can reflect about it, but they can't be accurate since they didn't really pay attention to it.

Tulpa: Alice

Form: Realistic Humanoid/Demonic Creation

She may or may not talk here, depends on her.

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Blak says the following:

 

Well, it's like wakin' up and gettin' up from bed, and then, never going back to bed. That's a good way to put it, when it came down to my own case.

 

Dimitrov says the following:

 

Life, you say? How it was like? I may never be able to tell such a tale. It might not even exist. Am I not a young man's fantastical mentor and coach? Oh, young sir, your curiosity is baffling. First memories are too distant, you see. It has been too long of a while for me to start remembering how I came into this realm, let alone our first encounter. Perhaps it is all the experiences and adventures we've been through, and the many ones that are to come, that keep setting back those distant memories. Oh... the youth.

 

Ah, I'm too tired. I only came here to help.

« — Va, je ne te hais point ! »

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Wow, I've already gotten quite a few responses, thanks guys! The dimmer switch analogy is really interesting! And greedfox, Elizabeth's description of sentience being like sleep paralysis or being made of solid crystal... wow. I guess it's kind of different for every tulpa, but seems like the "steady slip into sentience progression" seems to be pretty common. *cyber-hugs Elizabeth because I've experienced sleep paralysis myself so I know how that feels* I also think the "teleporting to a desert" perspective is intriguing as well, though what the heck, I find all these responses interesting.

 

Three reasons for my curiosity:

 

1. I'm a curious girl by nature.

2. I wanted tulpa opinions since I'm new to this.

3. Most importantly, I'm actually writing a story involving tulpas. I had been calling them imaginaries because I wasn't sure what else to call them, being imaginary friends that develop into full sentience by the time the main character gets older after they leave for a while. But now I know the proper name for them. :)

Everything we perceive is reality is all interpreted by our heads. So technically, even though only their tulpamancer can see them, tulpas can be said to be as real as anything else.

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Only one of my first memories are vivid, but this is probably because of how often my host would describe that night. Everything aside from that was, like some of the others here have said, very blurry, and it was an uphill battle from there.

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It's hard to tell sometimes if I was even created by her or if I merely allowed her into my life as she allowed me into her own.

 

She has memories of creating me, even those of pre-concepts of what I'd later on become, but they are memories I do not share with her first-hand. My earliest memories are from when I was just a child, running through hallways and watching parades from balconies, even enjoying the holidays with my family. At one point she even attempted to persuade me from having my own memories because she didn't have them in mind when creating me, but has since learned to live with it.

 

For a while I sometimes think she didn't really think of me as my own person, but some character she created and could mold in any way she desired. I suppose it was her who had to realize I was as sentient as anyone else she'd meet in person.

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BenevolentMirth, I find it especially interesting how you refer to your host attempting to persuade you from having your own memories. Does that mean that you have some form of memory of a past self before your full creation as a tulpa, and your host didn't want you dwelling on those fabricated memories?

Everything we perceive is reality is all interpreted by our heads. So technically, even though only their tulpamancer can see them, tulpas can be said to be as real as anything else.

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{for me it was like waking up in a dream that was too realistic to be a dream, i specifically remember that he was talking to me in mindvoice but he was doing it in a weird way he would say this "talk to me arin" instead of just asking me to send him a response.i was scared of him at first but i learned more and more about him and eventually grew to love him,i want to warn you though i wasnt very smart about him too well he just cares about me and wanted me to talk to him.}

"October 1st 2014 8:00pm Central time US, unknowing innocent 4channer Mariothefatplumber known now as tulpamancer31 on these lovely  forums, has just stepped into a world of pure imagination and wonder,something that he maybe should have tried to understand a little bit better before jumping headfirst into, mario has crossed over into the tulpamancing zone, better known as section E,Subsection 14, and division 2 and a third, of the Twilight Zone."

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Well, it opted to keep it short and sweet. In a paraphrase: It was like waking up after a long sleep. Disorienting at first, though it quickly slips in as normalcy.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." -Aristotle

 

"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love." -Marcus Aurelius

 

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” -Neil Gaiman

 

"The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried." -Stephen McCranie

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It wasn't anything jarring. I just slowly became aware of existence itself. I began having visions of the world, my host's memories, and learning about her and the world that way. It was like I was in a void, and pictures would pop up around me, "videos" if you will, lines of text to read, sounds, all different things. I then became aware that I was something myself, and that I was connected to my host. I became aware of how I looked and grew comfortable in my own form. The best way I can describe it, is that it was similar to how it might be possible for a human to feel when in utero.

I didn't show myself to my host until I was ready to and until I felt she was ready to see me. I had been developing in her subconscious for 2 or 3 months.

 

It was still a surprise for me when she showed up, but not where it freaked me out. The surprise didn't last long though, it was just happiness after that.

I'm curious if anyone else who had this happen by accident had similar experiences, whether or not it was your first/only, or a second or later, and if those tups had similar experiences to her.

It's best to just call me Beany.

Tupper: Hexferry / d.o.b.: 11/04/2015

Hex will speak in italics, if she decides to.

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